Online dating update

[stevera004]

Well, as you know I've been putting a lot of energy into online dating for the past month; and it's generally been a positive experience. I for one have discovered that I'm a lot more desirable to women than I once thought. Anyways, had a good experience today and thought I'd share.

Early afternoon went out with one for the 2nd time; she is really into me but I'm not into her. Don't know how to break the news to her. She just emailed me and invited me to some dinner-dance thing on Friday. Need to suck it up and tell her, but I'm tempted to take the cowards way out and block her emails.

Later in the evening went on a first date with a HB7, 29 y.o. never married no kids 5-3 115 lbs chick. We didn't immediately hit it off, I think she was nervous and it came across as standoffishness.

We talked general small talk. I consciously tried to talk less about myself and ask her more questions, and to destroy any wimpishness or AFCism's as I could feel them starting up inside of me. That generally worked well.

My impression of her was fairly positive; smart chick (and not just book smart) and very feminine. Should mention here that she has been in this country for 9 years (originally from Moscow). So maybe my weakness for East. European women played a role here; but I think she was genuinely sexy.

We talked about family, kids, mothers & fathers, grandparents, a little bit about work, school, travels, her experience with online dating. A lot of this was interesting, but suffice it to say, she has had a fairly interesting life, but was appropriately modest (but not excessively). So just about right there.

Her take on online dating was interesting. She has recieved dozens of emails from guys, many dozen expressions of interest (called smiles on the site I use), and lots of attempted IM chats. Contrast that to myself (and most men I would guess) who receive zero of the above. Men just gotta work harder I guess.

I should have asked why she decided to go out with me, but didn't. It would have sounded needy, so I scratched that.

We had 2 drinks (ok, I had 3) and things started to loosen up a lot. At this point, I still wasn't sure of her reaction, so I pretty much wrote it off in my mind.

But, we went out for a smoke (both occasionals) and that seemed to turn the tide. I made a crack about accountants (her job) and she gave me a friendly jab in the stomach.

It was all smooth sailing from here. Once the dessert coffee's were drunk, she suggested we go for a walk outside. We did, we started making out fairly passionately. She was definately made aware of my manhood (i.e. little stevera004).

We did this intermittently for the next hour or so (there's only so much you can do in public) and I decided to call it a night.

She suggested I phone her tomorrow, I will. I says "let's watch a movie". Great test question, since one can either go out to watch a movie, or stay in and watch DVDs. My guess is on the latter for tomorrow.

I will keep you guys posted.

For me (don't wish to sound portentous) this is the essence of DJing. Not scoring (i.e. sleeping) necessarily with chicks, but feeling great about being a man. The scoring may or may not happen, but either way, a great night. And I owe it all to sosuave. Thanks guys.

 

[OddTech]

Thanks for posting Stevera. I have a question, when did you know about her body types (5' 3", 115 lbs)? Did you ask her before meeting or did you noticed when you had the date.

My biggest pet peeves with online settings are women who only show their faces, or they call themselves "average" body size. These women really don't know body types. My most recent online dating experience was yesterday with a girl who called herself average body type, and her picture was just her face, which was a bad sign, I thought. I went to meet her anyway and when I saw her, it was bad sight. My mom has a better body than hers. I should've walked away literally right after seeing her, but my somehow my moral conscience intervene and I spend 1 hour with her. Sorry for the rants.

 

[Jay Gatsby]

I've gone on a few dates arranged through online sources. I used to demand a full body picture. Some women thought that was a "sicko" request and that I was only after their bodies for sex, others were indignant at having their veracity questioned, and still others didn't even bother responding. Regardless of the reason such women had for doing so, I was much better off. Those who sent me a picture were true to form, and I had some very good experiences with them.

If I thought someone was entitled to an explanation why I wanted a full body picture, I had standard pre-written explanation that I had spent a couple of hours drafting, re-drafting and making sound genuine/heartfelt. For the most part, it worked like a charm.

 

[stevera004]

Originally posted by OddTech
Thanks for posting Stevera. I have a question, when did you know about her body types (5' 3", 115 lbs)? Did you ask her before meeting or did you noticed when you had the date.

