other guys make me act small

[piri]

hey! Ill try to be brief! I just wanted a simple soluction if you please!

you see, I've not always been the "leader" of my friends, but since a few months ago, I started to be like the most important guy arround everyone! I always get the girl's attension (thanks to sosuave techinques too ) and all my friends respect me and do whatever I ask them or whatever I say! It's not like I'm bossy and stuff, it's just like I have an enormous charisma that has been hidden all these years!

But now, to the important part!

sometimes when I'm arround a few guys (I always looked at them like "superiors" before I started acting like that) it looks like I loose all my confidence and I start acting small!
I HATE when that happens! I know their not superior than me! Of course I know that! But how do I get a soluction to stop getting "intimidated" by their presence?

please give me a soluction! I'm tired of this!

thanx a lot for the attension!

 

[Freddy1]

I dont know if a posting would help in such a complex question so I would suggest you check out some books on being assertive and books on developing leadership qualities. They would give you better inof than what could be said on a board.
There is also good books on body langauge and voice training as well.

 

[NumenMalefic]

grow some balls loser

 

[nishbuk]

Originally posted by NumenMalefic
grow some balls loser

We don't need people like you here. This is suppossed to be a supportive group of brothers. Hiding behing your ineternet connection just makes you seem like even less of a man. grow up.


To your question, I sometimes experience the same thing, and I believe that it's due to the fact that you've basically conditioned yourself to take a submissive role when you are around people of that type. Things that I've tried that have helped a little, is to ask those guys to do meaningless tasks for you. Like, "Hey, can you grab that drink for me?"
Or like, "Hey, hold this for a second, I have to fix my coat". or things like that.

Alternately, you can try and recondition the snap response you get when you meet these guys.

First, when you are at a time when you are feeling REALLY GREAT, and really feel like you are "THE LEADER OF THE PACK", pick a physical anchor to that feeling so that you can use it again. You'll have to do this a number of times before it works.

What I mean is, when you're feeling great, try pumping your fist, and getting real excited whenever you're on a roll. Do it 10-15 times whenever you are feeling GREAT. Then your brain will anchor "feeling GREAT" to your "fist pump".

Then whenever you feel like you're getting submissive around someone, excuse yourself, take a second or two, and pump your fist in the same manner you did when you were anchoring that physical action. You're body will take the anchor, and you'll put yourself into that "feeling GREAT, dominant mode" that you felt before.
Then go back and act on it! (Ask for a stupid favor or something, change the subject in the middle of someone's speech, etc...)

This method is working deecntly well for me, but I have a ways to go...

 

[piri]

yay! thanx a lot!
that really might work!
I'll start doing it!

thanx again

 

[Social_disturbance]

Look them in the eye.

 

[B-Real]

Man I know exactly how you feel. I am currently in the same situation. And its not with everyone, just a few.

Maybe I'll try the fist pumping thing

 

[mroriginal]

Man, this site is getting softer DAY BY DAY!

 

[B-Real]

And the winner of the immaturity award goes too..........!!!!!

 

[HollowHorizon]

Dude

Work Out, Feel Strong...Physically

 

[HollowHorizon]

Penis Pump #1 Cure

 

[piri]

dud! I already feel strnog physically!

anyway, I'm alreay convinced that the hand pumping thing and the giving them josbs thing will work!
thanks anyway!

and what's your problem If I thank who helps me?
looks like I'm not the only one with this problem here!
It's better than being a jerk posting that others are gay because of their problems!

 

[piri]

dud! I don't see the problem to do that in here!
I think there's only problem in doing that in front of girls because it makes you sound like a winnie!

bah! who cares anyway! just shut up!

 

[piri]

wow! you're so friendly and social!

you should be awesome dealing with girls!

 

[gizury]

going caveman wont help "grow some balls"







eye contact good posture and if clubbing or pubbing limt alchole intake while the rest of the caveman jocks act big stuf and crush beer cans . amoging is alot eaiser when ur sober and everyone else is drunk. hand pumping is also awsome

 

[NumenMalefic]

Originally posted by nishbuk
We don't need people like you here. This is suppossed to be a supportive group of brothers. Hiding behing your ineternet connection just makes you seem like even less of a man. grow up.

wa wa wa want to hold hands now

kiss and make up

u r nothing but a hoe

i tell it like it is byatch

 

[locarius]

This place is brutal.


Anyway, what you are sensing is what is called social heirarchy. I am convinced that males of the species have a way of sensing who is above and below them on the social ladder. You feel belittled by these other Alphas because they are above you on the social ladder.

What to do about it?

-You are going to have to subtley challenge their authority. Put them in tough leadership positions that they will likely fail and display their inferiority to the group. Then you can take charge and demonstrate that you are a leader.
-Physically intimidate them, and make them back down from you
-Make fun of them and do not take any **** back
-Do not respond to them when they challenge you, treat them like they are not a threat

WARNING: Climbing up the social ladder is a great way for your friends to disown you. You are challenging their Alpha status, and they will either back down, or fight you. Likely, they will not respond well if it is really obvious what you are doing.

 

[mroriginal]

:box: :cuss: LISTEN YOU LITTLE *****! STEP UP AND BE A MAN!!ROAR!! GROW SOME BALLS, BETTER YET GROW A ****!!BE HARD YOU PYSSY!!TALK LIKE A MAN NOT A FAGGOT OR ARE YOU A FAGGOT?!!ANSWER ME ARE YOU A FAGGOT?!!WELL ARE YOU? BECAUSE YOU SOUND LIKE ONE!!.piri WHAT KIND OF PYSSY ASS NAME IS THAT??ARE YOU SCARED?!!!!!!! YOU SHOULD BE !!! YOUR GONNA GET EATEN ALIVE!! YOU HEAR ME?!!, EATEN ALIVE!! ROAR!!:box:

 

[mroriginal]

.srry double post

 

[piri]

suddendly all those posts insulting me have gone!

bah! anyway...

about that alpha male thing!
their not alpha! they are just simple jerks! It's only that I used to see them as superiors!

but I'll arranje that!

thanx