Online vs Real Life HELP!

[biggoal]

They will drain your bank account and any savings then leave you dry. They, in general, hate dudes due to their own sh itty decisions in life. Though, inwardly, they hate themselves more. Stick to finding a way to score with a female first; then work your way up. You need experience.. This is what you gravely lack, but do not realize.

Unless they marry me they won't get the bank account. If they pout about not getting anything they can then go pound sand and don't let the door hit them.

There is this really hot MILF on my street a few houses down. Very nice woman always polite, has two kids. She's divorced and only works like part time so husband must have been cleaned out. I never tried hitting on her or anything. I just got the vibe she was a gold digger. I think she's dating some redneck now. Drives a nice Ford pickup truck and wears boots. Looks to be about 50 years old so I dont' wanna mess with her anyway now.

The one on OLD I'm talking to pushing 50 wants to meet with me next week. Very religious but sees the romantic aspect for LTR hard because I'm a lot younger than her and can still have kids. SHe says she wants to meet me though and hangout. I mean, a cougar pushing 50 though why would she want to meet someone my age then? She is very cute for her age though and healthy. I find her to be really attractive and obviously she replied to me and texts with me so she must be interested in something.

Oh and that 39 year old nurse just randomly texted me again tonight to chat for awhile. I guess that's a good sign when they reach out to me without having to text first? Third time in a row she's randomly texted me.

 

[halfguard]

What make's you a provable 6+? You yourself said you're a 5. If you have ladies called Bilbo Baggins and Gollum, find another MMA gym to train at. All the ladies at my gym are tight and pretty attractive; but they'd kick you ass without a second thought.

I'm a 6+ based on feedback from the handful of 7s and above I was able to pull from online. Plus I have eyes. I see other dudes. Also these nightmare 5s and low 6s are almost 100% guaranteed sex when I'm with them. That actually makes me feel crappy because they're 5s. Not 7+. I'm hard on myself but realistic. I said since I'm always dealing with 5s online my mindset is a 5. The online arena has messed me up mentally since I haven't approached offline since before I was married. So i have doubts now where I stand. To figure out where my potential pool of women range I have to offline approach which I've never done before.

 

[biggoal]

I'm a 6+ based on feedback from the handful of 7s and above I was able to pull from online. Plus I have eyes. I see other dudes. Also these nightmare 5s and low 6s are almost 100% guaranteed sex when I'm with them. That actually makes me feel crappy because they're 5s. Not 7+. I'm hard on myself but realistic. I said since I'm always dealing with 5s online my mindset is a 5. The online arena has messed me up mentally since I haven't approached offline since before I was married. So i have doubts now where I stand. To figure out where my potential pool of women range I have to offline approach which I've never done before.

As I said in other threads I see HB7 and up women down here all the time with guys who are fat, short, bald, nasty looking etc. So you shouldn't have a problem pulling them off in person if you go to the right places and settings to meet them.

 

[kzar_kzar]

Look I get it you are going after the bait....where do all the best looking girls hangout.

But we are setting the hook. go after those good-looking girls but do it in such a way that the process improves you.

Think of it like a portfolio. If you already have a bunch of great social circles where good-looking girls abound I.e. bluechips then all you need is a bit of excitement I.e. small caps. So go to a shooting meet up for a off-road 4 x 4 meetup.

Leil lowndes used to call it scramble therapy. you go to a bunch of things you usually wouldn't try and you become a more interesting person.

It doesn't have to be a meetup. it could be a local market or your local theatre group. A yoga or dance class. Your local resources are going to differ. Any place you feel relatively comfortable and there are women around.

And I freely admit I'm old. I'm in my 50s and when I first came here I was pretty self-conscious about the idea of cold approaching. I still don't think I could do that. But what I do is situational approach. See girl on the lift I'll talk to her. if she's a bit guarded I LL wait and talk next time I see her. If she's into it I go for the number. Now currently I've got a long-term girlfriend now so talk is all she gets. But you get the idea.

I think I am going to keep this some where.. Amazing suggestion.. setting up a hook.

 

[halfguard]

What are your social circles like? I don’t believe that all the women in your mma gym are ugly. Especially since you said you are ThE master of banging 4’s and 5’s. You’re telling me the mma women with tight bodies are 2’s and 3’s then? That sounds hard to believe.

There have been times where I had nothing going on in terms of a social life because all I did was work and still I ran into cute women at my gym/mma/boxing classes.

Even when I did nothing but work on my laptop in coffee shops I managed to run into women.

And when I deliberately became proactive and seeked hobbies/interests that had women in it like yoga, wine tasting, art shows, performing in theater to practice public speech, etc, I ran into even more women. Like a never ending ecosystem that kept pumping in women.

The real question is, where AREN’T the women at? Even in strip clubs they come in droves.

Come up with 5 hobbies that you think you could be interested in that could potentially have women in it and I guarantee you you’d be surrounded by women flirting with you.

The reason why you keep running into crazy women is because OLD and the dating game in general is full of them.

You want to meet these women in social environments where women aren’t desperately looking. Environments that are centered around activities/hobbies/niche.

And finding those environments is like 90% of the battle.

The last thing you want to do is go back online or do speed dating. It’s full of needy and neurotic women.

Trust me you don’t want to meet women in ANY social environment that is related to dating/romance. It’s all contrived and forced and not natural. It’s like living in women’s frame/reality.

"It’s all contrived and forced and not natural. It’s like living in women’s frame/reality" - stormrider

That last sentence in your post...you just said what I couldn't articulate but always "felt". Mind blown man. Probably the best depiction of online dating I have ever heard.

