On "dating" - a behavioural guide

[johnnyboy101]

On "dating" - a behavioural guide (long but worth it)

This post is to follow up and codify my methods of behaviour while on a "date". Now, before I begin, I don't do dates with women who are not my girlfriend, so from now on, they will be called "meetings". This is an important difference, and it will be explained throughout the course of this entry.

Before you go to any meeting or even any PU attempt, you must first have a strong idea of who you are - forget women, forget the rest of the world. Know in your mind your own identity, as it is that you will be projecting when you meet her. Now, I'm a company director, so I've got the whole money and status thing going on. I dress to be congruent with that - smart jeans, smart top and 3/4 length leather jacket. My hair is well groomed, my goatee beard is well-kept. I'm well-spoken - I have to be to persuade people to spend money with me. Now, money and status work in my favour, but, in truth, it is only 20% of the deal. I'm an unusual looking guy, but people tend to think I'm attractive looking.

Look for what makes you different first. Maybe you're in college, maybe you're just working the 9 to 5. But look for what makes you who you are - this will give you status as it will project a solid state of self-identity. And before you have a chance to get with any woman, you've got to know who you are and what makes you different first. So, you're in college. You're in college, why? You're in college because you need to get the skills to become the best damn (insert job title) here. It's a subject you feel passionately about (if it isn't why the hell are you doing it?), and going to college/uni for these three years will enable you to start living your professional dreams. Fill your thoughts with dreams of who you are and what you want to become, and anchor them in your mind. Give yourself status, give yourself gravitas, separate yourself from the rest of the guys who moan about work, can't get passionate about anything (save their local football team), and who kick their cats when they are frustrated.

Practise your self-talk once you've discovered what makes you different and special. Once you have integrated it into your being, you have become unique.

Why's all this important? Perhaps it's not, but it helps me. It helps me know why I am different to every other guy out there - what is it that makes me unique? Once you know what it is, you know yourself better and you afford yourself status. And status is all part of the deal with women.

If you have status, you have respect for yourself and you don't need the approval of others. Once you have justified your own existence to the world and you believe it, you don't need validation from anyone else that you are a worthwhile human being.

Can't find anything about yourself which is special? Well, go and find a reason, arsehole, or go out and get some self-esteem.

Right, that's the fundamentals out of the way, as for my method of getting together at a pre-arranged time and place with a woman does not require confidence to be successful, although I'd be lying if I said I was not confident. Confidence does help, but it's not essential. You can use my "method" whatever state of mind you are in, as it does not require the external validation or approval of the woman you are taking out.

I call it my method, but it's not really. It's the bringing together of a few different techniques (mainly from mASF and DYD) which I have taken on board because it fits with my personality. This "method" has worked on first meetings where there has been drink involved and where there was no drink - you don't have to get a woman drunk to use this method, although I'd be lying if I said it did not speed up the process somewhat.

Are we ready? Then we shall begin.....

 

[johnnyboy101]

The technique anchors itself heavily in a method of seduction called Gunwitch. You can read all about it by clicking here. Now, Gunwitch was not primarily designed for this situation. It is designed for situations with single females you have isolated. More on the relevance of this a bit later on.

What we are talking about here is a "date", or rather this is the term society gives a pre-arranged meeting between a man and a woman between whom the beginnings of a sexual/emotional interest have been established. Society says that the "date" is the first chance that the man and the woman have to spend quality, uninterrupted time with each other, hence it is a good platform for deciding whether there is anything there.

Why is it referred to here as a "meeting" then? All language is loaded with emotive and suggestive connotations. A date conjures up a man, standing outside a posh restaurant, rose in hand, waiting to escort the lady to her table. The man's job on a date is to show, in the space of a few hours, that he is a fun, nice, kind, gentle man. He'll have the woman laughing, he'll engage the woman in deep and interesting conversation, he'll buy the drinks all night, he'll pay for the meal, he'll walk her down the riverside, and so on and so forth. He will be the perfect host for the night, to show the woman just exactly why she should choose him over every other guy in the world.

Now, look carefully at the last paragraph. From a linguistic point of view, what's interesting about it? Go on, look harder. The man is the subject of each sentence, the woman is the object. The man gives, the woman receives. All the responsibility on how well the "date" goes belongs to the man. Essentially, the date, in the traditional sense of the word, is a prolonged one-off sales pitch for the man to impress the woman. It completely absolves any responsibility from the woman to be fun, witty, responsible, etc for the "date" - she is the passive recipient of the man's generosity and company. Why? Because society deems that on a date, it is the man's job to impress the woman.

