Opinions on how to pursue

[Fumbduck]

Hi Guys...it's been years since i've been on the boards here, so i'm back for a refresh. Just re-read the dj bible...always a good source of information.

Anyway, hopefully I can get a few good opinions on a girl i'm interested in. A wholesome, very cute girl. Someone who i'd consider for girlfriend material. I'm out of college and she's currently finishing up, and 3 hours away. While she's in school, I do not want to have a long distance, serious relationship. I want to keep the interest level up and hang out with her on breaks, etc. Possibly setting up the groundwork for after she finishes up.

So I approached her in September, played some pool and got the number. She said she was "surprised" I was interested in her. Start BS'in with txt messages, and texted every other day pretty much for the next month. We hang out once at the end of October, (goes well, lot of kino, hold hand, DID NOT kiss, I don't kiss on a first 1 on 1 date. Just my style...) After the date, she wanted me to come visit her at her school. We set a date and then gets sick the weekend I was supposed to come down. I saw her twitter and according to that, she really was sick. (Alright, it can happen, i guess).

We continue to BS with texting, and set something up for Thanksgiving weekend, where she's home for like 5 days. The majority of the time she's not available because of the holiday, family, old friends from town, etc. My texting has stopped after she said she wasn't available to hang out after she has told me "she really likes me", "wants to see me over the break", etc.

I have a handful of girls i'm chilling with right now, so "oneitis" isn't my problem. I just think this girl could be a good girlfriend one day since i'm getting to that age...ya kno! I'd like to keep her IL up, but I feel that when she was home for 5 days and REALLY wanted to hang out, she would have find a way to make it happen.

What do you guys think, pursue or NEXT! :trouble:

 

[Hakuna]

Next. You're right, if she wanted to hang out with you, then she would've made it happen. Plant seeds and move on

You texted her for a month without doing anything else? If I was married, I wouldn't even text my wife for a month unless I got some from her.

gj talking to other girls, keep gaming. And don't worry about getting to the age where you need a girlfriend, if you adopt that mentality then you'll end up settling for less.

 

[Alchemystic]

No, we never pursue! We attract!
Do I have to spell out the reason why?
I am too lazy to argue with you so I will just recommend you books
Gun Witch Method by Allen Gun Reyes.
Real World Seduction by Swingcat.(The art of prizing)
Read it, you will learn a lot from it.

Didn't the "mystery method" ever teach you that you are the prize. The prize does not pursue, the prize is pursued!

 

[Voice]

No, we never pursue! We attract!
Do I have to spell out the reason why?
I am too lazy to argue with you so I will just recommend you books
Gun Witch Method by Allen Gun Reyes.
Real World Seduction by Swingcat.(The art of prizing)
Read it, you will learn a lot from it.

Didn't the "mystery method" ever teach you that you are the prize. The prize does not pursue, the prize is pursued!

You have the right idea but it doesn't quite work this way. Yes, we are the prize, but being the prize doesn't mean we don't pursue. Actually don't think of it as "pursuing", think of it as "inviting her into your world". We are giving her a chance to be with us because we feel she may be worthy. This doesn't mean she automatically has us. We still have to date her to find out if she is truly worthy. This is the type of attitude you should have. Instead of having her test you, you give her little tests. This way of thinking makes you come across as high value, confident and fun. This attitude is what is going to make you attractive.

Think about it if you feel you are the prize, you're the one who's gonna try to find out about her. Ever read the Art of Conversation? The rule is to talk about her and reveal little about yourself. Well this is just a side effect of "I am the Prize" mentality. ****y & funny is also a side effect of being the prize mentality. I guarantee you girls do not come across guys like this very often. This is exactly the mentality that separates the DJ from the AFC.

To OP. Why next so fast? If you are into this girl then keep going. Ask her out for a date. Be sexual, ****y funny, and be the prize. Find out if she truly is good enough for you. Make her say no. Don't be afraid to get rejected, but dammit keep seeing other girls.

 

[Fumbduck]

Exactly, as a man who is "the prize", we pursue and decide whether or not the girl is "worthy" to be invited into our world. I'm tired of hearing from people who are super technical from reading all these attraction techniques with limited field experience.

A $500k ferrari is also a prize, but it still takes advertising to match it with a driver. As men, it's our job to pursue women and create attraction with our attitude and confidence. Once attraction is created, I feel we can begin to make the girl work for our attention.

Why give up on the girl so soon? Don't know, just assumed by the lack of effort on her part to make time, she wasn't interested. Which I now realize after typing that sentence my mindset is AFC with this one because I feel she's not some bimbo. After a 2+ year LTR you can easily loose the edge and get soft. "Make her say no", I like that...

And yes, spinning multiple plates keeps your head grounded, mind moving, and keeps thing fun.

 

[ARrocket]

I agree with Vice, I wouldn't be so quick to dismiss her.

Yes, if she was REALLY interested (as in VERY), she would have found a way. But I mean come on dude...it's Thanksgiving. If she's back home, she'll be first spending time with family, and then with old FRIENDS. You're kinda a last option here, even if she's into you.

I think your biggest obstacle is caring so much. You say you're seeing other girls, but the whole "I think she's gf material" is too much...don't worry about it! Just let things take their course. I'm assuming you live in the place which she calls home? In that case, the semester is almost over, just chill until then (I'm assuming she'll be home over the break?).

You sound like you're in the USA so I'll say this: Winter break is long as fvck, she'll have plenty of time. That's when you make things happen

Until then, just relax, don't jump to conclusions, and continue having some fun with other people!

 

[IAMHOLLYWOOD]

I agree with Vice, I wouldn't be so quick to dismiss her.

Yes, if she was REALLY interested (as in VERY), she would have found a way. But I mean come on dude...it's Thanksgiving. If she's back home, she'll be first spending time with family, and then with old FRIENDS. You're kinda a last option here, even if she's into you.

I think your biggest obstacle is caring so much. You say you're seeing other girls, but the whole "I think she's gf material" is too much...don't worry about it! Just let things take their course. I'm assuming you live in the place which she calls home? In that case, the semester is almost over, just chill until then (I'm assuming she'll be home over the break?).

You sound like you're in the USA so I'll say this: Winter break is long as fvck, she'll have plenty of time. That's when you make things happen

Until then, just relax, don't jump to conclusions, and continue having some fun with other people!

AR,

Thanks for this, as I was reading through this thread I saw it relating to a situation with which i have been dealing; it's also got got me thinking on what has been giving me approach anxiety lately: OUTCOMES!

By focusing on what could happen we don't allow it to or work for it become a reality. Rather, we focus so much mental attention on a specific desired outcome that we let the possibility of that outcome pass on by.

-IAH

 

[MurdocNiccals]

Uhm why "next" her? She was sick or something.

God why is every other piece of advice on this forum "NEXT HER"?