Online Dating vs. Bars

[rrrrr]

I've been doing online dating and about the only women that respond to me are obese... weighing as much as me or more (I'm a tall guy). When I DO get a "meetup", it rarely leads to a second date.


When I go to bars, I hook up with good looking women. The problem is I tend to go to "dive bars" and there tend to not be many women there. It's mostly men. But just yesterday I was talking to a woman at one, a decent to good looking girl, and she gave me her number without me even asking for it. She came up with the idea and I didn't even ask. I wasn't even going in that direction. I guarantee you if she were online and I emailed her, she would ignore me.

I flat out think that women are too picky online, and their emails are getting flooded with men spamming a bunch of women, that they can be super selective. If a guy is average, he can't get an average woman because those average women are being emailed by attractive guys frustrated that attractive women don't respond to them, because those attractive women are being blasted by anyone and everyone. So that means men have to lower their standards online.
That's my theory.

 

[MrWood]

try these tips: http://www.sosuave.net/forum/index.php?threads/pof-profile-rules-tips.227360/page-6#post-2339003

 

[Yewki]

I flat out think that women are too picky online, and their emails are getting flooded with men spamming a bunch of women, that they can be super selective. If a guy is average, he can't get an average woman because those average women are being emailed by attractive guys

Exactly.

Imagine going to a bar where there's 1000 guys and only 1 girl. That's online dating. Every girl online basically has her own virtual bar with 1000+ guys hitting on her.

Competition is relative, which is why online is a sh*t show. You're no longer competing with a few guys in the same bar/wherever, you're now competing with... every guy in town

 

[hockeyfreak79]

Yeah this has been discussed on here plenty of times. My favorites are the 'restaurant' bar. Not your typical crap bar food.

I agree with you on the dive bar part, but occasionally mine has a good rush of college broads on the patio, cheaper drinks too. I live in a fairly descent size city(380k) so I have few options.

The only OLD crap I have is Bumble & Happn, they are like Tinder just slightly different. I ocassional get on them but like you said they are just flooded out.

 

[raider87]

Competition is relative, which is why online is a sh*t show. You're no longer competing with a few guys in the same bar/wherever, you're now competing with... every guy in town

This applies to social media also. It's gotten out of hand.

 

[Tenacity]

There's no online dating v.s. bars, or online dating v.s. meeting women in grocery stores, or online dating v.s. meeting women (insert here).

USE all of the above.

If you are not using social media and free online dating sites like OKC and POF to meet women, you are seriously neglecting a relatively efficient/convenient source of new plates.

 

[dustmuffin]

I have good luck online. It is easy and efficient. I use tinder, bumble and Match. Just ask them out straight away. Not much effort and good reward.

 

[GS750]

I did the online thing on and off for about 2 years. But as Tenacity stated you can't rely on just one. Keep your eyes open when your out and about and don't limit yourself. My current gf I met online. Needle in a haystack for sure. But most first dates or meets go nowhere unless you really hit it off. I lost count of how many girls I met once and then never saw them again. If I got lukewarm responses or interest after the first date I dropped them and moved on. The girls online are pretty picky. If they are attractive they feel that they have so many options that unless you really make that 'gina tingle then you are done. Don't limit yourself to just one.

 

[slight]

I'd agree that average girls get a lot of attention, but when it comes to the really good looking ones, in my experience they don't get approached/hit on as much as you may think.

I've got 2 really attractive female cousins, and have spent quite some time with them - they get approached less than the average looking chicks. Everyone just assumes they've got boyfriends, or got ton of orbiters and don't even bother to initiate conversations with them.

 

[Tictac]

Exactly.

Imagine going to a bar where there's 1000 guys and only 1 girl. That's online dating. Every girl online basically has her own virtual bar with 1000+ guys hitting on her.

Competition is relative, which is why online is a sh*t show. You're no longer competing with a few guys in the same bar/wherever, you're now competing with... every guy in town

Tell me that you are not doing exactly the same thing, online or elsewhere.

