On going analysis

[Jeffrey12]

In order for me to master the game I've decided to start my own audit review of a situation with this chick. I'm doing this for 2 reasons.

1) so I can get some constructive advice on my mistakes, how I can do things better and learn to have an A star game and do things that others recommend on the field of battle haha and see what the reactions I get from this chick.

2) so others can learn from this situation and apply it to their own experiences with women.

Basically, met this chick. Been on 8 dates and slept with her about 4 times. Then my error was to grow semi feelings for this chick (red flag error). Naturally my game changed because mentally she was put on a pedal stool. Realising this and gradually seeing that the more mentally and emotionally attached I got the more the situation fizzled out. Cut a long story short flipped out one morning because she didn't communicate with me for about 10 hours on a Friday to Saturday morning so I assumed I was getting mugged off, played with etc. stupid of me I know, but we all make mistakes haha.

So is managed to somehow swindle my way back in the past couple of days... And you know how that was done. By not giving a **** and and going out and banging other chicks. So as we stand this is today's communication. Any advice would be appreciated and also I can give back advice based on this case study and my experiences

Me:Morning missy. See you later at 5:15 x

Chick: what we gna do x

Chick: cn we meet tmz my mum wants yo spemd day n night with me xx

Me: Call you in 20. Busy at work x

Chick: im with mum food shopping n sorting vank studf out

Me: Bit of bonding time for you . Was going to take you out

Chick: oh yah to see what

Chick:is it booked z

Chick: can we not do tmz jus so much stuff to do today x

Me: it's fine, I'll sort it out for tomorrow x

Chick: yaay wicked then I can dee stress

Chick: (sent me picture of her and her dog lol)

Me: Supposedly Alexandra Burke is the starring in the play. Should be the booooolacks! . Everything alright?

Chick: yeah ahh cool xx

Me: How comes you blocked me on instagram?

Chick:because I get jealous haha x

Me: About what?x

Chick:jus girks

Chick: what time tmz x

Chick: im hone now if ur aroubd

Chick: (left me a missed call didn't answer)

Called her back 45 minutes later spoke about her day about tomorrow and then I cut the conversation short. (Always good to not over so the chatting on the phone and been reading that it's best to be the person that ends communication )

 

[apprenticedj]

My friend it sounds like you know what you did wrong and you've taken some steps to try to correct it. Well done! The only thing I would've advised against was mentioning her blocking you on IG, she shouldn't know that you notice these things. That's my biggest gripe about social media sites, you're bombarded with snippets of this persons life and, if you're growing attached, it can lead to unnecessarily overanalyzing.

Now, provided you guys actually hang out, the real work begins. You need to keep yourself in check by continuing to bang other chicks. That's the only way.

 

[Jeffrey12]

My friend it sounds like you know what you did wrong and you've taken some steps to try to correct it. Well done! The only thing I would've advised against was mentioning her blocking you on IG, she shouldn't know that you notice these things. That's my biggest gripe about social media sites, you're bombarded with snippets of this persons life and, if you're growing attached, it can lead to unnecessarily overanalyzing.

Now, provided you guys actually hang out, the real work begins. You need to keep yourself in check by continuing to bang other chicks. That's the only way.

Thanks for adding your insight to it!! She did mention about 2 weeks ago that she couldn't have me on instagram because she was getting jealous. It was a throwaway comment but today she actually got rid of me. My mind keeps on playing tricks thinking it's cause she's getting involved elsewhere but on one pic she commented and said "yor car hard good air conditioning, use it ". For me that was her stamping her ground so other women read it ...

Anyhow, I'm taking her out tomorrow after getting back into the groove of things with her after 3 weeks.. How should I play it? How shall I be? What are the do's and don'ts?

 

[Jeffrey12]

so took the chick out. went theatre both got drunk and had sex, she slept round then i dropped her off.

highlights of the evening were comments when she was drunk like:

"i love you"
"you mean nothing to me" (when she asked what she meant to her i said i like you and her reply was that)
"how many women have you brought back here and slept with"
"you don't care about me"

(we didn't speak for 3 weeks because i got annoyed about something and went a bit too crazy down the phone)
"so her questions were have you dated with someone else"
"have you slept with someone else"
"have you kissed someone else"

what i've realised is since i've taken a more i don't give a fcuk stance on the situation with this chick, she's been been a lot more attention seeking towards me. but at the same time i do sense some conflicting messages from her. what my plan is to keep HER chasing for more. keep her mind fixated. like what games can be played? for example, today after i dropped her off she messaged me a couple of hours later saying:

"thanks for last night x".. how would you guys respond to this?


(my aim here is to limit my chances of ****ups with women, that are controllable on my side )

 

[Jeffrey12]

How's it going guys! Hope your enjoying the World Cup!!