Can you see just how much responsibility that places on you? Don't you think that it's grossly unfair that, purely because you have a penis and she doesn't, that you've got to make all the running that night. Can't you also see how it is deeply manipulative that the dating frame forces men to buy women all these things with the promise of no return.

Well, by using johnnyboy101's behavioural guide to "dating" (Marque One at mASF), you can avoid all this and have a fantastic time. We'll get to the actual stuff that you do a little bit later, but now we have established the importance of self-identity at a meeting with a new woman, we must now address the issue of your frame of mind.

The frame of mind I suggest you approach a meeting with serves a number of purposes. The main one is just to get you to relax.

There are over 3 billion women in the world, and you've got one to agree to go out with you tonight. Big deal! There are billions left over, so if this one does not work out, then there'll be plenty of others worthy of your spending time with them.

Why has she agreed to go out with you? Well, obviously you've done something right so far. Well done - the truth is that you've probably got a lot further already with this woman than most guys have. She'll turn down most offers flat, as she is plain not interested in them. But there's something about you that she thinks might just be a little bit special - she's willing to give up a few hours of her time to see if her gut instinct is right.

So, will you get over this idea that you have to impress her? You already have done it! If you take on the traditional dating frame, your three hour mission is to make her think you are some sensitive, funny God of a man. Tell you what, if I had three hours to prove I was a God, I don't think I would do very well with it.

By getting her to come out with you, you're already probably fifty percent or more of the way there. All you have to do that night is to not **** it up. How do you **** it up? By pretending to be someone you're not to someone you barely know.

By now, waves of relaxing energy should be rippling throughout your body as you've probably never realised this before. A woman will not agree to go on a "date" with you if she doesn't like you. She'll have plenty of opportunities to cancel, and she hasn't.

Ask yourself this question - what's stopping her jumping into your sack right now, right now this second? She doesn't have enough information about you, or certainly a strongly formed impression of you. What she thinks of you so far is good though, and it doesn't need that much building on.

You have a mystery about you, boy, and the way to make yourself really attractive to her is not the way you think. It's all to do with your frame of mind and your subsequent actions.

 

[johnnyboy101]

What is your mystery? It's that bit of you she doesn't know about yet - it intrigues her. She talks about it with her girlfriends, hell she's probably even told her mum about you.

Here's where the first mistake begins for most men. They will try to fill the mystery with what they think she wants to find. I'll repeat that because it is absolutely vital to understanding where you have been ****ing up in the past.

Most men try to fill the mystery in the woman's mind with what they think the woman wants to see.

This is completely the wrong approach. First of all, how do you know what she's looking for? How do you know that what you think she's looking for is completely boring and unattractive to her?

The answer is you don't. So let's drop the idea for a second that you are some sort of psychic with the ability to read a woman's mind, because you're not. We all know here that women have enough trouble actually understanding their own wants and desires, so what makes you think you can fathom out what they have not in the 16-40 years she has been alive?

Once you allow yourself to think about your own feelings, wants and desires on a meeting with a woman, your whole persona becomes a lot more relaxed as you realise you only have yourself to think about, not someone else.

So, you be yourself for the evening. This is not normal AFC advice crap, because you are going to be yourself, with a few added extras for your own amusement.

The normal frame of dating requires you to supplicate to a woman in so many different ways, it is unbelievable. You are expected to do the following all evening

a) be her extra special credit card company (the one that never asks for its money back) - you pay for most items, particularly the expensive ones.
b) be her confessional - yes, as she goes on endlessly about some inane event at work, you're meant to give a toss and listen.
c) be her event planner - your mission is to show her a good time in a town/city she already knows. And your time comes free of charge!
d) be the clown - at all costs, you have to make her laugh
e) be her counsellor - you've got to listen to all of her issues, whilst respecting her personal space if the AFC Doc Love is to be believed.

I could go on, but I think you get my point. You have to be all things to all women on a "date" - the bases are loaded and the odds are already staked against you, if you are happy to put up with such a **** hand of cards.

So, that evening you take her out, you promise yourself that you will have a good time that evening. You won't put up with any of her emotional **** - if she brings it up, let her for two or three minutes and shut up about it. Let her know you are not interested (the best way to do this is shown in the next bit regarding techniques).

You are going out to meet a woman tonight who you may find of interest. That's all. Your future happiness does not depend on it - after you find out more about her, you may only be interested in her sexually. Despite the crap that Master Of The Universe is coming out with, you are the PRIZE.

You are the PRIZE because you know what you find acceptable and enjoyable in a woman, and no woman who does not match those expectations will enter your relationship radar. However, she has to PROVE to you first and fast that she has the qualities you are looking for.

