Online dating has ruined the bar scene

[seasonedplayer]

Before online dating, my hit rate at bars was significantly higher. Despite my 37 year old age, I still look young, I dress better, and have better game now so if anything my hit rate should have increased over the years

Now online dating has come along:
A) gives women the illusion they have access to thousands of men so no need to utilize bars to meet guys
B) women can behave like sluts anonymously online. At bars, they don't want their friends to see them giving numbers to random guys
C) profile searches allow women to customize and estimate how much cash a guy has. There is less visibility with respect to random guys at bars
D) women can utilize online dating 24/7 so no need to kick a goal on Friday and Saturday nights

Not only has my hit rate diminished, my close rate has also. Women can go on so many dates, there is less of a need to sleep with any particular guy she is on a date with

Interested to hear whether people agree with me

 

[thefonz]

Very interesting conclusion you have drawn.

Dude, if a girl likes you...she likes you and it doesn't matter if you meet online, at a bar, in a coffee shop, at work. You may be in a slump and looking for excuses right now, but i assure you this sounds absurd and baseless to the average observer.

I feel taking some kind of positivity challenge would help you greatly. Your mind is ****ing with you.

 

[Outlaw_]

No disrespect to you bro, but these are all simply excuses for your failed game. I'm saying this from love, not hate. You're making this up in your head: "Online dating has ruined the bar scene." So you go into the bar/club/day game scene reeking of this. It bleeds through your game.

Here is the real deal with women. When you display enough value to them, they don't care about...Looks (you can be bald or fat), Money (you can be sleeping on your friends couch or have no car), not giving the pvss up (they will give it up on the 1st date given the amount of value AND skill that you have).

The above goes for ALL women. You have to display enough value (what they consider value) to them. What is valuable to them? For some it's confidence, others it's ability to engage them in deep conversations, others it's ability to keep them on their toes, others it's making them laugh, etc.

Unless your able to do that, then it's no go. If you do hit her value point, then she will be blind to any other men on the planet. I'm just starting to see all of this unfold before my eyes being fresh back in the game as of last year.

So, my advice. Drop the story bro. You are the results of experiencing negative expectancy. AKA the Law of Attraction. AKA you go in with a single perception of the way the world is...and no matter what happens, you (not really you, your subconscious) will do whatever it takes to align things with your expectation.

Outlaw

 

[Kailex]

I think cell phones have ruined the bar scene more than online dating, to be honest.

I've yet to have a problem when I hit a bar, until I see a gaggle of women in a semi-circle all peering into their phone screens as if contemplating the meaning of life or looking for the next sale at Penney's.

 

[JIM_DANDY]

I beg to differ, whenever I go out the bars & clubs are filled with hot women just ripe for the pickings they don't stay glued to their computers like you say. Most men that use online dating are the bottom tier of men that lots of women won't date so those women are out meeting men. Women date both online & off seking new suitors if your game is solid as you say there wouldn't be a problem with you finding new ladies. Outlaw is spot with his analysis I see more excuses & negativity from you than anything else. If you improved looking better with tight game you'd pull some hotties.

First Post Here

 

[the_stig]

I've yet to have a problem when I hit a bar, until I see a gaggle of women in a semi-circle all peering into their phone screens as if contemplating the meaning of life or looking for the next sale at Penney's.

LOL!

A few of my lays have come from chatting with chicks on POF or Tinder while they are sitting at the bar drinking.

I build some flirty rapport, and tell them something like "This app is killing my battery, but text when you get home and we'll have an after-party" then leave my number. 50% will start texting me immediately. Not always sure thing but I have had success.

Now you know why they're glued to their phones

 

[In2theGame]

The bar/Lounges scene is the best. I dont need to bother with online stuff although i tried POF for a month and in my mind i kept thinking.... WTF am i doing? I pick up beautiful Women all the time when i go out at night. I deleted my account and have continued to pick up Women after Women when i go out on weekends. There's no substitute to hitting the night out and see hot girls walking by you or hanging out inside the bar and then approaching them, Feeling up on them, making them smile, getting her to give you those "take me home" eyes...etc I love it. I understand some guys like to type away and send messages and set up a date but IMO nothing replaces the real thing.

 

[seasonedplayer]

I think cell phones have ruined the bar scene more than online dating, to be honest.

I've yet to have a problem when I hit a bar, until I see a gaggle of women in a semi-circle all peering into their phone screens as if contemplating the meaning of life or looking for the next sale at Penney's.

That's my point. They are on their cell phones texting the 5 guys they met in the last week on online dating. Before cell phones, online dating, tinder etc, being at a bar was "game time," and they had to make it count

 

[seasonedplayer]

No disrespect to you bro, but these are all simply excuses for your failed game. I'm saying this from love, not hate. You're making this up in your head: "Online dating has ruined the bar scene." So you go into the bar/club/day game scene reeking of this. It bleeds through your game.

Here is the real deal with women. When you display enough value to them, they don't care about...Looks (you can be bald or fat), Money (you can be sleeping on your friends couch or have no car), not giving the pvss up (they will give it up on the 1st date given the amount of value AND skill that you have).

The above goes for ALL women. You have to display enough value (what they consider value) to them. What is valuable to them? For some it's confidence, others it's ability to engage them in deep conversations, others it's ability to keep them on their toes, others it's making them laugh, etc.