So took this chick out on a date again on Thursday. Conclusion, she's a bit of a good time girl. Loves the drink and was dropping **** tests all night long lol. So we went to a bar to watch the football, I was watching it obviously and I let her be a go and dance with a random gay guy... My national team was playing haha!

This gay guy had straight mates obviously and they were trying to hit on her, she was conversing with them but had specified to them I was her bf/husband. But I got the drift she did like the flirt and was looking over in my direction to get a reaction.

How does one deal with scenarios like this?

We obviously had sex the same night and then the next day she text me saying thanks for last night. I simply replied with an 'x'

There's been no communication since then. Shall I simply wait for her to initiate all the communication or shall I sporadically message?

 

[Don-Kong]

She's playing, you're winning. Well done!

Not sure I like the idea of dating a girl for her to then flirt with other guys. She told you that she said you were her bf/hubby. Why did she say that? To stop the guys hitting on her or does this indicate her desired outcome? She could of course be lying and just playing games but I think that's assuming too much. My best guess is that she's into you and wants you to know it.

how did you deal with it? What happened when she told you? What did you say and do?

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

This gay guy had straight mates obviously and they were trying to hit on her, she was conversing with them but had specified to them I was her bf/husband. But I got the drift she did like the flirt and was looking over in my direction to get a reaction.

How does one deal with scenarios like this?

Mate. You did exactly the right thing. Just ignore it. It is the ultimate sh!t test and the only way to pass it is to ignore. You can't even really copy by flirting with other chicks, at least not at the same time, as it looks a bit spiteful/weak. One way to make her come running straight is to flirt with the bar maid though :yes: It is seen as simply circumstantial, and she would drop the gayboys and associated betas like a hot dog turd (why the f*ck are straights and gays hanging together anyway?? A bit suspect if you ask me - as in I doubt any of them were entirely hetero).

In my traditional view, she was out with you, therefore should have been with you. She knew what the nature of the date was, she f*cked up, and she knew it. Women these days can't help themselves though. You can test her right back by not inviting her to the next match and dropping it looselyin to convo after - and watch her face fall through the floor!

Good work on the lack of substantive text the next day too.

 

[Jeffrey12]

Well, I'm guessing it was said because she could see me acting slightly indifferent towards her and it was her way of trying to get out of the ****. She tried to explain herself and had puppy tears in her eyes saying she never would flirt with other guys in front of me, it was all innocent, that she told them all I was her bf/husband etc! I just fluffed it off and said that I didn't really give a **** and that we're both single and we can do what we want but just in future not to try and mug me off. It was said with no anger just a statement. Not going to lie though, I was kinda pissed off and just wanted to leave her at the bar and head home lol.

And I have flirted with the barmaids and waitresses infront of her. She didn't like that lol. And she made a snide remark about it and I laughed it off .

Just now I've received a message from her after 3 days. She simply said 'like my new trainers' and then sent me a picture of them. Her craving for attention? What's the best way to respond? (For don't reason I think these might have been bought for her by another bloke hmmm

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

She tried to explain herself and had puppy tears in her eyes saying she never would flirt with other guys in front of me, it was all innocent, that she told them all I was her bf/husband etc!
Chick rationalisation. She knows it, you know it.

I just fluffed it off and said that I didn't really give a **** and that we're both single and we can do what we want but just in future not to try and mug me off.
Perfect.

She simply said 'like my new trainers' and then sent me a picture of them. Her craving for attention?
Yup.

What's the best way to respond?
No response. That's a vacuous BS message. Like you wouldn't see her shoes next time she wore them....

Wait till she offers you out again, then respond.

Chicks like that need to be shown what a real man is. It can take months of NC. And even then it sometimes doesn't work. But those are the chicks that are best avoided. The ones that come back, they know what a good thing looks like.

Keep it up fella. Doing a fine job!

 

[Jeffrey12]

The ball is rolling. What a bit of indifferent silent treatment can do!

So as things stand for a few texts today and a missed call . Need to maintain my stance u believe because as things stand the tables have slightly turned.

"Hey, are you alive?"
"Message me I'm worried about you"

Kinda refreshing to an extent for my ego because I thought I was Chasing around shadows.

How would you guys reply to the above? Say that I've been busy and instantly arrange another date?

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

Personally I'd wait for her offer. Give the impression you have options, other life events going on, even if it isn't the case.

Reply tomorrow with something short and aloof - 'Still alive, thanks for asking'. Don't inquire about her.

She'll ask you out again in a day or three.

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

Oh. And leave your ego out of it; ego is a fragile thing when built upon one source of fulfillment.

Allow it to build your belief in yourself and add to your self-esteem.

 

[Jeffrey12]

Daily update :

We officially have a game player! So
as previously noted in the above messages this chick loves attention and at the same time craves it.. Decided to go cold turkey in her after she messaged me the day after last week's date. My reasoning, don't want to saturate her too much and don't want to come across as a needy AFU.. So she cracked yesterday and messaged and called so I got back to her a few hours later

"Still alive been busy, thanks for asking. How you been?"

