One’s eye contact

anonymous12345

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Dec 23, 2021
Messages
487
Reaction score
182
Age
40
Location
Sweden
By googling “men's eye contact” hits emphases eye contact as something positive. My experience is that it’s actually the opposite that makes a girl chase and establish rapport. This is supported by leadership literature that says that those with little eye contact has more power. (More “HR-ish” recommendations emphases much eye contact, a more feminine and democratic approach.)

I have an extremely low closure/turnover rate and I’m very sure it’s because of problem with eye contact. About a month ago at a cold approach I for some reason entered a different mode, my head and eyes went to the right and left of the girl as I talked, and I was staggeringly surprised by the way she lit up, I hadn’t seen that before. It felt like a "rush" as if an after burner was active, that I only managed to ride for a couple of seconds. (Perhaps coincidences.)

My task is to turn that mode on permanently. The problem is that I’ve tried to fake it, and that doesn’t work at all. It needs to come naturally. It could be that perceived relationship of power/neediness and so forth propagates out into “eye behaviour” and that for some reason in the scenario a month ago I perhaps simply forgot state of affairs. It could also be “perceived likelihood of outcome”, that I need to pamper/woo with strong contact in order to win, while it’s in contrast the opposite.

Comments?
 
Last edited:

IamtheAlphamale

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 14, 2003
Messages
576
Reaction score
108
By googling “men's eye contact” hits emphases eye contact as something positive. My experience is that it’s actually the opposite that makes a girl chase and establish rapport. This is supported by leadership literature that says that those with little eye contact has more power. (More “HR-ish” recommendations emphases much eye contact, a more feminine and democratic approach.)

I have an extremely low closure/turnover rate and I’m very sure it’s because of problem with eye contact. About a month ago at a cold approach I for some reason entered a different mode, my head and eyes went to the right and left of the girl as I talked, and I was staggeringly surprised by the way she lit up, I hadn’t seen that before. It felt like a "rush" as if an after burner was active, that I only managed to ride for a couple of seconds. (Perhaps coincidences.)

My task is to turn that mode on permanently. The problem is that I’ve tried to fake it, and that doesn’t work at all. It needs to come naturally. It could be that perceived relationship of power/neediness and so forth propagates out into “eye behaviour” and that for some reason in the scenario a month ago I perhaps simply forgot state of affairs. It could also be “perceived likelihood of outcome”, that I need to pamper/woo with strong contact in order to win, while it’s in contrast the opposite.

Comments?
The more you and the girl stare into eachothers eyes the more love hormone is released. I've heard that you should not overdo it but I have especially beautiful eyes so I just stare away.
 

2rings

Banned
Joined
Apr 22, 2023
Messages
169
Reaction score
94
A number of times in my life especially when younger, I kissed girls and the next day they do a trick question:
Do you remember what color my eyes are?

For some females they will not want to see a guy again if you did not pay attention to eye color. It is actually a smart question to ask to gauge how much the other person was into your personality.

females have some smart relationship tests up their sleeves
 

SmoothHendrixPS2

Senior Don Juan
Joined
May 3, 2022
Messages
280
Reaction score
219
Age
33
The eyes are the windows to the soul. If you make eye contact with a female, you hold it until she breaks away (work on a confident grin that works for you). You would gauge her body language from here and proceed accordingly. This is how you initiate an approach using body language/ eye contact.
 

anonymous12345

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Dec 23, 2021
Messages
487
Reaction score
182
Age
40
Location
Sweden
My theory on this that whether to have "a lot" or "little" of eye contact is something a long the power dimension. Much eye contact reduces the man's amount of power and instead builds connection, in short.

