Orbiters

[zekko]

Why is that mostly only women have orbiters? There are basically a pretty equal number of men as women. Why is that women are able to collect little fan clubs for themselves? You rarely see this with men, except with the very, very elite.

This sounds very negative, but I feel like women are more likely to be comfortable about being dishonest with the whole relationship. They are happy to use these guys for attention - keeping them in the friendzone while knowing the guys would love to have something more. This aspect just feeds their ego.

I think guys are less likely to play these kind of games. If they are attracted to the girl, they will try to fvck them (unless they're too AFC). And if they are not attracted to them, they are not of much use as an ego boost.
Is this why women are more likely to have orbiters, or do you think there is something else going on?

 

[jophil28]

Women base their sense of worth and measure their 'value' according to the levels of external approval from others.

Men tend to measure their worth though their efforts and the results in our career path.
Our income, accomplishments and achievements are our scoreboard.

Because women place such a high value on external acceptance by others, it follows that they will try to accumulate as much 'love' as they can from as many sources as possible.

The orbiter fan club is a powerful way for her to do just that..

 

[Slickster]

Most men are suckers who think that chasing get's the girl.

 

[Buddha_Mind]

^^^^ mostly what slickster said.

But I believe it is possible for a male to have orbiters -- women dismissed early on because of some lack of mutual sexual interest/personality/compatibility -- but whom still desire to be with the man. I've had this happen to me before inadvertently.

It is commonly understood on this forum that a lack of attention can build lust/desire...so it is possible for men to have orbiting women if they've instilled that initial spark in but later pushed aside. But I agree with zekko that most men are rather straightforward and do not entertain such things for their ego.

Unlike a great number of women I've met do get off on the shear attention factor. I had a post about orbiting awhile back in which I was an orbiter around a female. And I can promise you 100% also that this woman loves loves loves the attention. She'll mass spam a text to 4-5 guys just to get a text conversation volleying and gather all of her complements and good feelings and then go back to her sh!tty relationship.

It is honestly pretty sad. Because all of the energy she places into orbiters ultimately is a result of displaced energy that should go into a gratifying relationship. She doesn't get the attention she needs from the BF who claims to marry her some day (and she waits for the ring on and on) so she builds a complex network of strictly male-friends (ie, I don't get along with females), all of whom receive her signals as interest (and my god let me tell you she goes right to the edge). Once an advance is made past that she tries to flip it around and make the male appear as the awkward fool.

I was next to her once when she received a text from a friend of mine (I've known years and years) who tried to ask her out. Yes, text was not proper protocol, yes she has a boyfriend, also not proper protocol, but I don't blame him given the signals she gives off -- you'd think she was begging for it sometimes. She turned to me with a huge grin (from the flattering of the text and the attention) and says, "how awwwkward, I can't give him that". Pisses me off just thinking about how (1) she was high on the attention, and (2) was still using it to frame her ego and belittle the attempting male suitor.

I'm rambling but I think you get the idea....orbiting...argh..

 

[f283000]

^^^^ mostly what slickster said.

But I believe it is possible for a male to have orbiters

Yes, it's called being famous :yes:

 

[L B]

If you have a quality woman, she will have several orbiters around her constantly. I can count 3 long term orbiters that my girl has for the past 5 years I have been with her. I don't even bother with the short term ones. Most of the gifts they give her, she doesn't need and gives them to me. Gift cards are always fun to use knowing where it comes from. I know if I slip up, they will try to jump in the first chance they get. They will do anything they can to destroy my relationship with my girl.

Orbiters are really no threat unless you're not at the top of your game. The mentality goes back to being the best you can be and the best man she can be with. She knows not to fuk around; and if she does, she's not worthy of being with you in the first place.

 

[Julius_Seizeher]

Orbiters are loser waterboys.

"Put me in coach!" Not gonna happen.

 

[backbreaker]

If you have a quality woman, she will have several orbiters around her constantly. I can count 3 long term orbiters that my girl has for the past 5 years I have been with her. I don't even bother with the short term ones. Most of the gifts they give her, she doesn't need and gives them to me. Gift cards are always fun to use knowing where it comes from. I know if I slip up, they will try to jump in the first chance they get. They will do anything they can to destroy my relationship with my girl.

Orbiters are really no threat unless you're not at the top of your game. The mentality goes back to being the best you can be and the best man she can be with. She knows not to fuk around; and if she does, she's not worthy of being with you in the first place.

this is where the mirror effect comes into play.

there were some guys that my GF had around when I came into the picture. she did not like the fact that I would not commit.. better stated, she wanted me to commit to her, yet didn't want to get rid of the chumps in her life, ****ing them or not. it's disrespectful. dont' ask me to give up something and you aren't willing to give up something.

she would not keep male friends around.. not that I would complain, honestly, really wouldn't' bother me all that much, she knows what she got and if she doesn't i can find someone who would. But, she knows how i think. I won't argue, I will just see that okay now it's okay for us to keep friends of the opposite sex, and i will go get a few of my own. the fact that she stocked me half a day not too long ago because she was afraid i was cheating on her, that (me having female friends outside of the relatinoship) to her is not a viable option to her. we been down that one before. she had this guy at the place she gets her hair done they would go out for lunch and ****. I had no problem with that, but when amanda the girl from AA wanted to become closer, I didn't stop her. neither of us ever muttered a word about it. she dropped the friend, and eventually i told amanda to get lost. point made.

 

[zekko]

Because women place such a high value on external acceptance by others, it follows that they will try to accumulate as much 'love' as they can from as many sources as possible.

Good point about women getting their value from others. It's the same reason they're so addicted to facebook and cell phones.

