ONEITIS - Lets Be Honest

[comote]

I understand about the killing of oneitis but I have developed a different prospective lately.

What good is being able to get any women if you don't really want any one woman that badly.

Is the point simply to have sex?

Basically it comes down to this,

In order to win the game you have to be willing to walk away, but then you end up with someone whom you were willing to walk away from.

Call it AFC, I could really give a phuck, but I am starting to think that what I really want is not the ability to conquer oneitis, but to have such a strong game that I could get the girl that gives me oneitis.

 

[I'm Joe Dirt]

Very flawed post.

This post only applies to you if you want to be a "player for life". Following this posts advice you will never have a real relationship or eventually marriage or anything else.

Some people here take this DJ stuff to a very scary extreme. Its like to them being a DJ means being a heartless jerk who doesn't care about women and only wants to use them for sex.

 

[aftershock]

"Oneitis" = "lust"

"Love" is what you get in a LTR if you do things right, is not oneitis, and can actually be quite good. The dumping/rejection is the same as oneitis but they are completely seperate things!

Remember this.

I've come to realise that "oneitis" isn't actually that bad, if its mild. In the past I've actually quite enjoyed focussing my efforts on one girl, and when you get her its all the more satisfying. There the moments you live for. If it doesn't work out, what the hell, who cares!

 

[Q-Pid]

I really think this article should be in the Bible.

I am a serial oneitis sufferer. While others have girlfriends, I merely have strings of missed oppurtunities. I'm sure if it wasn't for this i'd be better with women.

I'm overcomign it now though

 

[Microphone Fiend]

oneitis with a missed opportunity

yea i had/have that one.

The post is good up until the whole "dont not love women" section

 

[izza]

This is a great post.

Men, far too often we use women to cover up other emotional gaps in our lives. It's good to love women, but it's also good to love ourselves and feel loved without them.

Phenomenal post,

Izza

 

[Plain & Simple]

im glad i read this i suffer from onetis in the LTR i think its onetis number 2 and some other one too.

Im glad i already feel better, before i use to think about her 24/7 literally, i wanted to talk to her like 3, 4 times a day on the phone, and got mad when i didnt talk to her for the whole day, or when she didnt call me, man now ima start to focus on me and only me , ima make myself happy, and not depend on her or others to make me happy, that should be just the icing on the cake, but is not needed.


This had to be in the bible!!

 

[DonJuanMonk]

Oneitis is pretty hard to get rid of especially if you feel passion for the girl.

The only way through this is that you have to meet other girls and hope that there is another girl that you can feel passionate for, then your oneitis is cured.

Another way is to revenge against your oneitis for stringing along. It might blind you in your dark rage, but this will bring satisfaction to some of us.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

The easiest way to counter ONEitis is to spin more plates. The more irons you have going in the fire at one time the lower your odds of developing ONEitis with a single girl. I've used this analogy before, but it bears repeating - too many guys think that they need to be a sniper with regards to women; patiently waiting for a single solitary target to be open for his one shot. Concentrating all his effort and focus on his "one big chance" to prove to her (and himself) that she's "the ONE." Rather a man would be better served by using a shotgun and scattering his effort over many women and picking the ones that respond the best to them. It's spaghetti theory, throw enough against the wall and see what sticks.

When you're in sniper mentality you not only set yourself up for a harsh dissapointment when you blow your shot with your ONE target, the odds of ONEitis increase when and if she does respond favorably. Your head is where it starts - the main reason I bother to post on this site and ones like it is exactly because too many young men have been socialized into this scarcity mentality that directly leads to ONEitis. It's very counterproductive to both men and women in that women ultimately want a decisive man, but hinder a guy in this by controlling him, often quite indirectly, because the guy has internalized his ONEitis. One of the reasons older men seem so much more attractive to younger women in their maturity is because (hopefully) they've sorted this dynamic out from experience and posess this, for lack of a better term, 'fatherly' quality to them due to it. There's far too many young men that are 'pre-whipped' in this predisposition for ONEitis even when they have no girl to be the object of it.

 

[squirrels]

Originally posted by I'm Joe Dirt
Very flawed post.

This post only applies to you if you want to be a "player for life". Following this posts advice you will never have a real relationship or eventually marriage or anything else.

No. You're wrong. The men who are successful in marriage and relationships are still players...they just have one favorite toy they play with exclusively.

I can trace back the ends of most of my relationships and encounters with women to the point where I started thinking that I had to "think different" and "act different" if I "ever wanted to be in a meaningful relationship."

It was then I became boring, predictable, unsure of myself, overcompromising, and started to worry more about HER being happy and doing what SHE wanted instead of showing her the wonder and happiness in MY world.

And naturally, they lost interest. Every single f'king time.

Anyone who says the rules change once you get into a relationship...doesn't know crap about relationships. They don't "change". They're just oriented and interpreted a little differently.

You dont' want to believe it...I really don't either. It flies in the face of everything I've been taught. But it's true. Stop trying to justify your weak woman skills by pretending that weak and effeminate behavior is "appropriate for serious relationships."

