Opening up Women at the Gym...

In2theGame

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I know this is a pretty big topic with many Men on here and I recently decided I'm going to open up and introduce myself to the Women I find attractive at my gym. I started last week and I was surprised at the responses because from afar, we make assumptions about how that Woman acts, talks and carries herself. So here we go Exhibit A, B & C. (This gives me warm fuzzies because it reminds me of the old school field reports here on Sosuave from the "AFC" and "Sarging" days LOL)

  • Girl A - Latina, long black hair with tanned skin. 19/20 years old. About 5'7". I would say B size t!ts, AMAZING ass, flat stomach where you can see a hint of ab definition and IMO a very naturally beautiful face. I could tell she has no hint of makeup on so she's naturally beautiful. On my scale from 1 - 10, She's a solid 8.5. When she's done up I could see her being a 9.

  • Girl B - Could be Russian/Irish/Italian, Short Brown hair with light skin 28 Years old. About 5'9". B size t!ts, TIGHT body, with a nicely packed ass and a lean body. Could see ab definition as well. Overall I would give this girl a 7.5. IMO very attractive however she has some acne which is fine but if she does herself up I could see her being almost an 8.

  • Girl C - Could be Irish or Italian. Long brown hair with pale skin. Age Unknown, 5' tall, Very small and petite with still a very nice round ass for such a small girl. She has a nice tight body as well. I would give her a 6.5 to maybe a 7 overall. I found her attractive because she really does have a nicely packed ass lol and she seemed like a cool chick and I have a thing for small girls.

The Interactions and Responses
  • Girl A - For a few months, I have noticed this girl working out but I didn't think much of it at first but after a while I started to think "man this girl is pretty hot". She caught me checking her out at times but it was left at that. Then after a while I noticed her working out close to me on many occasions. Sometimes I would go to the other end of the gym to do stretches and then i would notice her working out or doing some body exercises next to me. This went on for a while until late last week. Keep in mind that she has that "B!tch face" that says, don't even bother talking to me. So anyone would naturally assume this chick is probably a b!tch to talk to. I finally saw her going downstairs as i was coming up. I broke through the barrier and opened up. I simply slightly waived my hand at her because she had her earbuds in. I introduced myself and said "Hey, what's your name?" She lit up like a Christmas tree which her smile made her look even more beautiful. She said "Oh my name is XYZ". We talked briefly and she told me she goes to college and yadda yadda, some fluff talk. She asked for my name and the exchange was very pleasant. I've seen her again since and we again had a very nice interaction as she waved at me when i passed by. I was leaving so i stopped to talk to her for a bit. Great girl IMO. For a while I thought she would be snobbish but totally the opposite.

  • Girl B - Same deal with the few months of eye contact and glances. Also has a very snobbish look to her and she walks with a snobbish attitude as well. I opened up the same way as girl A. I slightly waved my hand at her since she had her earbuds in. She stopped and I asked for her name. She told me and then i said whats her deal, since I've noticed she poses in the mirror a lot. Come to find out she was a fitness competitor hence why she's in such great shape. The interaction was very brief with some fluff talk but I couldn't come to a conclusion if the interaction was solid or not. Either way i broke the barrier and opened up. This happened on Sunday and didn't see her at the gym yesterday so if i see her again, i'll feel it out by saying hello and see how she responds.

  • Girl C - I would notice this chick working out a lot and for the longest time i would think "Man she has such a nice ass" and she's very cute. She was always on the "run". Meaning i would see her doing her workouts and walk fast across the gym. Really giving no opportunity to talk to her but yesterday I found myself working out close to her. We never really had eye contact or any previous interaction but I figured, if i'm ever going to speak to this girl, the opportunity is right now. Again, breaking the barrier.. She was getting ready to leave after finishing her squats and I did the same with a slightly hand wave.. She takes her earbuds off and I ask for her name, She responds with a serious look "You're asking for names already?... maybe next time.." and turns around and walks off. From a distance I was thinking this girl would be warm and welcoming (Maybe I was biased from her small petite frame) anyway, I stood there for a second and then continued my own workout. Complete 180 from what I had initially thought.

