Out-Don Juan'ed

[DonJuanApprentice]

Ok, here's my problem. I have a friend who is a True Don Juan. A year ago, he intorduced me to this site and I've read every article on this site. It has helped me to understand women and I has helped me feel more confident. Well,

A week ago, I met this GORGEOUS woman. I told my friend I was interested in her and to lay off the DJ moves on her. I started getting close with her, doing all the right moves, but my friend came out last night and he started doind the EXACT same thing to them (body movement, phrases, pick up lines) We read from the same "Bible" so he has just as much ammunition as me. He is more attractive than me (and don't say it's objective, i have 200 pounds on him and it's not muscle) He's in perfect shape and has a full head of hair.

After about 20 minutes of us talking to her, I noticed she started ignoring me more and moving her body in a positive manner towards him (I read DJ so I can pick this up) Anyway, she asked HIM if he would go for a walk with her. I still acted chill b/c i didn't want to seem needy or pushy. When they got back, the ENTIRE conversation went to them. I tried my best to throw in some lines, but she would give me this stare like "are you still here?" Eventually, he hooked up with her. I know the DJ attitude so i know there are plenty of other fish in the sea and I never let it get to me, b/c your website helped me from becoming an AFC. I know he just did "this" better and "that" more smooth and blah blah blah, I need to improve this and that (I am in the process, but not there yet). I plan on utilizing my DJ abilities, even before I reach my ultimate physical goal.

Here's the meat of the situation. He LOVES to brag about his accompishments with women to me, and before now, that was cool, b/c I had nothing to do with them. Now, he KNOWS I wanted to get with her and he will PROBABLY rub it in even more. There is a small percentage of me which will feel demeaned hering him say "I got it before you" What I want to know is, I know how to act towards women, but how do i react to my friend when he starts bragging about how "hard he hit it"? Should I tell him it offends me or should I play it off like I don't care?

DJ Apprentice.

Oh yeah, I'm staying at this guy's house, so pissing him off or avoiding him is out of the question.

 

[DonJuanApprentice]

Just in case that was confusing, I just need to know how to let my friend know I don't feel like talking or hearing about her. I have done this a while back on something un-related and got the usual "What can i say, it's just too easy" or "Too bad, I guess she picked the right man after all". The worst one was "You know how the game is played, you just lost this round" I just don't feel like hearing him describe what he did with her in detail, and me asking him not to shows vulnerability, which I am not comfortable showing to my DJ mentor.

 

[TesuqueRed]

1) Just curious, which one of us here was it that introduced you to this site?

2) Bros before hos. Tell friend numb-nuts to re-read that part of the bible...

3) Good thing you've hung around a natural DJ and modeled after him....but he's just lifted his leg and marked his territory for all other less-alpha dogs to take note. This means you. Lose him (see #2 above...) since he's clearly poaching and doesn't care (and why should he--but this is no friend, recognize that.) The earliest you can move and lose him, the better.

4) 200 lbs on him? Need to get this handled...

5) Now you know what you need to know about this bytch. She's a 4.5 babe to you now. Think "used goods..." when you see her. Hell--usually I would strongly recommend against this--but tell her she's used goods when she asks why you are so distant now...

 

[Donjuanpablo]

Originally posted by DonJuanApprentice
Just in case that was confusing, I just need to know how to let my friend know I don't feel like talking or hearing about her

Maybe he'll just read what you just wrote

 

[DonJuanApprentice]

Ok, a few clarifying things:

1. I don't think he posts, just gets the emails.
2. He's EXTREMELY ****y, he talks down to me if I try to object to anything he says (yes, he's Alpha, but he's moving away in 5 days, so I can't change it)
3. I try to model after him, but for some reason, I don't have the "I just don't give a f**k" attitude completely down. I mean, I'm a nice guy in the sense that if a friend of mine is upset, I'll talk to him and try to help him out, He's NOT like that, more of a user and a manipulator (great political fodder)
4. Yeah, but my dad plays for the NFL, and I have the build of a football player, so I can get this taken care of in a few months, but if you think I'm going to stop trying to get with women for MONTHS, you're crazy!
5. Actually, she's rarely here, so I probably won't see her. She didn't interest me mentally at all, so I have no problem just not seeing her. I don't feel like I lost anything by not getting with her, I just wish I hadn't told him I wanted to get with her.

