Opinions on if No Contact is the right thing in my situation

[Harry Wilmington]

Well, just keep in mind: while you're analyzing all this stuff, she's probably not. So give your brain a break already - like I said, wait til after the holidays then hit her up. If you hit her up for a 2nd date and she doesn't pick up or agrees to it and flakes again, THEN you'll have your answer. Until then, enjoy your weekend and concentrate on literally ANYTHING ELSE.

 

[Building_and_Loan]

Thanks, good call. I think I'm going to sit it out for at least another week or so and see how I feel reaching out to her after that.

Maybe it's all a moot point anyway if she already found some other dude to keep her company.

The bottom line is this - if she wants to see me, she knows how to get ahold of me. I've got another prospect I could be working anyway, I think I'll see how that turns up while playing the waiting game with her.

Hopefully she doesn't write me off because I didn't pass some test of hers to pursue her further. We shall see.

 

[LiveYourDream]

If she is a dedicated "Rule's Girl," understand these are just some of the rules that will dictate her behavior and explain her lack of response:

1. Be a “Creature Unlike Any Other"
2. Don't Talk to a Man First (and Don't Ask Him to Dance)
3. Don't Stare at Men or Talk Too Much
4. Don't Meet Him Halfway or Go Dutch on a Date
5. Don't Call Him and Rarely Return His Calls
6. Always End Phone Calls First
7. Don't Accept a Saturday Night Date after Wednesday
8. Fill Up Your Time before the Date
9. How to Act on Dates 1, 2, and 3
10. How to Act on Dates 4 through Commitment Time
11. Always End the Date First
12. Stop Dating Him if He Doesn't Buy You a Romantic Gift for Your Birthday or Valentine's Day
13. Don’t See Him More than Once or Twice a Week
14. No More than Casual Kissing on the First Date
15. Don't Rush into Sex and Other Rules for Intimacy
16. Don't Tell Him What to Do
17. Let Him Take the Lead
18. Don't Expect a Man to Change or Try to Change Him
19. Don’t Open Up Too Fast
20. Be Honest but Mysterious

Behaving as "Rules Girl/Woman" is a dedicated and non-negoltiable practice for some women, who have read the book(s), or know other women that have. It becomes their commitment and focus, as they are taught, "The Rules" will help them finally "land the guy of their dreams."

 

[Building_and_Loan]

^^Yep, she basically has those rules, though definitely not verbatim, up as a Facebook post from a couple years ago. I've gathered from it she was definitely into the "bad boy" type and trying to nurture and change guys, and was trying to list all of the reasons to give that up, as well as give advice to other girls.

This girl though, I'm at least going to wait until after New Year's to call her again, but not just focus on her as my only option. That'll be at least 2 weeks that I will have gone without contact.

 

[deepower]

Yes, no contact is the right thing to do. No contact is always the right thing to do when a woman's attitude sucks.

Yes.. she either lost interest or wants you to chase her. Either way, if her interest is lower than yours then its time to downgrade her to f*ck buddy (if anything) and start looking for better options. The only satisfying relationships are the ones were the woman's interest is high and stays high.

Working to increase her interest is for chumps.

I strongly believe men should never chase women. Its demeaning. Sure.. you might have less women in your life.. but at least the women you actually date will only be women with high interest.

I had a similar situation occur two weeks ago. I met this girl who seemed to have interest through the roof. She was extremely responsive and texted me multiple times a day for a week. Then I set up a date and she flaked last minute saying she was sick. Checked up on her a few days later and she was friendly. Then asked her about holiday plans and she didn't respond.

I haven't contacted her since. Why? Because she has been downgraded to booty call. For me a woman is only relationship material if she kisses my ass. Any non-responsiveness, rudeness, or flakiness makes me lose interest. As it should. Because I don't believe in chasing.

If she ever contacts me again.. I will invite her to my apartment (because she blew her chance for an actual date). If she doesn't agree to come.. I will delete her number.

Basically the less a woman kisses my ass.. the worse I treat her. Women should kiss your ass. If they don't understand your value and superiority.. then you should treat them like the peasants they are.

How old are you?

 

[Between_The_Lines]

^^Yep, she basically has those rules, though definitely not verbatim, up as a Facebook post from a couple years ago. I've gathered from it she was definitely into the "bad boy" type and trying to nurture and change guys, and was trying to list all of the reasons to give that up, as well as give advice to other girls.

This girl though, I'm at least going to wait until after New Year's to call her again, but not just focus on her as my only option. That'll be at least 2 weeks that I will have gone without contact.

If attraction levels are high enough, it presents itself as a trump card over The Rules card. Those rules make logical sense to her, and she'll be able to more easily employ them with a guy who does not make her get lost within some rapturous flow of emotions. Rules schmules if the guy makes her vaj tingle.

 

[channingtatum]

She ever hit you back up after NC? Funny I found this thread, as I've run into a very similar situation.

 

[Building_and_Loan]

No, I keep wanting to break down and call her but I've gotta wait for her to come to me, if she does.

