Opinions; is she worth my time

[Stylez88]

Hey gang, I've read through a lot of the DJ Bible material and I'm glad I came across this site, so much respect and help!

If I may I would like to get more specific opinions / advice on a situation I'm currently in from those who have either been there or are just more experienced.

There is a girl at work same age as I, I'm only part time due to studying, so I only see her 1-2 times a week for a short while. Anyways, as usual started off good, but now I'm not so sure. And there is no work policy in the way and she is consenting to everything mentioned below

For the record I have her phone number, but we very rarely text

It began with her playfully punching me (I assume as an excuse to touch me) after I would tease her / make fun off her. Then there was the casual bumping into one anther, brushing a hand past etc, and to date signs of her being interested were easy to see ie eyes / body movement / attention and interest she would give to me And I was cool with that things were simple. But I think I may have come across as too ****y.

a little over a week ago she somehow got us playing a new game which I just named titty twister. Objective is pretty straight forward but I let her win so she can grope my pecs in the process but I don't let her get away with it so when I can I'll give chase and try get pay back, but when I do i normally take hold of her by the hands /wrists gently and she would spin around so essentially I was hugging her from behind. In short we just always have fun together

As mentioned above she's not great with replying to texts yet but I know that doesn't mean much, but I have a suspicion she may like some1 else

Me and a mutual friend were gonna catch up next week and invited her to come (first time I'd socialize with her out of work) she was keen.

I kinda like her, but it's by no means the be all end all. So what's the go? Is she interested /worth my time? .... Should I invite her out just the two of us and see what happens? ....just didn't want to make things awkward at work despite the fact I'm rarely there.

Thank you

 

[NobodyCares1]

I think you should spend some one on one time with her, get to know her, escalate the KINO and try to kiss close... after that things should be much clearer...

 

[Greasy Pig]

Yeah, organise a one on one date first like a concert or bowling or something. Introduce some booze and flirting. See how you go.

To me, she doesn't seem overly interested but there's only one way to find out. And beware, my "friend zone" sense is tingling with this one...,

 

[Mantis Toboggan]

As mentioned above she's not great with replying to texts yet but I know that doesn't mean much, but I have a suspicion she may like some1 else

Well, she's allowed to like more than one person at a time.

Me and a mutual friend were gonna catch up next week and invited her to come (first time I'd socialize with her out of work) she was keen.

I kinda like her, but it's by no means the be all end all. So what's the go? Is she interested /worth my time? .... Should I invite her out just the two of us and see what happens? ....just didn't want to make things awkward at work despite the fact I'm rarely there.

Thank you

Inviting her out and seeing what happens is always the best way to figure things out.

Otherwise, you're just playing a guessing game.

 

[ebracer05]

Hey gang, I've read through a lot of the DJ Bible material and I'm glad I came across this site, so much respect and help!

If I may I would like to get more specific opinions / advice on a situation I'm currently in from those who have either been there or are just more experienced.

Welcome! It's always good to see new guys coming in to the community who wants to learn and better themselves. If you're truly up for this journey it's going to be amazing! You have to remember know that nothing worth having or achieving in life is going to come easy and if you want to become a DJ, you will be pushed out of your comfort zone, probably quite a bit... but you can do it

The first lessons you can think about is based in the title of your question: Why do you want a bunch of people on the internet telling you whether a girl is worth your time? That sounds like a dependent mindset and like you may have made it a habit to rely on others to make your decisions. I used to lean on my dad way too much and couldn't hardly do anything without having him tell me what to do. Now that's not to say that a man shouldn't seek the mentoring of other good men around him - he would be foolish not to. However, a man learns how to and is comfortable to make decisions for himself.

There is a girl at work same age as I, I'm only part time due to studying, so I only see her 1-2 times a week for a short while. Anyways, as usual started off good, but now I'm not so sure. And there is no work policy in the way and she is consenting to everything mentioned below

For the record I have her phone number, but we very rarely text

That's not so bad. I think it's better to text less than more. You will see guys on the other extreme of this who try and have conversations that would take an hour to have in person all day over their phone via text. That isn't a good idea. It's also not a big deal that you don't see her every day.

One caution before we go any further - there is a saying that goes something like "don't p*ss where you drink". Work game is tough because for whatever reason, even if you have God-like alpha game, your target may not be interested. I don't think that's the end of the world as much as some guys, but it will make things awkward at least in the short term. What can get bad is if the girl does like you, you hook up, you start dating, or something and it goes bad. Especially if you crush her... it can make work a very negative place to be. If you catch the dreaded oneitis and she decides she isn't interested, that can make work a very negative place to be as well.

Tread lightly!

It began with her playfully punching me (I assume as an excuse to touch me) after I would tease her / make fun off her.

That is a great way to begin! Sounds like I don't need to explain that to you

Then there was the casual bumping into one anther, brushing a hand past etc,

If it happens more than once, it's never an accident!

and to date signs of her being interested were easy to see ie eyes / body movement / attention and interest she would give to me And I was cool with that things were simple. But I think I may have come across as too ****y.

Well, let's see. Sounds like she definitely has some interest in you from the simple portrait you've painted. One of the limitations of a website is that obviously, we weren't there and have to rely on other people's descriptions of what happened. This means if you want the best advice, you need to be as objective, honest, and detailed (all whilst being concise too) as possible.

a little over a week ago she somehow got us playing a new game which I just named titty twister.

Dude, you can't tell us you're playing a game called "t*tty twister with a girl at work and not fill us in on the rules!! How are we going to teach some girl how to play it??

