Thanks everyone for the responses. I know this must all seem frustrating for even you guys cause many of you have been in similar situations and know how it will end.
I think I’ve accepted it is a short-term thing. And it does have its day of reckoning looking in the future. Whether that’s me walking, or her doing something putrid.
For now I am slowly detaching. I will go on the trip with her and take it all from there afterwards. I don’t believe she would ever cheat as that’s not in her to do based on her childhood, but if she finds someone else, so be it..
I don’t think she respects me in the sense of a lover. I think she respects me as a person and cares to degrees, but like I said; not as a lover. This sucks. But those were my follies in not setting firmer boundaries in the start. And so now I am paying the piper for it.
I’m taking to trip wth her because I want to travel and get away, and she knows the area really well which will expand my world view and depth. Plus we do have fun together and there is great sex. So I think it’s about taking the pressure and care off in some ways. She’s good about splitting costs too, so not a terrible travel companion. I know this may even seem crazy to some here. But whatever.
@guru1000 is right. I can’t see the logic of it even though I know everyone here is right. It’s something I need to learn on my own. And it’s funny that even I know what he sees. But there’s an emotional learning which I don’t fully understand in this, that time will reveal in the end.
@Glassguy is right in all his perceptions. I have no arguments anymore. But at the end of the day, I just still care about her and she doesn’t yet seem to really treat me poorly. She just doesn’t respect me as a lover. And that’s sad. But it’s certainly not the end of the world. Because I’m just with a plate who I care about at the end of the day.
She ain’t the love of my life.
But I still have fun with her and she still cares about me. She reaches out and always wants to spend time together. She cares enough to want to know what’s on my mind.
So maybe it’s not all about respect or all this masculine crap. Or boundaries. Maybe I’m just dealing with someone who doesn’t know how to be in a healthy relationship or doesn’t have the emotional capacity as she always tells me. Not everything is so by the book like we make it out to be. Do this.. get this.. do that.. get that.
I know many here think it is. But if it was like that.. why are all you here?
But I take responsibility and know I have work to do.