Are you going No Contact right now?

 

[Building_and_Loan]

My take based on what you wrote is you scared her off by going from casually starting to date, to acting like you two were in an exclusive relationship.

Also, just going to mention the elephant in the room…. how was the shex? Did you bang her good? Bad shexx could def be another reason why she disappeared on you.

I agree with Pyros on this one; it doesn't hurt you at all to send a quick text and see if/how she responds.

Remember a man should always lead and if you think she has interest in you, then hit her up one last time.

Women have ridiculous levels of pride and even when they want to, they will refrain from initiating contact with a guy they really like because of societal standards.

This doesn't look like a case of another guy in the picture, it looks to me like either the shex was disappointing to her and/or she got scared off by the amount of time you two suddenly started spending together.







PIMP

But if I scared her by acting like we were in an exclusive relationship, shouldn't I lay low until she contacts me, if she does? It's been almost two weeks since I've talked to her.

Anyway though, I think you may be right after all. The last night she and I hung out we went to see a play and get drinks afterwards. Towards the end of the night while at the bar, I mentioned to her I brought an overnight bag and was going to crash at her place, as she lives about 4 minutes away from my work, as opposed to my 30 minute commute. But when I said this to her, she had this kind of semi-surprised/shocked look on her face that I'd just said that, and invited myself over. I mean she didn't fall out of her chair, but it caught her off guard a little.

I mean I had crashed at her place before unannounced after dates, but those times, she had time to prepare for my arrival, i.e. clean her apartment. This last time I saw her though, she said "why didn't you tell me you were going to stay over, that way I could have cleaned my place?" I honestly didn't think much of it at the time, but when we got back she was kind of distant and was on Facebook for a while before going right to sleep. She pretty much shut down any possibility of sex or anything physical.

The more I think about it, this may be the reason for all this. Maybe I acted like we were in a committed relationship too soon for her. If this is the case, should I just lay low until she reaches out, or text her after a few more days? I mean it's been 2 weeks anyway, but who knows.

I don't know if there's any way to get a girl back after making her nervous by moving too quickly, but I feel like if there's anything that could be done, giving her space over the holidays would be one thing.

 

[Trump]

No, I keep wanting to break down and call her but I've gotta wait for her to come to me, if she does.

Bro it sounds like you are really in love with her. This girl must really be hot or give good sex.

If you are that mesmerized by her, just send a her a simple text saying "Hi XXX, I got 2 tickets to XXX on XXX and would love if you could join me." or "I like you to come over Friday night, I can could dinner for you." or whatever other text that will get you to sleep with her.

But bro calm down. This girl got her sex fix and now doesn't care enough to even text you back. She has got your head is spinning while she is on Facebook laughing with her friends about their Europe trip.

 

[deepower]

Man you are just assuming things...she didn't text me for Cristmas or New Years ( Did you text her?) No and why she has to text you then? . You are the man you have to go after her. Be confident and text her now like everything is perfect and you was just super busy with your family and **** but really want to see her. Don't you ever mention again the insident, forget about it. And if she ever say something just tell her to not worry. Be a man!....She is probably embarrased for what happened. And is waiting for you. Something else, how can you have sex when she is on her period? That is gross man.Any way. Be confident and don't wait for her. You don't have nothing to lose. She must be thinking how gross she was last time she saw you and feel embarrased to call you. If a woman has another man or other men believe me she will make plans when she doesn't have her period. And if it is true that she wanted or wants to wait until the relationship is serious then she couldn't control herself. Bigger reason to feel embarrased after all what happened. Text her ask her how she is doing, start all over again. Don't be a ***** be a Man. Come on. I am pretty sure that i am right here. I know plenty of women

 

[deepower]

And by the way, most men here in this forum talk about women that must go after them...for me is perfect because i sleep with all the woman that they are practicing NC fantacy hahaha I'm serious, the game has to change. Women this days are smarter and they are all reading this forum and all the bs outhere. Women want to have a man and a man is someone confident who is not afraid, because he knows that if one say no then it will be another that will say yes. Looks matter but what matters most is personality....

 

[Building_and_Loan]

haha, I didn't know she was on her period when we did it. And also, I did reach out to her after we had another date since that incident, and she didn't respond. That's the reason for all this. I'm more confused by her waiting and waiting to have sex (a little over a month of dating twice a week), saying how sex changes relationships, then we have sex and she disappears shortly after.

Fvck it, maybe I'll just call her in a couple days to see what she's up to.

 

[salinechow]

What is this?