I actually found out when I met her. I had no idea initially, only a tiny picture from which it was hard to tell. I mentioned the fact that she ate very little (the food at the place was terrible, that was the reason, but I wanted to see what she would say). Turns out she was getting too fat; she was 53kg (approx 116 lbs) and wanted to get back to her ideal weight of 50kg (approx 110 lbs). Now that's what I call a sensible girl !

The method I use to deal with the fatties is simple: I only go out with women who recently arrived from Eastern Europe (eg. within the past 10 years). Most of them are normal sized, so it never occurs to me to even wonder if they're fatties ahead of time. I dislike fatties more than anything; if a girl wasn't born beautiful, well, that's life. Not everyone can be beautiful. But to let oneself become a heffer is inexcusable, it shows contempt for the man in your life and disrespect for oneself.

Interesting to note that this particular one (and most I've dated) *never* go to fast food places (McDonald's, etc.) or drink pop (Coke etc.). By and large, they don't exercise either (it's not needed for women if they just watch what the f*ck they eat). US/Canadian women just don't understand; they think 5 minutes on a treadmill will undo all those SuperSize meals. Nope. They also think guys find fatties attractive. Nope again.

Yep, fat chicks bother me.

 

[ER!C L!VE]

Online dating rules!

You can try for every girl online who is dangling bait or get specific and look for only certain kinds of bait.

Nice work - there is much more where she came from!

Cheers!

Eric

 

[Cleatus VanDamme]

Nice work! Online dating is touch and go at first, but if you work at it you can hit your stride and be meeting 2-4 women a month. That's why you meet first for coffee or happy hour - if they are undesirable it's only a few bucks out of your pocket and there will be someone else coming along soon.

Watch for flakes! I met one 27 yo HB7 for happy hour once. We had only chatted for a week online, so I didn't know anything about her. During our meet she was acting nervous then told me she had a confession: she was engaged and her finacee was in Leavenworth prison (manufacturing meth)!!!! Serving 9 years and she had every intention of marrying him when released. Man that was some funny stuff. And no, there were no more dates with her after that.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

First of all let the one that you aren't interested in that you're not. Don't wimp out and hide from her by blocking her emails, it's an AFC/womanly move. Be bigger than that and just tell her.

Next, you did well on your date with the accountant. The one problem is that you don't understand what being a real DJ means and you ended up not knowing just how well you did.

Being a DJ does not mean bedding every woman you date. A DJ is attracts women who want to be with him in one way or another. Sleeping with them is just one aspect.

Refocus on what your goal, do you want to be a player or a DJ? One isn't necessarily better than the other, they are just different. Focus on the skills most successful with the persona that you choose will make you more readily successful.

 

[stevera004]

Thanks for the comments everyone.

I'm a bit wiped, got back from date #2 with the accountant. Things went really well; I decided that we should go out an watch a movie. We saw an artsy Russian film (subtitled) "The Return". I liked it, she liked it. Lots of other small details that I won't recount.

We are starting to get comfortable with one another (I know, after 2 dates, but I can feel that happening already). I'm definately attracted to her; I had almost forgotten how it felt to be really turned on by the person you're with.

And, I'm not interested in being a player, so I think I'll put the other online dating girls on hold for a while and give this one a chance to work itself out.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by stevera004
And, I'm not interested in being a player, so I think I'll put the other online dating girls on hold for a while and give this one a chance to work itself out.

DOH!

Dude, you just stepped in a big steaming pile of AFC shizit! You're acting as if you're committed to this woman and you don't even know her!!! Does that make sense?

Consider this, let's say that you want to buy a new car. You have an idea of what you like in a car but you just don't know which model had the most of what you want.

You go to a car lot and find one that looks nice and had for tires and even a steering wheel!!! Do you decide to test drive only that one car? Of course not! So why would you do this when trying to find a woman to date?

Guys, learn what it means to be a player and what it means to be a DJ. There is a difference and until you know what each is as its core, you will continue to get only a fraction of what you want.