Oneitis, gym update

[Alvafe]

gym game works more if you can take her out of the gym, not right after, I mean ask her out, and when you go to your work out in the gym you concentrate on it and if you both are in the rest moment you talk briefly with each other, then back to the trainning.

the OP problem is, he think he don't need to hear us because he knows better, and don't want to belive he will fail, he like to think she is just playing hard to get, and don't want to think she is just not interested on him.

only fix to this is stop wondering, ask her out, if she like you she will go if not, you move on, improve yourself, and go out with other woman, maybe after sometime you will be good enough she will be interested in you, but if you are doing well now you wouldn't have time for her.

 

[Yewki]

Over the years (and I've been on this site for 10 years), I've increasingly regarded gym pick up in the same category as marriage: both in my opinion seem totally stacked in the woman's favor: the woman has nothing whatsoever to lose while the guy is expected to take all the risks, etc.

I wouldn't say gym game is bad because women have nothing to lose and guys do, it's just that the gym is a sh*tty place to meet people period. Everyone is generally preoccupied with their workout and not looking to socialize.

 

[oc16]

gym game works more if you can take her out of the gym, not right after, I mean ask her out, and when you go to your work out in the gym you concentrate on it and if you both are in the rest moment you talk briefly with each other, then back to the trainning.

the OP problem is, he think he don't need to hear us because he knows better, and don't want to belive he will fail, he like to think she is just playing hard to get, and don't want to think she is just not interested on him.

only fix to this is stop wondering, ask her out, if she like you she will go if not, you move on, improve yourself, and go out with other woman, maybe after sometime you will be good enough she will be interested in you, but if you are doing well now you wouldn't have time for her.

Well to be honest, you guys make it sound easier than it really is.
Gym game is tough, this girl is not in any of my classes and she is usually very focused on her workout and then you have to be very conscientious that you don't make it look like you are following her around. Then on the flip side, If I didn't care so much what this girl thought of me, I wouldn't be so aware if I was following her around or not and things would be alot more natural.

Which leads me to 110% believe the only way you won't overanalyze every little thing with a chick is to have at least three other prospects.

Anyhow, I experienced last night the only way to diminish oneitis is just to start thinking about other prospects.
Went out on tinder date last night with girl who was 28. She was cute and i liked her, not sure if she liked me, but that is okay.
I realized there are plenty of other girls I can connect with.
Today, my crush is still on my mind but it is diminished and I didn't feel depressed today
If I can get a couple more chicks, I will be walking around my crush much more indifferent to her reaction to me.

 

[salinechow]

Wow! Still pretty chump thinking but totally understandable and eons above my(potentially "our") expectations.

Dude, oc16, I am damn f^cking proud of you for allowing our advice to percolate into your existence. I am really proud you went on a date. I am really proud you are starting to choke down the red pill a little bit. I am real proud that you talked about yourself and your own perceptions instead of thinking about yourself through her or our eyes. There is serious hope for you!!!! Godd on ya buddy. I am impressed.

Your commitment to learning and listening is helpful to us all. As we type and read with you, so too do we learn. In your efforts you inspire!

I would say still though, take a bold and confidant shot at getting this girl out. Thats all you got left.

You are starting to see, you have nothing to lose, and rejection is nothing to fear. Also, I agree with others, the gym is tainted waters. So take your shot and move on either way. Enough kicking stones and puzzy footing around it. Be bold as hell and get her out. Even her rejection will give you peace at this point.

Proud of ya. Go get it.

 

[foreverAFC]

i like to jerk off before i go to the gym, otherwise i get too distracted by the women, it helps

 

[LiveYourDream]

I will be walking around my crush much more indifferent to her reaction to me.

Congratulations on the change!

Your increasing indifference to her will continue to amplify your confidence and your attractiveness to women. That is a big win-win for you! Keep at it.

 

[Alvafe]

I wouldn't say gym game is bad because women have nothing to lose and guys do, it's just that the gym is a sh*tty place to meet people period. Everyone is generally preoccupied with their workout and not looking to socialize.

you would be surprised, there is people and people, some will go to talk in any place they go, most people go to the gym to relax, and that means talking about nothing important, like you said some are concentrading on tehy training some not so much, plus depending on the size of it sometimes you will need to wait, for some space or machine to use.

@oc16

it shouldn't matter, you as her are going for the workout, you do what you have to do, if she thinks you are orbinting her let her think that, you are just training, you just find her cute and want to know her better, and like I siad only way to stop wondering is ask her out, you also say we make this look easier then its looks, the thing is it is this easy and simple, but you are worried about any social fallout can happen, here is the thing it won't, and if it does it won't matter, the ones who see it and are savy will just look at you with respect, if anyone else says otherwise or he is jealous, because you ahd the balls to do it, or is too beta to even belive you have the balls to do so and will think you are a jerk.

dude belive on this I have a friend personal trainer, he is pretty soft emotionally, thing is he can pull girl like hell with his looks alone, but he is normally jealous of me, simple because I have a quick wit and courage to do what I want, plus my confidence, that is what kills him more, i'm too confident on myself to let anyone say otherwise or even care what others think, and that piss him off lol

its all on your head, if you work on yourself and train not only your body but also your mind there will be nothing to fear

 

[oc16]

I read on one website that said oneitis also stems from the THE LAST woman that gave you or what you perceived to be , POSITIVE female attention (aka, looks, a smile, positive IOI's)

 

[oc16]

I found her on FB through some good detective work. No dudes in her pic, but then found her in some guys profile pic and read the comments. Boyfriend!
Now I have closure!!! I am happy......

