Open Car Doors, or NOT??

[Player_Supreme]

Originally posted by vicki
Here's a quandry for guys. Do you open her door or not? On every date? After youre in a relationship?

If you want to make an impression, do it!!!!

1. I do say thank you when a woman opens MY door.

2. I do not open car doors for women on 99% of the occasions. I'm not hurting for love in my life.

3. I do have one friend who is from the South and she does make comments about "why can't you be a gentleman" but she also says comments like "your such a man" and she has been on my team for over a year.

4. I was raised during the sexual revolution days. Women wanted their independance and opening doors was considered a no no...women said "they could do it themselves" and so I let them. And there are a ton of women still like this today so don't bother with it's a different day.

5. Nice guys finish last and they don't get laid. So should I be a nice guy and open doors and put down my coat over puddles and hope to one day be allowed to rub her feet while she complains about the real man who is breaking her heart.... or should I just be myself and get all the ***** that I want.

 

[DreamerZZ35]

With all due respect.... the onlything you said that I agree with is... "or should I just be myself and get all the ***** I can get"

If body language is 93% of communication (and it is.) then its not so much what you do or dont, rather it is what you are SAYING when you are doing something.

For one person doing something out of a position of weakness, it communicates Im not a man. For another person doing the very same thing from a position of strength communicates that you are in control, you are making decisions and she is to follow your lead.

Same activity, VASTLY different things are being communicated....

 

[Superman X]

I'm going to respond to the thread and not to the inevitable useless flaming on it (idiot *cough*Superman X *cough*).

It's not a big thing, and you can be successful either way. In some cultures in some places for some people, it could work well. But for me, in my high school in Massachusetts, it would seem ridiculous. I've never once seen a student in my school opening a door for a girl, car or otherwise, and not making some kind of joke of it, like letting one girl go by, then walking through and holding it shut so then next one can't get through.

Opening car doors would make me feel like a chaffeur. I am eminently not chivalrous, and I think the whole concept of chivalry is ridiculous. If you wouldn't do it for a guy or a fat chick, why do it for a hot chick? And if any of you were planning on telling me that you hold doors open and pay for things for fat, slobbering warpigs as well as hot chicks, I laugh in advance. You don't do it out of respect for her sex, you do it out respect for her hotness and out of the hope it will earn you some brownie points with her.

But once again, it's so small a manifestation of chivalry that it doesn't matter significantly either way. It the accumulation of treaing hot girls "specially" (doing favors for her, respecting her more than a guy, and especially buying her things) which end up sinking you.

-Dan

 

[TooColdUlrick]

Originally posted by Superman X
Opening doors, as well as all other forms of chivalry, is crap. Why? It's supplicating. It's saying that you have to give her special treatment to make up for you lack of sexual value. Women are biologically incapable of being attracted to a guy who supplicates.

-Dan

this is a dumb AFC attitude.

women do not want a man who is ALWAYS a jerk (bad boy).

women do not want a man who is ALWAYS a pvssy either.

women want a MAN that has a good balance between the two. think James Bond, if you're having trouble grasping the concept. at least this is true for the women that you probably want to hook up with.

it's called being POLITE. it doesn't have ANYTHING to do with women.

here's a litmus test to keep in mind:

are YOU the type of guy that she would LOVE to bring home to meet the parents? this is THE test. it should be for you as well.

if she is worth pursuing, and she is over lets say 25ish, and she is somewhat sophisticated, you must show her that you KNOW WHEN TO BE POLITE and KNOW WHEN NOT TO.

 

[drixsa]

Originally posted by Superman X
I'm going to respond to the thread and not to the inevitable useless flaming on it (idiot *cough*Superman X *cough*).

It's not a big thing, and you can be successful either way. In some cultures in some places for some people, it could work well. But for me, in my high school in Massachusetts, it would seem ridiculous. I've never once seen a student in my school opening a door for a girl, car or otherwise, and not making some kind of joke of it, like letting one girl go by, then walking through and holding it shut so then next one can't get through.

Opening car doors would make me feel like a chaffeur. I am eminently not chivalrous, and I think the whole concept of chivalry is ridiculous. If you wouldn't do it for a guy or a fat chick, why do it for a hot chick? And if any of you were planning on telling me that you hold doors open and pay for things for fat, slobbering warpigs as well as hot chicks, I laugh in advance. You don't do it out of respect for her sex, you do it out respect for her hotness and out of the hope it will earn you some brownie points with her.

But once again, it's so small a manifestation of chivalry that it doesn't matter significantly either way. It the accumulation of treaing hot girls "specially" (doing favors for her, respecting her more than a guy, and especially buying her things) which end up sinking you.

