NOTE: I realize that this is one LOOOONG mother! I'm sorry if the length is a bit unsettling to you, but I felt that everything I said was relevant.
My parents have always been extremely protective of me to the point that I barely ever leave the house.
For a long time, my mom had an iron defficiency that made her sleepy all the time. Most of my friends live 10-15 miles away from me, so she was my only ride, so I almost always stayed home on the weekends playing video games.
When she did take me out, she was always in a pissy negative mood, and it affected me. She never wanted to take me anywhere, so when she did, she saw herself doing me a BIG favor. When I arrived at the destination (a party or whatever), I'd be really shaken up and tense because of my mom. Naturally, I wanted to get my driver's license so that I wouldn't have to depend on her-- strange thing though... I feel slightly guilty about becoming independent of her because she is a stay-at-home mom and I don't want to make her feel useless. I really think a job would have been good for her. As it is, she sits at home and watches sitcom reruns, and it absolutely kills me to see her live her days out like this. I mean, fvck, she isn't 70, she's 44.
Anyway, she has taken vitamins to correct her iron defficiency. I can't totally be mad at her for not taking me out earlier, because her lethargy wasn't her fault.
But her attitude IS her fault. I will admit that my family situation has taken a turn for the worse. My dad has held a local state office for 4 terms-- he was running for his 5th term this year and lost. Then a few days after that, my brother was arrested for possession and intent to sell marijuana and cocaine, not to mention he had been abusing both for a year and a 1/2 in his girlfriend's apartment.
Instead of looking at the bright side of our situation (my dad has more time at home and my brother IS alive and won't be doing serious prison time), my parents view themselves as victims. I feel like I should be the fvcking head of the household. Everybody's despairing and going "woe is me" but I learned the hard way that pity-parties will only bring you down more than you are.
I just got my driver's license yesterday after 3 months of begging my parents to let me get it. I never told my friends about my family situation, so they don't understand why it took me so long to get my license.
Now that I have it, I can only drive around town and run small errands. I STILL don't have a ride to my friends even though I have a license. I pleaded with my mom to let me drive to school tomorrow, but she told me that she was going to be out of town tomorrow with my aunt and my grandma.
She said that she wanted to be here in case I got in a wreck. But my dad would be here! Besides that, I am a responsible driver, but she treats me like I'm 12 years old!!
Finally she said that I could drive to school, but she called off her plans with my grandma (whom I love dearly) and my aunt. She cited me as the reason why she did not want to go. I wanted my grandma to have a good time (today is my grandfather's birthday),so I conceeded and told my mom that I could wait to drive to school, but she insisted on calling off the plans.
I can sympathize with my parents b/c they HAVE gone through a lot of sh!t, but so have I-- the difference is that I keep my cool and persevere while they despair and lose control of their emotions. My dad just trudges around the house with his head down. He and my brother blame me for the pissy mood my mom is in. BUT I DIDN'T MAKE HER FEEL THAT WAY!! SHE CHOSE TO BE NEGATIVE AND PISS AND MOAN.
I can't take it anymore, guys. I see my friends--some of them a year younger than me-- telling their parents that they're going out and that they'll be back later. Their parents say "Ok, have fun! Be back before 12" and off they go.
But no. Because my parents are both AFC, they completely ruin my social life and don't give me the respect I deserve.
I am 17 years old now. Not 12. I do not follow orders blindly like I did when I was younger. I need some fvcking reasons why I should do what they want, and "Because I said so!" is NOT A REASON.
Guys, what I'm feeling is hard to describe. I feel resentment toward my parents for not granting me the freedom that I deserve, pity at the guilt that they feel (my mom has been known to break down crying and apologize for being a "bad parent"), distance from my dad (who prefers angry shouting and mean faces to logic, reason, and calmness), and concern for my brother...
The main role model in my life is my grandfather, who died of cancer a year ago. My grandmother is a wonderful woman as well, but the death of her husband leaves her in a near-constant state of depression and nostalgia.
