Opening Large Groups...A few seem angered?

[h2o]

I’ve been here long enough, and I know that not everyone will like you, etc. I’ve become fairly outgoing and I meet new people everyday.

A few times, I’ve come across a group…and when I introduce myself, certain people in the group will not introduce themselves. They seem taken aback or something. I’m not insecure or anything, and I am sure this is their problem, not mine. However, should I call them out on it? And try to advise them to be more open, sociable, etc?

For example, tonight, I went down to chill at a student lounge, and there were like three girls and two guys there, just sitting/laying on couches. I just smiled at one of the girls, we said “hey” to each other, and she motioned me to sit next to her…just friendly terms.

I didn’t know any of them, but I just started asking if they were going to watch the game tonight, etc. The two guys didn’t seem like sports buffs, and one of them wouldn’t even say anything to me…just looked at me like he didn’t like me (why, I have no clue). So, then, we’re just watching some show, and before it starts, I’m like, btw guys, “my name is h2o” and make eye contact with one of the guys…the other one doesn’t look, and I also do the same with the girl who is sitting beside me. She turns to me and tells me her name, and I say nice to meet you guys… the one dude just stares at me like I killed someone. Is it that they dislike people with confidence? I felt like he was “mean-mugging” me by just glaring and not saying anything. Later the dude makes a comment out loud about how I appear to be pissed off? What? I just ignored it like I didn’t hear him.

My question: Do you guys who approach large groups run into situations like this? Like, people seeming like they hate you when they don’t even know you yet…maybe they feel violated that I approached them, I don’t know …is there anyway to get around this and make them feel more comfortable? I mean, I smile, I’m fvcking relaxed as can be…

 

[Stag]

Actually speaking to the whole group is not really necesary. Go to the girl you like, and then maybe say arent u going to introduce me to your friends, and then say hi and go back to her. Group tactics are largely waste of time, because what better tactic then ignore everyone nd pay all attention to her. If shes into you nobody will disrupt you and if they try give them a mean look.
Dont befriend their entire group, the girls and the guys will usually get jealous, but if you speak to thegirl only and then even remove her from group it will not be a problem.

 

[Hoppy]

If you completly ignore the group you're likely to get ****blocked by them later. I'd recomend you at least intoduce yourself while smiling, then concentrate on your target.
I always make the mistake of spending equal time talking to each person. My intensions become unclear.


If i'm not in the mood to talk and you aproach me and chat about something i'm not interested in, like sports, i'll blow you off just like they did. Not everyone is as social as you.

 

[OneArmDeeJay]

My guess the dude was just up set cause he saw you smiled at one of the girls, and said “hey” to each other, and she motioned me to sit next to her. And quite possiably he was either trying to game them or on a little date. Who knows...

I've came into situation like that. I found out that some people feel threaten by a male stranger presences especially if they themselfs were trying to game the chicks that are with them. Or some people clam up when a stranger comes up and starts talking. Do to lack of social skills and likes being in their compfort zone and what have you makes them unfriendly and giving off the impression they don't like you. Then when they do get use to you they edventually warm up to ya. And then of course their are those who are just don't like strangers.

What I do is just be friendly to everyone and not just the checks. Kinda treat it like the hot chick with a c@ck blocker ugly friend. Treat everyone nice and make everyone laugh and what not and try to get a feel of the group. Then get the number and get out.

I think overall you handle the situation good.

 

[h2o]

Originally posted by OneArmDeeJay
My guess the dude was just up set cause he saw you smiled at one of the girls, and said “hey” to each other, and she motioned me to sit next to her. And quite possiably he was either trying to game them or on a little date. Who knows...

I've came into situation like that. I found out that some people feel threaten by a male stranger presences especially if they themselfs were trying to game the chicks that are with them. Or some people clam up when a stranger comes up and starts talking. Do to lack of social skills and likes being in their compfort zone and what have you makes them unfriendly and giving off the impression they don't like you. Then when they do get use to you they edventually warm up to ya. And then of course their are those who are just don't like strangers.

What I do is just be friendly to everyone and not just the checks. Kinda treat it like the hot chick with a c@ck blocker ugly friend. Treat everyone nice and make everyone laugh and what not and try to get a feel of the group. Then get the number and get out.

I think overall you handle the situation good.

You understood me best. Thing is, I wasn't really doing an "approach" or trying to "pickup" or any of that. I guess the title was misleading. I just try to befriend everyone and talk to everyone, just like you say OADJ. The girl was an Hb7 at best, I didn't even have picking her up on my mind. But your response makes sense...although I guess there's not much new, I'll just keep doing what I'm doing.