Lessons from the Interactions
You are NEVER going to know what a girl is like or how she's going to respond to you unless you grab your nut sack and approach and start an interaction. Instead of wondering about that specific girl that you're attracted to, she could be a complete sweetheart or a complete B!tch. Don't waste any mental energy by wondering, just go through and break that "terror barrier". Interestingly enough, guess who was the most receptive and welcoming... the HOTTEST girl out of the three. I don't know about anyone else but for me, I have always had a tough time with girls who were 6 - 7's. I have been with a TON of Women and many of them were 8's and above. Also guys who claim, it's about your looks... isn't totally accurate because I have been called hot, sexy even gorgeous on MANY occasions while i was out at bars and/or lounges yet as you can see in example "Girl C" she gave me an attitude and essentially tried to harshly reject me yet the most beautiful was most receptive. I was assuming it would go the complete opposite. If you want to approach a Woman at the gym, you dont have to be aggressive about it (Although that is my style) but it being a Gym where you'll see the same girls all the time... just breaking the ice will do and then you'll be able to weed out those who you're wasting mental energy on.

Go do likewise Gents. Make 2022 a bold & confidence year. You'll be surprised at the Woman's responses to you. Also I want to add that If a chick is glancing at you or you notice that she's in your proximity on a consistent basis, Go in and OPEN UP. there are no guarantees but it's obviously a positive que.
 
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Barrister

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Great post @In2theGame . We used to have a lot more posts like this. The field reports are great for all of us to read and discuss.

Approaching in the gym is harder than a lot of places because some women are there just to work and not to converse. I think the best approach and similar to yours is to slowly build rapport here. If you try to go up and immediately attempt to hit on girls at the gym and get a number you can quickly gain a reputation that you don’t want. The long game is definitely the answer in this type of environment.
 

In2theGame

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Great post @In2theGame . We used to have a lot more posts like this. The field reports are great for all of us to read and discuss.

Approaching in the gym is harder than a lot of places because some women are there just to work and not to converse. I think the best approach and similar to yours is to slowly build rapport here. If you try to go up and immediately attempt to hit on girls at the gym and get a number you can quickly gain a reputation that you don’t want. The long game is definitely the answer in this type of environment.
Definitely, some environments are more "sensitive" than others but I think what holds a lot of Men back is their own internal mental assumptions or fear bad outcomes. The outcome could be completely different than what we think as above being the perfect example. Girl C harshly rejected me and was the least attractive yet Girl A being the most beautiful was the most receptive and welcoming.

Life favors the confident and bold. I highly encourage guys to approach Women in the gym by just smashing through the terror barrier and breaking the ice.
 

SW15

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Girl A - For a few months, I have noticed this girl working out but I didn't think much of it at first but after a while I started to think "man this girl is pretty hot". She caught me checking her out at times but it was left at that. Then after a while I noticed her working out close to me on many occasions. Sometimes I would go to the other end of the gym to do stretches and then i would notice her working out or doing some body exercises next to me. This went on for a while until late last week. Keep in mind that she has that "B!tch face" that says, don't even bother talking to me. So anyone would naturally assume this chick is probably a b!tch to talk to. I finally saw her going downstairs as i was coming up. I broke through the barrier and opened up. I simply slightly waived my hand at her because she had her earbuds in. I introduced myself and said "Hey, what's your name?" She lit up like a Christmas tree which her smile made her look even more beautiful. She said "Oh my name is XYZ". We talked briefly and she told me she goes to college and yadda yadda, some fluff talk. She asked for my name and the exchange was very pleasant. I've seen her again since and we again had a very nice interaction as she waved at me when i passed by. I was leaving so i stopped to talk to her for a bit. Great girl IMO. For a while I thought she would be snobbish but totally the opposite.
You needed to ask her out on a date in the first pleasant conversation.

Girl B - Same deal with the few months of eye contact and glances. Also has a very snobbish look to her and she walks with a snobbish attitude as well. I opened up the same way as girl A. I slightly waved my hand at her since she had her earbuds in. She stopped and I asked for her name. She told me and then i said whats her deal, since I've noticed she poses in the mirror a lot. Come to find out she was a fitness competitor hence why she's in such great shape. The interaction was very brief with some fluff talk but I couldn't come to a conclusion if the interaction was solid or not. Either way i broke the barrier and opened up. This happened on Sunday and didn't see her at the gym yesterday so if i see her again, i'll feel it out by saying hello and see how she responds.
You needed to ask her out on a date in the first pleasant conversation.

