cordoncordon said:
Bingo. The OP just gave the best response of anyone to his own issue. Many of you are saying he should have said this, or said that. Or he should have kept quiet. And all those by themselves are great...IF he doesn't care what he does and doesn't care what his reaction gets her to do. IF he doesn't care, he could say I love you, please don't do this, and it wouldn't matter. Because he doesn't care. Most of the other responses that the OP is getting here from the other posters are in some way shape or form...implying that the OP cares what her response is. When the OP can say and do what he wants to her, WITHOUT there being any cares in the world what her reaction will be, THEN he will truly have reached the level of indifference that many here want to possess.
If he doesn't CARE, then why is he posting?
I'm not really sure why that flake is particularly interesting. She made plans with him, but ended up tired-out. I would rather a girl tell me she's tired-out than come out on a date, be a grumpy b!tch, and ruin the whole night.
Not only that, but she made a counter-offer for a specific day...not just a "rain check", but she explicitly said, "This does not reflect my interest level" and "let's get together Sunday instead".
To the OP...WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT??
Sh*t, some of you guys, the girl could've gotten in a car accident on her way there, busted her skull open, and been in a trauma ward somewhere, and you would still get on her case for "flaking" and "disrespecting you".
A "flake" is a no-show, no-call, or no-show and call without any particular reason or interest in rescheduling. In other words, "I'm not coming out tonight, even though I said I would, for no other reason than I just don't want to".
The title of this post is not accurate...this is neither a "flake" nor "interesting".
But OH NO, I'M MISTER BIG DON JUAN MAN! A GIRL I'VE NEVER MET OR ONLY BEEN ON ONE OR TWO DATES WITH SHOULD MAKE *ME* THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IN HER LIFE!! THERE SHOULD BE CONSEQUENCES TO HER NOT MAKING HER DATE WITH ME, AND SHE SHOULD BE GRATEFUL FOR HER PUNISHMENT!!
So OP, you made a point to make her feel stupid for breaking (not even really "breaking" since she TRIED to reschedule) a date with you, and you're surprised by the fact that she no longer wants to speak to you.
Maybe you DON'T care. But this pattern of men thinking that women they haven't even been dating for a while should bow down and kiss their arses just because THEY DEMAND IT and that "anything less is a sign of disrespect" need to grow up.
Everyone keeps talking about "disrespect" this and "disrespect" that. Do you know WHY other countries continually try to take shots at the US in the UN, through the political/diplomatic system? Because the US has bigger bombs. So these lesser countries have to appeal to "respect" and "decency" when they get "disrespected", because deep down they feel threatened and un-confident in their OWN dealings.
Most women are twits. Most PEOPLE are twits. It's just the way of the world. The fact that you have to take verbal shots at a woman by saying something weak like "poor form" means that you aren't secure enough to stand tall in the face of what you deem "flaky behavior" (which is debatable in this instance) and that, despite your urgings of "don't care", the fact that this girl didn't meet up with you on this night is a bruise to your fragile ego that you demand compensation for.
Do you know what a "real Don Juan" would've done in this conversation? If he bought the girl's story, he would've accepted her offer to reschedule. If he hadn't, he would've said, "OK, we'll reschedule sometime later" and then flaked on HER.
Yeah, it sucks that your night was ruined by this change in plans...what I do in that situation is cuss to myself for a few minutes, call up a few friends, and if I can't find anything to do, I "charge it to the game" and either go out on my own or stay in. It's as much MY failing as HERS, given that I didn't have a backup plan and put that much faith in her making the date.
I missed a ballgame with friends recently because I had "prior plans" with a girl who ended up blowing me off. Her excuse was plausible, but I was so p!ssed off that I never really DID accept it...I really would've liked to go to that ballgame.
So what'd I do? I texted her and said, "we'll have to shoot for another time I guess". Then I texted a few other girls i'd been talking to...no luck. (one was at the ballgame!!) Then I sucked it up and found something else to do. Did I ever call that girl again? Nope...more because I figured she just "didn't have time to date" than anything. Do I feel "disrespected"? Nope. Dirt off my shoulder.
If you are dating girls with ANY frequency, then this should NOT be a unique or interesting occurrence for you...it is part of the "game". People, especially in the "mature" age bracket, are busy, or otherwise have better stuff to do than hang out with people they just officially met last week or whenever.
You "Respect Zealots" would mock me endlessly if I told you about the first date I had with this girl I'm meeting up with tonight. At least until I told you about the second date.
Until you start learning how women THINK, you will not understand why they do the things they do.
And to be bluntly honest, before you can learn how women think, you have to become attractive to women...enough so that THEY consider YOU like men consider THEM.
