One on one

[EyeOnThePrize]

But she’s maybe playing these games because I was weak.. like flow said.. I let it here.. but it is also telling of her personality.

Ugh all women do the same thing. Ffs

Be grateful for the a woman's testing. It's an opportunity to hone your masculine core.

 

[Glassguy]

That’s exactly what I’m saying. 6 months is nothing. So turning it around isn’t a crazy thought?


And that’s different from a monogamous relationship..

You have 6 months of beta. No chance of turning it around with her.

Keeping a woman submitted to you doesnt matter if you have 1or 5. The more the harder it is.

These aren't fwb. Each woman is trying to pin me down to an exclusive relationship.

None of them confuse me. They are clear with what they want. They don't act disrespectful. They don't withhold sex.

You need to redefine who you are in terms of how you allow others to treat you.

 

[Toddz]

If I were in your situation, I would tell her that it's okay for her to go on a date with this guy, but that you are going to explore other options too. In other words (and you communicate this through your behavior only), you are no longer exclusive and she is no longer your girlfriend. She has been downgraded to just a woman that you are dating. For now, exclusivity is off the table until she proves otherwise.

Withdraw your time and attention, date other women, and cut your availability for her by 50%.

 

[Glassguy]

Glassguy/Brooks,

From my point of view, you are both missing the real issue.

My question is not whether it CAN or CANNOT be turned around...…...

My question is - is it WORTH turning around?

Sure it is about whether he can turn it around. I already stated earlier that I would have dropped this chick like a it was my job as soon as she started talking about seeing other people.

Brooks cant do that because he doesnt have my mindset, frame and backbone. Due to his inability to walk away, it is now all about if he can turn it around.

I will spoil the end of the story for everyone. She is talking to many different guys through text, fb messenger, IG, etc and as soon as she finds a guy that sparks a true interest and doesnt act beta, she is gone gone gone.

The coffee guy- I dont care if he is a beta phaggot or not (Brook's words). The next guy might not be. Her intent was to go see him. Hell for all we know maybe he flaked on HER and she blew it off as thought she changed her mind. The guy doesnt matter, her intent does.

People will show you who they really are if you pay attention. Brooks sees who she really is but chooses to ignore the red flags, hoping they will go away. That wont happen.


Is it worth it? To me, fvck no its not worth it. But I would still have 2 plates and another replacement for her on a date this week.

For someone like Brooksie who has already demonstrated a beta mindset, this is the epitome of a scarcity mindset.

His girlfriend literally told him she wanted to see other guys and he sticks around. A person's mindset doesnt get much scarcer than that.

 

[Brooks]

His girlfriend literally told him she wanted to see other guys and he sticks around. A person's mindset doesnt get much scarcer than that.

She never said that? We just about broke up and some guy invited her to a BBQ; she said we will see. Then she denied it. He replaced for the following week (this one). I suggested plans the same day; she isn’t seeing him, she’s seeing me.
I agree it was her intent that the important factor here. Not him.

And she bailed on him. I read the texts. He just keeps coming back and won’t get the hint. But she’s also stringing him along for whatever reasons.

You have 6 months of beta. No chance of turning it around with her.

Keeping a woman submitted to you doesnt matter if you have 1or 5. The more the harder it is.

Sure it will be hard. But it’s. It impossible. Day by day my friend. Anyone can turn their relationship around if their will is strong enough. And mine is. For now. Unless she keeps up her bad behaviour. But then I draw boundaries where I didn’t before.

My question is - is it WORTH turning around?

Brooks I dated one very similar, it never ever got better. in the end, I simply gave up and walked away. I found out later, she can't seem to make a relationship last more than a few months - she simply could NOT find peace and be kind. ALWAYS the need for drama. Caused me many sleepless nights.

I don't want to see you go through this.

Some women are damaged. You mentioned her terrible relationship with her father. I will tell you this is a HUGE common denominator of BPD women.

Her last relationship ship was a year and a half.

I don’t know if this is worth all my struggle. And I can see that there are aspects of her that are damaged; to which she’s even admittted. And yes, she does cause unnessary drama.

@EyeOnThePrize is right. Use this as a tool to hone my masculine core. This relationship is difficult. But it’s difficukt because I created it that way, coupled with her stuff. Whatever.
We’re going to South America for a bunch of weeks soon. After this trip I will know for sure what the situation is. But since I’ve switched my behaviour my relationship has gotten better.
Now it’s about boundary focus and keeping my backbone. Glass guy just thinks it CANT be done. But it can I think

 

[Brooks]

I will spoil the end of the story for everyone. She is talking to many different guys through text, fb messenger, IG, etc and as soon as she finds a guy that sparks a true interest and doesnt act beta, she is gone gone gone.

I would be instantly done at this point if I found this. The ship would have too many holes and water in it. Would be no chance of saving it.

