Online Dating - Changes in last 4-5 years

[DJnomore]

Originally posted by Kid Quick
I searched for other topics, but none of them addressed the angle in my question. How much has internet dating changed in the last 4-5 years? This was the last time I tried it. At that time I found there were far more men than women, and it was extremely difficult to get the attention of those who interested me as they could afford to be extremely picky. Those I did go out with misrepresented themselves in their profiles either through physical dimensions (110-125 lbs my -ss, try 155), or personality by saying they were fun and outgoing when I couldn't drag words out of them.

Most of the women I've dated were through friends of friends, but that well is running dry. I'm 34, currently unemployed, looking to start my own business/franchise or join a small company if that doesn't work. If I do start my own business online dating my be the best option as I won't have much time for volunteer organizations or other groups. Now that internet dating has matured some do you notice a levelling of the playing field as far as male/female ratios, response rates, etc.? If you've been online dating for 4+ years please share your perspective on what's changed and what hasn't.

Wow I am totally the oposite I was able to get women left and right 4/5 years ago online...

Now yahoo chat is full of bots and women are all on eharmony lol

 

[Bible_Belt]

My biggest problem with eharmony was that they would not match me with girls who were my own age. I think in the culture of rural mid-America, women my age who are single tend to be desperate to either not become an old maid or to find a father figure for their kids. Neither is especially attractive.

Men seem to prefer women in their 20s, no matter how old the man is.

 

[Bonhomme]

If you don't have a good, steady income and financial security, you're operating with a hand tied behind your back in the world of online dating sites. Online dating sites are first and foremost about criteria. "Laundry lists," if you will. And financial stability/security is one of the biggest of the criteria for women.

Do your sarging in person, where your skills can get gals hooked enough they'll rationalize away any concerns about your career.

 

[Bonhomme]

The process I used for each still works using myspace. Add the girl, leave a comment on her profile, let her respond to your comment via email or by her leaving you a comment, chat for a few emails, get phone number, call and set up date.

You must be neglecting to mention a step here, Eric. It is my understanding that someone has to approve your adding them. So the correct sequence would read: "request the girl to add you, either she adds you or doesn't, if she does add you, leave a comment ..."

But I have noticed that most people on myspace -- except exceptionally secure people who take the word "friend" on face value -- are willing to add most anyone that will add them.

 

[al77]

Originally posted by Bonhomme


Do your sarging in person, where your skills can get gals hooked enough they'll rationalize away any concerns about your career.

This is by far the most important difference between real and only dating. Women online look at anything but you: your age, your wallet, your job, your marital status, your area (they want men from good and not so poor cities) etc

So they it is like an auction where you are being sold by your "features" which has nothing to do with who you are.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by al77


This is by far the most important difference between real and only dating. Women online look at anything but you: your age, your wallet, your job, your marital status, your area (they want men from good and not so poor cities) etc...

That's only if you usually sarge superficial women.

 

[al77]

Originally posted by Francisco d'Anconia
That's only if you usually sarge superficial women.

Where would you find not ugly, not fat, not superficial women online these days? It seems they already got married ...

 

[Ricky]

I think I'm going to setup a myspace profile for fun because it doesn't have the aura of having your profile on a dating website.

Call me weird, but I never liked the idea of having my picture up on a site, so i never put it up. Then I only emailed girls with no picture up. And surprise, but some of the girls without a picture up actually are cute.

Even so I haven't really enjoyed the girls I met online as much. Still my least favorite way of meeting girls.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by al77
Where would you find not ugly, not fat, not superficial women online these days? It seems they already got married ...

The secret is that you will find whatever you focus on. If that's what you feel the women online look like, guess what you will find? You're finding exactly what you are obsessing over.

The same holds true offline. Chances are you find the same women offline too. If that's what you are focus on, what do you expect?

 

[al77]

Originally posted by Francisco d'Anconia
The secret is that you will find whatever you focus on. If that's what you feel the women online look like, guess what you will find? You're finding exactly what you are obsessing over.

The same holds true offline. Chances are you find the same women offline too. If that's what you are focus on, what do you expect?

What do you mean exactly?
I focus on "not ugly, not fat, not superficial".

I find either they are fuglies, or from a higher league looks wise.
Maybe the latter ones are superficial, I am not sure.

Why would I focus on fuglies?? They are simply very eager to find anyone. Hotties alway looking for somebody better. This is quite natural.

I don't see how what you said is applicable here.

What I saw online is many many trashy women. Really a lot. They may look ok, but they are quite horrible "inside". Like somebody who goes to bars only and love getting drunk.
Also I saw a very decent percentage of hot women, but they were extremely picky.

 

[al77]

Originally posted by Ricky

Call me weird, but I never liked the idea of having my picture up on a site, so i never put it up.

Then I only emailed girls with no picture up. And surprise, but some of the girls without a picture up actually are cute.

Don't know why you don't like your pics up. This would boost your rate online tremendously.

Though I 100% agree with yoru idea - to write to women without pics. They are not very spoiled with attention, they still feel like they are "offline":not many men approach them, even if they are hot. This is a good idea for online dating.
...But if she is not willing to share a pic after a couple of emails, well.. it might be very tough when you see her.

 

[Bonhomme]

Don't know why you don't like your pics up. This would boost your rate online tremendously.

When I was very skinny, and had a go at online dating, I had more responses when I didn't have a pic up than when I did, and I'm not horribly bad looking by any stretch.

 

[al77]

Originally posted by Bonhomme
When I was very skinny, and had a go at online dating, I had more responses when I didn't have a pic up than when I did, and I'm not horribly bad looking by any stretch.

Just a guess: maybe at that time online dating was not very developed, and women were very curious and willing to use it?
Later on, online became more of AW paradise or "Lets choose a husband". In the beginging it was cool and people were genuinely curious about it.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by fuzzx
I have a friend who gets lots of dates online, but its never worked for me. I tend to see alot of taglines like "Where is my knight in shining armour!" "Looking for Mr.Right" "Do you believe in love at first sight?" and then on their profile it reads:

If you just want sex DONT MESSAGE ME.
If you don't like kids STAY AWAY.
I wont respond to you if you dont have a pic!
I wont respond to boring messages!
I want a man who is smart, funny and intelligent.
I like a man who can hold a good conversation.
I've been through bad relationships before and now I'm looking for something different.
I'm sick of the bar scene and I just want to settle down.
Must want children.
I want friendship first POSSIBLY leading to more.
I'm not looking for a relationship, I'm just here to chat and meet new friends. (kinda stupid being on a dating site)

Those kinda things turn me off right away, and they seem to make up the majority of profiles online, so I don't even bother with that stuff. I'll stick to cold approaches thanks, no pretense.

Those type of women are just a way of life, on the Net or not. Just avoid them and you'll automatically up your probability of success.