Thought I'd keep it short and simple and semi polite...

Her reply was simply "good thanks"

She's playing the games here herself too haha.. How would you guys take that? It's quite funny that after her craving attention from me a few days ago with her sending me a picture of her new trainers and asking me if I liked them (which I ignored) and yesterday messaging me and leaving me a missed call and then when I get back to her she replies in a short and polite message..

 

[Jeffrey12]

What do you guys think?

 

[Skyline]

Why does she text like spell check corrects her for words that were probably correct in the first place? Why are you not using the phone to set up dates? Why are you phone - dates / prolonged conversation = getting nothing done?

If this is still the same girl why all this chasing and waiting? Seems sort of a waste of time, what're you trying to accomplish again? If you're trying to get her "interested" she already is, you're just taking/doing who knows what.

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

"Still alive been busy, thanks for asking. How you been?"

Jeff....

What did I tell you? Do not enquire about her. By asking 'how you been?' you let her know you still care even when she tried to deny her blatant flirting in your face last week. Hence she sees you are just playing a game and being ignorant and aloof. Hence she's playing the game right back.

There is no need to be 'polite' as you put it, to a woman like that at least until she has redeemed herself. You think dancing/flirting with some chump in your face was 'polite'?? NEXT!

Get a grip man!

One the plus side, responding to your situation has helped me arrive at a conclusion to one of my own. So thanks for that

 

[Jeffrey12]

So she wasn't getting the attention she wanted more like she expected. So I get a text saying:

"I think we should call it a day.. You haven't been giving me any attention.."

So my cold shoulder treatment could have gone pear shaped.. What it has done though is to am extent made her semi chase me and showed me that she is thinking about my actions or lack of actions lately.. Called her up and spoke for a bit just now and said I'll call her back in a few hours because I was busy.. How do you guys think I should play this now? Laugh it off saying I was busy and close a date ASAP...


This girl in my eyes comes across as a good time girl when she's been lavished withaattention from me in the past she goes all distant and takes ages to reply when I withhold attention she chases.. I need to find an equilibrium here lol

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

"I think we should call it a day.. You haven't been giving me any attention.."

Jeff...!

You've been on eight dates, and f*cked four times. Are you in love with this girl or not?

Actually, don't answer that. From a bystander's point of view, you are pandering to her far to much.

-You're calling her (I personally never call women, and rarely text unless it's arranging to meet up).
-She's seeking your attention ALL THE TIME. She's even telling you that's not enough when you go ghost for a couple of days. This is a sure sign of massive insecurity on her part. And it will get worse and worse, until she meets someone else, or you wake up one morning with four kids and a massive mortgage. Ask yourself this: if she's like this after 8 dates, what's she going to be like if you got married?
-She sends you pictures of her f*cking trainers for validation. I've seen puddles of p!ss with greater depth.


You are being used my friend, to prop up her fragile self-esteem. You just can't see it because you every time you think about her, your subconscious sees either her t!ts or her pnssy.

Don't call her back. When she gets back in contact again, which she will, you can use the same excuse again. She used the threat of ending it for attention as well - she admitted as much herself. She wants the validation of knowing someone wants to be with her. Just like when she was dancing with those other blokes. I would bet if you ignored her a bit longer, she will be chasing you.


Do what you want, obviously - I don't want a failed relationship's blood on my hands. But this is what I would do. If you are prepared to lose her (which you should be for anyone), this is what I would do.

Is this the love of your life? Are you willing to give her all this attention when she just goes seeking it elsewhere as soon as your back I turned?

Can you do better? (I know the answer, and so should you) :woo:

 

[Skyline]

When a girl is highly interested it will seem like she has a low self-esteem. Think the "waiting for him to call me" scenario. She waits by her phone all day to pick up a call for you, some will this insecurity while others will call this high interest. Her sending a picture was, well I don't consider that anything, but an attempt for a reaction. Same with that whole thing about her getting hit on, she said you were with her because she has high interest. The drunken "I love you's" and the fact you already have had sex with this girl, there isnt much left to do here. There is a huge difference from being used and her simply wanting you.

And its kind of inappropriate to hit on other girls whilst on a date with one.

 

[Jeffrey12]

Hey buddy..

Honestly im nowhere near in love. I'm just using this chick as a case study to try and master my game. Her being a bit more of a game player makes it better because it's all about adaptation to a specific scenario with her!

- my game in the past was all about communicating regularly on a day to day basis.. What I realised referring it to this chick is it works well when you first meet a chick because it's fresh and new for them and they're eager. Issue is from my experience after a while this wears out and constant communication becomes a liability. That's when I believe hot and cold air should be blown in order to keep yourself in their mind I could be wrong though

- what I want to get to is a weekly **** with her.. Bypass all this dating nonsense just a few drinks and then bosh back to my place we go.. Which what is funny I could do, but it was me semi chasing it around