one of my best friends thinks negative what should i do

[master-p]

hello there,

i am on this forum for the last 4 months and i found out that positive thinking is very important. i think that one of my best friends is slowing down my progress because he thinks very negative. sometimes i find myself thinking negative when i hang out with him. i don't know what to do because i know this guy for 7 years. can u guys give me some advice?

 

[OamImrsNemo]

NEXT!...

Unfortunately when becoming an Alpha we have no time for the weak and unsuccessful. Your best bet is to surround those around you who have characteristics you like or people you would look up to so you can learn from them and one up them.

I know it sounds rough but I had to do it and have made incredible progress.

Otherwise your using them subconsciously as a krutch o well he has made no progress yet so I should wait for him. Or I am already better than him what more do I need to improve. He is only dragging you down....

 

[master-p]

I get the point, i really wanna make some progress so i don't hang out with him anymore.

 

[kingsam]

negativity is like a cancer and dropping friends is a real shame, at Uni i had two housemates they were both nice guys in some ways BUT
guy 1 - ended up driving us crazy he was negative-needy-agressive
guy 2- was lazy beyond beleif, no social skills, and lazy academically...didnt bring anything to the equation
if these guys were cooler we wouldn't have had to drop them and i would have two more best friends...a real real shame

i also dont go out with "the boys" (i knew from high-school age) much anymore coz all they go is get wasted and go home with their ****s in their hands at the end of the night...a waste (they are awful with game/women)

remember a lot of friends change over time (and bascialy when they dont it means you are not really living and experincing life outside your "little local bubble") - some friends i know only hang in a very tight social group thus the guys NEVER meet any chicks- its kinda sad for them really, but its "comfortable" for them

COMFORT = bad = not growing/improving yourself

you dont have to remove him totally but defo dont hang with him when going out

expand your social circle more, coz you are who your friends are

 

[Guoy Darko]

NEXT!...

Unfortunately when becoming an Alpha we have no time for the weak and unsuccessful. Your best bet is to surround those around you who have characteristics you like or people you would look up to so you can learn from them and one up them.

What the ****, really? No time for the weak and unsuccessful? What if all leaders thought like that? You don't sound like a trustworthy leader/alpha I must say.

Just as negativity is contagious, so is positivity. So try to get him out of his rut. Do fun things with him. Ask him why he feels like that and see if his thinking is rational or not. Try to make him look different at those things by whatever means.

Don't ever drop your friends because they are maybe sad about something. Otherwise one day you find yourself alone but o so 'cool' and 'alpha'.

OamImrsNemo, if you ever became director of movies about alpha males who stopped caring about the weak and unsuccessful we'd have some ****ed up movies (Robin Hood, Braveheart, X-men, Die Hard, etc etc.). All movies about guys who stood up for others and are alpha because of that.

 

[Chromeo]

What darko said,

If you really want to you can leave him in the dust, but if you guys have fun and you enjoy his friendship then help him with his positivity.

I have a friend like this as well. Just make sure your being positively positive toward him and not negatively positive.

My buddy gets all defensive when I tell him hes being a little b!tch baby. lol

 

[Desdinova]

I limit my contact with those who are stubbornly negative. You can't change the way people function - they have to change for themselves. You don't have to kick him out of your life completely, just spend time with him when you're in the mood to do whatever the both of you enjoy doing together.

My parents are very negative people. I mainly keep contact with them for the *few* good qualities they have and because they're related to me. I wouldn't be able to handle being around them 24/7. I'd turn into a miserable piece of 5hit.

 

[Elephant]

Don't drop your friend. Just find some confident positive think friends to hang out with. Having a wide circle of friends is always good anyway. If you have to take a break from the negative thinking friend for a little while where you can get into the habit of positive thinking.

 

[master-p]

thanks for the advise guys, i will not hang out with him for the next month and see if i will think more positive.

 

[SeymourCake]

Be the alpha male and lead by example. Have mature conversations with him to change his perspective in life. Participate in physical activities together (such as jogging, working out, and playing sports). It seems that he's in control of the friendship seeing how his negativity affects you. Turn it around. Be in control of the situation and influence him with your positivity. Remember, it wont happen over night. It may be frustrating task (and if you find yourself being frustrated, then take a deep breath 3 times and relax yourself) and proceed on changing your friends life.

Shame on the person who said abandon your friend. A real alpha leader would never leave his pack members behind.

 

[OamImrsNemo]

What the ****, really? No time for the weak and unsuccessful? What if all leaders thought like that? You don't sound like a trustworthy leader/alpha I must say.

