Online Dating Blunders?

[MikeEdward1973]

Either way, you're out more money than I am for the same thing. You lose.

This is sad. If you count $30 as 'money' then you're in real bad shape, whether you're getting laid or not.

 

[Luveno]

Go run a search on Match in NY, Chicago, LA, or San Francisco. Set your search criteria for single white females, ages 18 to 30, no kids, in athletic shape. Don't think they're hot? Then you're not straight.

Go run a search on myspace with the same search criteria. You'll find very little difference.

So, we're getting the same thing - namely hot SWFs. Only I'm not paying a monthly fee for it.

Paying for something you can get for free is stupid regardless of how much it costs. You can go waste your money if you want.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

It is an absolute rip-off.

Think about it: if a woman is willing to pay to meet people ONLINE, then they must be extremely desperate. Women are the hunted; if they are high quality they should have men kicking down their doors everyday!


I can't believe fools pay for those websites...useless.

Women are on the Internet (paid sites) because it makes their selection making easier. It's easier for the hot ones to pick out and avoid the AFCs who have no idea how to game. Guy's who know how to game offline typically know what they need to do online because it's easy for them to qualify and judge a woman's interest level.

Women on non-paying sites haven't anti'd up anything so they have nothing to lose. They can easily string along AFC's without worrying about the cost. I think that's why AFCs who don't know what they're doing choose to just frequent free sites, there's nothing for them to lose. People who are willing to pay are more serious about their what they want from a dating site.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

eHarmony exploits fears and sells security. What fears? Fear of rejection, fear of perpetual loneliness, fear of never meeting your ONE (i.e. the soulmate myth) and then sell you an idealization based on what THEY say will produce long term happiness. They're in the business of selling soulmates.

In a way, eHarmony (online dating services really) is the flip side of the commercialized PUA community - they essentially sell a short cut to the same idealization, but both suffer from the same flaw; neither promote a better self-understanding, and both rely on their customer's staying AFCs in order to be profitable. David D, Mystery and the rest of the seminar, DVD selling gurus offer the same product as eHarmony - an easier way, a proprietary formula that grants access to intimacy. Nowhere (SS being an exception) is the idea of making fundamental personal change encouraged. Both rely on AFCs staying AFCs.

It's time to drop this Buffer.

 

[legolas]

True story!!

I used to be on match.com and bought their 6-month package. I really didn't send that many emails but sent enough to see how much of a meat market it is. There's more women with free profiles that can't really reply to your emails unless they pay.

But that's not the point.

My membership expired last week. 2 days after the expiration I get an email from match saying literally:

Subject: "Someone has emailed you"
Body: "Something about you caught her eye. She has already expressed interest, find out who she is! Hurry...Find out who emailed you and connect today"

Obviously I cannot read the email and see who this "mysterious" woman is unless I buy another subscription

Judge for yourself

 

[Jitterbug]

^^ Automated scheduled script. I wrote one of those once for an adult site. Standard procedure.

 

[Dust 2 Dust]

True story!!

I used to be on match.com and bought their 6-month package. I really didn't send that many emails but sent enough to see how much of a meat market it is. There's more women with free profiles that can't really reply to your emails unless they pay.

But that's not the point.

My membership expired last week. 2 days after the expiration I get an email from match saying literally:

Subject: "Someone has emailed you"
Body: "Something about you caught her eye. She has already expressed interest, find out who she is! Hurry...Find out who emailed you and connect today"

Obviously I cannot read the email and see who this "mysterious" woman is unless I buy another subscription

Judge for yourself

It sounds like match.com is sending out phony romantic emails to get you to sign up again. It's probably a bot/hired gun contacting you from behind a fake profile. i used to get these all the time from yahoo personals after my membership expired. Here's the kicker, I deleted my profile before cancelling my subscription so there was no way for a REAL woman to contact me anyway.:crackup:

 

[speakeasy]

Wow, yahoo did this!

I definitely knew about this behavior from lesser know sites (its so obvious) but I would never have suspected yahoo doing this.. lame.

