On lenght of first e-mail

[NewBGkid]

First post...but I've been here for a while, trust me on that!

Pleanty of things I could share about my transformation from AFC into DJ but they are threads of their own with stories that might help other ex-"Nice Guy"s to figure out exactly why they're told by all the girls they're wonderful, yet they remain single.



On to my actual question with a fraction of who I am - I've been undergoing a HUGE internal mutation after reading Double Your Dating (and I am still reading and re-reading it and parts of the DJ Bible over and over again). I am not who I was, not even a month ago, when it comes to dealing with not only the ladies but people in general. It feels as if I've gotten my WAKEUP CALL and responded to it at last. I've gained an insane amount of confidence but could always use some more and you will find out why below.

Now, I got an e-mail AND a phone number from someone I am interested in. It was very easy, MUCH easier once I told my FEAR to go to hell.

Approach (not for the first time but with energy so great that it was even better than intial meeting), tons of C&F, light touch/kino and a happy happy me.

She appears interested as well - touches and her asking me for my address as she gave away her e-mail/phone number make me think that. (The address thing is after giving her a hard time for going out of state for a while and not considering writing to a certain group of people I happen to be a part of - she said she chainged her mind and would write ... to ME).

So wait a day or two, e-mail her, right? She'd be gone for a while but might have access to her e-mail while out of state with all the wi-fi spots everywhere these days.

About how long of an e-mail should it be? I fear this might be a flaw of mine, when really I should use things online to my advantage.

I've met many 8s 9s and even some 10s online where the intial few messages back and forth (MySpace) have been perfect (with the girl always appearing very interested and replying within minutes of reading my message) but as we'd get to know eachother I can't help but feel like the reason I'd not get a reply after the 6th-7th message exchange is that I've said too much or else the girl must have gotten bored of waiting for me to make the next move. Any suggestions are welcome...

Expect some amazing stories for me when the time's right, I already know for a fact that if I take my time and construct it right, I'd have at least one post worthy of being kept around for others that used to be anything like the me of the past, to read, for now I would simply appriciate any input from anyone and everyone on here.

 

[HereToImprove]

My opening emails I use are typically 3 sentences, with 1/3 about me, 1/3 about her, and 1/3 linking the first two sentences together to build rapport. I then finish with a qualifying question to help set a frame of selectiveness and high value, and to give her something to respond to me with.

My response rate is nearly 100% to the 25 or so emails I have sent on Match. Online dating is a small part of my game, but since I met my last LTR online, I owe it to myself to keep that option open.


Here is one I have field tested that works well on, in this case, tall, liberal girls (the ones I tend to sarge online with my limited time) This particular one led to massive IOIs and a meet, though she was a real weirdo in person, in spite of being hot. I nexted her. Anyway, this one and slight variations have a 100% field response rate so far.

Subject: Lanky Liberals Have More Fun

Hey,

I've noticed that us tall liberals have to be super picky on here. After all, we are just so darn sexy, we can't date everyone, can we? Its also good that you like variety in life, because I just can't do the same thing every day.

What is something you have done in the last month that you had never done before?

 

[NewBGkid]

brilliant, that ought to get her talkin'!

I could see this e-mail being absolutely awesome for someone you've found online.

Your "formula" of 1/3 here 1/3 there and 1/3 to link the two parts makes sense too...

however, I suppose it's slightly different when you've already been spending time with the person talking but did not have any contact information OUTSIDE of the one meeting place (this applies to places such as a college class you and her might be sharing, workplace [bad idea] or other reocurring events - think the gym but in a class scenario, group of people for the most part, very few minutes of "alone time" inbetween).

Well...it seems crazy for me to possibly be seeing the answer to my own question better now but I suppose I should just be myself, avoid long rants if possible and if she doesn't like that NEXTing would seem like the only proper thing to do. Or am I missing something?

 

[Johnnie5]

Originally posted by NewBGkid

I've met many 8s 9s and even some 10s online where the intial few messages back and forth (MySpace) have been perfect (with the girl always appearing very interested and replying within minutes of reading my message) but as we'd get to know eachother I can't help but feel like the reason I'd not get a reply after the 6th-7th message exchange is that I've said too much or else the girl must have gotten bored of waiting for me to make the next move. Any suggestions are welcome...