 

[DonJuanApprentice]

oh yeah, and if he read this, he would probably just tell all his friends about it and embarrass me even further.

 

[rastlin2021]

all is fair in love and war, unless u already got her and he poach...else who ever got her first wins , that simple...

sometimes, u win, others u lose...

look for new ones. i wud nt worry if i were u. there's always other gals...

next time dun tell him who u after...if he did this all the time without giving you enough time for the gal, then forget this fren.

usually, i give my frens enough time to get the gal, if he cannot get her interest, i will come in...

anyway, i always tell myself, even if i got her, she dun belong to me...and i dun belong to any gal...

have fun...

 

[DonJuanApprentice]

oh. btw, I know this guy sounds like a jerk or not a good friend, but he intorduced me to this site and whithout him, i would be MUCH worse off than I am now, I so kinda OWE him a little bit. He can be a **** at times, but he's a good guy when he tries.

 

[DonJuanApprentice]

hw got to her first, in ALL categorys, I know he won, he deserves it, blah blah, that's not the problem. It's actually more of a non-woman problem. How do I deal with him flanting his accomplishment? Is there any way to avoid or prevent him from acting that way or making it seem like it's not a big deal, although I have technically told him it was. i was thinking just saying "SHe didn't interest me" or "it was all yours, dog" but they still might get some taunting from him.

 

[rastlin2021]

take it as a challenge...get another gal and when u got her, flaunt it in front of him...

me and my buddy, we use it to challenge ourselves, like when he got a gal, i will go out and get one also...vice versa.

i always set down the rules with my buddy, we will never fight or argue over any gal.

 

[TesuqueRed]

Gotcha, apprentice--the real issue then is that you've outgrown him--(and her, she doesn't even really count here, does she?)--you're ready for more quality people in your life.

He gets next'd (and she is so history next doesn't apply anymore) since his @sshole-ness now costs you more than any benefit he has for you. Lose him and don't look back.

Upgrade the people you're with. Sounds like you're doing it already.

Keep after the girls. How can you resist?--I wouldn't suggest otherwise.

Handle the body however you need to--but just handle it since it gets more difficult the older you get. No one tells you that your metabolism naturally drops by whole factors as you age (like cut in half in the late 20's, cut in half again somewhere in the 30's, cut in half again--!--yes!---in the 40's...)--you just figure it out after you picked up 30 lbs (like I did) outta nowhere. You can't still eat like you're 17 or 21 and just jog it off over a few weekends once you cross over past your mid-20s. Shyt--I'm back down to my normal weight now, but I eat all day what used to be a small meal before--and I don't miss the rest anymore, but it took a lot of re-adjusting to get that way...

 

[DonJuanApprentice]

um, i'll never see him again in 5 days, He's out of college, and moving, and I'm still in college and NOT moving, so there's a VERY small possibility that i will see him again. I just want to know how to react in the moment. That little (although beaten senselessly beaten to a pulp) AFC guy in my head says to say "dude, just leave me alone about her, I don't care anymore, just wuit talking about it" but he knows I care, so that doesn't work.

Oh yeah, and he doesn't follow rules for ANYTHING, even friendship rules, so he doesn't respect ANYONE. He pulls off this "I'm better than you" attitude, which I'll admit works, but pisses alot of people off.

 

[rastlin2021]

Forget abt this chap.

I don't like ppl who don't play by the rules. I have met this type of ppl before and he also left our group after some time. This type of ppl always get into trouble cos they do anything they like.

its all in the mind...when u care less about win and lose...you will win more...

