Online advice/critique needed asap!

[atlantadawg]

So, Reader's Digest: threw up a profile online for ****s n' giggles, in addition to real world efforts. Looking young (25 - 30) for the most part, as, best I can tell. over 35 and online = trainwreck. I'm 42. People guess I'm 30 - 35, at most, so can pull it off, no worries. I'm handsome, witty, make 6 figures, etc., so I feel like I've got all the requisite stuff to pull this off. Need advice asap, though, on wording on how to overcome the age thing.
Here's some discussion between myself and this hot 25 yo teacher, as an example:

Me: Love your profile.
You really come across as intelligent, seem to have a great head on your shoulders, and know what you want out of live; very impressive!
To be clear, I'm a bit older than what you're looking for (but people regularly guess I'm 33 - 35), however I am very clear on who I am and where I'm going, just looking for a partner in crime that can keep up!
Check out my profile and let's chat.
Look forward to speaking and have a great day!


Her: You are very attractive and no I wouldn't guess 41, but we are definitely in different places in life. I still eat Lunchables every now and then lol I wish you the best, but I'd probably be like a 2nd daughter to you. Good luck on here with the crazies.

Me: Well, that's certainly the most flattering 'no' I've gotten in some time. Not one to chase, but we may not be as far off as you'd think, so open to reconsideration on your part. At any rate, good luck on here as well, it's kind of like bizarro world from what I've seen thus far! ;-)
Happy Holidays as well!

Her: Why can't you be ten years younger? Most messages I get in here mAke me cringe. Finally a nice one, but I just don't think it would be right for me. Grrrrr



---
So...what's my play here, fellas? Some definite IOI, I think; any way to spin this into a date? I'm thinking so, but looking for some advice on how...also, more broadly, should I be addressing the age thing like I did initially with her? Any other advice from the old guard re: gaming the young ones online?
TIA

 

[nismo-4]

Typical Atlanta wh0re.

Seriously, that was a blowoff. Block that ho. If she was interested, she'd relocate Stone Mountain to see you. It's not that hard to type out 10 numbers and say call me. And she damn sure wouldn't say she's in 2 different places if Josh Smith messaged her.

Just move on. She ain't interested.

Case closed.

 

[atlantadawg]

Typical Atlanta wh0re.

Seriously, that was a blowoff. Block that ho. If she was interested, she'd relocate Stone Mountain to see you. It's not that hard to type out 10 numbers and say call me. And she damn sure wouldn't say she's in 2 different places if Josh Smith messaged her.

Just move on. She ain't interested.

Case closed.

I get that, no big deal.
Plenty of others out there; more interested in hearing advice on how to play the age thing online overall.

 

[atlantadawg]

What about the exchange came off as needy and/or desperate?
Not being defensive, I want to learn and improve, so don't hold back.
I'm much, much better in the real world, and haven't tried online in over a decade, so I'm admittedly rusty.
The initial message she replied to is a basic template that I've been tweaking relative to what's in their respective profile. ('Love to travel too!,' blah, blah, blah) Any advice on the best initial template to roll with? All for shortening it up some, as others have suggested.
No problem w/ lying about my age; like I said, I look at most 35. What's the magic number to go w/ there? I'm thinking 35 - 36...
Like I said in OP, I have my life together. In great shape, great career, charming, witty, yada, yada, yada; just need some advice on how best to get that to come across online as well...
TIA

 

[Vulpine]

Lie about your age?

That's advice we're giving around here?

Lie to women online?

I had no idea my gal was 9 years younger than I was for something like 10 months into the relationship and my family asked her in front of me. We just didn't care to know. You know how that worked like that? I met her in real life.

This is part of how online reason is a video game for women: the shopping list.

Online dating is a video game made for women. Go out in real life and women won't be concerned about your age.

This chick is just saying "no" to get more attention from you. That's it, she just wants to keep playing the game. I'd tell her: "You're right. Age does matter: I prefer women 15 years younger, for obvious reasons."

See if she likes negative attention as much.