6th or 7th email ???

IMHO it shouldnt get that far , after 2 or 3 you should have the number and be meeting IRL

 

[NewBGkid]

You're right, a part of my mistake in the past used to be that I'd end up being the online buddy...how silly, right?

The example was from my pre-Double Your Dating/Don Juan discovery days...much has changed since. I know the e-mail is eventually merely a mean to an end, I guess I was just curious how some of the forum members put it to best use EVEN if they got both the e-mail AND the phone number.

(In my case I have both, but know for a fact that the girl's out of state for the rest of the week and she didn't specify if it's a home phone # or a private cell of her own)

 

[Johnnie5]

I dunno about you and some others but i really like the online dating

you get to find people that are interested , having great photos helps as obviously the attraction starts there , I like the sites where you can send a wink/kiss th show your IL and they reply if they are interested and you go from there

the other benefit is you read a lot about them before you email and this gives you subjects to hit on and write about in your email, eg they like travel , you can talk about where you have travelled

the important thing when emailing is to ask questions, as this gives them something to reply to and are more likely to reply as it is easy to answer questions

do this 2 or 3 times and you have found out a lot of information

say in your 2nd email you talk about great places to eat and talk about trying a new place , thinking about heading there friday to try it out , interested

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by HereToImprove
Subject: Lanky Liberals Have More Fun

Minnesota is definitely full of Liberals but lanky Liberals? Can you find such a thing in Minnesota?

 

[NewBGkid]

Francisco d'Anconia's sig...is obviously what I should have thought of back when I was at 0 posts and I'd still be at 0 posts now.

In a way I knew I'd go for setting up the date whenever I we'd meet in real life with the help of my C&F skills and the magic of kino (using it last time she said I was hilarious with the biggest smile on her face) but I guess I wanted to see if you guys knew any tricks about creating an impactful e-mail that serves its basic purpose of indicating interest but also goes above and beyond the call of duty (without getting to be a 2 page essay of some sort, obviously).

 

[HereToImprove]

Plenty of them, but never enough.

You should do a maximum of two emails online, then one or two IM conversations, a phone call, then a meet. Any more and you just aren't generating attraction fast enough.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by NewBGkid
... but I guess I wanted to see if you guys knew any tricks about creating an impactful e-mail that serves its basic purpose of indicating interest but also goes above and beyond the call of duty (without getting to be a 2 page essay of some sort, obviously).

What does it more than the email is your profile. The profile alone can have all of the c/f, mystery and charisma that you ever need to pique her interest. With a good profile, you can increase their interest with two or two or three lines.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by HereToImprove
...You should do a maximum of two emails online, then one or two IM conversations, a phone call, then a meet. Any more and you just aren't generating attraction fast enough.

That seems like a bunch of work itself, I try my best to have her wanting to meet me within two interactions. Not to say that I wouldn't do more, but she has to be a cut above the rest to merit it. Plus I'd had to question her interest if I have to put forth a lot of effort. Either she's not very interested or even worse, she's a game player or an AW.

 

[NewBGkid]

benassi - you've got PM

HereToImprove - 2 things - 1 I agree with the thing you stated while I don't think the numbers are SET IN STONE the general idea of not becoming online pals or whatever is very true!!! and 2 I am curious how you view the e-mail if it is to be sent AFTER you've met the person a few times already [an inbetween communication, not intial]

Francisco d'Anconia - 2 things again - 1 I am getting better at filtering out the AWs ever since I've become much more aware of "the game" and 2 while directly sharing profiles out in the public space is something some people might be a bit concerned about (heck, that's what my PM to benassi was about) if anyone feels brave enough to share their profile or even just PM it this way as an example that would kick ass!

On a sidenote, if anyone's feeling motivated to create a "sample c/f, mystery and charisma" MySpace page of an imaginary character something (have a picture of a monkey for all I care) - that'd be a perfect entry for the TIPS section and could get quite popular considering how MySpace has so many users and is constantly growing. The advantage is that you wouldn't be giving away your personal profile/information and yet it would be no problem sharing it...hmmm but this is me going off-topic on my very own thread...so back to e-mail...and the ways to shock/impress in a few lines, even WITHOUT a MySpace profile attached to the e-mail