Just as negativity is contagious, so is positivity. So try to get him out of his rut. Do fun things with him. Ask him why he feels like that and see if his thinking is rational or not. Try to make him look different at those things by whatever means.

Don't ever drop your friends because they are maybe sad about something. Otherwise one day you find yourself alone but o so 'cool' and 'alpha'.

So a wolf is to lazy to hunt with the rest of the pack you think the alpha male is going to keep feeding him? fvck no there going to eat HIM!

If negative nancy is sitting here complaining to me all day about everything, yet to lazy to get a job, no motivation for working out, not willing to go out and do stuff with me and I have tried to get him to multiple times and tried to help him. There is nothing more I can do from this point on he is only going to bring me down. Think about it logically. So what your saying is you should hang out with him, Do nothing, Get nothing out of life with him wait for him to want to progress then you can as well with him?

One day I am going to find my self in my employment of choice surrounded by great individuals who want to better themselves and the community with great like mined friends. No debbie downers who want to sit around and talk about how ****ty there life is. Everyone gets dealt cards. Its how you play it in the end.

OamImrsNemo, if you ever became director of movies about alpha males who stopped caring about the weak and unsuccessful we'd have some ****ed up movies (Robin Hood, Braveheart, X-men, Die Hard, etc etc.). All movies about guys who stood up for others and are alpha because of that.

Ha ha. Did we watch the same movies? Because I am pretty sure in robin hood everyone was working to survive no one was sitting around the campfire complaining and doing NOTHING. I am also pretty sure Robin hood did not sit around with them not doing anything. In fact I am pretty sure robing hood helped them over throw the Alpha Male. Nothing to do with hanging with non motivated people.

Brave heart I am pretty sure same as above they wern't moping around doing nothing they were already succeeding in there lives he just helped them overthrow another king trying to control them. He wasn't helping and consoling depressed people he wasn't trying to motivate people to work in the fields so they could be fed he was fvking fighting for a better living..

I don't know how X-men fits in here? Or Die hard. But its been a while since I saw those.....

 

[another_nice_guy]

I'd say hang out with him as a mate but just filter out anything he says about girls! And dont head out with when out on the town.

I once that the biggest negative stoner flatmate in uni who dragged me down to his loser level so I know the problem...

 

[Jeffro]

you could try and educate him to your ways, but some people just dont wanna change, or cant.

If this is the case, i would cut loose if it was me. If you are to grow and develop you need to surround yourself with positive people, life is too short to
to pollute your brain with negative emotions.

just my two sense

 

[Guoy Darko]

So a wolf is to lazy to hunt with the rest of the pack you think the alpha male is going to keep feeding him? fvck no there going to eat HIM!

Even though we’re animals in a biological sense we have the power to think. And that is a blessing in most ways, but for some people it’s a curse. They think to much. They don’t want it, but you sometimes cannot help it when you’re stuck on something. If you could control your mind as easy as you think it is, everybody would be happy 24/7.

So I don’t think you comparison with wolves is just. There it is a matter of life and death. Here it isn’t.Besides you keep telling the other wolves are LAZY. Where did master p ever said his friend is lazy?

If negative nancy is sitting here complaining to me all day about everything, yet to lazy to get a job, no motivation for working out, not willing to go out and do stuff with me and I have tried to get him to multiple times and tried to help him.

Where, where? Where did master p told us his friend was refusing to get a job? That he is refusing to go out or work out? He never said anything like that.

There is nothing more I can do from this point on he is only going to bring me down. Think about it logically. So what your saying is you should hang out with him, Do nothing, Get nothing out of life with him wait for him to want to progress then you can as well with him?

NO! Where did I ever said that? I told him to be as happy, outgoing and fun around his friend as possible and try to drag him out of his rut by talking to him, doing fun ****. Use your imagination. I never said to him to go sit on the couch with his friend and just listen to him complain and join him in being negative.

One day I am going to find my self in my employment of choice surrounded by great individuals who want to better themselves and the community with great like mined friends. No debbie downers who want to sit around and talk about how ****ty there life is. Everyone gets dealt cards. Its how you play it in the end.

Okay, that’s your point of view.

Ha ha. Did we watch the same movies? Because I am pretty sure in robin hood everyone was working to survive no one was sitting around the campfire complaining and doing NOTHING. I am also pretty sure Robin hood did not sit around with them not doing anything. In fact I am pretty sure robing hood helped them over throw the Alpha Male. Nothing to do with hanging with non motivated people.