Girl C - she was getting ready to leave after finishing her squats and I did the same with a slightly hand wave.. She takes her earbuds off and I ask for her name, She responds with a serious look "You're asking for names already?... maybe next time.." and turns around and walks off.
She did you a favor. She seems like a complete biatch. Bye! Never acknowledge her presence again.
 

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I think what holds a lot of Men back is their own internal mental assumptions or fear bad outcomes.
Absolutely agree.

It was a huge sticking point for me and it was very challenging to overcome it. The hardest part of my personal development was to overcome myself and remain in the moment. It's easy to let the mind wander off into the future spinning fantasies, both too pessimistic and too optimistic. This is especially unproductive in the context of talking to someone you don't know.

It is difficult for many to let go of prejudice, expectations and other assumptions. As you have proven to yourself, they served no purpose to you. This is also why I find men who are intimidated by good looking women irrational.

There is only one certain way to know what's going to happen, that's to go for it and see what happens.
 

Men frequently err by talking too much. They often monopolize conversations, droning on and on about topics that bore women to tears. They think they're impressing the women when, in reality, they're depressing the women.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

oc16

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I know this is a pretty big topic with many Men on here and I recently decided I'm going to open up and introduce myself to the Women I find attractive at my gym. I started last week and I was surprised at the responses because from afar, we make assumptions about how that Woman acts, talks and carries herself. So here we go Exhibit A, B & C. (This gives me warm fuzzies because it reminds me of the old school field reports here on Sosuave from the "AFC" and "Sarging" days LOL)

  • Girl A - Latina, long black hair with tanned skin. 19/20 years old. About 5'7". I would say B size t!ts, AMAZING ass, flat stomach where you can see a hint of ab definition and IMO a very naturally beautiful face. I could tell she has no hint of makeup on so she's naturally beautiful. On my scale from 1 - 10, She's a solid 8.5. When she's done up I could see her being a 9.

  • Girl B - Could be Russian/Irish/Italian, Short Brown hair with light skin 28 Years old. About 5'9". B size t!ts, TIGHT body, with a nicely packed ass and a lean body. Could see ab definition as well. Overall I would give this girl a 7.5. IMO very attractive however she has some acne which is fine but if she does herself up I could see her being almost an 8.

  • Girl C - Could be Irish or Italian. Long brown hair with pale skin. Age Unknown, 5' tall, Very small and petite with still a very nice round ass for such a small girl. She has a nice tight body as well. I would give her a 6.5 to maybe a 7 overall. I found her attractive because she really does have a nicely packed ass lol and she seemed like a cool chick and I have a thing for small girls.

The Interactions and Responses
  • Girl A - For a few months, I have noticed this girl working out but I didn't think much of it at first but after a while I started to think "man this girl is pretty hot". She caught me checking her out at times but it was left at that. Then after a while I noticed her working out close to me on many occasions. Sometimes I would go to the other end of the gym to do stretches and then i would notice her working out or doing some body exercises next to me. This went on for a while until late last week. Keep in mind that she has that "B!tch face" that says, don't even bother talking to me. So anyone would naturally assume this chick is probably a b!tch to talk to. I finally saw her going downstairs as i was coming up. I broke through the barrier and opened up. I simply slightly waived my hand at her because she had her earbuds in. I introduced myself and said "Hey, what's your name?" She lit up like a Christmas tree which her smile made her look even more beautiful. She said "Oh my name is XYZ". We talked briefly and she told me she goes to college and yadda yadda, some fluff talk. She asked for my name and the exchange was very pleasant. I've seen her again since and we again had a very nice interaction as she waved at me when i passed by. I was leaving so i stopped to talk to her for a bit. Great girl IMO. For a while I thought she would be snobbish but totally the opposite.

  • Girl B - Same deal with the few months of eye contact and glances. Also has a very snobbish look to her and she walks with a snobbish attitude as well. I opened up the same way as girl A. I slightly waved my hand at her since she had her earbuds in. She stopped and I asked for her name. She told me and then i said whats her deal, since I've noticed she poses in the mirror a lot. Come to find out she was a fitness competitor hence why she's in such great shape. The interaction was very brief with some fluff talk but I couldn't come to a conclusion if the interaction was solid or not. Either way i broke the barrier and opened up. This happened on Sunday and didn't see her at the gym yesterday so if i see her again, i'll feel it out by saying hello and see how she responds.