Objective is pretty straight forward but I let her win so she can grope my pecs in the process but I don't let her get away with it so when I can I'll give chase and try get pay back, but when I do i normally take hold of her by the hands /wrists gently and she would spin around so essentially I was hugging her from behind. In short we just always have fun together

Why don't you ever make sure you when so you can grab her t*ts? If you made any mistakes so far, this is the most obvious one to me. If you want to get with a girl, you need to escalate with her, and if you get her to agree to play a game called t*tty twister, she's grabbing your chest, and you aren't grabbing her's, IMO you are doing something wrong. It's good you aren't afraid to touch her, but you also can't be afraid to touch her more intimate areas too. That is what separates a "friend" from a "boyfriend".

It's good you guys can have fun together, and maybe whenever you were playing the game it wouldn't have been a good idea to grope her. Maybe you were at work. But if she was grabbing your chest, chances are you were somewhere that you could have grabbed hers. If you don't push the boundaries, you're never going to know where they are.

As mentioned above she's not great with replying to texts yet but I know that doesn't mean much, but I have a suspicion she may like some1 else

Those two ideas aren't correlated. Some girls, and thankfully for the guys they are with, are not slaves to their phones. This is not bad. Don't rely on the frequency of text messaging or the speed of response as an indicator of interest. Instead think about her grabbing your chest and "accidentally" running in to you. Those are indicators of interest.

Now let's see why you think she's after somebody else...

Me and a mutual friend were gonna catch up next week and invited her to come (first time I'd socialize with her out of work) she was keen.

I think a one-on-one date would have been a better choice, but you're still getting her out of work, which is something a lot of guys wouldn't have the b@lls to do.

I kinda like her, but it's by no means the be all end all. So what's the go? Is she interested /worth my time? .... Should I invite her out just the two of us and see what happens? ....just didn't want to make things awkward at work despite the fact I'm rarely there.

Well now, you didn't say why you think she might like somebody else.

This is your call man. Just strictly based on what you said here, I would be very surprised if you asked her to hang out after work and she said no.

Remember what I said about p*ssing where you drink though.

You have to figure out what you want and not give a sh*t about what anyone else thinks. Who cares about them and why should they dictate what goes on in your life? If you like her, go out, but try and avoid a traditional dinner date... find an action date like going on a hike, doing something outside since its summer, going bowling, or just getting drinks (keep in mind, the first 2 ideas are free). At the end of the day, do what you want to do.

Responses in bold.

 

[Stylez88]

Thank you kindly for the responses so far and the welcome aboard !
ebracer05 that was an awesome reply cheers !

To answer a few extra details, to be honest I've never resorted to or needed approval from anyone for anything that I do, I think given the details of the situation I'm in. it's foreign territory and figured there are people like yourself and others who actually contribute in a creative but not manipulative way.

I'm still weary about the whole work thing but with a bit luck I won't be there much longer which is possibly the only reason I'm considering it.

I suspect she may be interested in somebody else purely on the basis she will often get frequent calls from the guy, in addition to text messages which I assumes she replies (not really anything to go by)

Thanks again,

 

[Stylez88]

Yeah, organise a one on one date first like a concert or bowling or something. Introduce some booze and flirting. See how you go.

To me, she doesn't seem overly interested but there's only one way to find out. And beware, my "friend zone" sense is tingling with this one...,

Hmm well I won't know till I try, maybe I'm naive but there are plenty of other guys she gets on with but not like how we do (again not much to go on)

And the friend zone I just don't know I actually made effort to avoid that from the start, we met like 5 weeks ago to date. Since then she has not used the stereotypical "nice guy" but jerk and a**hole in a joking manner, she hasn't commented on our friendship, or any of that jazz. Is there any signs I may be missing?.

 

[Mike32ct]

I think a one on one date would have been better. Outside of work you can play a more aggressive version of your game.

The reason you don't invite a guy friend to your date before you have sex with her is she might end up more attracted to him. It's a small risk but it can happen.

But it sounds like you set up the plans already so just go forward with it.

Maybe talk to your buddy ahead of time so he can leave a little early and thus give you and her some alone time at the end.

 

[Stylez88]

I think a one on one date would have been better. Outside of work you can play a more aggressive version of your game.

The reason you don't invite a guy friend to your date before you have sex with her is she might end up more attracted to him. It's a small risk but it can happen.

But it sounds like you set up the plans already so just go forward with it.

Maybe talk to your buddy ahead of time so he can leave a little early and thus give you and her some alone time at the end.

You have a very valid point however is not a pressing matter, he has a gf already and there is no chance of them splitting any time soon, so i think I'm safe there. But the idiot did lose his license so I'd be stuck with him all night

On another note I was going to make plans with her alone just after that night but the more I think about it the lower my chances get so might just cancel with my mate, we can do that another time.... And clear the schedule for her?...

 

[Mike32ct]

Yeah tell her buddy couldn't make it. Make plans just you and her.

You might lose a few points because it might seem (to her) like a bait and switch, but in the long run I think you can run better game one on one.

 

[DonJuanabe]

Your entire focus should be making out with her at some point next time you see her. If you don't do that you have failed. Period. And I don't mean a peck on the cheek -- full on mouth to mouth heavy kissing (and grope a bit with your hands while you're at it).

 

[Stylez88]

Hey all, so it's been ~3 weeks since my original post.

Here's the update,
Yes I ended up making out with her, yes she confessed that she does like me but is having a few issues with a crazy ex from a while back and what's to sort that out before getting involved with me.... So she says.

So, she has asked me to give her just a little bit of time and will let me know when she is ready. To which I replied *sure I guess , I have nothing to lose*

But what she doesn't know is I have been seeing anoother girl on the side + just met another one gone Saturday night....options much?.

Not gonna lie, girl #1 is my proffered of the 3 but hey it's her loss if she fails to pursue.

Thanks again for the help and suggestions prior once again !