online openers

[GS750]

So I was bored at work last night (no action) and I had my tablet with me in the car so I decided to follow Dave Glenn's idea and do an email blitz on match. I've been a little disappointed with my reply rate lately so I said fvck it, I'm going to just tidal wave the sh!t out of these birds and see what happens. I was on delicioustacos.com and saw his 44 funny OKC openers and used this one:

You are attractive, and I want to go out with you.

Basically.


That should set me apart from 99% of the a** kissing messages she gets on a daily basis asking about her job or her dog or whatever. I will report back what kind of messages I get back, if any. I sent about 40 or so.

 

[Albatross953]

I just went over there to have a look. That guys a genius....and there's something wrong with him. Really wrong lmao.

 

[GS750]

Yeah...I know. I really did it for entertainment. Wouldn't be surprised if I get some nasty replies but whatever. Most of them are time wasters looking for their "partner in crime" or their "soulmate" or whatever. So what if they think I'm an a**hole. Those 12 words pretty much sum up what every dude emailing her is saying. Or better yet "I think you're attractive. I want to fvck you" is more like it.

 

[TheGambino]

I open with 'Hey! how r u'

works great ;O

 

[Albatross953]

So can we make this the "match.com" thread? Post what works and what doesn't here guys...

 

[JohnnyStorm]

"You are attractive, and I want to go out with you"

For some reason I find myself saying this in my head in some Eastern European accent.
Can't imagine it working in the UK.
But worth a shot!

 

[GS750]

I use match.com and I always ask them out on the first email and in my experience usually only the most attractive ones seem to go for it. I'm specific about when and where I want to meet them, though. Your opener is very basic--which is a good thing, IMO--and I would be more specific as to the day and time and place you want to meet.

"You are attractive, and I want to meet you. Will you join me for a drink or two this Wednesday night at 8 at The Rusty Nail on 5th and Main?"

Good idea. I will use that one during my next blitz.

 

[GS750]

So can we make this the "match.com" thread? Post what works and what doesn't here guys...

In addition to my email experiment, I added a sentence to my "about me" section that I thought would help. I went to bed at 10:00 am (I work nights) and when I got up at 1:30 I had 2 photo likes, one wink, and an email waiting for me. So here it is: "I'm not here to waste anyone's time. I try to keep it straightforward with my intentions, so if I emailed you then I'm interested in meeting you at some point. If it's not mutual, that's okay too." Try it.

 

[Albatross953]

Espi, what does your profile on match look like?

 

[Yewki]

Do NOT reveal your income bracket. Ever.

If your income bracket is high, what's the downside to revealing it? Assuming your profile is well done I don't think revealing it would appear desperate or anything, it's a pretty common question on dating sites.

 

[GS750]

yeah...I've tried both. I'd say if it's under $40k then don't reveal it. Good tips here Espi. That one about searching for recently separated/divorced women is gold. Here's a few of mine...

I also have been asking for the date/meetup on the first email lately.
For profession put "other profession".
Like Espi said if she initiates contact (email,wink,like) wait a full day or two before you respond.
For faith put "I'll tell you later" or "spiritual not religious".
For alcohol put "socially".
For wants kids put "someday" or "definitely" even if you despise kids.
For political views put "middle of the road".
Chicks and guns? Ummm I've been seeing more and more of this lately. Lots of girls have a picture of them at the range. Doesn't mean they know how to safely handle a firearm though so I'm always wary. I'm not trying to get shot at a range when I have to worry about it every time I do a traffic stop. Fvck that.
Always have a call to action in your profile..."can you bait your own hook?", "can you handle a sleeping bag?", "Are you a good cook?" etc.
You love dogs. All breeds. All sizes. You fvckin love dogs. Even if you hate dogs. You are a dog lover. Trust me.
You are family oriented. Even if half your family hates you. You are family oriented.
You really enjoy your job. You work with great people. Even if you hate your job and your coworkers are d*cks.
Every single girls profile, and I mean EVERY ONE, says she wants a guy that can "make her laugh". Better put something funny or witty in that profile.
Put the line "I'm attracted to girls who..." towards the end of your narrative.
Don't email girls that have a checklist of qualities her ideal man must have.
Don't email girls who want a guy that makes $100,000+. Even if you do make that kind of money. Dumb girls advertising that she's a gold digger. Fvck her.
Don't wink. Don't favorite. Send an email.
Don't email girls that say "I love Jesus", "God is #1 in my life". You will not smash.
Don't email girls that start out with "please dont message me if..." Yeah, yeah we get it. You have impossible standards.
Like Espi said the smokin hotties are the ones you pitch the date to right off the bat. 99% of the email she gets kisses her a**. Stand out and say "I want to meet you, meet me for coffee/ice cream/drinks/mini-golf/whateverthehell this weekend.

