OK...got a girl eating out of my hand, but DAMNITT if I don't long for something more between us, .........as of right now we've been seeing each other for about a month, she's chased me around.... blah blah , ****ed me, sucked me....brought me lunch, but slowly I feel my power fading, she's going through some tough stuff in her life, but tonight I feel I made an error in telling her that I would be there for her if she needed me! Is that so ****in' bad!???? ****.........GAWD THIS SUCKS........I'm thinking about ending it now before I put her on the pedestal she longs to be on...and then things are sure to go bad....!!! At least it always has in the past....do I have to end it to keep her wanting? She is 30, so she is fairly mature, and she has always been money SO FAR,...but she is an HB....extremely pleasing to the eyes...BUT SO AM I....any suggestions????
Oneitis SUCKS
- Thread starter dax
- Start date
I made a post about basically the same thing awile back, but I do believe I used less caps in the process.
I realized that in the process of doing the whole DJ thing I accidently charmed one that I ended up liking...scary stuff. So much of this stuff is based around avoiding rejection by making sure that 'your da man' and keeping a massive barrier between your actions and anything you may feel...a hollow existance with a sad ending.
I would truly regretted if I had dropped my oneitis girl simply because I was afraid of losing control...
Hamno
Its a meeting of two equals, not one on a pedestal or one in control
I realized that in the process of doing the whole DJ thing I accidently charmed one that I ended up liking...scary stuff. So much of this stuff is based around avoiding rejection by making sure that 'your da man' and keeping a massive barrier between your actions and anything you may feel...a hollow existance with a sad ending.
I would truly regretted if I had dropped my oneitis girl simply because I was afraid of losing control...
Hamno
Its a meeting of two equals, not one on a pedestal or one in control
Thanks Hamno, .......the ****ty part is this....she has made it clear that she is crazy about me....and inside I am her....hell I think I even told her once....I don't want to jinx things by because it has been my experience, that the MINUTE you put a HOT ***** on the pedestal she longs to be on......it's downhill from there on out.............but she just keeps working on me....calling me, ****ing me, telling me all those sweet little nothings, .....lately I've been making myself more available, answering her phone calls, or calling her right back, and inside it's killing me.....so I feel the need to just stop it in it's tracks......DON JUANS of the board.....when do you start to trust? When do you open up? When do I become money to her?.......................LOVE IS A FOOL'S GAME.
Dax
Dax
One-itis
One-itis, I actually think the goal of most guys is to be able to get a girl that gives us one-itis. Dude I understand about the barriers you have put up. But if you dump every girl that you start caring about who do you think you will end up with, someone you didn't really care that much about.
When in a one-itis situation you have to realize that yes you are there. But also realize that if doesn't work it doesn't work and you can and will walk away.
Alot of guys on this board(and off of it as well) aren't ready for that kind of intensity, maybe you are one of them. I have broken up with women because I wasn't ready for that kind of intensity.
What I realized was this:
I'm going after girls that give me one-itis, otherwise there is no real point. If it works out great, if not, well I got the skills to meet more women and with time I can meet another women that gives me one-itis. I might go through longer dry spells than other guys, but when I do finally get there . . . I get there with someone that I am excited to be with.
One-itis, I actually think the goal of most guys is to be able to get a girl that gives us one-itis. Dude I understand about the barriers you have put up. But if you dump every girl that you start caring about who do you think you will end up with, someone you didn't really care that much about.
When in a one-itis situation you have to realize that yes you are there. But also realize that if doesn't work it doesn't work and you can and will walk away.
Alot of guys on this board(and off of it as well) aren't ready for that kind of intensity, maybe you are one of them. I have broken up with women because I wasn't ready for that kind of intensity.
What I realized was this:
I'm going after girls that give me one-itis, otherwise there is no real point. If it works out great, if not, well I got the skills to meet more women and with time I can meet another women that gives me one-itis. I might go through longer dry spells than other guys, but when I do finally get there . . . I get there with someone that I am excited to be with.
penkitten
Master Don Juan
is this oneitis or is this where you are falling for her?
i believe there is a difference.
oneitis- feelings you have that are not returned.
falling for her - dating someone and you are starting to fall for her and there are chances she could be falling for you.
just watch , if she doesnt fall for you in return , and form a ltr with you, then simply tell her that you dont want to continue things the way they are and wish her well in life and end it and move on.
i believe there is a difference.
oneitis- feelings you have that are not returned.
falling for her - dating someone and you are starting to fall for her and there are chances she could be falling for you.
just watch , if she doesnt fall for you in return , and form a ltr with you, then simply tell her that you dont want to continue things the way they are and wish her well in life and end it and move on.
