Once the respect is gone is there any way to get it back?

[Slowhandluke]

man , no offense … but your ancestors were not happy living together . There might be some that were , but most of them were not . They were marrying for money between them first of all . Not that different than nowadays

have no idea what is this romantic view on the old time , but human beings were sh1t 3k years ago and are sh1t also in present days

That's a nihilist opinion... You must be fun at parties. Why even bother with seduction at this point? The warm comfort of empty, timeless space sounds much more interesting than this current construct that we are living in ;-) hahahahahahah

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

Been there bro, I feel ya. Last night I finally blocked my version of your gal. She’ll probably email me begging back, but **** her. Such a shame great piece of arse.

Just walk it ain’t worth it.

So my BPD LTR ended today, posted about it last year and ended up staying with her for another year. I rationalised it by assuming her out of control behaviour was just typical woman stuff and the sex was great, probably the best Ive had so that kept me going.

So normal behaviour for her is starting a fight (usually out of nothing), grabbing all her things (and any gifts she has given me) storming out of the house and going no contact for days sometimes up to a week. I used to call her during these breaks but found out pretty quickly that it just made it worse so now I deal with it by doing nothing and eventually she calls me back pretending nothing happened and nothings wrong. We bang and hang for about another week then she'll start that process again. I could go into details about the BPD craziness but thats not on topic.

Lately its been getting worse, fighting over more stupid **** then usual (thats saying something) and the level of disrespect is getting brutal. Previously I was able to deploy a level of stoicism, grit my teeth and wait for the storm to pass but this new level is starting to get to me. Im losing my ****, yelling back etc and today's breakup was a direct result from that. The question is what to do from here?

Her BPD will force her to reach out eventually but probably not before she starts monkey branching (she ended up ****ing some guy last year after one of these breakups which I forgave as I was doing the same because technically we were broken up). I mean is my standard to low or is this normal woman behaviour?

Is there anyway to get this thing on track or should I just get over it? Its day 1 so Im feeling miserable and if she called now I probably would take her back.

 

[Foe]

Been there bro, I feel ya. Last night I finally blocked my version of your gal. She’ll probably email me begging back, but **** her. Such a shame great piece of arse.

Just walk it ain’t worth it.

What happened? What was it that finally made you block her? I miss my great piece of ass man, god damn she was hot. Saw mine on bumble this morning, that's a total of three days it took her to start up the single life. Its kind of funny cause she asked me once how long it would take to get over her and I said probably about a month, she got so offended yet here she is three days later.....

 

[Bigpapa]

That's a nihilist opinion... You must be fun at parties. Why even bother with seduction at this point? The warm comfort of empty, timeless space sounds much more interesting than this current construct that we are living in ;-) hahahahahahah

I do not take things seriously , that is the entire catch

life is too serious to take it seriously

same thing with the career . When I was young I want to prove myself , make money etc

people were afraid of me and my career stalled . Since I started not caring my career exploded

same thing with women , I do not care if I sleep with them or not , but I always push for sex and things improved massively because women can smell when you are too eager and will try to stall it so they can negotiate the best deal for them

that is why playing the lover card and not the boyfriend one is the most rewarding card that you can play with women

basically what chads or bad boys do

it is not nihilistic view , it is a stoic one

 

[Slowhandluke]

it is not nihilistic view , it is a stoic one

Most of your opinion regarding the average man/woman and about relationships are at irrational; are not based on facts (you barely specify any while I hint at numerous scientific studies). Instead, these opinions come off as being very emotional, very Misanthropic.

Stoic people are very rational and not emotional. They see how the world is base on facts and to a lot of people they seem ambivalent about the world. You don't seem to fill this definition by your posts.

What Is a Stoic Person?

A Stoic is an adherent of Stoicism, an ancient Greek and Roman philosophy of life. Stoics thought that, in order to be happy, we must learn to distinguish between what we can control and what we cannot.

daily-philosophy.com

Your posts verge on nihilism, but definitely come off as being Misanthropic. Your hatred and disgust with the common man is palpable. This is not how a stoic should act or feel.

Whatever, you be you. Perhaps your posts do not really reflect who you are, but going only by your postings, you lean more towards being a misanthropist.

 

[Bigpapa]

Most of your opinion regarding the average man/woman and about relationships are at irrational; are not based on facts (you barely specify any while I hint at numerous scientific studies). Instead, these opinions come off as being very emotional, very Misanthropic.

Stoic people are very rational and not emotional. They see how the world is base on facts and to a lot of people they seem ambivalent about the world. You don't seem to fill this definition by your posts.