 

[DonJuanApprentice]

I have no problem never talking to him again and I DO look for better friends ( i have ALOT) but I was just trying to find a way to avoid this little moment of embarrasment/ demeanment. I mean, the girl isn't even involved except for being the thing to flaunt. Heck, I don't even think about her, but he WILL being it up. The problem is if he does this around my other friends, it hurts all that more.

As far as the weight, I'm 21 and I can lose the wirght like CRAP! Like 50 pounds of FAT a month (it turns to musle like majic, must the the football DNA) it's just I kinda let myself go a while back and I can pack it on as well as I can get it off. I have no problem losing it and by January, you probably won't be hearing any problems from me (I used to be a pimp back in the day, without even trying) I'm a hot guy trapped in a layer of fat, which I can get rid of, which is where a big chunk of my confidence comes from.

 

[TesuqueRed]

Ok--now I think we got what you're after.

He's gone in 5 days? Lose him means go elsewhere. You and increasingly everyone else but losers in his life will take the same action. Some day he'll die alone (or sorrounded by losers..)

The issue is that he can humiliate you and you can't do much to stop it because you slipped up and let him know you're vulnerable here. Can't counter that except by leaving the scene and having fun elsewhere or--if you got size and weight on him--grab him when he publicly makes fun of you and just handle him like a bytch (sure--that's assault, but you may get away with it--never thought I'd recommend that, btw....)

Anyway. Last word on the size thing. I'm 40, just lost 30 lbs and look good. I could've done this decades ago and saved myself a lot of grief (never really overweight, it just kinda sneaks up on you...) You're 21---handle it now and keep it handled and you'll save yourself one massive shytload of grief and work later. You can exercise it off now, but eventually you'll have to accept that you'll have to eat 1/2 of what you did before, eat smarter, etc--learn about nutrition. Learn it now or play catch-up later.

Oh, and get a 401(k) and an IRA started now so you can retire a multi-millionaire at 55 without half trying.

Wish someone would've told me that 20 years ago...

 

[DonJuanApprentice]

Yeah, we've wrestled b4, and I've made him cry for mommy, so I might just resort to that, just hoped it wouldn't make it look like him "getting some" mattered soo much to me that I would attack him.

As far as the weight, yeah, I reall AM getting it off, like I said, no problem for my future there, just a present one. My dad had to have surgeries and he eats next to nothing, I don't like to eat alot, just pick bad times to do it, and I didn't excersise at all. When I excersize, it's like I get my metabolism completely back, I'm talking if I did 20 sit ups right now, you'd see an inch off my stomach tomorrow.

I have no clue what a 401k or an IRA are but I'll look into it, thanks!

 

[Oxide]

oh boy, this is sad to read, really....

Your friend is an *******, and pushes this alpha male'ness too far, which can be annoying, i know cause i used to be that way.

Face him..tell him this

"Hey man, We need to talk. I know you like your game, but sometimes you have to cool it , because it might frustrate other people. You need to realize that friends are better than girls, and dont pull this alpha attitude on me, because it does not benefit you in anyway. so just relax and be a great friend, not a ****ing *******"


I used to get a lot of **** from AFC, ******* was a common word id hear, but i knew it was jelousy speaking so i didnt mind at all. Later ive realized that a blance of nice guy/jerk is where the money is. Now i am much better at my life, i am not a push over, i stand up for myself and my beliefs, and i make girls get their own ****!

but i am also nice to people, and can do a nice thing once in awhile.


5 days man, who t he **** cares what happens after that. go and party with him..


oh, by the way.. when i am with friends, and someone likes the chick, we usually either agree to leave the chick for a guy, or we call "fair play"

 

[DonJuanApprentice]

ok, thanks, that did it for me, the "I know you like your game, but don't pull this attitude on me, it doesn't benefit anyone." line was perfect. It should work. If he cops an attitude, i'll probably clock him one, and leave. But I think I got what I needed, this is a great forum and I'll be sure to help out as much as I can!

 

[Oxide]

glad to help, tell me how it went.