On the fence with this one

[ArmyStrong90]

There was a girl I met on campus, she was a transfer student looking to meet new people and get involved on campus etc. (not that it matter in my story) things I noticed about her was that she was incredibly energetic and somewhat flirty. I got the impression that she was interested in me based on her body language, the eye banter we had back and forth before I approached her so the approach and all was golden through and through Overtime I began to make it known that I was interested to via body language (touching, kissing her, etc.) we would always flirt back and forth as well and often times she did it more. I also did try to make out with her however she wasn't all that about it (I got the impression and knew right there and then that she wanted me as a friend and I WAS RIGHT!) we had good rapport there were times where she would initiate texts and I as well but things ended abruptly. For some reason I had this impression that she must be having a man on the side. I have noticed that if there is a girl I find attractive, that she acts the way a girl that wants to date me would act; these girls always have a man they are dating or a man that they have a strong emotional connection with--just my luck. In her case I was also right because when I wanted to invite her out to a party she told me she was going to stay home and seemed really depressed and goes on to tell me that she got hurt by a man she really cared for and whom she knew way before her and I met. I thought to myself that maybe this can be the reason why she wanted our relationship to be platonic and why she wasn't at all receptive when I tried to kiss her? whatever the case maybe she was really bummed out and seemed to have given up hope on guys (which I know is complete BULL****) one time we met up on campus and we were talking about ourselves because I wanted her to know or get the idea that I was not trying to be platonic because at this point I began to like her (she has been aware) she goes on to tell me that she is still getting over the dude that "crushed" her, that she did not want me to be a "rebound" and that if there was one thing she can tell me was that "fine wine takes time" implying that it will take time to get to know her and for her to be comfortable with me. I spoke to my boy about this and he didn't tell me to drop her but to keep in touch with her often--give her the space she wants to heal up from her wound and until then I ought to talk to other girls (sometimes giving someone space is a good thing) I am currently doing that, we haven't seen each other in person for awhile now just messages off and on via text. If she was any younger than 24 I wouldn't care much about her because I would assume that she is just playing games etc. but in this case she is my age, 25. The dilemma that I am in at the moment is whether or not I should DEAD her (because she does want to get to know me better) another dilemma is that if I don't talk to her much she would eventually ASSUME that I am no longer interested and eventually date another dude (has happened to me before and it sucks) where is the happy medium between no contact and too much contact? the last form of it we had was on thanksgiving when she sent me a happy thanksgiving text and I replied with a "you too" two days later I text her asking how hers went and she goes on to tell me that she was currently at the gym blah blah and that her break was good.

 

[Bible_Belt]

and through Overtime I began to make it known that I was interested

The problem is that you took too much time, and let yourself get friendzoned. The old saying, "no one will buy the cow when you give the milk away for free" is about women giving away sex. But it could just as likely apply to men giving away attention. You gave away too much without getting anything in return.

I do have female friends, but only because we have already had sex. I don't believe in the concept of male-female friendship between people who haven't fvcked. Otherwise, it's not friendship; it's the woman being naive and the man being desperate.

The odds are that you've already blown it with this girl. I would respond to texts from her, but never text first. The outside chance you have of her coming around will only happen if she initiates. Maybe she'll be drunk and horny some night and text you to come fvck her. You might as well leave things open to that.

 

[ArmyStrong90]

and through Overtime I began to make it known that I was interested

The problem is that you took too much time, and let yourself get friendzoned. The old saying, "no one will buy the cow when you give the milk away for free" is about women giving away sex. But it could just as likely apply to men giving away attention. You gave away too much without getting anything in return.

I do have female friends, but only because we have already had sex. I don't believe in the concept of male-female friendship between people who haven't fvcked. Otherwise, it's not friendship; it's the woman being naive and the man being desperate.

The odds are that you've already blown it with this girl. I would respond to texts from her, but never text first. The outside chance you have of her coming around will only happen if she initiates. Maybe she'll be drunk and horny some night and text you to come fvck her. You might as well leave things open to that.

I won't put money on that the drunk night thing man lol. I am not so sure about me having taken so much time because this whole ordeal was 2 and a half weeks. Remember I did mention that whole time we we're seeing each other, that she had strong feelings for man for a good bit all he needed to do was not do her dirty. I am not trying to rationalize the friend zone thing but every woman doesn't respond the same when it comes to a guy making the move too soon. Because it seems to me that you thought I took too much time when in fact I was dead already because she already had a man (I just didn't know until she got heart broken) As far as showing her that I wanted her? I did what I can do based on her comfort levels (ie I'm not gonna force myself on her) when you told me to not initiate any contact, what if it's just her not trying to act all needy

 

[Roober]

Sounds like a friend zone. I will also say this for everyone else... why are you tripping on a girl you haven't had secks with?

