Opening the car door

[zekko]

I was wondering how people here feel about opening the car door for women they are dating? I suspect I know lol, but I'll ask anyway. To be honest, I haven't done this since I was probably in my late teens. I did it with my high school girlfriend and it seemed to me like she just started to expect it and it quickly lost all meaning. And in the end she started dating some country boy, so I just dropped it completely.

The reason I ask is because I was out yesterday and there was this very pretty young lady out with some guy. He was a firefighter apparently, because he was pretty muscular and wearing a fire department t-shirt. He opened the door for her so she could get into his car, and she did a little hip wiggle thing before she got in, it seemed like she was heavily into him. The hip wiggle suggested to me that she she was very physically attracted to him. Although normally I would think the door opening routine would be considered AFC around here. Thoughts?

 

[Tictac]

It's nothing to open a car door or hold a door for a woman.

If you are so hung up on being all alpha bad boy, you are literally AFCing yourself,in the bargain.

Manners, even nearly archaic ones, are a way of carrying yourself and showing both self-respect and respect for others.

Who gives a crap what other people think? I do some of these things because I like the way I think of myself when I do them.

 

[zekko]

I will open or hold a door for anyone, man or woman. Opening the car door, though, like I said I dropped that bit over 30 years ago. Even back then it felt too much like supplicating once I realized my girlfriend at the time started to expect it - and that was long before I had ever heard of trying to be the alpha male or whatever.

I agree there's nothing wrong with good manners though.

 

[VladPatton]

If they want equal rights, they can get their own car door. Plus that was when you needed a key to open them. Now you just *bleep bloop* and both are open.

 

[backbreaker]

I stil open the car door for my wife, just how i was raised. If I drove I always did it on dates. If a girl thought I was soft becuase of it that was her stupid ass lost not mine.

Then again I'm from the south and thats not all that uncommon down there.

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear Zecco,
Like Back Breaker,I always hold doors,for anyone including Dogs LOL.... and I open car doors for women,any women...Yeah B squared puts it nicely,it's just the way you were brought up I guess.

 

[TheCWord]

I have no hang ups about opening the car door, but the reason I don't often do it is that it's inconvenient! If we are approaching the car from the passenger side then sure, but from any other angle it becomes a whole to-do to walk around the car just to open it for her, then walk all the way back to the drivers side - particularly because, as Vlad pointed out, the *bleep bloop* will take care of it.

I always, always hold open regular doors when we are entering or leaving some place. Because I'm headed in that direction anyway.

 

[Atom Smasher]

I always open the car door, but I balance that out with extremely strong frame. For me it's the sweet spot. When I'm a hard ass, she's going to remember what a gentleman I am, always doing the polite thing. It gives me a buffer against my hard assery.

 

[SgtSplacker]

I use chivalry as a kinda hot/cold thing...

 

[zekko]

Interesting, more guys here are doing this than I expected, especially some guys here that I respect. Maybe I should reconsider this and other chivalrous activities. I like what Atom Smasher and SgtSplacker said about using it as a buffer or as hot/cold.

I kind of agree with VladPatton though, now that you have keyless entry, there seems to be less need to let them in first...
I've always considered the opening the car door thing to be kind of like buying flowers, something that seems a little outdated under current circumstances.

 

[backbreaker]

what really gets a woman is if she is plate 3 of 4 and you haven't seen her in a week and she wants to get all pissy at you and you take her out to eat and here you are holding the door open for her. hamster overdrive lol. she doesn't know what to do / think. hes holding the door open for me obviously he likes me / respects me / thinks highly of me.


THAT is "game". As AS put it, balancing out different forces. hard / soft. Keep them off balance. Is he a jerk? does he have other women or is it me he really wants?


Reminds me of this date I had with this chick once. I liked her but she was a plate. she was hot because she found out i was at red lobster with another chick like 2 days earlier. She was crying and **** lol. I really did like this girl. First girl since my last real GF i actually wanted to date. But I Had other plates beucase i had to protect myself.

anyway i pick her up, I hold the door open for her and she is caught off guard by that. We get to a pretty nice restaurant, we had to wait 10 minutes to be seated and while Im there Im giving her a neck massage. She's eating this **** up lol.

so we sit down and i look at her and i tell her heather, i really like you a lot. and I meant it. For no real reason I say hey put your feet on my lap. So I take her sandals off and start giving her a foot massage while we are waiting for her food.

putty in my hand from that point on. I asked her out actually like a week earlier and she said she did not know becuase i had other girls around. later that night she asked me when are we going to date. I said i thought you didn't want to date me yet and she was like dude you gave me a foot massage lol how can i not date you lol? and she was a bad ass GF too, girl was ride or die about some backbreaker.

That is how you use stuff like opening doors. You use it to offset not to prove.

 

[backbreaker]

I don't buy flowers simply becuase they are not useful. if i want to do something random and sweet for my wife i get her a bottle of good wine to kill.

 

[zekko]

I used to buy flowers for my ex-wife, but in hindsight she didn't appreciate them, they were just a convention. So I dropped buying flowers. They remind me of the diamond business and valentine cards. Not practical. I've bought my girlfriend flowers one time in 10 years.