 

[atlantadawg]

Lie about your age?

That's advice we're giving around here?

Lie to women online?

I had no idea my gal was 9 years younger than I was for something like 10 months into the relationship and my family asked her in front of me. We just didn't care to know. You know how that worked like that? I met her in real life.

This is part of how online reason is a video game for women: the shopping list.

Online dating is a video game made for women. Go out in real life and women won't be concerned about your age.

This chick is just saying "no" to get more attention from you. That's it, she just wants to keep playing the game. I'd tell her: "You're right. Age does matter: I prefer women 15 years younger, for obvious reasons."

See if she likes negative attention as much.

My expectations for anything online are extremely low, thought I already made that clear.
I'm crazy busy between career and now playing single Dad 50% of the time, so I see it as just some additional 'lines in the water' type thing.
Just working on the assumption that I might as well have the most effective bait on those lines that I can have, ya dig?

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear Atlanta Dawg,
Bradds is the best advice...lower your age to 32...couple of photos beside a Porshe or Mercedes sports...You like foreign cars...one of you with a flying helmet beside a light plane...bluff it through,it i9s just a game really!

 

[nismo-4]

Lie about your age?

Hell yeah! I do it and it only helps.

That's advice we're giving around here?

Lie to women online?

Women lie to us online, so why the f##k not?

I had no idea my gal was 9 years younger than I was for something like 10 months into the relationship and my family asked her in front of me. We just didn't care to know. You know how that worked like that? I met her in real life.

So she was attracted to you. Most thing like age become trivial when the woman's attracted to you.

This is part of how online reason is a video game for women: the shopping list.

Online dating is a video game made for women. Go out in real life and women won't be concerned about your age.

Women do have more power in online dating thanks to the league of beta orbiters. Women are concerned about your age when they have low interest.

This chick is just saying "no" to get more attention from you. That's it, she just wants to keep playing the game. I'd tell her: "You're right. Age does matter: I prefer women 15 years younger, for obvious reasons."

See if she likes negative attention as much.

She'll either block him or ignore him because he refuses to be an orbiter.

Read between the lines.

 

[Vulpine]

Hell yeah! I do it and it only helps.
...
Women lie to us online, so why the f##k not?

I can't believe I'm reading the advocation of being a garbage person to get women.

A woman slaps you, so slap her back better somehow?

Be a better garbage person?
Go online and trick women into meeting you?

Honestly, don't "rise above", "stoop to"?

You have got to be ƒucking kidding me.

A god-damned moderator, of THIS forum, saying that being a lying piece-of-sh¡t to get women is the way to go?

I should be a greasy low-life, now, not a Man?
I should be ashamed of my qualities and lie to mask them?


That's crap advice.
You might as well slip them some special k in their drink while you're being a dirtbag.

Lie to women online.
Case closed.

 

[Vulpine]

Two moderators advocating misrepresenting yourself to get laid.

Fantastic.

ah ok then the OP can be honest about his age and continue getting..

wait a second, he's been doing just that and getting absolutely nowhere. I guess he should just continue banging his head against the wall.

I'd never advise someone to continue online dating.

OP, follow Vulpine's advice and let the rest of us know exactly how far being honest and telling women how you feel gets you.:crackup:

Moderators giving out crap advice and flame baiting now, too?
:crackup:?
Did I type anything about "telling women how you feel"? No. And it's ultra-weak to use women's shaming to defend crap advice. Come on... tacking on some ridiculous sh¡t to "Vulpine's advice" and billing it as the same? Argue like a man...

And nobody is telling atlantadawg do slip K in a drink or any other such nonsense. This hyperbole and exaggeration is not really helping the OP at all. Where are you getting this? And advocating hitting women? Nobody said anything even remotely along these lines.

Where do you draw the line when it comes to being a shady ƒucker, then? First, get laid by lying to women. Then... ? If it's ok to be a shady ƒucker, how is it not ok to be a shady ƒucker? You're trying to say that drugging and hitting women is shady, but lying to them isn't? It's all the same shadiness to me.