What Is a Stoic Person?

A Stoic is an adherent of Stoicism, an ancient Greek and Roman philosophy of life. Stoics thought that, in order to be happy, we must learn to distinguish between what we can control and what we cannot.

daily-philosophy.com

Your posts verge on nihilism, but definitely come off as being Misanthropic. Your hatred and disgust with the common man is palpable. This is not how a stoic should act or feel.

Whatever, you be you. Perhaps your posts do not really reflect who you are, but going only by your postings, you lean more towards being a misanthropist.

Read the history , then come back with something relevant

right now you only have an emotional response to something that you never thought about and you do not like , as most likely it will just destroy whatever universe you built for yourself if you would accept

 

[Slowhandluke]

Read the history , then come back with something relevant

right now you only have an emotional response to something that you never thought about and you do not like , as most likely it will just destroy whatever universe you built for yourself if you would accept

These are the facts I mentioned and that you could easily verify:

1) studies show in arranged marriages, the people report higher levels of happies.
2) more men work within jobs that support western culture infrastructure (like building roads, trucking food, plumbing, etc.)
3)there are more societies throughout history that have men pairing of with women. Other forms of relationships are a minority.
4) average men are AVERAGE by definition. This hasn't changed throughout time. This is the same for the AVERAGE woman.
5) the majority of cultures throughout history, the woman submitted to the man.
6) Presently, societies that practice feminist ideas are a minority. Ideas like woman should sleep around.. talk back to their husbands, etc.. these ideas are not practice by the majority of society TODAY. Feminism is not rampant in China, it's not rampant in India, eastern europe, asia, etc..


The above are just some of the facts I have posted in this thread. you on the other hand, rely on grand statements and opinions based on your views personal views like the following excerpts:

"man , no offense … but your ancestors were not happy living together . There might be some that were , but most of them were not . They were marrying for money between them first of all . Not that different than nowadays

have no idea what is this romantic view on the old time , but human beings were sh1t 3k years ago and are sh1t also in present days "

A lot of what you say is very emotional. Based a lot on assumptions that lean towards either being nihilist or misanthropic. How do you know our ancestors were happy or not happy living together? According to a lot of biographies and old written records (the bible, koran, stone tablets, papaya scripts) , people did seem to want to pair up. Obviously, your last statement from the excerpt is very emotional and very misanthropic.

You can say your a stoic. I don't think you know what that word means.

 

[Slowhandluke]

As the husband of an East Asian women can testify that they absolutely do talk back to their husbands and their men, by and large, are massively blue pill.

I'm Asian. I agree to a certain extent to what u say. Western influences through TV, movies ect., do affect culture. However, there is a spectrum. The typical Asian woman from Asian will be more feminine than the typical western woman.

Also, by not being Asian and marrying an Asian woman almost guarantees you married a woman who is not as feminine. Most female Asians from Asia would rather marry other Asians. The ones that are willing to marry foreigner are usually more atypical.

 

[Bigpapa]

This isn’t about you. It’s about how cultures develop their unique identities because people are tribal. If we weren’t tribal then there’d be no countries, races or wars.

I think that a great example of this is what is happening now in the world were extremist right parties are getting more and more popular , especially in the economic powerful countries

just a matter of time till we get back to the 30s

 

[Bigpapa]

there’s a history with Pan basically saying I’ve chumped out and that white women are the apex of achievement.

This goes back a long way and he always pops up when I mention my wife and says something derogatory.

perhaps I’m different as I always preferred foreign women.

I believe people date in their own race due to shared ground which naturally would be reflected in people from similar races.

i think class is just as important. People will happily marry and date people in other races in their own social class more than a middle class person would date a working class person and vice versa.

if you pull out race as the only variable in this you’ll find the results your want.

id far rather date middle class foreign women than working class white. And so would most people here, unless they’re working class.

man , no offense but you are not as open minded as you think you are

you still have something with working class women

most Corporate women are more broke than the working class women , and more likely to be on anti depressives etc

overall I think that the working class woman is a better deal than most of the corporate women

 

[Bigpapa]

i can’t be in a relationship with someone who can’t understand basic world events.

