Poet
Master Don Juan
Have you ever wondered why in retrospect you can anaylize every little detail about what went right & what went wrong when meeting a woman / starting a relationship?? You think..."Damn, I fukked up there, why did I do that / say that / think that / why did I say / do nothing?! etc.?" Or "that was a good line / time / meeting / experience / etc." or "That was the perfect thing to say / do / not do, ad nauseum"....If only we(i) had that clarity of thought at the moment it was happening! The techniques on this board certainly help with this problem but....
Now I've been thinking & for me personally, it seems that the problem is (when it occurs which is less & less thankfully) that I loose myself in the subjective moment & fail to see objectively how I am being viewed & how the situation is developing. Ross Jeffries talks about visualizing experiences from 2 different views...to increase confident thought you see the experience through your eyes, the un-successful way is to see yourself as if you are watching a movie somehow outside yourself as if seing a picture. I agree as to the reasons the first way is more effective in building confident visualizations of self in successful actions but the second way to me also has value because it tells you how you are doing in the situation. In this case not a visualization of an abstract or imagined action but the ability in your mind to step back & "see" what is happening while at the same time being right there, looking thru your eyes in all the subjective mishmash of sensory onslaught...all the things that can confuse you & contradict you...all the info you need to filter & gauge & react to in a continuous on-going fashion.
It seems this is a higher level skill because it implies the ability to act & react moment to moment while assessing / stepping outside your subjective view & monitoring your actions. Envision runnning along a road, you see the road & the trees, the cars, you smell the flowers, you hear the dog barkinng, you feel your feet hit the ground, etc...now in this analogy you also see yourself running as if standing above or from a helicopter, now you see that car coming at you from the right, the dog that looks mean & might bite ya! etc. This is what I am getting at. You hold 2 views at once. The seduction of the moment & the woman's presence makes view one full of things that can impede your thinking & reacting process'. View 2 is a long shot view of the whole scene & is more objective. Is it possible to keep both pictures in your mind at all times or to switch from one to the other? The mental ability to switch to view 2 might be something as simple as a thought "How am I doing here, how am I being perceived based on my actions?" i.e. simply not loosing track of your goals & your actions....I am not implying you second guess your actions constantly or question everything you say & do....that would undermiine all your confidence. We should have a plan of sorts & have a basic understanding of what we want to accomplish but at the same time (at least for me) I find it necessary to step back & weigh the situation at the moment. How do others see this. Do you ever wonder why hindsight is 20 / 20? It's because we act, react, act ,react, etc. We need (I need) to act,analyze (based on feedback), react, act, analyze (based on feedback), react! The key for me is to analyze feedback immediately & quickly, otherwise I can find myself totally at odds with the situation, lumbering ahead with my "agenda" & blissfully ignorant of the real situation. Part of the skill I need to develop is to become an "active listener" which means really hearing what someone is telling me....getting outside of my thoughts & into theirs, feedbacking on them based on what they are really saying. You can't walk like a sleepwalker, if your dreams are giving you direction that's fine but you have to open your eyes & SEE what is going on at the same time!
I probably overcomplexified a simple concept but it's one that I personally feel I need more work on...to not get "lost in the moment" & loose the sense of objective thought & purpose. To remain poised with "ice cold logic" & always be ready with the most correct response to the situation. Any thoughts or more less wordy ways of stating this? Poet
------------------
Action is all....words don't mean ****.
Trust your instincts & nothing else.
Now I've been thinking & for me personally, it seems that the problem is (when it occurs which is less & less thankfully) that I loose myself in the subjective moment & fail to see objectively how I am being viewed & how the situation is developing. Ross Jeffries talks about visualizing experiences from 2 different views...to increase confident thought you see the experience through your eyes, the un-successful way is to see yourself as if you are watching a movie somehow outside yourself as if seing a picture. I agree as to the reasons the first way is more effective in building confident visualizations of self in successful actions but the second way to me also has value because it tells you how you are doing in the situation. In this case not a visualization of an abstract or imagined action but the ability in your mind to step back & "see" what is happening while at the same time being right there, looking thru your eyes in all the subjective mishmash of sensory onslaught...all the things that can confuse you & contradict you...all the info you need to filter & gauge & react to in a continuous on-going fashion.
It seems this is a higher level skill because it implies the ability to act & react moment to moment while assessing / stepping outside your subjective view & monitoring your actions. Envision runnning along a road, you see the road & the trees, the cars, you smell the flowers, you hear the dog barkinng, you feel your feet hit the ground, etc...now in this analogy you also see yourself running as if standing above or from a helicopter, now you see that car coming at you from the right, the dog that looks mean & might bite ya! etc. This is what I am getting at. You hold 2 views at once. The seduction of the moment & the woman's presence makes view one full of things that can impede your thinking & reacting process'. View 2 is a long shot view of the whole scene & is more objective. Is it possible to keep both pictures in your mind at all times or to switch from one to the other? The mental ability to switch to view 2 might be something as simple as a thought "How am I doing here, how am I being perceived based on my actions?" i.e. simply not loosing track of your goals & your actions....I am not implying you second guess your actions constantly or question everything you say & do....that would undermiine all your confidence. We should have a plan of sorts & have a basic understanding of what we want to accomplish but at the same time (at least for me) I find it necessary to step back & weigh the situation at the moment. How do others see this. Do you ever wonder why hindsight is 20 / 20? It's because we act, react, act ,react, etc. We need (I need) to act,analyze (based on feedback), react, act, analyze (based on feedback), react! The key for me is to analyze feedback immediately & quickly, otherwise I can find myself totally at odds with the situation, lumbering ahead with my "agenda" & blissfully ignorant of the real situation. Part of the skill I need to develop is to become an "active listener" which means really hearing what someone is telling me....getting outside of my thoughts & into theirs, feedbacking on them based on what they are really saying. You can't walk like a sleepwalker, if your dreams are giving you direction that's fine but you have to open your eyes & SEE what is going on at the same time!
I probably overcomplexified a simple concept but it's one that I personally feel I need more work on...to not get "lost in the moment" & loose the sense of objective thought & purpose. To remain poised with "ice cold logic" & always be ready with the most correct response to the situation. Any thoughts or more less wordy ways of stating this? Poet
------------------
Action is all....words don't mean ****.
Trust your instincts & nothing else.