So I can see what's in it for the girls. What are the orbiting guys getting out of it aside from aggravation?

she had this guy at the place she gets her hair done they would go out for lunch and ****. I had no problem with that, but when amanda the girl from AA wanted to become closer, I didn't stop her. neither of us ever muttered a word about it. she dropped the friend, and eventually i told amanda to get lost. point made.

It's nice when it works out like that.

Women these days are brainwashed to think that they are entitled to hang on to their male orbiters, and that if you object to it then your are a needy, jealous, suspicious, controlling, pr!ck. Feminine shaming at its best. In fact the guys are just as brainwashed into believing they have to allow the girls to have their orbiters.

It was actually my ex-wife, oddly enough, that turned me around on this. She said she didn't like the idea of opposite sex friends because it "causes problems". This was pretty much along the way I thought about it, but I had been brought up thinking that even if I didn't like it, I had to allow the girls to have their male friends or I would look weak and jealous. Feminine BS. Now I think differently.

If my current girlfriend hadn't gotten rid of her hanger-ons when I met her, I probably would have gone out and found the hottest, slvttiest girl I could find and start hanging out with her all the time, just to prove a point.

When you getting married, backbreaker? Did you set a date yet?

 

[jophil28]

So I can see what's in it for the girls. What are the orbiting guys getting out of it aside from aggravation?

The orbiting guys believe they are only one coffee and sandwich date away from her pvssy. Why do they believe that ? Because SHE has cunningly sent them just enough indirect encouragements to hold them in orbit. They are waiting their turn to be summoned forward ..

DO you guys think that she is telling these orbiters how great you are and how committed and devoted she is to you? Nah.
She knows that all she has to do is subtly offer them the unspoken promise of her intimacy.
That is false hope and it is a dishonest shell game.

And women are experts at that game.

 

[DJDamage]

I think guys are less likely to play these kind of games. If they are attracted to the girl, they will try to fvck them (unless they're too AFC). And if they are not attracted to them, they are not of much use as an ego boost.

I will admit that I play those kind of games in order to stay in different social circles loop so I can game other women.

Female orbitors are good for social proof for men, which is why I keep them around even though I don't really want to f uck them but I could.

I have a few female aquientences whom I meet only when there is some sort of event/party which I know a large group of people are going to attend (never 1 on 1). I know they are attracted to me (when they get drunk their IOI's goes through the roof) as well as them asking through a mutual friend if I was interested in them to which I always give some vague answer about us being friends and not wanting to break up this friendship but who knows in the future (yes I know its the same B.S women tell men but I realise that if these women were not attracted to me or flat out knew that I had no interest in them then I would mean nothing to them so its a win-win for everyone).

 

[backbreaker]

Good point about women getting their value from others. It's the same reason they're so addicted to facebook and cell phones.

So I can see what's in it for the girls. What are the orbiting guys getting out of it aside from aggravation?


It's nice when it works out like that.

Women these days are brainwashed to think that they are entitled to hang on to their male orbiters, and that if you object to it then your are a needy, jealous, suspicious, controlling, pr!ck. Feminine shaming at its best. In fact the guys are just as brainwashed into believing they have to allow the girls to have their orbiters.

It was actually my ex-wife, oddly enough, that turned me around on this. She said she didn't like the idea of opposite sex friends because it "causes problems". This was pretty much along the way I thought about it, but I had been brought up thinking that even if I didn't like it, I had to allow the girls to have their male friends or I would look weak and jealous. Feminine BS. Now I think differently.

If my current girlfriend hadn't gotten rid of her hanger-ons when I met her, I probably would have gone out and found the hottest, slvttiest girl I could find and start hanging out with her all the time, just to prove a point.

When you getting married, backbreaker? Did you set a date yet?

yeah it was originally set for last month actually but we pushed it back utnil next june 11th as it would have been too much of a clusterfvck to get everyone here in september becuase of her parents farm. then we need to seriously decide where we are going to have it. her mom through kinda a **** storm as she wants it in london, but that means i have to fly my parents out there, which isn't a huge deal but they will miss work and my dad runs a business and my mom is self employed, but if they flew out here, they own a dairy farm. more than likely going to have it there. i will comp my mom if need be and she's never been to that part of the word, neither has my dad or any of my family actually, so they just have to deal with it.

 

[backbreaker]

thinking back to my oneitis, she knew what the hell she was doing i was that guy. we would go out, she would flirt, give me that look, leave her hand on me one second to long, talk to me in that tone. just onnnnnnnnne date away, then when ou call them on it they dont' know what you are talking about lol. biggest scam job ever

 

[Warrior74]

BB clean out your pm's man.

 

[backbreaker]

lol i sure need to give me 5 mintues

 

[backbreaker]

BB clean out your pm's man.

lol now you need to clear yours

 

[Warrior74]

lol now you need to clear yours

sorted.

 

[Tiguere]

...

 

[zekko]

I've thought of another reason why women tend to have male friends, one which I may even be inclined to give them a pass over. Maybe I'm getting too soft:

Women are the weaker sex. It's not really anythign for us guys to go out alone because we know we can take care of ourselves. Women are probably more comfortable in a lot of situations if they have a male with them, they feel more protected. I don't like that necessarily, but I can see it.

 

[synergy1]

The orbiter fan club is a powerful way for her to do just that..

ha ha , my group has a some chicks which we recently decided to call 'the fan club'. Guess if it works the other way around it means we are doing something right!

Speaking from my experience, the guys who were orbiteurs were generally followers of a social group rather than the people who made things happen. Meanwhile my social group are instigators who bring the fun to our group. As the needs dictate, each member has their own hobbies and have no problem just doing out own thing rather than planning around others. This is a key difference I noticed between orbituers and groups who have their own little fan club.

yes, the word orbiteurs doesn't exist but has a nice ring to it and looks awesome! don't hate!