The guy she messaged with a bit was existing before who she friendzoned. She has never had anyone new

 

[Glassguy]

But she’s also stringing him along for whatever reasons.

I know why. Hopefully you figure it out soon.

Hint: It has nothing to do with this guy and everything to do with you.

 

[Brooks]

I know why. Hopefully you figure it out soon.

Hint: It has nothing to do with this guy and everything to do with you.

What do you mean?

 

[Glassguy]

Put some thought into why she treats you this way and doesnt submit man.

 

[Brooks]

Put some thought into why she treats you this way and doesnt submit man.

Doesn’t respect..
doesn’t admire..
??

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I know why. Hopefully you figure it out soon.

Hint: It has nothing to do with this guy and everything to do with you.

Shes punking him? Cause she know he wont do nothing?

 

[Brooks]

How do I get the respect back? The admiration?

FFFFUUUUUCKKKK

 

[Glassguy]

No respect bro.

Want respect? Drop her @ss without any discussion. Tell her you want to see other people because this isnt exactly working out.

She will get all p!ssed and throw a fit. Just LAUGH. Walk away. Dont answer any texts or calls for a few days.

You will either see a change in behavior from HER or she can keep fvckin walkin if she doesnt reach back out. No reach out or change of behavior from her = She really didnt care.

You say that YOU should change. Why? Not that self betterment isnt needed because we ALL should chase the best version of ourselves 24/7.

But why should YOU change for HER? If anything you work on yourself for YOU. NEVER FOR A WOMAN.

How is SHE chasing YOU if you are the one doing the compromising?

Drop her. Find out if she will come back fvcking crawling....begging. If she doesnt, you have lost nothing.

Trust me on this.

 

[lamath]

How do I get the respect back? The admiration?

FFFFUUUUUCKKKK

Not giving af is how you do it.
probably too late for that however, reason for Glassguy advice

 

[EyeOnThePrize]

What everyone is saying is true @Brooks. She is looking for someone else. You should disengage and let her do some pursuing. If she lets it dry up then let it dry up, and dump her when it persists.

 

[Glassguy]

You will either love me or hate me Brooks. I dont hold back because I know what I am talking about. I have been baptized by the fire.

I use women for my benefit. They love it. They chase HARD. If you think they are fat slobs, think again. I will show pics upon request. As well as texts.
It works.

I am a nice guy to them, but I have no problem saying NO. I have no problems responding to the texts from then that I want to respond to and not responding to others.

I do what I want, when I want. In no event do I do something for one of my chicks that I dont want to do. If I want to do it, fine.

I am a fun, outgoing, nice guy. I put me first in the dating game. Always. If a chick acts disrespectful, at all....she is gone. Period. Non debatable. I dont even owe them a talk. I just stop communication. Look up ghosting and you will find my pic.

ALL of the chicks I ghosted, walked from, etc, are still on the line anytime I want to pull that trigger again. Why? They respect me. They know if they ever do get a 2nd chance, they are on an even shorter leash.

 

[Brooks]

No respect bro.

Want respect? Drop her @ss without any discussion. Tell her you want to see other people because this isnt exactly working out.

She will get all p!ssed and throw a fit. Just LAUGH. Walk away. Dont answer any texts or calls for a few days.

You will either see a change in behavior from HER or she can keep fvckin walkin if she doesnt reach back out. No reach out or change of behavior from her = She really didnt care.

You say that YOU should change. Why? Not that self betterment isnt needed because we ALL should chase the best version of ourselves 24/7.

But why should YOU change for HER? If anything you work on yourself for YOU. NEVER FOR A WOMAN.

How is SHE chasing YOU if you are the one doing the compromising?

Drop her. Find out if she will come back fvcking crawling....begging. If she doesnt, you have lost nothing.

Trust me on this.

Drop her.. weeks out from our South American vacation..?

The timing of this all is the most difficult

 

[Glassguy]

Drop her.. weeks out from our South American vacation..?

The timing of this all is the most difficult

I wouldnt care if the trip was tomorrow morning. You do what you want.

Your actions are continuing to get bad results. You do the math.

You are taking a chick that you have only dated 6 months on a South American trip? WTF is wrong with you bro? lol.

Seriously man- you have moved WAY to fast with this chick. Trust me when I tell you she is done.

You are scared to pull the trigger. If it wasnt a trip, it would be some other excuse.

I just gave you a blueprint to success. Nobody here can implement it but you.

Do what you want. But if you are going to CONDONE her behavior, please GTFO this board because nobody likes someone who asks for advice and then argues with good advice they are given.

Your choice. If you want help, I am here to help. If you want to be a cuck, go for it.

 

[Glassguy]

There is no better time than the present to make yourself and your life better.

Yesterday is gone, tomorrow may never come.

Your choice.

Hell go on the trip by yourself and not have the worry of this chick looming over you. Find a few chicks down there and throw the bone to them.

 

[lamath]

Should not be rewarding bad behavior with a trip.
Bring someone else