 

[wifehunter]

Yeah, if you want to stay out of the friend zone, let her know you're interested early on, then disappear.

 

[ArmyStrong90]

Yeah, if you want to stay out of the friend zone, let her know you're interested early on, then disappear.

Lol yea man she knows. In fact a week during the time we were seeing each other, we were talking about ourselves and she told me straight up that she knows that "I am into her" I don't think my actions were beta because I did make moves on her when appropriate. I was telling my friend about this whole thing, he's been in a relationship for quite awhile now, and he told me that it seems as if she doesn't really know what she wants at this point since it looks like she is trying to heal up emotionally. Maybe she doesn't have much trust for guys anymore? who knows--all I know is that I did my part with her. All I can do is wait, meet other girls and be cordial when I do run into her on campus. My only fear is that she will end up dating someone then be that same girl she was when we first met then go on and tell me that she thought I was not interested in her during this whole time I have disappeared. NOT THE CASE, I know she went through some **** and I am giving her the space she needs to get back to normal, HOWEVER this does not mean that I am no longer interested (I conveyed this message to her) I don't mind going ghost for awhile but I do it with the intent of making her wonder what happened to me and re-sparking the interest.

 

[dude99]

There was a girl I met on campus, she was a transfer student looking to meet new people and get involved on campus etc. (not that it matter in my story) things I noticed about her was that she was incredibly energetic and somewhat flirty. I got the impression that she was interested in me based on her body language, the eye banter we had back and forth before I approached her so the approach and all was golden through and through Overtime I began to make it known that I was interested to via body language (touching, kissing her, etc.) we would always flirt back and forth as well and often times she did it more. I also did try to make out with her however she wasn't all that about it (I got the impression and knew right there and then that she wanted me as a friend and I WAS RIGHT!) we had good rapport there were times where she would initiate texts and I as well but things ended abruptly. For some reason I had this impression that she must be having a man on the side. I have noticed that if there is a girl I find attractive, that she acts the way a girl that wants to date me would act; these girls always have a man they are dating or a man that they have a strong emotional connection with--just my luck. In her case I was also right because when I wanted to invite her out to a party she told me she was going to stay home and seemed really depressed and goes on to tell me that she got hurt by a man she really cared for and whom she knew way before her and I met. I thought to myself that maybe this can be the reason why she wanted our relationship to be platonic and why she wasn't at all receptive when I tried to kiss her? whatever the case maybe she was really bummed out and seemed to have given up hope on guys (which I know is complete BULL****) one time we met up on campus and we were talking about ourselves because I wanted her to know or get the idea that I was not trying to be platonic because at this point I began to like her (she has been aware) she goes on to tell me that she is still getting over the dude that "crushed" her, that she did not want me to be a "rebound" and that if there was one thing she can tell me was that "fine wine takes time" implying that it will take time to get to know her and for her to be comfortable with me. I spoke to my boy about this and he didn't tell me to drop her but to keep in touch with her often--give her the space she wants to heal up from her wound and until then I ought to talk to other girls (sometimes giving someone space is a good thing) I am currently doing that, we haven't seen each other in person for awhile now just messages off and on via text. If she was any younger than 24 I wouldn't care much about her because I would assume that she is just playing games etc. but in this case she is my age, 25. The dilemma that I am in at the moment is whether or not I should DEAD her (because she does want to get to know me better) another dilemma is that if I don't talk to her much she would eventually ASSUME that I am no longer interested and eventually date another dude (has happened to me before and it sucks) where is the happy medium between no contact and too much contact? the last form of it we had was on thanksgiving when she sent me a happy thanksgiving text and I replied with a "you too" two days later I text her asking how hers went and she goes on to tell me that she was currently at the gym blah blah and that her break was good.

She isn't interested now so there would be no difference if shw started to see another dude even if you are talking to her. You should next her.

Women lie. And for some reason men justify their lies with rationalising and hope. She lied to you.

" i got hurt by a guy and i don't want you to be the rebound guy." Let me clarify what she is saying
" i don't want to date you. "
Wanting to keep your relationship platonic because "fine wine takes time," is bs also. Let me clarify that for you.
"I'm hoping you can take a hint. I don't want to kiss you etc. Etc. Etc. Becsuse i don't want to date you."
If you were brad pit or a multi millionaire she would suddenly forget she even had an ex.

I find it amusing how 9 out of 10 chicks will jump in the sack to revenge ffck their ex as quickly as possible, with a guy they are interested in, but suddenly discover all these hurt feelings and morals about rebounds and waiting when a guy they aren't interested in, shows his interest.

Yes. Dead this girl as you put it. Do not buy her bs. Next.