No offense man but you can not really talk with a woman about world events or whatever , because in the vast majority of cases they do not really understand them

Women are different than men . This are stuff that you talk with your friends , not with your wife

it is a very pessimistic approach but this the reality unfortunately

and to give you an example , when the Ukrainian war started I was dating this chick that has A brother that is half Russian ( her dad married a Russian chick ) .

the only thing that she understood from that is that her half brother can not access most of the money that he had because they were in a Russian bank , and she was worried that she will have to take care of him

I on the other hand , being a citizen of a country next to the conflict I had such a big dildo on my ass because I was and still am worried about being forced to draft for the military , and when I told her to stop complaining about her half brother because there are other things that can go way worse than that , guess what . She did not understood

women understand things only based on how those things is affecting them . They can not have a lensed out impartial opinion about something

 

[Bigpapa]

I don’t care about the draft. I’m almost 40. I think the draft could be a good thing given the absolute state of our youth.

You do not , but I do . I am in my early 30s , perfect age to be on the battlefield , and I do not want to fight a war because both parties are just as toxic

the thing that you are missing is that your reality is not my reality or the persons next to you reality

you either try to be as impartial as possible and try to understand the other person point and then try to reach something that is good for everyone . Either just accept that your reality is different than the others person reality and leave things how they are

my father also has mental problems , but you see the difference between me and you is that I accepted things early on and was impartial . Sure it felt like sh1t , but I knew that I can not help him anymore and I will just go loco too if I would just put the problem under the rug

instead of a broken guy , I came out stronger

we are the sum Of our decisions . Some were good some were bad . It is important to learn from them and maybe even try to help other people how to navigate better through something similar

Unfortunately life gives us more sh1t than good things . How we react to when it gives us the sh1t is the most important thing

like rocky balboa says , it is not about how strong your punch is , it is about how many punches you can take and still be able to continue

 

[Zimbabwe]

I don’t think the sex tourists realise that they are all banging the same tiny pool of Asian wh0res.

People actually don’t typically like to bang outside of their race unless there has been a huge national trauma (like a bad defeat in a war and the country gets occupied for example). The culture may lose its identity at that point and thus women are easy to bang when their culture is destroyed and a new culture takes over. Japan experienced this. So did Germany.

If it’s a culture with a strong identity and history (China for example) the pool of Asian women who are interested in foreigners is, percentage wise, quite small.

A lot of Asian guys are insecure af about white men banging "their" women. So they spread misinformation about half asians being incels even though most half asians are celebs in Asia.

 

[Foe]

OP, question...why the hell would you want to be in this sort of toxic relationship? This is no way to live bro. You can do better, you just have to start believing it.

Im starting to see it for what it was man, its so weird when you are emotionally tied to a girl you just blind yourself to the situation. Im starting to feel much better about this nightmare being over and looking towards a brighter future.

The cravings for her body haven't left yet though, she was a legit 9 and was bordering on a sex addict so that's going to be hard to top. Still not worth it though and I'm happy I can finally say that with some conviction.

 

[Gamisch]

Im starting to see it for what it was man, its so weird when you are emotionally tied to a girl you just blind yourself to the situation. Im starting to feel much better about this nightmare being over and looking towards a brighter future.

The cravings for her body haven't left yet though, she was a legit 9 and was bordering on a sex addict so that's going to be hard to top. Still not worth it though and I'm happy I can finally say that with some conviction.

Yeah man, we can all act like the coolest dude at the block, at the end of the day we all been there. Still I believe there are deeper things at play. I believe a physical beautiful woman combined with batsht crazy behavior can make her a 6 at best. 4 point deduction for her behaviour.

And when your self esteem grows that will be even more points deduction. Makes her a legit 4 at best.

Like I say in my first paragraph, it's just scarcity mindset, familiarity, a bruised ego that tries to restore itself. Our mind plays tricks on us. Bc what the hell does she really being to the table besides stress?

I posted a similar thread and someone gave me the perfect reply: she is stealing (from) your frame. Feeding off your frame. She is a 9 bc you make yourself a 5. Let's turn that sht around ; now she is a 5 and YOU are a 9. Let's see how you view her now...like a hopeless pile of sht that's not worth your precious time. Good luck brother

 

[Foe]

Yeah man, we can all act like the coolest dude at the block, at the end of the day we all been there. Still I believe there are deeper things at play. I believe a physical beautiful woman combined with batsht crazy behavior can make her a 6 at best. 4 point deduction for her behaviour.

And when your self esteem grows that will be even more points deduction. Makes her a legit 4 at best.

Like I say in my first paragraph, it's just scarcity mindset, familiarity, a bruised ego that tries to restore itself. Our mind plays tricks on us. Bc what the hell does she really being to the table besides stress?