I guess it was just a bit standoffish when I introduced myself and the girl was the only one to say her name back...and I said "nice to meet you guys." I was actually about to laugh outloud. :crackup:

 

[thefonz]

I think I heard someone (I wanna say quest) who gave a really good tip on how to deal with hostile people in groups......you walk up a approach the group and say hi blah blah blah.....just keep fluffing for a little and ask for the main appoachee's name, then when he/she asks for your name just say "My name's fonz but I only give out my name to people I like." then go around and give your name to everyone and when you get to the hostile person say...."hi my names Eric". It should get a laugh out of everybody but don't do it if the guy is clearly big/a fighter type......it works great for groups of girls

 

[h2o]

Originally posted by thefonz
I think I heard someone (I wanna say quest) who gave a really good tip on how to deal with hostile people in groups......you walk up a approach the group and say hi blah blah blah.....just keep fluffing for a little and ask for the main appoachee's name, then when he/she asks for your name just say "My name's fonz but I only give out my name to people I like." then go around and give your name to everyone and when you get to the hostile person say...."hi my names Eric". It should get a laugh out of everybody but don't do it if the guy is clearly big/a fighter type......it works great for groups of girls

Haha, I like that tip...I'll try something like that next time. I'm going to have to think up an alternative nickname for myself though. hmm...

 

[pimpfromdayone]

The answer is obvious. The guys in the group were jealous and felt threatened that you had access to "their" women. Primitive, AFC male bullshi-t. I have approached groups before with guys in them (big guys too) and while I am talking to the girls and being the center of attention, those guys give me a look like they want to kill me. I never even bother to introduce myself to them if they aren't involved in the convo or anything. I am there for one thing: talking to girls, and I don't give a fu-ck WHAT those dumbass guys think. If they are boyfriends, I still don't care, because my method involves flirting and then getting #'s and most of the time I get them like I am just their "friend" (I don't become a friend mind you). If they have a bf then, they'll tell me on the phone or when I meet them next. There is nothing I hate more than guys who stand around and hang out with girls all the time but never get any. They are given a PERFECT opportunity to hook up with those girls, but they would rather just hang out with them, dic-ks in hands, and pointlessly guard them from other guys that hit on them. I'm not saying all guys who hang out with girls are like this, but a lot of them are, and I say fuc-k them, they're not even worth being friends with. When it comes down to it, the girl will decide for herself if she likes you or not, not them. Friends influence girls, but most of those friends that do this are GIRLS not guys. If a girl's friends likes you, that girl is more likely to like you, funny how that works huh? It is like competition. Coc-kblocking can occur, but I don't see what those guys could do if she was already attracted to you. There best and final effort they can make is to be hostile when you approach and try to discourage you so you go away. I would also like to point out that a majority of the guys are probably just not that social and don't care to meet any new people. Most people have a limited social circle and won't be as skilled socially as you are. Ignore those guys if they are being stupid, or antisocial, and focus on the girls.

 

[Zonder]

Props to you for approaching grouops like that. I only approach groups when I've got a pretty good excuse/opportunity that comes naturally.

But often when I'm in a group with a hottie or two, one of those AMOG guys comes along and starts patronizing and borderline insulting the guys in the group with his " techniques". If you let him do what he wants he'll run his routines to make himself better than the guys and he's a real pain to get rid of. This happens more often than you think.

If I'm working on one of the chicks I might tell him off pretty rudely. This saves a lot of troupble. If I'm not working on them I don't care so I take it in stride.

My point is, maybe the guy was "working" on one of the chick but didn't know how to get rid of you so he just stared and made a fool of himself. If you want to compete with other guys for a chick you must EXPECT adversity and know how to handle it.

 

[pimpfromdayone]

This has been beat into the ground and is the same situation as if a guy hits on your gf (assuming he didn't know she was taken).... you use the power of ignoring someone. If your girl (or one you're working on) sees that you don't care if other guys approach her and no amount of flirting with other guys will affect you, she will respect you a lot more than if you get all protective and/or jealous. Sure, you may get mad when guys hit on the girl, but what the fu-ck exactly were YOU doing when YOU found her?! exactly. If I'm in a group with hot girls and some guys (usually 1 or 2 wearing a backwards hat or popped collar or some other tryhard shi-t) come up to her and start talking to her (no matter how pitiful the "game" is they spit at her), I let them do their thing and shut my dam-n mouth unless I have something friendly to say. I don't try to embarass them in front of the girls, even though I could, because I am not like that. I am a small guy and if someone were to try to embarass me, I would either decide it's not worth the trouble or I would talk back to them and destroy every ounce of respect those women once had for them. If they try to fight, I don't know what I would do, but 2 or 3 on 1 is not really fair now is it? And that's exactly what those fuc-kers would do. I have considered carrying around a "butterfly" knife or something like that to whip out if people try to fu-ck with me or steal from my car (happens all the time on campus). Yes, if they somehow KNEW she was my gf, then it would be disrespectful, but otherwise, it's not their fault. Most guys are just pathetic at this game anyways so there is very little risk of somehow losing her. They are pathetic to the point where they can't ever approach any one by themselves so they almost ALWAYS have another guy with them, so do you really think the girl is gonna respect them? I don't think so.