This is why I think it creates trouble for me. I'm relatively short, so I can't afford a lot of eye contact -- it renders me powerless, and hence unattractive.
 

gwoppin

Don Juan
Joined
Jun 23, 2021
Messages
103
Reaction score
50
Enough eye contact to show youre normal and confident, but once youve made it clear that you are the one here with the status is where the lack of eye contact shows some type of status,

eg talking over your shoulder to her and making her fight for your interest
 

SargeMaximus

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 14, 2020
Messages
3,928
Reaction score
1,980
Age
36
My theory is eye contact hust
Solidifies whatever you had in the first place, but staring trying to
Force it is try hard and immediately
Low value. In short: you can’t use eye contact
To get a girl unless you want to force her via your intimidation. Not the kind of women I want
 

itouchyou

Senior Don Juan
Joined
May 3, 2023
Messages
287
Reaction score
191
The more you and the girl stare into eachothers eyes the more love hormone is released. I've heard that you should not overdo it but I have especially beautiful eyes so I just stare away.
100%. Eye contact can seal the deal before you even open your mouth. I remember my most shocking pickup of all time.

One day had to go into the bank to open an account. Scheduled an appointment and someone with a unisex name was assigned to meet me.

I went into the bank and was asked to wait in the waiting area, expecting a guy. As I looked over my shoulder, saw this absolutely gorgeous blonde in a tight black dress walking my way, from inside the office. We locked eyes. She was just so beautiful, I couldn't look away, my mind was blank. I had no clue who she was and I'm not sure she knew who I was, but she walked all the way up to me and introduced herself. Up until this point we still hadn't broken eye contact as we greeted each other. Turns out she was going to open the account for me. This girl was what I would imagine an angel to look like. 9/10 easily.

For some reason, after locking eyes for so long and not looking away, I felt that mutual trust and respect had been established. I was completely at ease when normally I'd be lost for words if I had approached this woman out of nowhere. As we sat in her office, there was more eye contact. The type of eye contact that you'd see in the scene between Bond and Severine (must watch). She ended up hinting at me to get her number.

I didn't even run any game or attempt to flirt, just had friendly conversation. I find this to be a pattern among many women - your body language communicates so much more than what comes out of your mouth. Attraction in my opinion is largely primal and can potentially have far more to do with simple observation rather than what's being discussed.

Crazy stuff. Eye contact means a lot. Prolonged eye contact shows fearlessness, trust, respect, admiration, honesty, and interest. Big part of game.

Edit: I will say if you have problems with eye contact just meditate everyday. Takes away all the anxiety and allows you to hold it indefinitely.
 

IamtheAlphamale

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 14, 2003
Messages
576
Reaction score
108
100%. Eye contact can seal the deal before you even open your mouth. I remember my most shocking pickup of all time.

One day had to go into the bank to open an account. Scheduled an appointment and someone with a unisex name was assigned to meet me.

I went into the bank and was asked to wait in the waiting area, expecting a guy. As I looked over my shoulder, saw this absolutely gorgeous blonde in a tight black dress walking my way, from inside the office. We locked eyes. She was just so beautiful, I couldn't look away, my mind was blank. I had no clue who she was and I'm not sure she knew who I was, but she walked all the way up to me and introduced herself. Up until this point we still hadn't broken eye contact as we greeted each other. Turns out she was going to open the account for me. This girl was what I would imagine an angel to look like. 9/10 easily.

For some reason, after locking eyes for so long and not looking away, I felt that mutual trust and respect had been established. I was completely at ease when normally I'd be lost for words if I had approached this woman out of nowhere. As we sat in her office, there was more eye contact. The type of eye contact that you'd see in the scene between Bond and Severine (must watch). She ended up hinting at me to get her number.

I didn't even run any game or attempt to flirt, just had friendly conversation. I find this to be a pattern among many women - your body language communicates so much more than what comes out of your mouth. Attraction in my opinion is largely primal and can potentially have far more to do with simple observation rather than what's being discussed.

Crazy stuff. Eye contact means a lot. Prolonged eye contact shows fearlessness, trust, respect, admiration, honesty, and interest. Big part of game.

Edit: I will say if you have problems with eye contact just meditate everyday. Takes away all the anxiety and allows you to hold it indefinitely.
I agree with everything you said. And that's a good story. Well done.

The only thing I would say, is that hypnosis is much more efficient and powerful than meditation and can be found at very low prices by some impressive hypnotists online. Mark bowden is who I use
 
Top