Oneitis, avoid it by watching this short video

RangerMIke

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You avoid obsession by not thinking about a woman so much that you are distracted from other options. I think this is good advice from young guys, but older ones... not so much. Younger women are still feeling out their power, and they get lots of attention, they haven't really figured out what they want, and they have a limited amount of time to figure this out, chicks typically have a 10 year window where no matter what they do, there will be a number of dudes that are just falling over themselves to please them. And these dudes get obsessed.... For older men, who have life experience, we know to look past all this and stay focused on what we want, because what 'she' wants is going to change like the wind.

But I do agree that chicks, with good mating strategy, will play the game of supplication and helplessness (regardless of age), because they know this triggers in dudes our instincts to protect and help women. It is instinctual for men to want to help and save women... if we did not have this instinct the human race would have died out eons ago. It provides the basis for the development of civilization since early in human development, tribes of men that worked together to protect and care for women and children of their tribe, were the tribes that survived and flourished.

You avoid falling into this trap by being selfish, and demanding reciprocation. It's okay to give, but make sure you are getting something in return. Because as soon as you put too much effort into a chick, you find yourself drawn in and thinking about her too much.
 

Robert28

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You avoid obsession by not thinking about a woman so much that you are distracted from other options. I think this is good advice from young guys, but older ones... not so much. Younger women are still feeling out their power, and they get lots of attention, they haven't really figured out what they want, and they have a limited amount of time to figure this out, chicks typically have a 10 year window where no matter what they do, there will be a number of dudes that are just falling over themselves to please them. And these dudes get obsessed.... For older men, who have life experience, we know to look past all this and stay focused on what we want, because what 'she' wants is going to change like the wind.

But I do agree that chicks, with good mating strategy, will play the game of supplication and helplessness (regardless of age), because they know this triggers in dudes our instincts to protect and help women. It is instinctual for men to want to help and save women... if we did not have this instinct the human race would have died out eons ago. It provides the basis for the development of civilization since early in human development, tribes of men that worked together to protect and care for women and children of their tribe, were the tribes that survived and flourished.

You avoid falling into this trap by being selfish, and demanding reciprocation. It's okay to give, but make sure you are getting something in return. Because as soon as you put too much effort into a chick, you find yourself drawn in and thinking about her too much.
Yep it seems to happen to me every so often. Well, twice in the last few years and both times it cost me both girls. I dropped every girl I was talking to and seeing at the time for the one girl and in the end I was left with 0 girls. I knew it was stupid at the time too but you get suckered in somehow by one particular girl and you want to stop yourself but you can’t.
 

Trump

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You avoid obsession by not thinking about a woman so much that you are distracted from other options. I think this is good advice from young guys, but older ones... not so much. Younger women are still feeling out their power, and they get lots of attention, they haven't really figured out what they want, and they have a limited amount of time to figure this out, chicks typically have a 10 year window where no matter what they do, there will be a number of dudes that are just falling over themselves to please them. And these dudes get obsessed.... For older men, who have life experience, we know to look past all this and stay focused on what we want, because what 'she' wants is going to change like the wind.

But I do agree that chicks, with good mating strategy, will play the game of supplication and helplessness (regardless of age), because they know this triggers in dudes our instincts to protect and help women. It is instinctual for men to want to help and save women... if we did not have this instinct the human race would have died out eons ago. It provides the basis for the development of civilization since early in human development, tribes of men that worked together to protect and care for women and children of their tribe, were the tribes that survived and flourished.

You avoid falling into this trap by being selfish, and demanding reciprocation. It's okay to give, but make sure you are getting something in return. Because as soon as you put too much effort into a chick, you find yourself drawn in and thinking about her too much.
Nice work.
 

Murk

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That’s why you always have at least 2 chicks on the go until you’re in an LTR. Even if you like one more, the variation and variety kind of buffers your brain from going full simp mode and seeing two girls give you the needed aura to easily pick up more.

