Oneitis

martins

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damn, i've had this for like this whole year. I just want to ask is it possible to get some girl, if you have already made a LOT of AFC-mistakes and she is probably on low opinion about me.. I haven't talked to her for some time now, so things have cooled up. Could there be any chance, if I tried? I just can't forget her, been clubbing every weekend since I got 18, Nothing. See her every day at school that makes it harder. At least I could try anything before summer... orwait till next year, maybe I'll find someone else, if I don't I'll try then with her 100%. Anyways, have no idea what should I do. Any suggestions?
 
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martins said:
damn, i've had this for like this whole year. I just want to ask is it possible to get some girl, if you have already made a LOT of AFC-mistakes and she is probably on low opinion about me.. I haven't talked to her for some time now, so things have cooled up. Could there be any chance, if I tried? I just can't forget her, been clubbing every weekend since I got 18, Nothing. See her every day at school that makes it harder. At least I could try anything before summer... orwait till next year, maybe I'll find someone else, if I don't I'll try then with her 100%. Anyways, have no idea what should I do. Any suggestions?
Is it possible? Yes. Do you want to be waiting on it? Probably not.

I've been through oneitis. Actually i think most people in this forum will have been through it, and let me tell you: it is NOT a good state of mind. I know that right now you believe that this girl is special, and there's really not much i can say to make you think otherwise, but in my case, my oneitis actually turned out to be quite a disappointment once i was no longer obsessed with her.

There are tons of beautiful, intelligent, caring, funny women out there. There's no point in staying emotionally attached to someone that doesn't care about you. Move on to the next one, bro.

Take care.
 

TheAnswer_

Don Juan
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Listen to this advice man. DO NOT go after your oneitis. You already have shown her too much. She thinks you are a AFC and while you can change this, are you willing to go another year attempting to get this one girl? I tell you this because I recently tried to hook up with oneitis after improving my game and guess what? I got played because I jagged the chance I had. You did the same thing. She was playing me like a fool and if you attempt to get with this girl she will do the same thing to you. Don't dwell on the past brother move on to the future. It's tough, I know from firsthand experience. Waste your time on this one girl and this one girl will waste time on you. Move on; newer and better things. Don't make the same mistake I made.
 

Analyzeit

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Oneitis sucks, now i don't get it anymore and i don't know what to do with my clear head.

The other person was right it is possible to get her, but all that'll happen (most likely) is you'll go out with her, get even more attached yaddha yaddha yaddha break up, and you still have onitis and want her back.

The bad thing about relationships based on oneitis is that you probably like her a lot more then she likes you, and an uneven relationship from the start is bad, you'll come off desperate (by accident) and just other bad things i'm sure you can think of some.

You see, thats why i don't get one oneitis, because i don't understand it, what the fvck do you expect when you get her, fvcking wedding and kids and i'm sure you don't and if you do i'm sure as fvck she doesn't and if you do you've got bad problems and if she also does she just as screwed up, the only few points of anything other then an OST at this stage in life and that is companionship, just you know someone to hang out with and Seconds, seconds is always better then a one night and fvck, thirds is even better and it pretty much only gets better (as long as you make sure it does) other then that theres a nice messy breakup and it's over.... with this knowledge why bother with oneitis

My mates always laugh at me because i wouldn't care if a girlfriend cheated on me, i'd just dump her. Wouldn't even try pick a fight with the guy and why would i, chances are he didn't even know. It's not his fault. They used to always ask me why don't you care?? and i'd say the same "She's just a fvckbuddy with a little more respect, and second she cheats she loses that respect which makes her just a fvckbuddy and what do i care if my fvckbuddy fvcks another dude we not attached" now thats the attitude i think everyone should have at this stage in life about girlfriends

One thing that is not pointed out enough, is that women get oneitis aswell and they are also not all naturals at there game, most of them are actually really sh!t, they just have the advantage of guys not caring about that other stuff. Thats exactly why oneitis's are ****, you've already (I Think) made it obvious your interested in her, and if she did she would of said back, but in saying that they do change there minds

Put one last shot in I say and make it VERY obvious using the advice on this website and others, that you are not trying to be friends. I don't see any harm and trying but you still need to get out of this oneitis head space so go for other chicks aswell, and if nothing happens it's good practise anyway. Now i believe in trying for your oneitis you only regret the things you don't do, but you still need to get over her

DO NOT WAIT TILL NEXT YEAR, the last thing you need is more waiting, what you need is quick confirmation, it's either yes or no then get over it..... simple
 

jeffthechef

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I wouldn't deter you entirely from pursuing your oneitis. The catch is that you should only attempt to do so if you have gotten to the point where she's not your oneitis anymore. That's where the problem is with most guys, including me a few months ago. I would force myself into believing my oneitis was over and justify trying to get her.

So when do you know you're over her?
Be able to be in the same room with her or walk by her without looking at her or thinking about her. Be able to last a whole week without thinking about her obsessively. Be able to check out other girls. Be able to stop fantasizing about what it would be like if you were with her.

You also mentioned you've done many afc things, so have i. I simply cut off any interaction/contact with her for a few months. Now, she's coming back to places i hangout. Send a signal telling her you're not an afc anymore. After some time, say hi again and number close real soon after that conversation. within a week or so.

BUT, if she's someone you're already good friends with...Then it's entirely different.

Summary: it's possible, but i wouldn't recommend it until you have fully matured into more of a dj/alpha. Go pursue other girls and master your game before you try again or else you will fail again, leaving an even slimmer chance of getting with her.
 
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