Unless your able to do that, then it's no go. If you do hit her value point, then she will be blind to any other men on the planet. I'm just starting to see all of this unfold before my eyes being fresh back in the game as of last year.

So, my advice. Drop the story bro. You are the results of experiencing negative expectancy. AKA the Law of Attraction. AKA you go in with a single perception of the way the world is...and no matter what happens, you (not really you, your subconscious) will do whatever it takes to align things with your expectation.

Outlaw

I hear you but trust me dude, I do very well online and on dates, have confidence, game etc but long for the days of going to a bar on a Friday night and getting laid that night 50pct of the time. It's a hell of a lot more efficient than a bunch of messaging and dates

 

[Zarky]

Online dating has ruined the bar scene

Another whiner

 

[backbreaker]

I think both are correct, it wasn't cell phones per say that ruined dating. It was SMARTPHONES that ruined dating. Facebook in itself is not the problem. Being able to get on facebook at the bar lol, is the problem.

 

[Tenacity]

I do well online, in person, whatever. I don't really believe that meeting a chick online has ruined the in-person game because online dating I would say is harder than in-person game. In-person game she's looking at you directly, can hear your voice, etc. Online you have to have a very good personality that shines through your messages before you can then pull her number.

But I incorporate a mixture of everything, even though I do more online dating as it's more efficient for me to meet new women seeing as though my work schedule is one that I don't have a lot of free time.

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear Seasoned player,
Well I have been sitting in bars for nearly twenty years longer than you have lived...they never were any good for picking up Birds,and never will be!

 

[Kailex]

That's my point. They are on their cell phones texting the 5 guys they met in the last week on online dating. Before cell phones, online dating, tinder etc, being at a bar was "game time," and they had to make it count

Have to agree... I said "cell phones" but I meant "smart phones and apps"... because that's been the obvious downfall.

It's not the same, to be honest, and I've noticed a difference.

Zarky can come in here and denote whining, but just go to a bar and sit down. Unless you are in a "mega-city", you will notice the amount of people (yes, men and women) just sitting there staring at their stupid phones. To the point where being alone has been replaced by looking at your phone. It's almost as if human beings can't be without the interaction of their phones.

15 years ago, I used to see people panic because they might have locked their keys in their car. Now, it's been replaced by "OMG wur is mah phonez".

To be honest, I don't even go to bars to meet women anymore. I have used OLD, but I've used social circles more than anything. It just apalls me how much I'll see a phone out at a bar.

But to Scara's point, the difference might have shifted from "the friend" or "Not interested" to just having a phone out to give an unavailable vibe.

There'll always be something

 

[Solomon]

OP has a point and I use to think the same but the reality is the bars/lounges in my town are more packed then ever. Especially with College having started again it's like assfest 2014 when you go out.

I got a wingman who is 5'5 average looking(125 pounds soaking wet) but he picks up a new chicks from the bar every week.

How?

He is relentless just ****ing relentless. I really don't have the energy like he does but he's starting to rub off on me. I personally gave up on online dating....POF in my area is trash just horrid

I beg to differ, whenever I go out the bars & clubs are filled with hot women just ripe for the pickings they don't stay glued to their computers like you say. Most men that use online dating are the bottom tier of men that lots of women won't date so those women are out meeting men. Women date both online & off seking new suitors if your game is solid as you say there wouldn't be a problem with you finding new ladies. Outlaw is spot with his analysis I see more excuses & negativity from you than anything else. If you improved looking better with tight game you'd pull some hotties.

First Post Here

Ha This reminds when I went out two weeks ago and this guy approached these girls like

"Are you girls on Tinder?"

mind you these girls weren't on their phone or nothing needless to say the guy got blown out something cold

 

[Zarky]

the reason I berate people for whining is because I firmly believe that they need "tough love" to smack 'em upside the head. You make your own life; if you wait for others to make your life what you want it to be, you'll never be happy.

Believe it or not, the more I call out a guy on his b*tching, the more I'm trying to help. Not always what the dude wants to hear though, that's for sure...

 

[Colossus]

I did well with online dating, but I was never a deft player in the bars. I couldn't get out of my own way.

I think what's changing dating more than anything is BOTH online dating and smartphones. Young women have developed this huge sense of value inflation because of all the thirsty gameless guys messaging them 24/7.

Pretty girls are a dime a dozen. They really are. It's not difficult to go out in any decent sized city and find scores of 7's, 8's, and 9's. They are like clones. Look, dress, act, talk the same. Problem is, pedestalization is alive and well, so combine that with the usual bar approaches, multiple online dating messages every day, and a roster of orbiter guys texting them it's no wonder they think their pvssy is plated in gold.

I'm "out" of the game these days--so take this with a grain of salt--but I think to be successful in today's mating market you need to play outside the box. Daytime approaches, social circles, meetup groups...areas that are outside the expected pickup norm are where a guy with solid looks and game could really clean house. If you try to beat these b!tches at their own game you are dealing with losing odds. You need to circumvent the technology-dopamine obsession and get out there and make real approaches and create real rapport. Girls will remember the guy from softball with the big shoulders who charmed her panties off----not the 47th guy who messaged her on OkCupid this week.