So - you are not going to buy this woman dinner, you are not going to listen to her ****, you are going out to enjoy yourself. And, fortunately, the way that you enjoy yourself on this meeting will just have the lucky side-effect of making her think you're great and unlike any other guy she has met before.

In truth, just going with that attitude will make you different to 95% of men she has gone out with, but we'll know we've done a good job when she puts you in the top 1% of men she has ever met.

Following is the way that works for me time and time again. It may not work for you, I hope it does, but it is a combination of techniques I have learned since joining mASF.

Let this be a cautionary tale, because you'll see right at the end why I decided to arm myself with these skills. And I really hope this never happens to you.

 

[johnnyboy101]

As mentioned earlier, the foundation for this method is the Gunwitch method (GWM) (link). To sum it up, GWM is a method of getting women into bed as quickly as possible using a mixture of sexual state and persistance. The truth is that GWM works so well, especially in pre-arranged meetings, that persistance is often not necessary.

Now, regardless of whether your aim is to get the woman into bed that night or not, GWM is a vital weapon in your armoury. Why's that? Well, getting back to the traditional dating frame, society demands that the man be the gentleman for the evening. For gentleman in this situation, read sexless supplicant.

Sexless supplicants are nice guys. Nice guys are insecure arseholes, as we all know. Nice guys try to become the therapist, the host etc in order to gain a woman's "affections", and this normally involves an expensive night out with the woman, as the gentleman pays for everything.

How devious is that? For all the trolls that come here and on other discussion forums saying that the methods we employ are manipulative, how manipulative is it to pay for a woman to come out with you? Very. It creates imbalance straight away - someone has bought something for someone else, thereby creating the expectation of a return.

What a sad way to go. What is a woman getting in return for spending the evening with you? She's getting your company - you are worth something, your time is valuable. That's far more than any dinner.

My preferred method of meeting is pub-meal-pub. It's just a personal preference - I kind of think that the meal thing is congruent with my projection of money and status - it fits with the impression I have of myself and that which I wish to project to the world. Plus, it gives you a guaranteed three hours of the woman's time, more than enough for this "method" to work its magic. Do whatever suits you best, but that works for me.

As soon as you see her, raise your eyebrows slightly, smile slightly and immediately touch her elbow. Kino is vital on any date anyway (regardless of what Doc Love says), and it forms a vital part of the GWM anyway. Touching straight away is essential anyway - it establishes you in her mind as a tactile person. Besides which, if you never touched her for two hours and then fancied doing it, it would be completely out of what she perceives as your character and she will probably view it as you groping her to some extent. So touch straight away, and always go for the elbow.

After the greeting pleasentries are over, tell her that you are getting the first one in. Not only do you take the lead, but it establishes in her mind that you are not paying for her company that evening with drinks and flowers.

Make sure she accompanies you to the bar and helps you carry the drinks back. You choose the chairs. Angle them so that your knees will occasionally brush against each other. Give as many opportunities as early on as possible for you to touch each other, both accidentally and on purpose. As she will occasionally brush against you when she's moving, she will begin to perceive it as her touching you. This begins to establish reciprocity in her mind.

Try to space your touches no less than two minutes apart and no more than 5 in the first half hour when you are with her. Establish that touch is going to feature a lot tonight.

Don't overdo it, but make sure you do it. Often, she may appear uncomfortable with you touching her in the first ten-fifteen minutes. Don't let that frighten you. Why?

When you meet up with someone for the first time, expect silences. Don't try to fill the silence with meaningless crap. Just accept that they will occur, and get over yourself. She has just as much responsibility to bring up topics of conversation as you have. If she wanted to hear someone else speak all night, she would have gone to a poetry recital.

When you do speak with her, look at her in the eyes for longer than you should and make a point of it. When she speaks with you, look at her in the eyes ALL the time her lips are moving (breaking off occasionally if she is going on for a long time). When you speak with her, use the deep bedroom tonality which GWM espouses. Slow your speech down, make your voice deep.

Within the first fifteen or so minutes, by touching her, by looking at her in the eyes (and making sure she is first to break eye contact in most situations) and by using a deep, slow voice, you establish your sexual identity. You establish that you are a man who can perform well at sex.

It is vital you establish your sexual identity first and not your personality. Besides which, at this point, if she likes you and she is beginning to have sexual thoughts about you, she'll do most of the talking to try to impress you that evening.

Once you've established your sexual identity, you have simply to keep it up.