 

[gettingstronger]

Re: recommended.

Originally posted by Marlimus
note to moderator: I nominate this post for the Don Juan bible.
Do I hear a second nomination?

I second that nomination right here right now.

Ive just been reading this whole post and all i can say is wow, its so true. My oneitus will cease because of this post. I too, have suffered oneitus with a girl for too long because i believed that she as the only girl for me. I mean ****!! , the original poster has got it spot on about this whole thing thats its not even funny. Ive wondered why my homeboys who have 3-4 girls at once never get hung up over any hoe. Men with oneitus are weak from within , as was pointed out in this post.

Something like this has to be put into the bible, great post

 

[Triple X]

Re: Re: recommended.

Originally posted by gettingstronger
I second that nomination right here right now.

Well, then I 'third' it.

Great post.

 

[arlanda]

Been there and it was a pain, trust me. The girl was cool but she led me to believe she's into me while she was keeping me as a backup only.

Actually, now I believe it's the "best" thing that ever happened to me. I learned a lot and I'm never gonna fall for this, ever! I can control my feelings better and stop when I see it's going bad direction.

Still, I have a question ...

Where's the line between neediness and persistence? I met this (quality) chick online, attracted her, asked for her # (she was just about to give it to me) but her gf ****blocked me, I told her goodbye like 3 times and each time she "ressurected" the thread (she couldn't believe I would just let go like it, lol).

I asked for the # second time, no reply for more than a week. In the meantime I disabled (befriended) the ****block gf.

Still, I'd like to get to know her better - I am not attracted easily but she made it. I could let go, though.

When do I say, enough is enough and leave?

 

[B-Lemond]

Just what I needed and when I needed it. Thank You.
Because of this I'll be able to get over. It's not as bad as all these other guys but it's just what I needed.

I "fourth" nominate this.

 

[gav]

i'm under the oneitis in an ltr category just now

the thing is, my burd has oneitis for me too. she says she's the opposite of pvssywhipped; she's willy whacked lol

anyways, i'm trying to come to grips with it. lately i've realised that what i've been doing is focussing on her all the time and not thinking about myself as if concentrating on me and having an ego would be the wrong thing to do. nuts

i'm well up on my theory; it's simple on paper: involve yourself in your passions so that they have more value than any bytch and improve yourself for yourself and nobody else.

just now, it's very hard for me to get into this state of mind, but i'm getting there, and i know i have to get there. otherwise the girl goes. she can't take up that much of my life.

 

[muttley]

Ok thx for the replies, i didnt know so many guys were in oneitis.

Theres another type of oneitis that a DJ can develop thats been trying to creep up on me since i rid my self of my 2-3 yr oneitis that was infected in me.

Oneitis of the DJ kind..
This is when u have improved your game/looks/confidence and think about an old oneitis girl that if she met you now you could game her better and make her IL reach sky high levels. This will draw you back into oneitis. Forget it, move on and game other chicks. Whats in the past is in the past and leave it like that. Dont fall into the trap of thinking "if she only met me now, or if i ever bump into her again...then ill knock her socks off! cos im a changed man, from afc to pimp daddy"

Again , forget it. Dont let that thought even cross your mind. If you do bump into her by any chance, then just be your normal comfortable self. She will notice that your different, or she wont notice - who cares. Your not in oneitis anymore and your free. Go about your business gaming other chicks and feeling happy

peace

muttley

 

[B-Lemond]

What is the difference between one-itis and love?

 

[PooMan]

I have oneitis! Badly! Ive met this gal once, i speak to her all the time on msn/texting!

Before we met we were so into each other, she told me "the balls in your court" i couldnt take control (like she said she likes men too) because her friends were always with us (i know wrong thing to do) then i made another stupid mistake

she said she was suprised that i didnt make a move, i told her i couldnt then i said something im never saying to a gal again "i really love it when a girl is a challenge" since then shes changed! Shes loving being the challenge and now its got to the point where i dont know if shes intrested and being a challenge or just not intrested!

I think about ways of finding out everyday, everytime i talk to her!

Its so hard! I just want one chance with her!

I hate oneitis!

 

[B-Lemond]

Originally posted by PooMan
I have oneitis! Badly! Ive met this gal once, i speak to her all the time on msn/texting!

Before we met we were so into each other, she told me "the balls in your court" i couldnt take control (like she said she likes men too) because her friends were always with us (i know wrong thing to do) then i made another stupid mistake

she said she was suprised that i didnt make a move, i told her i couldnt then i said something im never saying to a gal again "i really love it when a girl is a challenge" since then shes changed! Shes loving being the challenge and now its got to the point where i dont know if shes intrested and being a challenge or just not intrested!

I think about ways of finding out everyday, everytime i talk to her!

Its so hard! I just want one chance with her!

I hate oneitis!

Is this PeterCrouch?

 

[arlanda]

Originally posted by bluelemond
What is the difference between one-itis and love?

It doesn't matter. What matters is you need to stay in control, and always keep a little distance!