  • Girl C - I would notice this chick working out a lot and for the longest time i would think "Man she has such a nice ass" and she's very cute. She was always on the "run". Meaning i would see her doing her workouts and walk fast across the gym. Really giving no opportunity to talk to her but yesterday I found myself working out close to her. We never really had eye contact or any previous interaction but I figured, if i'm ever going to speak to this girl, the opportunity is right now. Again, breaking the barrier.. She was getting ready to leave after finishing her squats and I did the same with a slightly hand wave.. She takes her earbuds off and I ask for her name, She responds with a serious look "You're asking for names already?... maybe next time.." and turns around and walks off. From a distance I was thinking this girl would be warm and welcoming (Maybe I was biased from her small petite frame) anyway, I stood there for a second and then continued my own workout. Complete 180 from what I had initially thought.

Lessons from the Interactions
You are NEVER going to know what a girl is like or how she's going to respond to you unless you grab your nut sack and approach and start an interaction. Instead of wondering about that specific girl that you're attracted to, she could be a complete sweetheart or a complete B!tch. Don't waste any mental energy by wondering, just go through and break that "terror barrier". Interestingly enough, guess who was the most receptive and welcoming... the HOTTEST girl out of the three. I don't know about anyone else but for me, I have always had a tough time with girls who were 6 - 7's. I have been with a TON of Women and many of them were 8's and above. Also guys who claim, it's about your looks... isn't totally accurate because I have been called hot, sexy even gorgeous on MANY occasions while i was out at bars and/or lounges yet as you can see in example "Girl C" she gave me an attitude and essentially tried to harshly reject me yet the most beautiful was most receptive. I was assuming it would go the complete opposite. If you want to approach a Woman at the gym, you dont have to be aggressive about it (Although that is my style) but it being a Gym where you'll see the same girls all the time... just breaking the ice will do and then you'll be able to weed out those who you're wasting mental energy on.

Go do likewise Gents. Make 2022 a bold & confidence year. You'll be surprised at the Woman's responses to you. Also I want to add that If a chick is glancing at you or you notice that she's in your proximity on a consistent basis, Go in and OPEN UP. there are no guarantees but it's obviously a positive que.
Good post and well-written with great description.

I see you are in New York city which has a plethora of hot women.

I go to LA Fitness (two of them) in Central Jersey.

I agree with what somebody said. Check for glances and more importantly the proximity rule. Also, I think it is best to take it slow. Start by making eye contact, next time....maybe eye contact and slight smile.........next time......you say hello.......next time you try and have a small conversation and so forth......

Unfortunately, my gym does not have stairs. I think having two-way stairs are ideal since it's a great way to make eye contact with a woman and gauge her interest level in you as you are passing each other. She will never suspect you are following her or "creeping" on her since the stairs are the ONLY means of transporting yourself from one location to another.

Out on the gym floor, a woman might notice if you are going out of your way to walk by her not.
 

Zimbabwe

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Very good post, exactly what I would like to see. I was so sick of all those threads about people getting kicked out of the gym for approaching.

You have done very well OP, will be watching this thread to see your continued progress.
 

In2theGame

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You needed to ask her out on a date in the first pleasant conversation.



You needed to ask her out on a date in the first pleasant conversation.



She did you a favor. She seems like a complete biatch. Bye! Never acknowledge her presence again.
Thanks SW15, I totally agree with you 1000% but honestly that wasn't my intention. I kind of ran this as an "Experiment" not only for the SoSuave community because this gym topic is a big thing here but also I like to keep my communication skills with Women fresh. I have a girlfriend although she knows I talk to other Women because they is my natural state and how I am naturally before I got with her. We're exploring me having an additional lover and she's OK with that. So most Men, once they get into an LTR, really drive their skills with Women into the ground. IMO its always a good thing to keep your communication with Women consistent. I may however get the Latina's number to have since she'll go back to College once their break will end soon.
 

In2theGame

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Absolutely agree.

It was a huge sticking point for me and it was very challenging to overcome it. The hardest part of my personal development was to overcome myself and remain in the moment. It's easy to let the mind wander off into the future spinning fantasies, both too pessimistic and too optimistic. This is especially unproductive in the context of talking to someone you don't know.