 

[dustmuffin]

I sent out three messages on OLD yesterday. Now I have two dates. The other hasn't read my message yet. This is my standard message:

Hey xxx what's up?

Your profile caught my eye and I would like to meet you.
We could message endlessly or just meet for drinks.
What is your schedule like next week?

Dustmuffin

I have gotten good responses to this message. Sometimes they come back and want to message a bit. Sometimes I do and sometimes I don't.

I spent very little time sending the messages. You can cut and past this message to say 5 girls and wait for a response. If you get no bites send it to five more. I message in small batches because I don't want to message with a girl because I can't fit her in for a date. I want to actually meet her in a few days. Send the messages and be patient. You will eventually reel some in. I'm not a bar goer and OLD is the most efficient use of my time.

 

[CuddleJunkie]

I sent out three messages on OLD yesterday. Now I have two dates. The other hasn't read my message yet. This is my standard message:

Hey xxx what's up?

Your profile caught my eye and I would like to meet you.
We could message endlessly or just meet for drinks.
What is your schedule like next week?

Dustmuffin

I have gotten good responses to this message. Sometimes they come back and want to message a bit. Sometimes I do and sometimes I don't.

I spent very little time sending the messages. You can cut and past this message to say 5 girls and wait for a response. If you get no bites send it to five more. I message in small batches because I don't want to message with a girl because I can't fit her in for a date. I want to actually meet her in a few days. Send the messages and be patient. You will eventually reel some in. I'm not a bar goer and OLD is the most efficient use of my time.

Dustmuffin my friend, I have a question for you. How is your style when meeting this online women? I will make a bet and say "aggresive", as I remember some of your field reports, but I want some clarifications, because I'm moving to a larger city and I want to try online sites. I just want a couple of bangs out of such women, not a regular plate.And I want my first MILF, and I guess these sites are full of post-post-wall women.
So really, a couple tips, or a rundown of your usual meetings would help me tremendously. The message is golden by the way.

 

[dustmuffin]

Dustmuffin my friend, I have a question for you. How is your style when meeting this online women? I will make a bet and say "aggresive", as I remember some of your field reports, but I want some clarifications, because I'm moving to a larger city and I want to try online sites. I just want a couple of bangs out of such women, not a regular plate.And I want my first MILF, and I guess these sites are full of post-post-wall women.
So really, a couple tips, or a rundown of your usual meetings would help me tremendously. The message is golden by the way.

I am very aggressive. I always hug when I meet them. If they extend a hand I take it and pull them in for the hug. I always sit next to them as close as possible. My hands are constantly on their arms, hair, thigh. Later in the date I concentrate on stroking their thigh. I put my arm around them. They know by my actions that I'm a sexual being and not their friend. I have had many comment about it and that they like it.

I am very aloof. I don't answer questions directly. I pressure flip. I use amused mastery to deflect sh it tests. I use direct eye contact and the triangle method to cause sexual tension. that's looking at one eye, over to the next and down to the mouth. Then I start over again. If I can make my comments sexual I will. I have gotten better at it with practice. Do not look down. If you are not making eye contact then look off to one side. Never look down because it shows submissiveness.

I can actually feel when I have made a mistake and the vibe changes. You have to focus and not lose concentration.I have lost concentration and the date goes bad. Either that or the woman is just a bi tch. I have had dates with women that were bit chy and threw **** tests at me from the word go. I did my best to deflect them. I knew that if I went in for a kiss I would be rejected but I did anyway. It is good practice. I never bail on a bad date. I use it to learn. But if I'm rejected that's it. I won't ask for another date. If I get a kiss I ask them if they would like to come over for a drink. I have had women say no but I can come to their place.

I have used coming over to see my cats with success. Anything to give plausible deniability. Be sure to make your date at a place close to your house. I have had repeat dates with the girls that wanted to fu ck at their house and made dates close to them. IDC where I do the deed.