I think two is very easy to rotate, you can see each girl once a week minimum, more if you feel like it, easy to manage, 3 and 4 is harder, time consuming potentially expensive if you don’t have the right set up.
 

backseatjuan

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That’s why you always have at least 2 chicks on the go until you’re in an LTR. Even if you like one more, the variation and variety kind of buffers your brain from going full simp mode and seeing two girls give you the needed aura to easily pick up more.
So let's say one of the chicks leaves and you left with one. Does that mean you're gonna go onitis on her?

No.

So how many chicks you spin doesn't matter, it's the underlying mind set.
 

soulforge

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You avoid obsession by not thinking about a woman so much that you are distracted from other options. I think this is good advice from young guys, but older ones... not so much. Younger women are still feeling out their power, and they get lots of attention, they haven't really figured out what they want, and they have a limited amount of time to figure this out, chicks typically have a 10 year window where no matter what they do, there will be a number of dudes that are just falling over themselves to please them. And these dudes get obsessed.... For older men, who have life experience, we know to look past all this and stay focused on what we want, because what 'she' wants is going to change like the wind.

But I do agree that chicks, with good mating strategy, will play the game of supplication and helplessness (regardless of age), because they know this triggers in dudes our instincts to protect and help women. It is instinctual for men to want to help and save women... if we did not have this instinct the human race would have died out eons ago. It provides the basis for the development of civilization since early in human development, tribes of men that worked together to protect and care for women and children of their tribe, were the tribes that survived and flourished.

You avoid falling into this trap by being selfish, and demanding reciprocation. It's okay to give, but make sure you are getting something in return. Because as soon as you put too much effort into a chick, you find yourself drawn in and thinking about her too much.
Is it OK to be a jerk sometimes?

Maybe not return her call occasionally.. She tells she love you, occasionally you dismis what she said, and change subject.

Sometimes leave her to sort her own problems out, don't be her fukin hero, solving all her problems.
 

Murk

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So let's say one of the chicks leaves and you left with one. Does that mean you're gonna go onitis on her?

No.

So how many chicks you spin doesn't matter, it's the underlying mind set.
Yes it’s a mindset, and you don’t get that mindset by only seeing one woman and giving your attention only to her.

Your OP suggests it’s a fantasy that she’s “the one” causing oneitus.

WRONG

You can get oneitus over girls you know are no good, you sometimes can’t help it, you’ve invested too much into a girl and only her and your brain gets a little warped and obsessive. Hence my post above.
 

Toddz

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"Options breed confidence and confidence breed options."

Avoid Oneitis by dating multiple women. I think the best rotation numbers around 3-4. This spaces their time apart well enough that you only see each one once every 2 or 3 weeks. Talk and text sparingly. You know you're doing it right if they complain to you that you don't 'communicate enough' or are the 'worst texter'. Don't be afraid to disappear for a few weeks or months. Your return will ignite feelings in them stronger than before.

Women want to win you over from other women. And you shouldn't let her 'win you over' into a LTR for at least a year from the time you begin dating her. The guys that jump right into LTR mode from dating a few months always lose because the women will subconsciously think he is desperate.
 

Murk

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"Options breed confidence and confidence breed options."

Avoid Oneitis by dating multiple women. I think the best rotation numbers around 3-4. This spaces their time apart well enough that you only see each one once every 2 or 3 weeks. Talk and text sparingly. You know you're doing it right if they complain to you that you don't 'communicate enough' or are the 'worst texter'. Don't be afraid to disappear for a few weeks or months. Your return will ignite feelings in them stronger than before.

Women want to win you over from other women. And you shouldn't let her 'win you over' into a LTR for at least a year from the time you begin dating her. The guys that jump right into LTR mode from dating a few months always lose because the women will subconsciously think he is desperate.
You don’t want to ignite feelings in her, that’s how you lose plates, they will demand you commit or they leave, the ultimatum. It’s how most plates are lost, or they find a guy willing to LTR them.

My current setup has 0 pressure, everyone knows where they stand, no exclusivity but I’m assuming they’re only seeing me (85% chance) and it’s easy for them to assume I’m only seeing them. Never any relationship talks just fun, eating, drinking, movies, sex, comfort.

Adding a third women will be time consuming and expensive as I have these two happy to stay in and chill and settled into a good rhythm.
 
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