Do you think that successful men don't lie? If you think that this is the case then you're an extremely naive individual.

Sure, successful con-artists lie. Greasy used-car salesmen lie. Congressmen lie. They are successful liars. They are successful fakes, phonies, and frauds.

Rapists don't tell you they are rapists, do they? "Hey, let me in so I can rape you." No, they are likely liars, too, since they are shady ƒuckers.

The message you are giving is: "OP, don't bother having confidence. Lie about your perceived shortcomings instead."

It blows my mind that, instead of back-peddle and admit that lying to get women is shameful behavior that only sh¡tty people would resort to, you would attempt to further argue that lying is a proper method to get laid. "Hell yeah! I'm a sh¡tty person! And I'd advise anyone to be sh¡tty, too!"

You're a couple of real classy guys, you two. Real "prizes" to be won. Successful liars.

Lying to get püssy is stealing. You cheat someone out of their time and choice. I've been lied to, drugged, hit... by women. Does that green-light me to reciprocate that brand of poor behavior? Those women are shady ƒuckers, and now I know to avoid them, not act like them.

We should advise atlantadawg to workout, do the DJ bootcamp located down below, behind the "the DJ Bible" link on the left, and strive to approach women confidently in real life; not lie to women while hiding behind a screen.

I can say, based on my experience online trying to game the target audience of 25-32 when I was 33, that atlantadawg is perpetually going to run into that "shopping list" barrier, be it age, income, whatever. I didn't compromise my integrity to overcome the obstacle, I deactivated my account, instead. If unrealistic women trying to achieve a Disney fantasy were all I was to find there, then, there's no sense in going there. It was best to focus my energies in the real world, and to show off my baby face to women in real life. atlantadawg, I look ten years younger, too, especially with a fresh shave and ball cap. There is a reason women are online: they can't meet people in real life. What does that tell you about them? Does that mean they are ultra-premium specimens? Or, does that mean they are the dredges, the scummers, and the bottom-of-the-barrel leavings?

Why, oh why, would you compromise your integrity to "win" those "prizes"? At least you can maintain some dignity from renting a hooker; there is no honor in lying to get garbage online. None. It's shameful on top of shameful. Online dating is a last-chance resort for derelicts.

If "sh¡ts and giggles" were what you were going for, certainly you've found the sh¡t, there's no helping that. But, what about those "giggles"? I'm afraid there is only more frustrating nonsense in store for you online.

At least you are honest about your motivations to play the video game: "for sh¡ts and giggles" (in addition to real life). Women would say: "I can't find a good guy" or "I'm too busy to date" to justify playing the video game, even though the truth is likely "I'm a trainwreck", like you pointed out. Don't be like those liars, and don't pander to women online.

Sorry nismo-4 is a moderator/admin and you are not allowed to ignore him or her.

Sorry bradd80 is a moderator/admin and you are not allowed to ignore him or her.

Ah... but I AM allowed to ignore him or her.

 

[Eco-J]

So, I'm in the same situation as you - 40's, busy, 50% custody, and who doesn't like going out with a young hottie?

I don't lie about my age on-line. In part, because I think it's important to own who you are - damn right I'm good enough for you regardless of how old I am. Sure, this will result in you getting screened out by some on-line, since your age is right out there (which is why meeting someone in the real world is a better way to match up with someone younger since you've made enough of an impression already by the time they ask your age), but there are plenty who respond regardless of their stated preference. If they like what they see they'll respond.

I do think your message comes off a little needy, in that you're being defensive from the get go - "I really look 35." She sees what you look like from your pics - by explaining it, it just makes it seem like you think it's a problem that needs to be addressed. And it's not a problem that can be explained away on-line -- you're not going to move someone from "you make me feel like a 2nd daughter" to "let's fvck" unless they've got some other red flags out there! And yes, while her blow off was polite, she was pretty clearly not interested.

Keep putting lots of lines in the water and you'll get responses.

