One Year At The Top

[Desdinova]

Recently, me and my GF celebrated one year together. Most of my relationships don't last one year because a woman's good behaviour usually starts to wear off around the 6 month mark and I begin to find her major flaws.

So here's the backstory:

This chick has been chasing me since she was 20 years old (she's 23 now). I was not initially interested in pursuing her. She's not ugly, but she's not the hottest chick I've been with. At that point, I was more interested in being with someone hotter, and she got to watch me pick up and number close another chick at the bar (24 year old single mom)

She went on a bunch of unsuccessful dates while I was dating the other chick. Eventually, I ended up dropping the chick I was dating. She had multiple orbiters, was being disrespectful, and I suspected she was interested in (or was already fvcking) some other dude.

So my future GF started making it known that she was interested in me while I was still not interested in dating her. She ended up coming over Christmas day with alcohol, got me drunk, and climbed on top of me. I became the second man that she fvcked. She declared her interest in being in a relationship with me, but I declined. When I did that, she got mad and stormed off. She then essentially became an alpha widow.

After this experience, I ended up dating an older single mom for 8 months. I eventually dumped her, again due to orbiters and disrespect. Within a week, I ran into my future GF. She had started hitting the gym and was looking a hell of a lot better. We had a good interaction and I ended up messaging her later that evening with some playful comment. Later that night while I was sleeping, she sent me a message laying it all out for me... She couldn't be just friends with me. It was all or nothing. Since I was just tired of dating dumb bytches who had trouble committing, I decided to give her a go.

So here I am a year later. It's extremely obvious that I'm right at the top of her high score list. This chick is definitely the best experience I've had in my dating career. Here's all the good:

- She cooks for me most of the time (unless I want to cook)
- No orbiters
- She'll go anywhere with me regardless of whether I'm doing something she likes or not
- She's always down for sex
- Always thinking about me
- Always doing stuff for me
- Has taken an active roll in my kid's life
- Always telling me that I'm stuck with her
- Is willing to forfeit the legal marriage certificate
- Is willing to sign a prenup

So yeah, it's mostly good. Unfortunately, there's always some bad mixed in there...

- She's not very good in bed (although I've fixed some of this)
- She's a terrible kisser
- She's awful at reading subtle hints
- She generally doesn't initiate sex by trying to turn me on (she just tells me she's horny)

My sex drive has been going down over the years (mainly due to all the garbage I've dated), so I haven't been extremely concerned about the sexual end of it. However, I feel the need to fix at least some of this stuff. My problem is that I haven't been very proactive at doing it. Nothing turns me on more than a great kissing session, and I've made women melt in my arms and their seats from being a good kisser myself. This chick essentially has multiple roadblocks when it comes to a good kiss. I honestly hate kissing her on the lips because she's just so fvcking terrible at it.

That's the only bad part, and it's a major one for me. The sex has become a bit better after giving some major hints as to what I don't like. I still want to keep this woman around since most of the other stuff is still really good, and I have no desire to seek out another woman.

Any suggestions for fixing the kissing? I rarely encounter a chick who's extremely bad at kissing, and this just happened to be my luck.

 

[SteR]

Sorry to state the obvious but have you tried talking to her about it?

 

[Milano]

Aint it funny how nothing is ever perfect. Well you cant have a woman who is great in bed and havent been a hore so you gotta decide what is worth more to you.

 

[ubercat]

Des c'mon man. So yr unicorn has an unsightly birth mark. Yr a mod, so u know how rare what u have is.

But OK if u must fix the birth mark I d go curiosity. Leave a chick mag with an article on kissing lying around. Everytime she tidies it away pull it out again. If she still doesn't get the hint leave it open on the article.

U could also go the food sex buffet route. Cover your favorite bits of her in whipped cream etc. Do some kissing passing grapes back n forth. She just needs practice.

 

[Chev.Chelios]

Know what you mean, lips on a chick are very important. My ex didnt have a great body from bearing a child.
but man her beautiful face and set of lips were all the reason id pound her into multi orgasm squirting friendzy..
If she dont straighten up kick her azz to the curb! LOL

 

[Reyaj]

Isn't it funny how we can never have everything we want? Its so easy to take all the positive things for granted after a while. I am guilty of this myself, I think this is part of the reason I still look for side shivt, if anything it reminds me how shivtty most women are.

 

[Desdinova]

Isn't it funny how we can never have everything we want?

I don't really expect to get everything I want, but a low-mileage woman who worships the ground I walk on is rarer than a good kisser.

Sorry to state the obvious but have you tried talking to her about it?

...and that's the thing. I've been trying to figure out how to bring it up or fix it. I've never had to! I usually dumped the bad kissers and merely tolerated the mediocre ones. I'm guessing I should be more pro-active about it. Just flat out tell her "kiss me nicely" and show her how to do it.

When I was a dumb young teenager, I practised kissing on my wrist. I just figured whatever felt good on my wrist would feel good on her lips.

 

[sodbuster]

well, you answered your own question. I'm 57, sex is way down on my list. I'd skip it gladly for a night unless it's been a couple weeks.....but you have to live with the rest of her all day. As long as the rest is good, it may be worth keeping her around.

 

[BeExcellent]

Try this @Desdinova: "I love it when you......."

I appreciate you have a good thing going. Take the lead gently:

"It pleases me so much when you......."

You can also SHOW her. When you are making out, say "kiss me like this...." and then demonstrate what you want.

Like us all she flunked mind reading. She may have no idea this bugs you because you've not addressed it.

Gently leading and communicating is the way you improve things. You get a better lover, she gets to learn better how to please you. Win-win.

 

[SteR]

...and that's the thing. I've been trying to figure out how to bring it up or fix it. I've never had to! I usually dumped the bad kissers and merely tolerated the mediocre ones. I'm guessing I should be more pro-active about it. Just flat out tell her "kiss me nicely" and show her how to do it.

The part I'd struggle with is approaching this delicately enough that I don't upset her. Tread carefully, haha.

 

[Desdinova]

but you have to live with the rest of her all day. As long as the rest is good, it may be worth keeping her around.

This is spot on, and I think a lot of guys forget that. Sex makes up such a small part of interaction with women even though it brings huge pleasure.

The part I'd struggle with is approaching this delicately enough that I don't upset her.

I'm not really worried about upsetting her. I do it once in a while and then carry on, which is how I did it with every other woman before her. Some of them recover quicker than others. She recovers fairly quickly. I had one chick who gave me the silent treatment for hours.

My problem is when to bring it up. When we're ready to fvck is not the right time. When we're busy doing other stuff and she decides to give me a kiss is the wrong time as well. I suppose I have to create the right time.