It is difficult for many to let go of prejudice, expectations and other assumptions. As you have proven to yourself, they served no purpose to you. This is also why I find men who are intimidated by good looking women irrational.

There is only one certain way to know what's going to happen, that's to go for it and see what happens.
Agreed. You're mentality is what is going to determine your success and outlook on the dating life. Many Men need to adjust their mentality first. Mentality is everything not just with Women but life in general.
 

SW15

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Thanks SW15, I totally agree with you 1000% but honestly that wasn't my intention. I kind of ran this as an "Experiment" not only for the SoSuave community because this gym topic is a big thing here but also I like to keep my communication skills with Women fresh. I have a girlfriend although she knows I talk to other Women because they is my natural state and how I am naturally before I got with her. We're exploring me having an additional lover and she's OK with that. So most Men, once they get into an LTR, really drive their skills with Women into the ground. IMO its always a good thing to keep your communication with Women consistent. I may however get the Latina's number to have since she'll go back to College once their break will end soon.
I didn't know this was an experiment and that you have a girlfriend. Girlfriends can evaporate so you still talking to others is useful. Abundance mentality. Keep the pickup skills strong.
 

Peace and Quiet

If you currently have too many women chasing you, calling you, harassing you, knocking on your door at 2 o'clock in the morning... then I have the simple solution for you.

Just read my free ebook 22 Rules for Massive Success With Women and do the opposite of what I recommend.

This will quickly drive all women away from you.

And you will be able to relax and to live your life in peace and quiet.

In2theGame

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Good post and well-written with great description.

I see you are in New York city which has a plethora of hot women.

I go to LA Fitness (two of them) in Central Jersey.

I agree with what somebody said. Check for glances and more importantly the proximity rule. Also, I think it is best to take it slow. Start by making eye contact, next time....maybe eye contact and slight smile.........next time......you say hello.......next time you try and have a small conversation and so forth......

Unfortunately, my gym does not have stairs. I think having two-way stairs are ideal since it's a great way to make eye contact with a woman and gauge her interest level in you as you are passing each other. She will never suspect you are following her or "creeping" on her since the stairs are the ONLY means of transporting yourself from one location to another.

Out on the gym floor, a woman might notice if you are going out of your way to walk by her not.
My gym used to only be one floor also but that would have not deterred me from approaching these Women. As a matter of fact, I think that Girl A saw me talking to Girl B at one point and could have influenced her to want to talk to me more lol. It's best not to think about it too much and just break through that terror barrier.
 

In2theGame

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I didn't know this was an experiment and that you have a girlfriend. Girlfriends can evaporate so you still talking to others is useful. Abundance mentality. Keep the pickup skills strong.
Bingo :up:
 

In2theGame

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Very good post, exactly what I would like to see. I was so sick of all those threads about people getting kicked out of the gym for approaching.

You have done very well OP, will be watching this thread to see your continued progress.
It's just not true. What guys are really worried about is being harshly rejected in front of other people and made to look "stupid" but as you saw, Girl C pretty much rejected me harshly straight out and the best thing to do in this case is to shrug it off. Sure, it may sting a tiny bit but that's part of the process.

Another concern for many is that if things go south, it's awkward seeing the same girl at the gym but truthfully nobody cares. It's your life and how you approach it. The girl who rejects you will soon be a distant memory. Also, just because a girl rejects you doesn't mean that you're ugly or undesirable, it could simply mean that the girl is bitter about previous Men that did her wrong, Maybe she has personal issues going on, maybe she's seeing someone else, etc. the right mentality though is to enter the interaction with positive outcomes first, not negative.

Also I agree that field reports should become more common here on SoSuave as it used to be a few years ago.
 

In2theGame

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I saw Girl A yesterday and we waived at each other. Had a brief conversation that I cut off quickly so I (and Her) can continue our workouts. I have to point out again, her ass is fvcking amazing lol. Latina's usually have nice asses... but anyway.... so Girl A continues to be pleasant and welcoming. Didn't see Girl B yesterday but I don't think that's a solid one. Plus I see her talking to some guy many times so maybe theirs something going on between them. who knows. I did run into Girl C and I could tell she saw me from afar but I didn't bother paying her no attention, especially since she gave me an attitude by me simply asking for her name. I'm wondering if she regrets her immature response/reaction towards me as Women usually have millions of things going through their heads at any given moment.