 

[LiveYourDream]

I found her on FB through some good detective work. No dudes in her pic, but then found her in some guys profile pic and read the comments. Boyfriend!
Now I have closure!!! I am happy......

Not the ideal way to get it. You got closure. I am glad you feel free now. Never go stalk her on FB again. Leave her in your past forever! Move forward and never look back.

 

[badboyjmm]

Not the ideal way to get it. You got closure. I am glad you feel free now. Never go stalk her on FB again. Leave her in your past forever! Move forward and never look back.

Yeah, the stalking is weird but you got your answer. Funny how asking her out would of solve the issue (and possibly you would see that the possible ''rejection'' wouldn't be as bad)

I approach a girl that was watching me a few times at the gym. Had a few conversations and I ended up asking her out. Got the number but she never replied to my text and now she avoiding me. So really the rejection is not bad at all. This girl will always feel awkward about me being around in the gym simply because she could not say i'm not interested lol

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I agree, waste of mental energy. Gym approach is one of the most difficult mentally, more difficult than basically any other. Distracts from your workout, biased sample towards a more superficial and flaky woman("gym girl" is not quality), no clear IOI's except from the AW "help"(front desk AWs), "sh!tting where you eat", etc. Put it out of your mind, your gains from focus in the gym will likely reap 10x the rewards as asking women at the gym out.

Talk to her outside of the gym or in a yoga class or something.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

makes no difference unless you randomly run into her outside of the gym.

I was just saying it would be much more appropriate than breaking up her workout in the gym area.

 

[JohnChops]

If anyone comes up to talk to me at the gym I get pissed off, walk away, or throw my headphones on. Why go there to be social? Get your work done, and kill it. Fvck women at the gym. But if you do get this girl and it doesn't work out and you have to see her at the gym every day (or whatever your schedule is like), thatll blow some major ****, not in a good way either.

 

[Alvafe]

well op have his closure, in ' wrong way but its over.

now serious guys, you can't read people who are just training, or are willing to talk a little?

you don't really need to just to it with girls do with other dudes too, talk a little, be a little sociable, i'm seeing some people here too harsh on gym time, you go to train yes, but don't need to be a boring place you don't know anyone, knowing people makes you going that more enjoyable

 

[YawataNoKami]

Wow, you guys are harsh and probably just haters since 75% of you on here wouldn't show the pair of brass balls that I have in the past two weeks in dealing with their oneitis.

My incident today in gym was my third time initiating contact with her in two weeks. My main goal in doing so was to let her know in a subtle way I like her (if she can't see that, she is an idiot)

It doesn't look like she is\gonna take the bait and that is FINE.

Bottom line is , I am making myself vulnerable to rejection which most guys on here probably wouldn't do and it's only been a little over two weeks, not months or a year!

Basically, I have no regrets and now I don't have to wonder what if? Because I wasn't too shy to initiate contact.

I will CONTINUE to be friendly and nice to this girl with little expectations in return. What is the worst case scenario in this?and she just thinks I am a friendly , nice guy at the end of the day and maybe I will make a new friend.

Brass balls? Are you fvcking kidding me? A white guy approach to a black girl ,surrounded by her black male friends ........in Chicago. That is the definition of brass balls. Now this is a male si te and sometimes Men are harsh because you know we are Men. This site is not desing to protect your feeellliings or to provide you a safe space for microagressions. You ask questions and we answer, sometimes we are harsh.....Tough love. Bottom line we can treat like a man or like a cupcake, your choice.


And again gym =workout.

 

[salinechow]

Yeah, the stalking is weird but you got your answer. Funny how asking her out would of solve the issue (and possibly you would see that the possible ''rejection'' wouldn't be as bad)

I approach a girl that was watching me a few times at the gym. Had a few conversations and I ended up asking her out. Got the number but she never replied to my text and now she avoiding me. So really the rejection is not bad at all. This girl will always feel awkward about me being around in the gym simply because she could not say i'm not interested lol

Exact same thing happened to me actually, I think more than once. Gym is tough. These girls are daydreaming about you but then when the rubber meet the vag, they think" O god, now Ill have to see this guy all the time after I f^ck him? What if he sucks?" Girls, as we know disqualify and live entire lives before anything in reality ever sets in.

Also, go read my plea for help post with my oneitis, and lets hear what you have to say MR Brassballs. Give it right back my friend, its the best way to learn. What would I say to you?

I want you to do this so that you understand this is a community, you give, you take, you learn, you win, you fail, you digress, you PROGRESS. You state your claim but never complain. Comradery is not coddling, sometimes its a kick in the balls, thats how they turn to brass.

The greatest asset youll ever have is authenticity. Accept it. Be it.

P.S Onitis before you at least date a girl a few times, at LEAST! does not exist.