Orbiters, One-itis, Respect

[Desdinova]

The question is what happens now?

What happens now? I keep her around for the sex and companionship. If I get tired of her or the orbiter issue remains an issue, then I go find someone else. It's really pointless to get seriously involved with a woman this day in age. If they can prove themselves to be a quality woman after a couple of years, then it might be worth thinking about sticking with them for longer. I have yet to experience this and I'm not getting my hopes up of it ever happening.

It really does boggle my mind that women think they are entitled to act like this while in an exclusive relationship.

But that's part of a woman's high score list. I can't expect her to lose the existing interest in the guy because he's on her list. That's like asking a woman to stop finding Brad Pitt attractive. Women want to get as much of what they want and whatever they can. This is why women need a man to put his foot down and set limits. If a man doesn't do this, the woman over-indulges in everything she's interested in.

 

[hithard]

Why would that be? I just sent her on an emotional rollercoaster ride. She called me crying and was worried I was going to ditch her. I laid it out a bit clearer for her. She apologized. I lead her slightly off topic and told her a funny story which made her laugh. Then I told her to get some sleep. I ran her right through her emotional scale. That kind of 5hit is going to have a far greater effect than anything the other guy has ever

This works. Do it enough and you hook them good. Eventually she is going to up and leave you though.
But damn son you really gave up. There's a danger in using "I don't give a fuc.k" game unless you are a natural dom.

 

[zekko]

What happens now? I keep her around for the sex and companionship. If I get tired of her or the orbiter issue remains an issue, then I go find someone else. It's really pointless to get seriously involved with a woman this day in age.

I agree with you on that, although I might argue that if you are exclusive with this girl then you are "seriously involved". But I guess as long as you keep your guard up and realize everything is only temporary, it's cool to keep her around as long as her behavior is worthy. My question was trying to get at whether or not you still considered her worthy, and that's up to you to decide.

But that's part of a woman's high score list. I can't expect her to lose the existing interest in the guy because he's on her list. That's like asking a woman to stop finding Brad Pitt attractive.

Yeah, I was going to say I wouldn't object to her being attracted to the guy, it's her behavior I would find disrespectful (hugging him and telling him how good looking he is - basically flirting with the dude in front of you). I would not find that acceptable, but I guess it depends on how she conducts herself from here on out, knowing now that you object to it.

By the way, I don't think a woman's age should enter into whether or not it is appropriate for her to have orbiters, or how she entertains them.

 

[Desdinova]

My question was trying to get at whether or not you still considered her worthy, and that's up to you to decide.

This one orbiter has been the only red flag I've come across. Otherwise, she's a decent woman. Most of the women I've dated have multiple orbiters which is like dealing with an opposing army. Getting rid of one dude shouldn't be too hard, but we shall see.

you dont think its an issue now?

I have to weigh my options here...

1) I can get this decent, stable chick to eliminate her one orbiter
2) I can ditch her and date another chick which could potentially have multiple orbiters (common)
3) I can ditch her and wait for another woman to come along who has no orbiters (rare)
4) I can say to hell with all women and their orbiters, and remain single for the rest of my life.

I have something in front of me that I could potentially work with. I have no plans of marrying this chick, nor do I have any current plans of moving in with her. She's decent to keep around for the sex and companionship. If she becomes more of a pain in the ass than a pleasure, then I'll move on.

I think it's interesting how many guys on Sosuave liken a LTR to mean eventual co-habitation and marriage. Why not just enjoy the LTR for however long it lasts?

 

[zekko]

That bit about enjoying the LTR for what it is, as long as it lasts, that's my motto these days. Definitely no marriage or legal contracts with the state for me.

I'm not against giving a chick a second chance. Especially in situations like this, the feminist culture basically teaches these chicks that it's okay to act like this, like it's one of their "entitlements". And most guys would put up with it for fear of looking insecure or controlling.

If you are a priority for her, she will clean up her act now that she knows that you consider it inappropriate. And if not, the door is always there.

 

[Desdinova]

I'm not against giving a chick a second chance. Especially in situations like this, the feminist culture basically teaches these chicks that it's okay to act like this, like it's one of their "entitlements".

This chick has some very good and very close female friends. This one guy was the exception. Things would be much different if many or ALL her friends were male. I dated a chick like that and our relationship was fvcking loaded with drama because of all these jealous dudes "trying to protect her" as she put it.

 

[Augustus_McCrae]

"Svex,company and Dancing,once you have done your genetic duty to your ancestors,that is it,don't go looking for more...unfortunately the vast Sisterhood out there don't buy into this hence the need to play Don Juan...so knuckle down for the long haul to Eternity,because as the song says "That's all there is"."

Awesome quote Scara, plus a Peggy Lee reference. Great stuff.

Just coming out of a 5 year relationship and your words sound very wise...

-Augustus-

 

[hithard]

I think it's interesting how many guys on Sosuave liken a LTR to mean eventual co-habitation and marriage. Why not just enjoy the LTR for however long it lasts?

There's nothing wrong with this.
Except women have a habit of leaving you at your weakest. You seem to have your $hit sorted. But a lot of guys that do this, have a cry when it goes pear shaped. And it reinforces a negative mindset when it comes to women.
If you can accept that you are setting yourself up for eventually relationship breakdown then there won't be a problem.
Depending on the girl they may stay a while. But they eventually leave or cheat.