 

[Bible_Belt]

The knife will just get you in trouble. It's not worth it.

 

[SlaterT]

I have considered carrying around a "butterfly" knife or something like that to whip out if people try to fu-ck with me [/B]

Thats a bit wierd the knife thing. Just win over the group. Learn group dynamics better, amogging if it comes down to it and bypassing obstacles. Also remember some people are scared, jealous or rude.

 

[pimpfromdayone]

You're right, that is a bad idea. I seriously doubt anyone would ever try to fight me anyway.... I have never even been in a fist-fight, I guess I am just that likeable.... and correction: MOST people are either scared, jealous, or rude, haha.

 

[h2o]

Originally posted by pimpfromdayone
The answer is obvious. The guys in the group were jealous and felt threatened that you had access to "their" women. Primitive, AFC male bullshi-t. I have approached groups before with guys in them (big guys too) and while I am talking to the girls and being the center of attention, those guys give me a look like they want to kill me. I never even bother to introduce myself to them if they aren't involved in the convo or anything. I am there for one thing: talking to girls, and I don't give a fu-ck WHAT those dumbass guys think. If they are boyfriends, I still don't care, because my method involves flirting and then getting #'s and most of the time I get them like I am just their "friend" (I don't become a friend mind you). If they have a bf then, they'll tell me on the phone or when I meet them next. There is nothing I hate more than guys who stand around and hang out with girls all the time but never get any. They are given a PERFECT opportunity to hook up with those girls, but they would rather just hang out with them, dic-ks in hands, and pointlessly guard them from other guys that hit on them. I'm not saying all guys who hang out with girls are like this, but a lot of them are, and I say fuc-k them, they're not even worth being friends with. When it comes down to it, the girl will decide for herself if she likes you or not, not them. Friends influence girls, but most of those friends that do this are GIRLS not guys. If a girl's friends likes you, that girl is more likely to like you, funny how that works huh? It is like competition. Coc-kblocking can occur, but I don't see what those guys could do if she was already attracted to you. There best and final effort they can make is to be hostile when you approach and try to discourage you so you go away. I would also like to point out that a majority of the guys are probably just not that social and don't care to meet any new people. Most people have a limited social circle and won't be as skilled socially as you are. Ignore those guys if they are being stupid, or antisocial, and focus on the girls.

Originally posted by Zonder
Props to you for approaching grouops like that. I only approach groups when I've got a pretty good excuse/opportunity that comes naturally.

But often when I'm in a group with a hottie or two, one of those AMOG guys comes along and starts patronizing and borderline insulting the guys in the group with his " techniques". If you let him do what he wants he'll run his routines to make himself better than the guys and he's a real pain to get rid of. This happens more often than you think.

If I'm working on one of the chicks I might tell him off pretty rudely. This saves a lot of troupble. If I'm not working on them I don't care so I take it in stride.

My point is, maybe the guy was "working" on one of the chick but didn't know how to get rid of you so he just stared and made a fool of himself. If you want to compete with other guys for a chick you must EXPECT adversity and know how to handle it.

I guess that since I was being "friendly," I wasn't exactly expecting any adversity/confrontation. Next time around, I will expect it and be more prepared for it. I'll be keeping what you said in mind...Thanks for the advice, you both seem on point.

 

[Zonder]

Originally posted by pimpfromdayone
You're right, that is a bad idea. I seriously doubt anyone would ever try to fight me anyway.... I have never even been in a fist-fight, I guess I am just that likeable.... and correction: MOST people are either scared, jealous, or rude, haha.

Yeah, even if you carry one you'll never get to use it anyway. I do know where you're coming from though.

You can be just chatting up a chick and some ugly mofo shows up from nowhere and starts running his routines. By routines I mean stuff some losers without a life spent hours working on. They are designed to negate the chick's good feelings for you and create good feelings for him. It usually doesn't work completely, but you have about a second to come up with something that would newtralize the attack that he and his loser friends spent hunderds of hours designing. It sure makes you wanna pull a weapon on him.

In cases like that I usually just tell the guy off right away. The group is with you and will support you. He doesn't even have time to start his gimmicks, and you still apprear more masculine to the chicks. Maybe a bit silly, but masculinity always trumps that anyway.

I wasn't exactly expecting any adversity/confrontation. Next time around, I will expect it and be more prepared for it.

You actually did great, the guy left himself out of the main convo, which made him lose points in everybody's eyes and pretty much newtralized himself. There are some jerks who tell you to **** off as soon as you try to approach, and there's nothing you can do about it. No matter how much of a losers they are, they are IN the group, and you are a stranger at least until a few minutes of convo have passed.

The chick was still interested in you, so it was practically the perfect case scenario; you should have just gotten the digits and ejected. This kind of situation is something 99% of people who've read your post can only dream of. And then you post here to ask whet you did wrong!

Reminds me of something from Swingers. "You're money. You're so money and you don't even realize it."