On day of text do u guys text in morning or just after work sayin your on way?

[Shootin4Dreams]

Just checking i got new date tomorrow with a cute client from work and trying to see what to do. i dont see big deal either way. Also whats best way to get her to my house from dave and busters? And do you text day after or wait couple days to call and ask for the next date? What if we have sex tomorrow as well what is the best route. Thanks

 

[dustmuffin]

Wait a few days after date to set up the next one. Three days is good. Do not text her the day after. Do this even if you have sex. You have to come across as busy and that you have options. Ask her over for another drink? To see your etchings?

 

[Yewki]

And when you do, don't do the standard "Had a great time blah blah blah" bs.

The amount of guys on here that do crap like this is pretty astounding. It might not make a difference especially if the girl is already interested... but why go out of your way to make yourself look worse? Just, don't do it.

There needs to be like a basic text etiquette sticky to help people understand these very basic concepts

 

[dustmuffin]

He wants to know if he should verify the date too. I usually don't.

 

[Tictac]

Just checking i got new date tomorrow with a cute client from work and trying to see what to do. i dont see big deal either way. Also whats best way to get her to my house from dave and busters? And do you text day after or wait couple days to call and ask for the next date? What if we have sex tomorrow as well what is the best route. Thanks

It's nice to get laid fifteen minutes after you go out. But you're so focused on that that you are going to blow up the whole thing for it?

Sex starved are you?

 

[old_skoolr]

I usually make plans with a plate 2-3 days before ideally, though have known to make a plans a week away. If she agrees then sweet.

After that its no contact unless she initiates, on the day I usually text around noon saying

"We still on for tonight?"

If I get anything but a "Yes" I go no contact and end up doing something different.

 

[RangerMIke]

Also whats best way to get her to my house from dave and busters? Thanks

The best way is to not think about it. Any effort to get her back to your place on a first date will be perceived as you just interested in getting into her pants. If she want to go back to your place great... she will let you know, otherwise just have fun and assume NOTHING is going to happen... this will put you in the proper mind frame.

And do you text day after or wait couple days to call and ask for the next date?

Rule of thumb should be "Why" do you need to text her? If you have a good reason, then go ahead and text her. But if you are just playing digital footsie, you are not doing yourself any favors.

What if we have sex tomorrow as well what is the best route.

No change... Man so many dudes fvck this up. Just because a women sleeps with you doesn't mean jack sh!t anymore. She doesn't like you better, and she isn't lining you up for a relationship... she was just horny and you were there. THAT IS IT. In my experience older women (35 and over) seem to appreciate a causal phone call and a little small talk the next day... no longer than a couple of minutes, but trust your gut, and this is important... IF YOU DON'T WANT TO CALL, DON'T DO IT.

If you cal her the next day... no mention of sex or a next date, period. Just small talk, it could be about something you two talked about before or a question. This lets her know you think of her as more than just a lay.... and improves your chances it will happen again.

 

[Stugots26]

I do not confirm the day of. I confirm when I make the date. If she asks me to confirm the day of, I do the takeaway and tell her we can schedule a date in advance when she knows her schedule.

Act as if you're sure she's going to show, because that's how it always works out for you. Why would a man such as you think that she wouldn't?

 

[Alvafe]

depends on what you are doing, if a girl lives close or is on the way, I go get her at her home, so 1 hour or 30 min before the time, I just tell her to send me a msg when she is done, so no answers I do something else, in mean time i'm also doing something else.

if I get to meet her in another place, when its the time and I arrive and don't see her I send a msg asking where are you? if not answers or any excuse in 10-15 min I just tell her, well I had something to happen so I will not make it, sorry. and do something else.

 

[Stugots26]

You are telegraphing insecurity by asking if you're still on just before the date.

If she flakes you have your answer with respect to her interest level. Similarly, if she remembers and shows up on her own, or better yet gets in touch with you to make sure the date is still on, she's investing and showing interest in you. But I am 100% opposed to contacting her before the date. She's a grown woman and should be able to conduct herself as such and show respect for your time by showing up if she values you.