 

[Albatross953]

Don't reveal your income because you'll end up picking up the tab on a date with a low interest chick you're never going to fvck.

Let her get another chump. Date women that would fvck you in the back seat of a primer coloured car...

 

[Albatross953]

My tips...

I really don't like to message, I let them come to me. If its slow I go browse which puts me on their radar.

My profile is funny, alpha and beta without the doormat. I get women writing me quoting it a lot. When I say beta, I mean I mention crazy **** my kid does...and plans to ship him to military school asap.

I go for the date asap. Gonna try first email, been doing 3-4th.

Three picks, all facebook tested for female response.

I never wink or favourite..should be obvious but some guys reading....

Tried searching for you espi, can't locate.

 

[Yewki]

Don't reveal your income because you'll end up picking up the tab on a date with a low interest chick you're never going to fvck.

Let her get another chump. Date women that would fvck you in the back seat of a primer coloured car...

If you make a high figure like say 100k and leave it undisclosed, yeah you can get away with paying less on dates but you'll also pull less dates. You can say a girl whose deciding factor is income is shallow and a gold digger but... let's be honest here, we're looking at pictures of people online and deciding who we want to have sex with. Online dating is already pretty damn shallow to begin with. I wouldn't necessarily call a girl a gold digger for favoring a more successful career.

 

[Albatross953]

That's true Yewki, but what I'm saying is some women date for dinners. I think by leaving off my salary which is pretty high, I weed out women who would take a free night out, but will never let me bone them.

 

[GS750]

That's true Yewki, but what I'm saying is some women date for dinners. I think by leaving off my salary which is pretty high, I weed out women who would take a free night out, but will never let me bone them.

So make it $50-$75k and leave it alone. That's what mine says...but it's true.

 

[Albatross953]

Fair enough, mine is a little more and I just try not to be a dlck about it.

GS750, did I read correctly that you are a cop? Do you leverage that? My usrid starts with"fiveo" simply because I love hawaii. You wouldn't believe how many ask if I'm a cop. Plus an ex plate of mine has now moved on to a mountie.

If you are a cop, I'd use that.

 

[VikingKing]

How can you not show how much you make on pof? Is match better than pof? do you have to pay for it?

 

[GS750]

I see what you're saying Alba. If you make closer to $100k just lower it if you're concerned about gold diggers. Problem solved. I don't have my profession in my profile. Same reason I don't have a facebook or myspace account. Believe it or not its about 50/50. Some girls like it when they find out what I do. Some don't. A girl I was talking to right around xmas promptly stopped talking to me when she found out I was a cop. Her dad is a Lt. with a local PD (who cheated on her mother) and her ex is a cop. She just dropped off the face of the earth. No explanation but I know why. I did see a girl on there a few weeks ago who's court date I had to attend for her stalking/agg assault charges. I quickly blocked her in case she recognized me. Haha its a crazy world and I've got a front row seat.

 

[Albatross953]

Yes, you do pay to be able to do anything on match.

I'd suggest signing up, then waiting for a special offer email. I got six months for $50. I used to use pof, found the improved quality worth the cost.