 

[SgtSplacker]

Interesting, more guys here are doing this than I expected, especially some guys here that I respect. Maybe I should reconsider this and other chivalrous activities. I like what Atom Smasher and SgtSplacker said about using it as a buffer or as hot/cold.

I kind of agree with VladPatton though, now that you have keyless entry, there seems to be less need to let them in first...
I've always considered the opening the car door thing to be kind of like buying flowers, something that seems a little outdated under current circumstances.

Even with keyless entry I like to open the car door. As odd as it may sound I make it a very sexual thing. I drive a truck so she needs to step up a bit to sit down, i'll totally let her see me checking her out while she's getting in. Girls always give me this selfconscious look like they think i'm getting fresh with them and it kinda puts her up on a pedestal for easy fondling. There is power behind the action of opening a door and having someone sit in a chair you want them to sit in, much less the chivalry. Then i'll watch her get situated maybe ask her if she's ready to have a good time. Ask her if she want's to stop and get some drinks before we go out, go in for a smooch then. I'll use the opportunity to set the pace for the evening and it's a perfect time to do that because she's typically pretty excited about going out and a little turned on by the chivalry. My truck is high enough that if I lean in my junk is rubbing her thigh, innocent yet provocative. And a parking lot is usually a pretty private place considering the added cover of the door. I swear this is sometimes my favorite part of the evening.

 

[abe0]

There is an interesting site (and I will leave it at that) called artofmanliness.com with an article opening door for woman.
I think its www.artofmanliness.com/2011/06/08/opening-door-for-woman/
Enjoy reading that .... Abe

 

[FairShake]

Of course I do. I was raised to do so. I also give up my seat to older women and men on the train/bus. Growing up my mom would smack me if I didn't.

Chicks dig gentlemen despite what you might hear on this board. They just like their gentlemen to be good looking/edgy/rich/funny. If the guy is a bit of an a-hole to other people but a gem to her they really love it.

I'm this big tough looking Philly guy who treats my girlfriends/fbuddies pretty well. It's part of the contrasting image.

 

[BudaBing]

Open doors always for my girl. Lots of flowers many times during year too.

If you're alpha in a relationship it's not seen as wimpy at all. Just the opposite it's seen by the women as a token of approval from an alpha male which makes her appreciate the gesture all the more.

One red rose/bundle a week is only $5. Coffee and a donut costs more than that nowadays and you score easy points every time you do it.

Which reminds me of that Men are From Mars/Venus book; If you buy a women a single red rose bundle for $5 in her mind you score 1 point. If you buy a woman a $50,000 dollar sports car in her mind you STILL score 1 point. Weird how a woman's mind works but that goes without saying.

I look at it as a low maintenance way to help keep up a relationship.

Mind you this isn't done on low quality stuck up b*tches who don't appreciate it.

Funny thing is the guys who refuse to do it make the women appreciate it all the more when they get a guy who does do it. Ironic.

 

[Slickster]

Give her the Door Test

Sums it all up right here.

The only thing that matters is the Door Test.

If she fails this test or any similar test you can dream up, dump her. You are wasting your time.

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=qyj2VNVB8qk

 

[zekko]

Gentlemen, I feel like I have been fully deceived and lied to! I've been here all these years and everyone has been telling me how women prefer jerks and women want @ssholes, and how the worst you treat them the better they like it, and how you should be a bad boy, and treat girls like your bratty little sister, and how times have changed and the old ways of the knighthood don't apply in today's world, and how you should make women work for every kindness, and don't buy them drinks, and don't be a white knight and all. Deep breath.

And all along in real life you guys have been practicing chivalry! You've been closet chivalrists! But not once did anyone say "Zekko, you should try opening doors for women, they love it". What else around here has everyone been lying about?

By the way, the door test? Lol, that used to actually mean something in my day when you actually had to manually unlock the doors. Not so much now.

 

[Atom Smasher]

Gentlemen, I feel like I have been fully deceived and lied to! I've been here all these years and everyone has been telling me how women prefer jerks and women want @ssholes, and how the worst you treat them the better they like it, and how you should be a bad boy, and treat girls like your bratty little sister, and how times have changed and the old ways of the knighthood don't apply in today's world, and how you should make women work for every kindness, and don't buy them drinks, and don't be a white knight and all. Deep breath.

And all along in real life you guys have been practicing chivalry! You've been closet chivalrists! But not once did anyone say "Zekko, you should try opening doors for women, they love it". What else around here has everyone been lying about?

By the way, the door test? Lol, that used to actually mean something in my day when you actually had to manually unlock the doors. Not so much now.

:crackup:

Good one, Z. Gave me a good chuckle.

I know you have struggled with the "bad boy" thing, but I like to think of it as having traits EVOCATIVE of the bad boy, thereby triggering her attraction to those traits, while offsetting those traits with "great guy" traits, which trigger other positive feelings in her.

The key concept here is "evocative".

There is something about opening the car door that affects women deeply. It's the umbrella move that covers a multitude of sins. It's "the one" that gets them. You don't have to do the "pull the chair out" thing in the restaurant, or any other chivalrous acts, but the car door thing is golden.

You're right about the car door test. It has become obsolete. In fact, we need to come up with a replacement.