 

[GeniuzKhrist]

I don't personally abide by any rules about calling or texting before or after the date. I just don't get pulled in to long ass convo's for a good three weeks, unless I'm on a date with the woman. If she has high interest then none of these so called rules rarely apply. But you should be using the phone for just setting up dates 90% of the time in the beginning.

 

[GeniuzKhrist]

I like to confirm on the day of. A personal friend of mine will sometimes text or call a girl to say he's changing the orginal destination because of xyz and it works because it confirms and IMO adds to the mystery of yourself.

 

[Yewki]

The topic of confirming the date beforehand has been oft-debated on SS.

I personally almost always confirm ahead. In my mind this is direct, strong communication. I absolutely refuse to waste my time and money on some chick whom I barely know. Just makes sense to me.

Ditto. If neither you nor her has confirmed, there's a decent chance she won't be there. So if you just go anyways and hope she's there, what does that say about how valuable your time is? I realize a lot of guys do this to appear "aloof" but in my opinion it just shows you're dysfunctional and immature more than anything else. "She hasn't said anything, so I won't say anything either... I'm just gonna go, and if she's not there I'll pretend I wasn't there either." Yeah, ok.

 

[Stugots26]

Ditto. If neither you nor her has confirmed, there's a decent chance she won't be there. So if you just go anyways and hope she's there, what does that say about how valuable your time is? I realize a lot of guys do this to appear "aloof" but in my opinion it just shows you're dysfunctional and immature more than anything else. "She hasn't said anything, so I won't say anything either... I'm just gonna go, and if she's not there I'll pretend I wasn't there either." Yeah, ok.

I confirm when I make the date. And I leave off by saying "If anything comes up let me know, otherwise I'll just plan to meet you there." And I get a response to that.

Very often they'll confirm with me on the day of.

Bottom line: it is not dysfunctional and immature to expect a woman to manage her own calendar. If you're important enough she will set her own reminders to make sure she's there. And you want a woman thinking "damn, he doesn't think he has to confirm, he must never get flaked on."

EDIT: Also, life is difficult enough. Do you really want to get involved with someone in any capacity where you not only have to keep track of your appointments and manage your calendar, but you have to remind her of her social commitments as well? It may seem benign to begin with, but stop making excuses for women. They have power, agency, and accountability, and can take care of themselves, when it matters to them. If you let them off the hook by coddling them before dates, it will only get worse.

 

[Yewki]

If you're important enough she will set her own reminders to make sure she's there.

If your time is important enough you won't leave it to chance. Just my opinion though.

 

[Stugots26]

If your time is important enough you won't leave it to chance. Just my opinion though.

True, but it's a compliance test. You want to find out her interest level independent of your provocation. You may have to risk time immediately to save time later, but how much? Ten minutes if she doesn't show?

If it's set up right, it's not going to involve you driving or commuting far out of your way anyway. It should be local and last about an hour for the first date anyway.

 

[Yewki]

You may have to risk time immediately to save time later, but how much? Ten minutes if she doesn't show?

If it's set up right, it's not going to involve you driving or commuting far out of your way anyway. It should be local and last about an hour for the first date anyway.

If she hasn't confirmed send a simple text about an hour before, "See you at X." If she doesn't respond, I'm not going. It took 5 seconds to send the text, as compared to driving around, waiting, trying to find her, etc.

 

[Stugots26]

We'll have to agree to disagree. I'm not managing a woman's calendar for her.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Wait a few days after date to set up the next one. Three days is good. Do not text her the day after. Do this even if you have sex. You have to come across as busy and that you have options. Ask her over for another drink? To see your etchings?

You set up the next date when she reaches out. If she doesn't text you for several days, you always return to the default formula of calling / texting once per week to ask for the next date. Treat all women the same.

Arbitrarily waiting three days can be too distant, especially if she hits you up first. It comes off as over-gaming.

If Don Juan displayed enough value, the lady will send a follow up text within 24-48 hours saying she had a great time, etc. To which Don Juan uses the opportunity to schedule the next date.

 

[EyeBRollin]

You can confirm a date without sounding needy.

Just don't text "are we still on?!?!"

Send something like "Running a bit late, grab a seat at the bar." or something of that nature. I usually do it an hour or so before leaving. That's her opportunity to flake and save me some money.