It's clear based on all these responses that I must get involved in women heavy activities, stop making excuses (like you, I work from my laptop in bookstores and coffee shops almost everyday), and learn to approach IRL.

Not going to lie. It is a scary proposition. For 5 years I've hid online. Used it as a crutch. To completely depend on myself in the "real dating world" is terrifying. That is probably why I've always reverted back to OLD. Scared of "real rejection" IRL.

Which leads me to my next question...best sites or books to get the right mindset to approach? Not looking for PUA stuff unless some is legit and can help my self improvement overall as a man or should I just dive in? Go out there and start taking my beatings?

I do appreciate everyone's input.

 

[halfguard]

I actually don’t approach believe it or not. 99% of the time women initiate with me. That’s why putting yourself in social environments based on your hobbies/interests that has women in it can dramatically boost your self esteem.

It’s like I can go to a club and have women act like I’m just another random douche. And I can show up to a yoga class and women would treat me like I’m brad pitt. It’s kinda weird how that works.

One environment makes me feel desired. And another environment makes me feel like I am serving women.

I think the reason for this is because environments like yoga classes, theater, and certain activities resemble social tribes that are patriarchal where you have the dominant males and supplicating females. In these environments, the social dynamic is that women are the seducers and men are the targets.

But in a night club, it resembles a matriarchy where you have The Queen bee and male peasants serving her. Online dating can also resemble a matriarchy depending on the male/female ratio. And so can speed dating and just about every other environment that centers around dating. It all serves women.

On an even playing field, as long as you are a male 6 with a cool vibe and things going on for you, women will seduce you.

I don’t like the word “approach” because it’s coming from the female frame of serving women. I like to use the word socialize.

Does it matter who approaches who in a social environment? Not really. You make friends, network with people, have a good time, and share laughs.

And if a woman likes you, she gives you plausible deniability - an excuse to be alone like watching a movie, cooking a meal, or seeing a show/band/ etc. It’s just casual. And then you guys hook up.

At least for me, this is what it looks like. I exist in social environments based on hobbies/activities I enjoy that also happens to have women in it. I socialize like a normal guy, not a pickup artist, and women invite me to be alone with them if we click and have chemistry/connection.

This way my self esteem is always high because I am not constantly getting qualified/disqualified by women in social matriarchies.

The frame is reversed and I am the one who is qualifying/dismissing women based on their behavior.

The funny thing is, matriarchal environments like night clubs aren’t even natural. They are fabricated by society to make guys spend money on drinks. Most environments that serve women do not feel natural for a dominant and masculine guy. It all feels contrived and manipulated in a way.

Time to find some niches and hobbies that are women heavy and commonplace for a 47 year old dude.

 

[MrWood]

OP: you proved you can pull and smash, you got good text/OLD game. Good job!

So you are tired of HB4-7, and you should be.
You want to know how to pull more HB7-8, right?

stop swiping and engaging HB4-6
stop swiping 36 to 52
swipe more HB7-8
swipe younger 18-20, 29-35 (21-28 if you want kids)

your hit/date ratios may be less, but your quality will go up

 

[halfguard]

OP: you proved you can pull and smash, you got good text/OLD game. Good job!

So you are tired of HB4-7, and you should be.
You want to know how to pull more HB7-8, right?

stop swiping and engaging HB4-6
stop swiping 36 to 52
swipe more HB7-8
swipe younger 18-20, 29-35 (21-28 if you want kids)

your hit/date ratios may be less, but your quality will go up

My online opportunities will plummet but you're right. I've been filling up time online regardless of quality because of the fear of scarcity. Fear of having no plates to spin. So I spin anything then resent them.

Going offline and into the real world is my best bet while dabbling online. Instead of the other way around.

 

[RickTheToad]

I'm a 6+ based on feedback from the handful of 7s and above I was able to pull from online. Plus I have eyes. I see other dudes. Also these nightmare 5s and low 6s are almost 100% guaranteed sex when I'm with them. That actually makes me feel crappy because they're 5s. Not 7+. I'm hard on myself but realistic. I said since I'm always dealing with 5s online my mindset is a 5. The online arena has messed me up mentally since I haven't approached offline since before I was married. So i have doubts now where I stand. To figure out where my potential pool of women range I have to offline approach which I've never done before.

You never know until you try. Get off OLD and get into the real world.

 

[RickTheToad]

Unless they marry me they won't get the bank account. If they pout about not getting anything they can then go pound sand and don't let the door hit them.

There is this really hot MILF on my street a few houses down. Very nice woman always polite, has two kids. She's divorced and only works like part time so husband must have been cleaned out. I never tried hitting on her or anything. I just got the vibe she was a gold digger. I think she's dating some redneck now. Drives a nice Ford pickup truck and wears boots. Looks to be about 50 years old so I dont' wanna mess with her anyway now.

The one on OLD I'm talking to pushing 50 wants to meet with me next week. Very religious but sees the romantic aspect for LTR hard because I'm a lot younger than her and can still have kids. SHe says she wants to meet me though and hangout. I mean, a cougar pushing 50 though why would she want to meet someone my age then? She is very cute for her age though and healthy. I find her to be really attractive and obviously she replied to me and texts with me so she must be interested in something.

Oh and that 39 year old nurse just randomly texted me again tonight to chat for awhile. I guess that's a good sign when they reach out to me without having to text first? Third time in a row she's randomly texted me.

With you, and going by your actions on SS, as soon as they give the mark (you) some p ussy, you will be swallowed up and spit out with little to show for it.