I posted a similar thread and someone gave me the perfect reply: she is stealing (from) your frame. Feeding off your frame. She is a 9 bc you make yourself a 5. Let's turn that sht around ; now she is a 5 and YOU are a 9. Let's see how you view her now...like a hopeless pile of sht that's not worth your precious time. Good luck brother

Thanks man, you have been a awesome support from the start of this thread, wish I could repay the favour with a beer but just want you to know Im thankful. Ill get to the 9 dude, Im not there yet but the Russian girl gave me a mad high five a couple of days ago so I know all is not lost.....Application is the cure for the uncertain and now I feel less apprehensive. I got ground down, not even sure how but the betaisation by a thousand concessions definitely applies to my situation. Im annoyed I gave her that power but it wasn't a obvious choice, more like lets just enjoy this moment and Ill suffer this abnormally of behaviour to get there. The stress is gone, like completely and now I feel free, its actually quite incredible.

 

[Bigpapa]

These are the facts I mentioned and that you could easily verify:

1) studies show in arranged marriages, the people report higher levels of happies.
2) more men work within jobs that support western culture infrastructure (like building roads, trucking food, plumbing, etc.)
3)there are more societies throughout history that have men pairing of with women. Other forms of relationships are a minority.
4) average men are AVERAGE by definition. This hasn't changed throughout time. This is the same for the AVERAGE woman.
5) the majority of cultures throughout history, the woman submitted to the man.
6) Presently, societies that practice feminist ideas are a minority. Ideas like woman should sleep around.. talk back to their husbands, etc.. these ideas are not practice by the majority of society TODAY. Feminism is not rampant in China, it's not rampant in India, eastern europe, asia, etc..


The above are just some of the facts I have posted in this thread. you on the other hand, rely on grand statements and opinions based on your views personal views like the following excerpts:

"man , no offense … but your ancestors were not happy living together . There might be some that were , but most of them were not . They were marrying for money between them first of all . Not that different than nowadays

have no idea what is this romantic view on the old time , but human beings were sh1t 3k years ago and are sh1t also in present days "

A lot of what you say is very emotional. Based a lot on assumptions that lean towards either being nihilist or misanthropic. How do you know our ancestors were happy or not happy living together? According to a lot of biographies and old written records (the bible, koran, stone tablets, papaya scripts) , people did seem to want to pair up. Obviously, your last statement from the excerpt is very emotional and very misanthropic.

You can say your a stoic. I don't think you know what that word means.

- YouTube

Enjoy the videos and music you love, upload original content, and share it all with friends, family, and the world on YouTube.

youtube.com

A summary of what I have said by someone else

 

[Slowhandluke]

- YouTube

Enjoy the videos and music you love, upload original content, and share it all with friends, family, and the world on YouTube.

youtube.com

A summary of what I have said by someone else

you said, " have no idea what is this romantic view on the old time , but human beings were sh1t 3k years ago and are sh1t also in present days ".

Jordan Peterson basically says in the video life is 100x better today. It's not "sh1t". I never said life wasn't tough.. Life has been tough and women and men worked together to make life better. Women and men teamed up to avoid starvation, pestilence, violence from nature, etc..
Give up. Your line of thinking sucks. Just take the "L" like a man and move on.

 

[Bigpapa]

you said, " have no idea what is this romantic view on the old time , but human beings were sh1t 3k years ago and are sh1t also in present days ".

Jordan Peterson basically says in the video life is 100x better today. It's not "sh1t". I never said life wasn't tough.. Life has been tough and women and men worked together to make life better. Women and men teamed up to avoid starvation, pestilence, violence from nature, etc..
Give up. Your line of thinking sucks. Just take the "L" like a man and move on.

the idea was that it was bad then , and it is bad now

now it is not as bad as it was , but still people think that it was better back in the days

 

[Foe]

Her BPD will force her to reach out eventually but probably not before she starts monkey branching

Pretty sad update, so yeah it happened about 2 months ago. I was struggling with the plate spinning and dating felt empty when she reached out and started breadcrumbing me. I was bang on about her reaching out after her first bad sexual experience with a new guy. Exactly what happened.

I was weak, I went back for two more months of crazy good sex and more of the plain old crazy. Got holes smashed in my walls, security cameras ripped off walls two weeks ago and last night she started beating my big screen tv with a shoe. It was at this point I pushed her out the door, told her I never want to see her again and blocked her on all social media.

Im half expecting the police to turn up at my door or for her to key my car as shes always had the final word in the previous breakup's. I guess this is more of a tale of caution, I never really had frame, things never changed, no responsibility was ever taken by her for anything as it was always my fault, which I guess it is considering I was warned.

So there you go, more evidence you should not get back with a ex as the problems you faced before you will inevitably face again.