One question: friendship comes before relationship!?!?

[tom121]

i don't see how woman could have enough trust in you before she made her decision to go out with you?

if you just met her, had a great converstation, got her phone number in the end. Days later you got yourself a date. Follow by a 2nd one the next week or more. Then you got yourself a relationship.

i don't understand how i can get her to know/trust me well enough during first few meetings

i guess what i am trying to say is that if I want a relationship, I have to get her know/trust me well enough, so the best way to go at it is be good friends but that'll take me to friends zone so i have to be friend to her in a intimate way, but that'll show me as desperate, then again if i be a semi-******* with a i dont give a **** attitude with ****y humor... i dont know what i should be anymore

 

[Pure Drive +]

Be the best that you can be. Then women will come to you. Worked for me man.

 

[Sugar Bee]

Be yourself and be a friend first.

Don't lie or pretend or hide things.

 

[JT47319]

Friendship does not come first.

ATTRACTION comes first. Then later those little things called comfort, trust and connection.

 

[JonJack]

Trust will come in time. However, it won't come if you're not spending time with a girl. So going on dates, getting into a relationship and all that is a great way to spend time with the girl and build trust. First things first though, you've got to enjoy yourself and have fun. We are all at our most relaxed and comfortable state when we're enjoying ourselves. And our best usually gets drawn out too. Unless you're genuinely an annoying person and you tend to irritate the hell out of people, you shouldn't have a problem when you're at ease with yourself. Relax and let it flow.

 

[GrimPhallic]

Most def attraction comes first or you will fall into the dreded LJBF zone. That is inevitable. Besides everyone knows that the best way to get a women to trust you is to have sex with em. Dont forget that piece about holdin em tight afterwards and 'kissing them on their forehead' too... I forget where I read that here but it was somewhere on this site, and yea she will be trusting you like a gynecologist. :woo:

 

[xblitz44x]

You need to establish a solid friendship before you can ever expect a relationship to work. If it's a healthy relationship, you'll be spending a lot of time together. That's tough to do with somebody that you're not friends with.

 

[flyinshark]

Originally posted by Sugar Bee
Be yourself and be a friend first.

Don't lie or pretend or hide things.

I don't know about being friends first, but BE HONEST! She will eventually find out the real you, if you guys spend lots of time together. It is inevitable. And it won't be pretty when she realizes that you were a fake.

Being a DJ should not be a set of techniques and lines that you use on a girl in order to make her yours. Being a DJ should be who you are NATURALLY, and it should come effortlessly. So what she sees it what she gets, and no surprises later.

P.S. This is very important if you want a real relationship based on trust. However, if all you want is a one night stand or short adventure with a girl, i guess being a fake can speed things up and get you what you want (and even make her fall for you). But i don't think it can LAST, as the real you will come out sooner or later if you've used techniques and lines on her.

 

[becker]

I haven't visited this site forever, but it seems the same as it was before I left. I'm at sort of a lull right now. I'm busy doing all these other things and women are on hold for a while. The one girl I really sort of fell for last is out of the country on a vacation, and I won't be seeing her for a while.

Friendship gets a bad rap around here. People are so paranoid about the LJBF-zone that they do anything to avoid the word "friends" when it comes to women. I know that prior to this website, I would never have thought twice about being called a girl's "friend", and it never really hindered anything. Then, I came to this site and now the word "friend" coming out of a girl's mouth sends shivers down my back. The last girl I slept with was a "friend", who I started dating regularly after hanging out for a while. She referred to me as a "friend" in the beginning too. It's not the kiss of death that most of you think. If she's attracted to you, then the "friend" is just a word, nothing more, no hidden meanings, unless she's really not attracted to you. Watch her actions (that can't be said enough). Anyways, just spoke to this girl online tonight, she is overseas. I hate that mode of communication by the way. It's so difficult to discern what people are saying because you're missing the all-important tone of voice. Sarcasm becomes serious, etc. Just hang out with her. Some girls are looking to just hook up, nothing serious, so definitely be careful not to get too attached before things get serious.

 

[backbreaker]

it's really a bunch of bull**** if you ask me.

I mean, you are 100 percent right,... you can't be "friends" with someone you met 2 weeks ago and are now dating.

You can EVENTUALLY get to know them but it takes time.

Until then, you are just dating and ****ing.

 

[JackPrescott]

Originally posted by becker
I haven't visited this site forever, but it seems the same as it was before I left. I'm at sort of a lull right now. I'm busy doing all these other things and women are on hold for a while. The one girl I really sort of fell for last is out of the country on a vacation, and I won't be seeing her for a while.

Friendship gets a bad rap around here. People are so paranoid about the LJBF-zone that they do anything to avoid the word "friends" when it comes to women. I know that prior to this website, I would never have thought twice about being called a girl's "friend", and it never really hindered anything. Then, I came to this site and now the word "friend" coming out of a girl's mouth sends shivers down my back. The last girl I slept with was a "friend", who I started dating regularly after hanging out for a while. She referred to me as a "friend" in the beginning too. It's not the kiss of death that most of you think. If she's attracted to you, then the "friend" is just a word, nothing more, no hidden meanings, unless she's really not attracted to you. Watch her actions (that can't be said enough). Anyways, just spoke to this girl online tonight, she is overseas. I hate that mode of communication by the way. It's so difficult to discern what people are saying because you're missing the all-important tone of voice. Sarcasm becomes serious, etc. Just hang out with her. Some girls are looking to just hook up, nothing serious, so definitely be careful not to get too attached before things get serious.

We dont mind the word "friends" or the LJBF zone, as long as they tell us this as we are copulating with them, it's when they tell us that when they are f***ing other guys that really sucks hard.

 

[becker]

Originally posted by JackPrescott
We dont mind the word "friends" or the LJBF zone, as long as they tell us this as we are copulating with them, it's when they tell us that when they are f***ing other guys that really sucks hard.

Good point, I agree, but last girl I saw used "friends" before we hooked up. Definitely don't want the latter one, where they're spilling their guts about other guys. The only way that can work is if you've already slept with them, then you can listen to whatever they say and still end up in bed with them.

 

[JackPrescott]

Originally posted by becker
Good point, I agree, but last girl I saw used "friends" before we hooked up. Definitely don't want the latter one, where they're spilling their guts about other guys. The only way that can work is if you've already slept with them, then you can listen to whatever they say and still end up in bed with them.

Exactly, if she wants to bit*h and moan about other men while we are sharing a post love making cigarette, thats fine with me, but listening to a woman that you want lament about other men, while she doesnt want you, sexually, is about as much fun as ripping out your own fingernails with some pliers.

 

[Qualtran]

I've found that being friends with girls works significantly to my advantage. In the last few years I've dated girls I hooked up with within hours of meeting, and girls I was friends with for months before anything physical happened. The one thing you will know with one of these girl-friends is whether or not there is initial attraction. Every girl I was initially friends with and later hooked up with, I knew within minutes of meeting the first time that there was a future possibility. If a girl sees you as just a friend from the start, spend your energy elsewhere, but if she gives you the right vibe, you know that at some point down the road you can make your move if you so choose.