Opening Sets At Parties/Clubs

[SinJester]

I've got a question about opening sets. When your at a party and you look around its going to be extremely rare to see anyone by themselves. The problem is when you go to open a set the people in the set will almost always be engaging in their own conversation. How do you deal with that? Is it just expected to go in, interupt and use your opener?

Also all the openers, routines and whatever that I've came across seem fine. There's just one problem. I live in a small town. Most people already know me and have already formed an opinion. A lot of openers will probably seem out of character. Even with opening new people pretty soon I will have ran out of people I don't know. Could this be a problem? Isn't exactly a favourable scenario where I can sarge people I don't know, knowing that I will probably never see them again if I stuff up. If I fail then that person will be there to remind me at every other party I go to. But then again, I already have some social proof.

Perhaps I'm just setting up obstacles for myself. I really want to try this stuff out. Maybe I'll just have to tailor it for myself.

 

[thehexman]

Well, perhaps I can help you by telling you my own experience: I live in a small town too. Last night we went to the school ball, which actually is prom and homecoming rolled into one, and I knew almost everybody there. But guess what? Because they hadn't seen me for at least a year, almost everybody had a better opinion of me. That's because I had ruined my reputation (which I kind of read between the lines in your post) and then left to become ... a rare commodity!

Also, the girls were all over me as I am now a college student and these 18 yo were just waiting for thehexman to give them the treatment.

 

[SinJester]

I have't really ruined my reputation. I've just messed up with too many girls for my liking. Small town, word gets around, slimmer pickings, many years of being an AFC under my belt. I don't care and it doesn't worry me, but it is there. I did seriously have a rep for being a pimp for a real short while, I kind of burnt out and people quickly dragged me down (they didn't like me being a pimp while they were gettung nothing).

I still need to work on inner game I know. I care too much what people think still. But my friends don't help at all. One mate gives me sh!t for hitting on girls, tells me to get a real relationship if I hook up, tells me they aren't that hot, pays me out for getting wiht younger girls. You know, the whole 'oh look at me I'm heaps insecure thing'. Lots of guys are like that but its a downer when its one of your best mates. So yeah, I'm a little cautions and just can't find the ability to let go and sarge everything. I am getting a LOT better though.

Started rambling there. Still need an answer

 

[THE PHARAOH]

1. As far as interrupting, there is no such thing. You will ALWAYS be "interrupting" but they don't care, especially if its not TOTALLY boring.

2. For small town, I don't know if its REALLY small. I mean I live in Charleston, South Carolina and its somewhat small but I use the same routines all the time and haven't been called on yet. I probly wouldn't worry about this, but you should learn ****y Funny because it is an art and you will be able to make up your own on the fly over time. If you're still extremely worried, I wouldn't learn MM. I would learn Juggler.

3. BUT there are a few things to learn no matter what method you do. THESE things will make you successfull, not the words or routines:
1. Posture/Bodylanguage/Walk
2. Eye Contact
3. Talking Slowly
4. Kino

 

[Lust]

I've got a question about opening sets. When your at a party and you look around its going to be extremely rare to see anyone by themselves. The problem is when you go to open a set the people in the set will almost always be engaging in their own conversation. How do you deal with that? Is it just expected to go in, interupt and use your opener?

Also all the openers, routines and whatever that I've came across seem fine. There's just one problem. I live in a small town. Most people already know me and have already formed an opinion. A lot of openers will probably seem out of character. Even with opening new people pretty soon I will have ran out of people I don't know. Could this be a problem? Isn't exactly a favourable scenario where I can sarge people I don't know, knowing that I will probably never see them again if I stuff up. If I fail then that person will be there to remind me at every other party I go to. But then again, I already have some social proof.

Perhaps I'm just setting up obstacles for myself. I really want to try this stuff out. Maybe I'll just have to tailor it for myself.

Don't use openers that seem incongruent with your character. Or better yet, don't use routines at all. Just take the time and effort to learn social dynamics so that you don't need lines to attract women, you'll know instinctively what to say or do.

 

[MooseGod]

Just wander over by them with your group of buddies until you overhear part of the conversation you can butt in on. It's that easy.

 

[SinJester]

as interrupting, there is no such thing. You will ALWAYS be "interrupting" but they don't care, especially if its not TOTALLY boring.

That's why I was thinking of using openers. Otherwise it seems just like 'Hey, who are you? Having a good time?' *yawn*

small town, I don't know if its REALLY small. I mean I live in Charleston, South Carolina and its somewhat small but I use the same routines all the time and haven't been called on yet. I probly wouldn't worry about this, but you should learn ****y Funny because it is an art and you will be able to make up your own on the fly over time. If you're still extremely worried, I wouldn't learn MM. I would learn Juggler.

Small? Well I think where I live is about 12,000 people. I think I'm pretty good with ****y funny because of my background here and with David D. I'm looking into jugglers stuff, but it seems harder to implement than MM. Mostly what I've learnt so far that I don't know before was to use statements not questions. The problem is now I'm probably not too inetresting and eventually get awkward silences. I just liked MM because it actuallty tells you what to do rather than just give you theories to try and work on.

there are a few things to learn no matter what method you do. THESE things will make you successfull, not the words or routines:
1. Posture/Bodylanguage/Walk
2. Eye Contact
3. Talking Slowly
4. Kino

Not sure about my posture, body language or walk. I'm concious of it when I'm out and try to maintain good body language. Eye contact is probably a non-issue for me, although maybe I need to re-work on it as I think my skills have faded. Just recently I have decided to talk slower, something I wasn't aware of ebfore and I probably talk to fast. I think my kino is great though. I've been working on that for a decent amount of time now, helped a lot with the times I scored. But thanks, I'll trying working on that.

Don't use openers that seem incongruent with your character. Or better yet, don't use routines at all. Just take the time and effort to learn social dynamics so that you don't need lines to attract women, you'll know instinctively what to say or do.

Routines seem like a good place to sart, training wheels if you will, untill you work up the skills to wing it. I can see openers always being handy. You say take the time to learn social dynamics, but what steps do you take to learn?

Just wander over by them with your group of buddies until you overhear part of the conversation you can butt in on. It's that easy.

Seems fair enough. Unless they are talking about something I have no knowledge about (people I don't know etc.). So just go up "hey you guys talking about flying monkeys (whatever)"?

 

[SinJester]

Shouldn't have made such a long reply, my question didn't get answered. Anyway I answered my own question. 'People act how you expect them to act'. So just expect them to be friendly and welcoming, if they aren't it isnt a big deal.

"No girl wakes up and thinks to herself 'I hope I don't get swept off my feet today'"