So far the conclusion is that the hottest girl (Girl A) is the most pleasant and we hit it off. This goes to show that you shouldn't go for the "low hanging fruit" because you never know who you're truly going to hit it off with. Hope some of you guys post field reports from your gym interactions. Come January 2022, the gym's will be packed and there will be plenty of opportunities!
 
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Peace and Quiet

If you currently have too many women chasing you, calling you, harassing you, knocking on your door at 2 o'clock in the morning... then I have the simple solution for you.

Just read my free ebook 22 Rules for Massive Success With Women and do the opposite of what I recommend.

This will quickly drive all women away from you.

And you will be able to relax and to live your life in peace and quiet.

Reyaj

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I saw Girl A yesterday and we waived at each other. Had a brief conversation that I cut off quickly so I (and Her) can continue our workouts. I have to point out again, her ass is fvcking amazing lol. Latina's usually have nice asses... but anyway.... so Girl A continues to be pleasant and welcoming. Didn't see Girl B yesterday but I don't think that's a solid one. Plus I see her talking to some guy many times so maybe theirs something going on between them. who knows. I did run into Girl C and I could tell she saw me from afar but I didn't bother paying her no attention, especially since she gave me an attitude by me simply asking for her name. I'm wondering if she regrets her immature response/reaction towards me as Women usually have millions of things going through their heads at any given moment.

So far the conclusion is that the hottest girl (Girl A) is the most pleasant and we hit it off. This goes to show that you shouldn't go for the "low hanging fruit" because you never know who you're truly going to hit it off with. Hope some of you guys post field reports from your gym interactions. Come January 2022, the gym's will be packed and there will be plenty of opportunities!
Any plans on trying to get her digits?
 

sangheilios

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@In2theGame I've done a handful of gym approaches, though none at all recently, and nothing came of them. This is an environment that has to be played very carefully because it can easily become a very awkward and uncomfortable situation for both parties. I personally feel that a man should be very sensitive to any signs of subtle disinterest or being led on, as continuing to pursue or engage with this person is not going to end well. I've had several experiences of literally being led on for nothing more than attention, I'm talking approaching me later after we first meet and asking me out, then flaking or rejecting later, etc.

I could cite a specific man that I've seen at my local gyms off and on over the years that approaches tons of women but is overly persistent with those that are clearly not open to it. To say the very least, it's very cringey and uncomfortable to watch lol.

On a more positive note, a lot of women are not approached much in person and if you aren't horrendous looking and have somewhat decent social skills some will at the very least entertain it. The worst that can happen is you get rejected or perhaps slightly embarrassed if she behaves like a *****. Best case scenario is you get a number, meet up outside of the gym and maybe proceed for more from there.

When I was reading your description about girl C. I could tell she wasn't going to be all that open to being spoken to, with the whole running around between exercises at the gym it's kind of obvious she is there to workout. One thing to look for is when women wear baseball caps there, I believe they do this to completely discourage men to approach her by essentially blocking out all forms of accidental eye contact.
 

EyeOnThePrize

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Hey look a post by a man coming from abundance, well written @In2theGame. The only thing I would add is that eventually there is no terror with approaches, it's just a numbers game and there's no point in taking anything personally. Sounds like you already know this, but figured I'd mention it for posterity.

@SW15
@sangheilios
1. Just so we're clear, not every interaction with a woman has to end with digits or date plans. In fact, fostering a friendly relationship with women pays immense dividends that most men never see because they're so obsessed with the short term.

2. You don't ask for anything, if you sense she's interested you say "hey I'm going to x Thursday evening, you should come if you're feeling a drink." and then mention one or two other unrelated things. If she's interested she'll respond to the sentence about the event and her coming along. If she's not interested she'll decline or only respond to something else you said. This way there's absolutely no pressure on her, and she can politely decline without saying it directly and feeling awkward.
 

At this point you probably have a woman (or multiple women) chasing you around, calling you all the time, wanting to be with you. So let's talk about how to KEEP a woman interested in you once you have her. This is BIG! There is nothing worse than getting dumped by a woman that you really, really like.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

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