Again you keep saying master p’s friend is doing nothing, being lazy and refusing to get a job. Master p only told us his friend is negative. You can work 60 hours a week being completely negative. Robin Hood (even though he never existed) was an alpha male who stood up for the weak and unsuccessful. Maybe the people were working but they were still unsuccessful because they were bullied by some nazi king. He could’ve walked away but he didn’t (in the story). And overthrowing the ‘alpha male’ (maybe in your eyes he’s alpha, because he had power and money. Not in my eyes because he’s exploiting the weak.) is the most alpha thing you could do. And for Robin Hood to go and fight for the people to get rid of their demon Prince John can be compared to Master P help his friend fight his demons.

Brave heart I am pretty sure same as above they wern't moping around doing nothing they were already succeeding in there lives he just helped them overthrow another king trying to control them. He wasn't helping and consoling depressed people he wasn't trying to motivate people to work in the fields so they could be fed he was fvking fighting for a better living..

Same as with Robin Hood.

I don't know how X-men fits in here? Or Die hard. But its been a while since I saw those.....

Same, same. Although X-men fits harder in this category maybe.

 

[Alle_Gory]

Limit the exposure to the negativity. You don't need to get rid of him, but if he's that negative then it WILL affect you.

Now if you're positive then you can affect him as well. Hopefully you being optimistic all the time might have a positive influence on him.

But again, limit the exposure to the negativity. Hang out with him when he's at his best.

 

[OamImrsNemo]

Even though we’re animals in a biological sense we have the power to think. And that is a blessing in most ways, but for some people it’s a curse. They think to much. They don’t want it, but you sometimes cannot help it when you’re stuck on something. If you could control your mind as easy as you think it is, everybody would be happy 24/7.

So I don’t think you comparison with wolves is just. There it is a matter of life and death. Here it isn’t.Besides you keep telling the other wolves are LAZY. Where did master p ever said his friend is lazy?



Where, where? Where did master p told us his friend was refusing to get a job? That he is refusing to go out or work out? He never said anything like that.



NO! Where did I ever said that? I told him to be as happy, outgoing and fun around his friend as possible and try to drag him out of his rut by talking to him, doing fun ****. Use your imagination. I never said to him to go sit on the couch with his friend and just listen to him complain and join him in being negative.



Okay, that’s your point of view.



Again you keep saying master p’s friend is doing nothing, being lazy and refusing to get a job. Master p only told us his friend is negative. You can work 60 hours a week being completely negative. Robin Hood (even though he never existed) was an alpha male who stood up for the weak and unsuccessful. Maybe the people were working but they were still unsuccessful because they were bullied by some nazi king. He could’ve walked away but he didn’t (in the story). And overthrowing the ‘alpha male’ (maybe in your eyes he’s alpha, because he had power and money. Not in my eyes because he’s exploiting the weak.) is the most alpha thing you could do. And for Robin Hood to go and fight for the people to get rid of their demon Prince John can be compared to Master P help his friend fight his demons.



Same as with Robin Hood.



Same, same. Although X-men fits harder in this category maybe.

Where did he say he didn't? Either way were both assuming...



So master P I guess we need more details...

 

[Guoy Darko]

Where did he say he didn't? Either way were both assuming...

Yes, but I only base my advice on what master p told. He also never told us his friend wasn't a pink polar bear, but I'm not going to assume he is.

But Master p told us he's dropping the friend. How is that going Master p?

 

[master-p]

well first i will avoid hanging out with him for the first month. after that i will see if i think more positive. and if it makes a big difference i will slowly drop him.

 

[sodbuster]

sometimes you can't CHANGE the people in your life,then you need to change the PEOPLE in your life. I don't talk to my father much,he's always the "sad old lady" negative. don't talk to my ex wife either,but she was more the pizzed off crazy woman negative. The more you are focused on negative stuff,the more negative you will be.

 

[ArcBound]

So you're going to drop a friend because he doesn't conform to YOUR views of how he should behave?

Tell me isn't one of the most important tenets of being an "alpha male" (as many responders suggested) not giving a damn of what other people say or think of you and keep going? And yet you give the ultimatum to mold your friend into something you want (in this case being more positive) or dropping him, a friend of 7 years.

Everyone goes through negative times right? Remember this month every man on the Mature Man forum started bvtching about their life. Should we drop 'em cause their negativity might get to us? Point is they gave useful advice and will continue to give useful advice even if they do at some points feel down (cause we're all human). I'm guessing something about your friend made you want to hang out with him for 7 years right? If you're going to throw him to the dumpster bin just because he's being so negative then the friendship probably didn't mean much to you in the first place.

It's your life, but if you dumped every friend who showed some sort of negative emotion once in a while, or who didn't conform to some magical view of him you had in your head: you will either end up very alone or with friends who all think just like you.