Ok so I turned on my cell phone....a minute ago because I had it turned off last night....first message from HB says..."Hope you're having a great day, I MISS U"......That is an awesome feeling to have a beautiful woman of her caliber missing me...but on the other hand...the thing I realize about women,...is the "mind" and the way they think is what drives them"....we didn't see each other last night...so she stewed about that and how it made her feel...right???.....so why ruin that with a response of how I miss her too.....does any of this make sense....hahahah!!!??? But the truth is I did miss her too....
Things I have learned from this board that are tried and true....
1. Do not give up status in exchange for her attention and approval.
2. Do not be clingy, needy, and insecure
3. Lead
4. Do not be insecure, approval-seeking in anyway toward her.
5. Understand that she is a woman.
6. Understand attraction and why you cannot attach logic to it.
1. Do not give up status in exchange for her attention and approval.
2. Do not be clingy, needy, and insecure
3. Lead
4. Do not be insecure, approval-seeking in anyway toward her.
5. Understand that she is a woman.
6. Understand attraction and why you cannot attach logic to it.
wheelin&dealin
Master Don Juan
The most powerful people in the world have tremendous control over their emotions. They get shut down, rejected, have their heart torn out and stomped...
...but what do they do?
They get right back up and they can block out the bad memories.
My suggestion, read some books by Tony Robbins and other motivational speakers, also psychology books are good.
...but what do they do?
They get right back up and they can block out the bad memories.
My suggestion, read some books by Tony Robbins and other motivational speakers, also psychology books are good.
But, I guess I feel it's almost like she's testing me.....am I gonna be there and keep replying that I miss her too, calling her right back after she calls, ......remember the law of scarcity....people want what they can't have and that they think is scarce....right?
penkitten
Master Don Juan
dax, are you afraid of falling for her?
it appears from the thread here that she is falling for you to.
just go with it, enjoy the rush, and be patient. time will tell if she is testing you or not. i dont think she is.
it appears from the thread here that she is falling for you to.
just go with it, enjoy the rush, and be patient. time will tell if she is testing you or not. i dont think she is.
Horse Whisperer
Don Juan
Crikey O'Reilly... This is terrible - you seem to be getting into a state because a girl seems to be into you. I blame this forum! 
I too have uttered the fateful "I'll be there for you if you need me" line. Cringe factor 10 million let me tell you. I remember relaying a similar story to a DJ friend of mine once and he just put his head in his hands and groaned in horror when I told him I had told a girl that.
The good news is, the lady seems to be into you! :cheer:
I reckon you just need to stay calm, get rid of the mobile phone and perhaps show her a little less attention to reclaim the situation to keep her on her toes!
Best of luck
I too have uttered the fateful "I'll be there for you if you need me" line. Cringe factor 10 million let me tell you. I remember relaying a similar story to a DJ friend of mine once and he just put his head in his hands and groaned in horror when I told him I had told a girl that.
The good news is, the lady seems to be into you! :cheer:
I reckon you just need to stay calm, get rid of the mobile phone and perhaps show her a little less attention to reclaim the situation to keep her on her toes!
Best of luck
Be carefull....this sounds oh to familiar. I was in your shoes about 3 months ago.
I was dating this great girl(so I thought) for about 8 months and I was going through the same sh!t your going through. This girl was crazy about me but I was proceeding very cautiously because I had just came out of a divorce. She would always text me the same stuff yours is doing with you, but a part of me just wasn't sure that this girl was the one and she started pressuring me a bit about wanting to know the way I felt about her. Over the last few months we dated her persistance seemed to be working on me because I fell in love with her but for some reason I was still scared about the marriage thing but when I told her this she always told me that sometimes in marriage you have to take a chance!! I'm sorry, but I don't think marriage is something you should take a chance with. Anyhow she reeled me in and when she knew she had me, she did a 180 on me and left me standing there like a loser. It has taken me 3mos to get over this sh!t and now that I look back I know it was the right thing to happen. I think it hurt my pride more than anything though.
I think if you have any doubt at all, DON"T DO IT!! When you find your soulmate you will know without a doubt that they are the one!
wheelin&dealin
Master Don Juan
Hahahahaha....
That's the greatest line I've ever heard!
wheelin&dealin
Master Don Juan
Here's how I feel about that soulmate bullsh*t...
99% of the population settles for what they can get in a mate and then since they are too gutless to risk asking out anyone else or believing that they can do better, they trick themselves into thinking they have found their soulmate. Sound about right?
Thats exactly why I said if you have any doubt at all and your not 100% sure then don't get married. And I wouldn't put the number at 99%. There are alot of people that are happily married but there are alot more that are not. Marriage is something that you have to work at to make it last. Have you ever been married?? You can't just say "I do" and think it will last. Thats why if your not 100% sure before you do it your not going to put 100% in a marriage to make it last. Thats why I think the older you are the wiser you are to making decisions about marriage. So many young people are getting married these days before they have time to enjoy life. I think the marrying age should be around 30 years old, but then again this is just my opinion...