If she is a dedicated "Rule's Girl," understand these are just some of the rules that will dictate her behavior and explain her lack of response:

1. Be a “Creature Unlike Any Other"
2. Don't Talk to a Man First (and Don't Ask Him to Dance)
3. Don't Stare at Men or Talk Too Much
4. Don't Meet Him Halfway or Go Dutch on a Date
5. Don't Call Him and Rarely Return His Calls
6. Always End Phone Calls First
7. Don't Accept a Saturday Night Date after Wednesday
8. Fill Up Your Time before the Date
9. How to Act on Dates 1, 2, and 3
10. How to Act on Dates 4 through Commitment Time
11. Always End the Date First
12. Stop Dating Him if He Doesn't Buy You a Romantic Gift for Your Birthday or Valentine's Day
13. Don’t See Him More than Once or Twice a Week
14. No More than Casual Kissing on the First Date
15. Don't Rush into Sex and Other Rules for Intimacy
16. Don't Tell Him What to Do
17. Let Him Take the Lead
18. Don't Expect a Man to Change or Try to Change Him
19. Don’t Open Up Too Fast
20. Be Honest but Mysterious

Behaving as "Rules Girl/Woman" is a dedicated and non-negoltiable practice for some women, who have read the book(s), or know other women that have. It becomes their commitment and focus, as they are taught, "The Rules" will help them finally "land the guy of their dreams."

Link? I am going to read this. The "enemies" play book

 

[hockeyfreak79]

haha, I didn't know she was on her period when we did it. And also, I did reach out to her after we had another date since that incident, and she didn't respond. That's the reason for all this. I'm more confused by her waiting and waiting to have sex (a little over a month of dating twice a week), saying how sex changes relationships, then we have sex and she disappears shortly after.

Fvck it, maybe I'll just call her in a couple days to see what she's up to.

I haven't seen anyone bring this up so here goes. I would chalk this up as a lost cause bro, you never had a solid frame & gave her way to much power by playing by her rules. 2-3 times a week before having sex?

You gave her way to much attention that I don't think she deserved. She may be trying to change & looking for nice a guy but deep down inside she's the same girl that wants the animal that will rip her clothes off! Sexual tension needs to exist, I'm not sure you built up enough. No doubt she's embarrased about making a mess of your bed!

So then she ignored your attempt at making contact? Yeah move on man, sounds like she's in NC mode. All the nice guy stuff & awesome dates didn't spark enough emotional investment & quite frankly didn't make her tingle.

Move on bro work on yourself, stick around tighten your game up you'll be fine.

Holy sh*t that Rules/List! Too funny!

 

[channingtatum]

Unfortunately, when a girl is into you, they'll absolutely make sure you know. I have had circumstances where a girl had too much going on in her life to invest anything in me (they don't work like we do). I hit her up months later, after her life had settled down and she fell for me hard. It's a slippery slope man and you'll honestly never know the right decision. Waiting too long to propose another get together will either turn her off (if she's shy or just weird) and also make it awkward because of the obvious distance. I'd say wait no more than 14 days, shoot her a text saying you have tickets to xyz and that she could come with you. If she says no or stays silent, then either she wasn't that into you, found another guy, or having whatever chick problems they have in their life. You can always hit her up say 3 months later, a hail mary. But even then, you should be out hopefully ****ing other chicks by then. We intuitively know when something is over, and I think you know this. Sucks, but it's life.

 

[Building_and_Loan]

Thanks man, but I think the guy above you is ultimately right. She's had plenty of time to text me the last two weeks, and she hasn't. Either her interest level isn't there anymore or she's with another guy, or probably both.

But hey, give me more credit than that hockeyfreak, we were up in her apartment after the second date and I was ripping off her clothes and bra while making out, so there was definitely no questioning my manhood there haha.

Yep, I think I'm going to let this one lie after some moments of clarity today. Maybe me not asking for closure will cause her to re-think some things down the road, especially after some guy hurts her or screws up. Never want to screw up a possible chance at future pvssy.

 

[TheGambino]

My take based on what you wrote is you scared her off by going from casually starting to date, to acting like you two were in an exclusive relationship.

Also, just going to mention the elephant in the room…. how was the shex? Did you bang her good? Bad shexx could def be another reason why she disappeared on you.

I agree with Pyros on this one; it doesn't hurt you at all to send a quick text and see if/how she responds.

Remember a man should always lead and if you think she has interest in you, then hit her up one last time.

Women have ridiculous levels of pride and even when they want to, they will refrain from initiating contact with a guy they really like because of societal standards.

This doesn't look like a case of another guy in the picture, it looks to me like either the shex was disappointing to her and/or she got scared off by the amount of time you two suddenly started spending together.







PIMP

This is in my opinion the best answer on your case.

 

[Building_and_Loan]

Aaaaaaaaaaaaand found out today that there's another guy. No surprise here. So basically while I've been looking up advice on how to get a girl back she's been banging some other dude. The guy is a total bro, frat boy all star too, the type of person everyone hates. Whatever, if she's attracted to that then she's not the type of person I thought she was anyway.

I officially believe in karma now, as this is probably its way of making me pay for having sex with an engaged girl who interned in our office over the summer. Except what I did was way worse, this girl I made this thread about wasn't even my girlfriend yet, but it definitely seemed like we were headed that way.

NEXT.

 

[Building_and_Loan]

Ha everything happens for a reason. I'm honestly glad this happened in retrospect, otherwise I never would have found this site and wouldn't have swallowed the red pill when I did.