So......Concentrate....Heavy kino......be aloof...create sexual tension with words and eye contact.......ask her home in some way to give her deniability. Go for the mid date kiss if you are doing well.

I know I have improved with practice. Go out on as many dates as you can at first. Your game and results will improve. At first I was lining up 5 dates or more a week. I have cut that down to two or three. In fact now I really don't care if I get a date at all. I just fill my time doing things I need to do.

 

[CuddleJunkie]

I am very aggressive. I always hug when I meet them. If they extend a hand I take it and pull them in for the hug. I always sit next to them as close as possible. My hands are constantly on their arms, hair, thigh. Later in the date I concentrate on stroking their thigh. I put my arm around them. They know by my actions that I'm a sexual being and not their friend. I have had many comment about it and that they like it.

I am very aloof. I don't answer questions directly. I pressure flip. I use amused mastery to deflect sh it tests. I use direct eye contact and the triangle method to cause sexual tension. that's looking at one eye, over to the next and down to the mouth. Then I start over again. If I can make my comments sexual I will. I have gotten better at it with practice. Do not look down. If you are not making eye contact then look off to one side. Never look down because it shows submissiveness.

I can actually feel when I have made a mistake and the vibe changes. You have to focus and not lose concentration.I have lost concentration and the date goes bad. Either that or the woman is just a bi tch. I have had dates with women that were bit chy and threw **** tests at me from the word go. I did my best to deflect them. I knew that if I went in for a kiss I would be rejected but I did anyway. It is good practice. I never bail on a bad date. I use it to learn. But if I'm rejected that's it. I won't ask for another date. If I get a kiss I ask them if they would like to come over for a drink. I have had women say no but I can come to their place.

I have used coming over to see my cats with success. Anything to give plausible deniability. Be sure to make your date at a place close to your house. I have had repeat dates with the girls that wanted to fu ck at their house and made dates close to them. IDC where I do the deed.

So......Concentrate....Heavy kino......be aloof...create sexual tension with words and eye contact.......ask her home in some way to give her deniability. Go for the mid date kiss if you are doing well.

I know I have improved with practice. Go out on as many dates as you can at first. Your game and results will improve. At first I was lining up 5 dates or more a week. I have cut that down to two or three. In fact now I really don't care if I get a date at all. I just fill my time doing things I need to do.

Thanks man, I appreciate. That's maybe a little too aggressiveness for me right now, but we all know change is possible. I mean, if you are meeting someone from a dating site, you both know what's up, there's no room for "indirectness", so being more aggressive than with a girl you know from other places make a lot of sense.

 

[Visionist]

Fantastic tips dustmuffin! I feel different just having read them.

Would your standard "let's meet" message work on a non-dating site like Facebook do you think?

 

[dustmuffin]

Thanks man, I appreciate. That's maybe a little too aggressiveness for me right now, but we all know change is possible. I mean, if you are meeting someone from a dating site, you both know what's up, there's no room for "indirectness", so being more aggressive than with a girl you know from other places make a lot of sense.

I am aggressive and direct.

Fantastic tips dustmuffin! I feel different just having read them.

Would your standard "let's meet" message work on a non-dating site like Facebook do you think?

I haven't tried it. You could try it and see how it works.

 

[Dhoulmagus]

At the bars here, every girl gets swarmed by 7 guys within 4 minutes of being there so how is it any different?

 

[Roni_88]

At the bars here, every girl gets swarmed by 7 guys within 4 minutes of being there so how is it any different?

Why concentrate on others ? make the difference, the more quality the more competition. It will always exist just go for it, learn and continue

 

[skinnyguy]

If you are very good looking you should be on OLD all the time.

To me OLD and bars are the same thing. Lots of faggots competing for a woman's attention. Most of the time the women aren't even cute.

 

[Dhoulmagus]

Why concentrate on others ? make the difference, the more quality the more competition. It will always exist just go for it, learn and continue

That's a good thought around it, but I'm tackling the point on online dating pretty much being average girls getting hit on by a ton of good looking guys,