-Dan

listen as i said in my above post it really won't affect your game but there are things more important than that.

yes i hold open doors for most people but i do not just stand there waiting. When there are people by me i will wait the extra 1/2 second to hold the door open for them whether its a male, female, an old person, attractive person, ugly person, or a little person most of the time i don't even look who i am holding the door for.

your AFC attitude is fvcking you up though because you focus only on the hot female instead of everyone.

oh and high school really is not the place to set your standards at, lotta boys thinking they are men there assuming they know everything

 

[DEKKA]

Originally posted by Superman X
Opening doors, as well as all other forms of chivalry, is crap. Why? It's supplicating. It's saying that you have to give her special treatment to make up for you lack of sexual value. Women are biologically incapable of being attracted to a guy who supplicates.

-Dan

answers like this just illustrate the wasteland these forums have devolved into.

you know what i smell here?

FEAR.

you're afraid that being a gentlemen might be seen as "supplication".

"supplication" is changing who you are to fit a womans mold, living in her world instead of bringing her into yours, giving up your ideals for her, and losing your male identity to become an androgynous piece of crap just cuz you think that's what she wants.

you can be a classy male and still retain your manhood, in fact, you can enhance it. you can open every door, pull out every chair, take off every coat, and not only retain your manhood and identity but actually increase it.

chivalry, you must understand, is a hold-over from the days when men were more "protector" types. back when this stuff was commonplace the guys were generally in charge of things and women knew their place. this was before the feminist movement and all that equality bullsh!t. so, in todays world you have to make a choice. if you are one of those straight-down-the-middle equality buffs than you shouldn't be chivalrous because chivalrous acts exemplify your superiority in a way(like when you pay for a meal you are saying that you are the provider). if you do believe in maintaining your control in the relationship, and believe in equal but DIFFERENT roles of male and female than you should have no problems with chivalry.

as for personal experiences, ive opened doors and not opened doors and always got good responses from opening them, but, i understand when it is to be done and when it isn't. you have to judge the woman. i can't give you the ability to decern which women you should and shouldnt exhibit this kind of thing for. basically a woman has to deserve having her door opened, want to submit to your leadership and "help" (because thats what it is, help), and be able to understand the dynamics of class. as an example, the more humble and old school the woman, or the more "motherly" she was, the more inclined i'd be to open her door.

-J

 

[AFK Protector]

Yea, I agree with dekka. I'm not saying I'm not for all that equality stuff (I cook, do laundry, clean, etc.), but I know when its just POLITE for me to do something for a woman. If you see a woman trying to lift a heavy box, are you gonna let her do it? HELL NO. She might break her back or something. Even if she's some ultrafeminist, I'll do it, take the ****, and leave. Hell. Flame me all you want. I'm not changing my beliefs on how to treat women just because some Bible goes against me. I have my own Bible. It's called the Book of Common Sense and Morals. ::braces for impact::

 

[DJmonster]

What would James Bond do?

He'd open the door. Nothing AFC about it.

I think David D has it right in his DBYD e-book. He said something like 'always treat a women very good with your actions, but bust on her with your words'

As long as you're being confident and c & f, I think its a good thing to do. I still do it with my current LTR of 2 1/2 months, and she always appreciates it. I don't think chivalry is very common these days, so that's another reason why I do it as much as I can. I treat her well, and she treats me very well.

 

[Bonhomme]

To quote Curly of the Three Stooges ...

soitanly!

 

[squirrels]

Re: newbie question

Originally posted by ChesterB
Now let me ask a newbie question:
How do you open building doors for women properly?
If the door opens towards the outside it's clear: I pull the door open, then hold it, until she passed into the building.
But what if the door opens towards the inside (as do most building doors)?
Do I enter the building and hold the door from there or do I stand in the door frame until she passed (can be difficult, if the door is narrow)?

It should be automatic and as inconspicuous as possible. If possible, line it up so you're walking side by side, but YOU are on the side with the hinges, so you can reach across and open naturally and she'll just slip in. (be this close to her anyway...don't be afraid of proximity)

If you sit there and HOLD the door, or if you run up and make a big deal of making sure the door's open, it's like you're making an effort to say "I am holding the door for you, and I want you to acknowledge that." THAT'S where your "weak and supplicating" comes in.

Chivalry is NOT dead, as I found out recently. It often WILL impress a woman (and an utter lack of it will put you at the bottom of her list). But it should be done as cleanly and transparently as possible. You're not doing it in the hopes that she'll notice. You're doing it because your parents raised you with some couth. If she notices, great. If she doesn't, great. It's NO BIG DEAL to you.