Oneitis in the past /present?

[CoandaEffect]

First one was when I was at university in 1985. A few years ago I was using the internet to find old friends. I was able to find her. She has done very well for herself, she has her own very successful PR firm. Because of that her photo is on the website. It was her, but she was not a patch on the girl I had oneitis for. Funny looking back on that now.

Second one (there have only been two) was at the end of 2019. Only one date, you know the story. She is the reason I learnt about RP and found this forum. In a way I’m better off because of her.

 

[coyote_astro]

The last one I had was in 2014, but I quickly got over it and I now feel like an idiot looking back at it. Ever since that I went all-in in inner work, self-improvement and never looked back. I am still attracted to beautiful women, of course, but never get it any more.
The hardest one for me was with an ex girlfriend in 2012-2013.

 

[Romanemp22]

Oneitis doesn't apply anymore and hasn't since I'd say 2010. Last I was in love was 2018, and last crush was last week haha.

Same with me. I got it once and never again.

 

[TheNewStyle123]

My friend is really hung up on a girl right now that is treating him like absolute garbage. She kicked him out of their apartment because she THOUGHT he was cheating on her, but had no actual evidence other than her own insecurities (long back story, but my friend did NOT cheat on this girl). He gave her a month to "think about things" and went to her place Friday with flowers and ready to discuss things. All month this dude has been going to therapy, bettering himself, working on personal goals, thinking about how to "win her back, etc.

He said the conversation went well, then 2 days later she texts him that she wants to talk again in the week because she is "still thinking about things and needs to get more off of her chest." I told him that she is trying to make him feel insecure just as he made her feel insecure and this is all calculated.... but he has MAJOR ONEitis. I know exactly what this girl is going to do to him and its like watching a car accident waiting to happen.

 

[Romanemp22]

My friend is really hung up on a girl right now that is treating him like absolute garbage. She kicked him out of their apartment because she THOUGHT he was cheating on her, but had no actual evidence other than her own insecurities (long back story, but my friend did NOT cheat on this girl). He gave her a month to "think about things" and went to her place Friday with flowers and ready to discuss things. All month this dude has been going to therapy, bettering himself, working on personal goals, thinking about how to "win her back, etc.

He said the conversation went well, then 2 days later she texts him that she wants to talk again in the week because she is "still thinking about things and needs to get more off of her chest." I told him that she is trying to make him feel insecure just as he made her feel insecure and this is all calculated.... but he has MAJOR ONEitis. I know exactly what this girl is going to do to him and its like watching a car accident waiting to happen.

When a girl blames you for cheating its actually her who is cheating, that's a way to dismiss her own guilt and to put blame on you .

You're friend needs to grow a pair and ditch that b1tch once and for all. He may not see it with his eyes right now put its the only way for him.

At least he needs to save his pride.

 

[TheNewStyle123]

When a girl blames you for cheating its actually her who is cheating, that's a way to dismiss her own guilt and to put blame on you .

You're friend needs to grow a pair and ditch that b1tch once and for all. He may not see it with his eyes right now put its the only way for him.

At least he needs to save his pride.

Dude, right? He sounds like such a simp on the phone.. I am trying to help him too but he's clueless. I keep giving him the example that I was MARRIED and was able to walk away from everything because my wife at the time was doing the exact same thing (down to the accusations of cheating when SHE in fact was the one cheating). I even gave him the example from TRM: "a woman going back to an abusive male is like a man compromising his own happiness and aspirations to fuel the insecurities of a women."

He's clueless.

 

[Romanemp22]

Dude, right? He sounds like such a simp on the phone.. I am trying to help him too but he's clueless. I keep giving him the example that I was MARRIED and was able to walk away from everything because my wife at the time was doing the exact same thing (down to the accusations of cheating when SHE in fact was the one cheating). I even gave him the example from TRM: "a woman going back to an abusive male is like a man compromising his own happiness and aspirations to fuel the insecurities of a women."

He's clueless.

He's gonna get burn real bad he needs to gtfo asap. I don't get it how can something like that happen to older guys.

 

[derby1]

Can you elaborate your current oneitis? What's causing your insecure to kick in?

hes been use to a regular source of Vag.......so the rug will have been pulled right from underneath him. sadly

 

[KindredSpiritzz]

2015 and i have had the agony of seeing her at work almost every day since. Fine as hell, awesome sex but i was just a place holder at a time in her life she was scared to be alone. Now she's married and her husband pops by work often bring her lunch.

 

[ThisIsSparta]

The last oneitis was my first LTR. That ended 20 years ago.
Though having had 3 more LTR in the last 20 years, i never loved a woman like my first girlfriend.

My heart got redpilled back then while my head was still bluepilled until 2018.

I am well past 200 first dates and 80 *****. If you ask me what warms my heart today, its my son and my cats.

Women will allways have a place in my bed, i find them cute and entertaining enough to give them some of my time. But i dont know if i will ever fall in love with one again.

Calling a woman "my oneitis" is not possible for a redpilled man, in my opinion.

 

[CoandaEffect]

2015 and i have had the agony of seeing her at work almost every day since. Fine as hell, awesome sex but i was just a place holder at a time in her life she was scared to be alone. Now she's married and her husband pops by work often bring her lunch.

That’s tough. Distancing yourself from her is always best. Another reason not to date someone you work with. How easy would it be for you to change jobs? Have you considered doing that?

 

[Romanemp22]

The last oneitis was my first LTR. That ended 20 years ago.
Though having had 3 more LTR in the last 20 years, i never loved a woman like my first girlfriend.

My heart got redpilled back then while my head was still bluepilled until 2018.

I am well past 200 first dates and 80 *****. If you ask me what warms my heart today, its my son and my cats.

Women will allways have a place in my bed, i find them cute and entertaining enough to give them some of my time. But i dont know if i will ever fall in love with one again.

Calling a woman "my oneitis" is not possible for a redpilled man, in my opinion.

Ofcourse it's possible because most of us had oneitis back when we were bluepilled. I was 17 close to 18yo I didn't know sh1t about women back then

 

[KindredSpiritzz]

That’s tough. Distancing yourself from her is always best. Another reason not to date someone you work with. How easy would it be for you to change jobs? Have you considered doing that?

it doesnt bother me much anymore but that first year was really rough. I now realize the POS she really is and count myself lucky i avoided anything long term. When i walk by i give her that smirk look of "yeah you know how i treated you like a slvt in bed and banged your azz like a hoe". I flash her hubby the smile of " yeah i banged your wife" when he stops by and i happen to see him

 

[Romanemp22]

2015, after my deployment. Brought me to the boards too.

She turned out to be a BPD. Took me a while to get the strength to leave.

Good call soldier