 

[atlantadawg]

JFC, this Vulpine guy is an idiot.
Look, numb nuts, to clarify: I'm in great shape, and have no issues meeting women IRL. I'm in sales, in a highly competitive industry, so confidence and $ to back it up aren't an issue. I build rapport with people for a living, dumbass.
As I said, I figured it wouldn't hurt to have some additional lines in the water because I have a very busy career and am single Dadding it 50% of the time.
Very. Low. Expectations. (For about the 3rd time...)
Just seeking advice on how to best position myself in that game, as I haven't been online in a long ass time.
Appreciate the good advice from others...cheers

 

[yoyoing]

OP you Have to lie about your age !

Get things going and after a couple of dates disclose your real age if you feel she likes you.

My GF is 7 years older then me and she lied about her age. She told me after 2-3 dates it will make a funny story if you 2 hook up. I always tease my gf with this.
You tell her you lie about your age because you were tired of being hit on by older women.
This is what I call a white lie...
Nobody get hurt
You take younger women on date !!!
Win-win !!!

 

[atlantadawg]

^ exactly. OP, I had a really hot girl message me, she was a Megan Fox lookalike. Originally, I thought she was 26 but after like two or three dates she fessed up and told me she was 28. She made up some bs about how her friends did up her profile and bla bla bla you get the idea.. did i care that she lied about her age? Hell no! I just continued on my merry way and kept fvcking her!

Women may care a bit more about it then guys do, but bottom line is, just give it a try and see if it works. No harm in giving it a shot. If a girl really likes you, and once she starts to get feelings for you, she won't care how old you really are.

Now, a lot of guys may not want to lie about their age or anything else and that's cool. There are downsides: you end up being paranoid about being found out, you keep worrying about how you'll break it to her if you hit it off etc. But in the world of pof and match .com land, you'll find that 95% of the time, you'll only be banging these girls anyway.

On a practical level, I have found that lying to women sometimes works. For example, lies can be useful on girls who are seeking long-term relationships when you are seeking something short-term. Another example is if you’re only in a certain town for two weeks, and you lie about staying permanently, this could very well propel you to a bang where honesty wouldn’t. Lies about your backstory could also help. If you’re an Afghan man in a city in southern California and find that all girls there hate Afghani men, lying about being Spanish instead could help you get the bang (assuming you could pull it off).

On a real level, these lies only help when you want to score a notch. But this is, after all, what I'm trying to help you do. If you want something more serious, lies will constrain you into a tight box and also increase your level of paranoia where you constantly fear the girl discovering your lie, making the relationship much less enjoyable than if you were truthful from the start. Then again you may not have banged her if you were truthful, creating a dilemma that all men face when it comes to whitewashing their perceived flaws. Understandably, some guys don’t like lying about things like ethnicity, age, and length of time they're staying in a city because they get less pleasure from being with a woman if they have to pretend to be someone they're not, but I for one am more than willing to do so if I think it will help. I operate on a case-by-case basis.

Generally, I’ve found that the more honest I can be with my background, the more enjoyable the relationship is. On the other hand, it’s worth stressing that I’m never honest with my feelings, since that would convey neediness, decreasing a girl’s attraction for me. So what a guy chooses to be honest about may change from one individual to another. With honesty I’m only talking about the facts that make me who I am, not my thoughts or desires, which must be concealed, only revealed as part of a strategic move.

While I have just explained that I prefer being mostly upfront, besides some targeted omissions, I don’t see a moral problem with lying to women for sex as long as one condition is held: you consider yourself a good man. If a girl’s life will be somehow enhanced by your lie in that she will get to experience something pleasurable or positive, I don’t see the lie as immoral. If lying to a girl will cause her to enter a relationship with you where she will be happier than not, you could argue that you’re actually hurting her by not lying

It's like I could've written the bolded part myself; really well put. I'm transparent as **** in the real world, just, again, not used to the weird level of nuance and the real time display of the hamster at work that online dating seems to be today. And sure as hell have no problem with a little moral relativism now and again.