The thing to do now is to send mixed messages to her. If, in her mind, she has established that you are a worthwhile sex partner to start off with, she'll spend the next few hours taking your attention for granted. You've already come a lot further than most guys in that she is thinking about having sex with you within 15 minutes of meeting you (and she will actually be imagining it), then you have to throw in the elements of drama and acceptable unpredictability.

Women love drama, and you can provide it for her in spades.

When she is speaking, lean forward to listen to her. If she says something which displeases or upsets you or simply does not interest you, lean back. Only lean forward again when she has said two things to impress you. She will cotton on pretty quickly to what is happening (although not say anthing about it), and the thoughts will start to race through her mind like "Is he going off me? I can't believe that. How dare he not fancy me" and she'll try to impress you. This is called a takeaway, and is discussed at length in Double Your Dating.

Another good takeaway is holding her hand, then removing it for no reason. You'll send her all these different messages, and while she'll be a bit puzzled and frustrated by it, her body will be experiencing wierd sensations because of all the drama you are giving her.

At the same time, throw in a few compliments, for example after you have taken your hand away. Say "I'm really enjoying your company this evening", "You have a brilliant sense of humour" and so on. Also, throw in a few light-hearted criticisms, such as "You never warned me you were weird" (said in a half-joking way).

You'll have a lot of fun doing this, and she'll be loving it too. The effect these methods have on a woman are profound, and can be caused in under an hour! On most "dates" at this point, the "gentleman" will be talking about how his boss is such an arsehole and how he hates working for him. She'll be sitting there politely wondering if this guy has any interesting features, while the woman you are taking out will be experiencing all types of drama and emotion.

Keep this up. It'll serve you well.

Whenever you are at a bar or a restaurant, make sure that it is you who gives the order to the waitor. Speak confidently and congruently to the waitor - it's amazing what little things like this communicate to a woman, for example "He is in charge", "He knows what he wants", "He'll look after me", etc.

As the night progresses, use leading language on her. Talk about past girlfriends and what you found special in them, and what you're hoping to find in a new girlfriends. Set benchmarks for her, and ask what hers are. Honestly, this stuff is amazing. When you begin to lead the language by introducing sexual/romantic themes, make sure you increase the eye contact and the kino again.

Once you have got the signals to kiss her, wait 10-15 minutes before doing so. At this point, in her mind, you'll be seen as an experienced man, and she'll be thinking "he knows I want a kiss. Does he not fancy me?" Keep the drama up, and when you go in slightly later than you should, the kiss you get back will be full of passion.

If possible, end the evening at a club which allows sexy dancing. Not the local meatmarket, try to find a salsa club. Give her as much opportunity to touch you as possible. At this point, you can decide whether you want to take her to bed and/or see her again. This method works very well for me, and has resulted before in my being asked back to their place.

So, guys, have fun with her. You'll really get a kick from watching how she reacts to you, and she'll love the fact you are acting this way. You and she will have such a memorable few hours together, and it'll be up to you what you want to do with her next.

Read that, it'll be up to you. For the gentleman on the "date", the decision on the next course of action will be hers.

I hope you try this method when out on a pre-arranged meeting with a woman, and I hope it works for you. Remember that to get a place in a woman's heart, you have to establish sexual identity first, personality second.

I had always done pretty well with women before finding mASF. I'd had a lot of fun and been with some fantastic women in my time (as well as some not so fantastic). At Xmas, I met a woman who totally floated my boat, and instead of behaving in the way I normally did, I tried to behave as the gentleman. I couldn't see her for dust after that. I didn't know what I did wrong, so I found mASF and learned the skills. I'd love to have got with this woman - I got a severe bout of one-itis over her. I joined mASF to make sure next time someone like her came along, I could handle it.

I'm currently still an rAFC and am working on a method of bar PU, then street PU. It'll be another 6-12 months before I have it cracked, but I'll be sure to let you know when I have.

Hope that helps, guys, and have fun.

---LE FIN----

 

[Pooki]

Johnyboy,

Nobody will read your nonsense. It is utter garbage. Please don't post here again.

 

[Evil-Rom]

Originally posted by Pooki
Johnyboy,

Nobody will read your nonsense. It is utter garbage. Please don't post here again.

stfu Pooki you troll.

Good Post.

 

[Shadow Dancer]

Pookeboo is a cack.

Great post, Johnny, with a lot of helpful information. : )

 

[drZaius09]

Your post is an inspiration. I especially enjoyed your views of the traditional "gentleman" in dating. This board has been espousing too much of that Doc Love AFC bullsh1t for too long. This post is a breath of fresh air for those of us who are tired of being cast into the role of a woman's personal tour guide and jester.