I feel like no one in my family understands me. Please help me guys. You are the only ones I have to turn to. Thanks, Devin
My parents have always been extremely protective of me to the point that I barely ever leave the house.
For a long time, my mom had an iron defficiency that made her sleepy all the time. Most of my friends live 10-15 miles away from me, so she was my only ride, so I almost always stayed home on the weekends playing video games.
When she did take me out, she was always in a pissy negative mood, and it affected me. She never wanted to take me anywhere, so when she did, she saw herself doing me a BIG favor. When I arrived at the destination (a party or whatever), I'd be really shaken up and tense because of my mom. Naturally, I wanted to get my driver's license so that I wouldn't have to depend on her-- strange thing though... I feel slightly guilty about becoming independent of her because she is a stay-at-home mom and I don't want to make her feel useless. I really think a job would have been good for her. As it is, she sits at home and watches sitcom reruns, and it absolutely kills me to see her live her days out like this. I mean, fvck, she isn't 70, she's 44.
Anyway, she has taken vitamins to correct her iron defficiency. I can't totally be mad at her for not taking me out earlier, because her lethargy wasn't her fault.
But her attitude IS her fault. I will admit that my family situation has taken a turn for the worse. My dad has held a local state office for 4 terms-- he was running for his 5th term this year and lost. Then a few days after that, my brother was arrested for possession and intent to sell marijuana and cocaine, not to mention he had been abusing both for a year and a 1/2 in his girlfriend's apartment.
Instead of looking at the bright side of our situation (my dad has more time at home and my brother IS alive and won't be doing serious prison time), my parents view themselves as victims. I feel like I should be the fvcking head of the household. Everybody's despairing and going "woe is me" but I learned the hard way that pity-parties will only bring you down more than you are.
I just got my driver's license yesterday after 3 months of begging my parents to let me get it. I never told my friends about my family situation, so they don't understand why it took me so long to get my license.
Now that I have it, I can only drive around town and run small errands. I STILL don't have a ride to my friends even though I have a license. I pleaded with my mom to let me drive to school tomorrow, but she told me that she was going to be out of town tomorrow with my aunt and my grandma.
She said that she wanted to be here in case I got in a wreck. But my dad would be here! Besides that, I am a responsible driver, but she treats me like I'm 12 years old!!
Finally she said that I could drive to school, but she called off her plans with my grandma (whom I love dearly) and my aunt. She cited me as the reason why she did not want to go. I wanted my grandma to have a good time (today is my grandfather's birthday),so I conceeded and told my mom that I could wait to drive to school, but she insisted on calling off the plans.
I can sympathize with my parents b/c they HAVE gone through a lot of sh!t, but so have I-- the difference is that I keep my cool and persevere while they despair and lose control of their emotions. My dad just trudges around the house with his head down. He and my brother blame me for the pissy mood my mom is in. BUT I DIDN'T MAKE HER FEEL THAT WAY!! SHE CHOSE TO BE NEGATIVE AND PISS AND MOAN.
I can't take it anymore, guys. I see my friends--some of them a year younger than me-- telling their parents that they're going out and that they'll be back later. Their parents say "Ok, have fun! Be back before 12" and off they go.
But no. Because my parents are both AFC, they completely ruin my social life and don't give me the respect I deserve.
I am 17 years old now. Not 12. I do not follow orders blindly like I did when I was younger. I need some fvcking reasons why I should do what they want, and "Because I said so!" is NOT A REASON.
Guys, what I'm feeling is hard to describe. I feel resentment toward my parents for not granting me the freedom that I deserve, pity at the guilt that they feel (my mom has been known to break down crying and apologize for being a "bad parent"), distance from my dad (who prefers angry shouting and mean faces to logic, reason, and calmness), and concern for my brother...
The main role model in my life is my grandfather, who died of cancer a year ago. My grandmother is a wonderful woman as well, but the death of her husband leaves her in a near-constant state of depression and nostalgia.
I feel like no one in my family understands me. Please help me guys. You are the only ones I have to turn to. Thanks, Devin