Yeah, that happened to me on Yahoo. As I was trying to kill my account, all of a sudden I'm getting emails from HBs, when previously, I'd gotten emails from no one.

 

[speakeasy]

Go run a search on myspace with the same search criteria. You'll find very little difference.

So, we're getting the same thing - namely hot SWFs. Only I'm not paying a monthly fee for it.

Paying for something you can get for free is stupid regardless of how much it costs. You can go waste your money if you want.

One difference is, on match that HB is getting hit up dozens of times a day, on myspace she's getting hit up hundreds of times a day.

 

[speakeasy]

The online thing seems to work great for some guys, and not so for others. I know people that have met their future spouse on match and they are happy. If it isn't your niche though, then it isn't your niche.

 

[Prometheus69]

Be careful.

There is some suspicion that dating sites like e-harmony employ people to act as interested up until real-world interaction is requested. Essentially its a manually-operated fake profile. Doing so keeps desperate men on their site, looking for dates.

I have a strong suspicion of this as well.

The other thing to consider is that men tend to outnumber women on online dating sites up to a level of about 5 to 1.
So , even a woman that's a 3 or a 4 , after a while gets enough attention from AFC's that she starts to think and act as if she is an 8 or a 9 !

 

[LoneRanger]

I used to be on match.com and bought their 6-month package. I really didn't send that many emails but sent enough to see how much of a meat market it is. There's more women with free profiles that can't really reply to your emails unless they pay.

True. Very true.

In my match.com matches there are 5 pages of women who I match with. I'd say about 3 of those match pages are women who's profile are labled inactive "in 3 weeks." I my experiences, that means they are no longer logging in.

Not one "3 week"-er I've tried to contact has ever responded.

Most who are active never gave the courtosy of responding yes or no, anyway.

Just broke up today with a girlfriend who I met on Match.com. We had been going out for over a month, had a lot of fun, but ultimately turned out to be another childish 37 year old, single mother dud.

I am not going to do the on-line thing any more, meaning, in the 30 mile radius where I live I am screwed.

 

[StevenR]

I was exchanging emails with several women this last week, however I had a very busy couple of days and wasn't around a computer much. I finally emailed them all tonight even though I didn't feel like it, and really didn't put much thought into the emails. None of them have responded to me so far and I know most of them read their email. Oh well, at least my next week is freed up from having to meet with any of them.

 

[LoneRanger]

I was exchanging emails with several women this last week, however I had a very busy couple of days and wasn't around a computer much. I finally emailed them all tonight even though I didn't feel like it, and really didn't put much thought into the emails. None of them have responded to me so far and I know most of them read their email. Oh well, at least my next week is freed up from having to meet with any of them.

For some dopey reason, some women construe a "break" in communication as an insult, I find.

I've communicated with women online for 3 to 4 days in a row but skipped a day or two due to being busy or out of town. When I found time to reply back it resulted in nothing but silence.

Apparently momentum has to be kept up or some women may feel abandoned.

{Am I correct?}

 

[jophil28]

For some dopey reason, some women construe a "break" in communication as an insult, I find.

This applies on planet earth too. They get hissy if you dare to not feed them their ego drug - attention .
You need to be punished and brought back in line - hence the silence.
She thinks that you will be as mad as she was for being ignored.

NEXT these princesses .

 

[StevenR]

But this goes against the philosophy here of not being available all the time, the guy version of playing "hard to get"

*note-that wasn't my intention, I really did have some other problems, like going hiking in the mountains instead of sitting in front of a computer waiting for these chicks to email me

 

[Dust 2 Dust]

I do online dating, but I don't initiate contact with women. I've found messaging women on online dating sites to be a waste of time for the most part. Every chick online that I've had success with were all ones that initiated contact with me.

Most online dating sites have a 5 to 1 ratio of guys to girls. The average woman receives 10 messages a day and HB's can receive as many as 100 messages a day while the average guy may receive 1-2 messages per month if he's even lucky.

Online dating should only be used as a supplement to real world approaches.