On being friends with chicks

[mahon83050]

I don't know how you guys feel on this topic, but I know how I do. I have this all or none way of thinking:

For example, if a SINGLE girl I am interested in rejects my advances because I am too nice, not cute enough or whatver, I take it personally. Trying to be her friend or her just wanting you to be her friend is a "slap" in the face IMO.

Why be friends with a girl who romantically sees you as a chump. Besides, do want to be hanging out with her when she is complaining to you about how bad some guy is treating her or how hot or confident some guy she digs is....HELL NO!!

I only point I see in befriending a chick is in these situations:

1.) You are not attracted to her
2.) She is already taken
3.) You are already taken
4.) You can use her to maybe hit it off with her cute friends.

Other than that, I think it is useless:

This chick whom I work with who seems like she rejected my advances....I DO NOT want to be her friend because it is a slap in the face and I see no point. As a matter of fact, I may go delete her name from my cell right now. How do you guys feel on this matter.

 

[Pimp-sicle]

Guys and girls can only be "just friends" when one person is not attracted to the other. I have two girls who are my really close friends. They both want/wanted me at one point within the past several months and I've hooked up with both of them but it doesn't mean anything to me. Purely for fun and that's it. We both have that understanding so its cool. They both know I pull a good amount of @ss (usually...LOL) and they love hearing good advice on how to get a guy from a male perspective.


Now if you tried to hook up or date a girl and she rejected you, then there's absolutely no point in being friends with her unless you want to put yourself through emotional agony for no reason. Its stupid. Friends are people who care about you and your feelings. When a girl puts you in the LJBF zone, its her selfish ego saying, "I dont' like you, so stay away from me and don't you DARE try to bust a move."



PIMP

 

[NRM]

If you rejected a girl for just a date, then you probably want nothing to do with her. I mean, it was just a date, no form of commitment whatsoever. Even worse if you get rejected for the number.

If a girl does not respond positively to the smallest advances, she might even find you repulsive. If you ask for her number and you get a "No." It's like you're not even good enough for her number, don't waste your time becoming friends with her.

If she rejects your advances, quit talking to her, she's not worth your time. Especially if they are small advances with kino, numbers, or even a date. Something about you turns her off that much.

 

[Iguana]

Originally posted by mahon83050
I only point I see in befriending a chick is in these situations:

1.) You are not attracted to her
2.) She is already taken
3.) You are already taken
4.) You can use her to maybe hit it off with her cute friends.

5) She is a happy person
6) She is very smart
7) She is not boring, she is very fun to be with


Iguana
Peace & Metal

 

[neobrood]

as a beginning DJ, I think that its still cool to be friends with chicks...

At least you can use em to open more doors.

Thats my mentality right now. Every guy or girl I meet is A POTENTIAL LEAD to that woman I'm really gonna like alot...

 

[So pimp its scary]

The only time that women and men can be 'just friends' is if NEITHER of them is sexually attracted to the other.

Friends don't want to **** friends, simple as that, and in most all situations the sex will eventually get in the way of the friendship.

Sometimes people will say, "I'm just friends with this one girl, and it's great." To these people I ask, "Would you sleep with this 'friend' if the opportunity arose? If not, would your friend sleep with you given the chance?"

If the answer is yes to either question, then you aren't really friends because one or the other secretly wants more out of the relationship.

 

[M. Powered]

I have a few female friends that I'm not attracted to, but I still C+F, EC and neg hit them on a regular basis though as practice and to still be somewhat attractive to them even if they are not to me. The practice is good, and to be honest I do value the friendships as well. I just make sure I'm still a man when I'm with them.

One friend I have however I did find attractive once. I made a few plays for her and got dusted off (so it seemed), so I NEXTed her and to my surprise, she has made all the approaches to hang out so far, and makes all the phone calls to sa "hi". I'm pretty sure this is a friendship thing for her, but it's funny how not giving a **** can make even a friend of the opposite sex change their tune a little.

 

[becker]

It's good to see that these threads are still being posted. It's like a neverending unresolvable discussion.

My take on this is that, based on our past discussions, I'm going to try to sum it up as best I can.

1. The "LJBF" zone is not the absolute end of the relationship. It all depends on the circumstances.

A girl I went on a date with this week did not refuse any of my kino, had great eye contact, and we kissed. However, towards the end of the date, she basically retreated into a shell.

She has issues, and she's made that clear to me. She's afraid, probably of getting hurt. The reasoning here is that the only way to avoid getting hurt is to never get into a relationship in the first place. Hardly the most practical way of thinking, but thinking nevertheless. If this is the case, the game sort of becomes a cat and mouse thing. She sticks her head out every once in a while, then retreats. Crawls out again, then retreats. After the comfort level has been established, and provided you've even survived the initial retreat, things may start getting better. This takes a lot of effort and if you even deal with this, better be a tough man and the prize better be worth it I guess.

2. If the relationship goes from more intimate to less intimate (as in the sudden "LJBF" thing), it could mean that (1) she lost interest, or (2) see the what I wrote above.

3. If a girl tells you all her problems with other men, you're basically out of luck. She sees you on the same level as her female friends.

Ok, that's all I can think of for now, it's been a while since I've dealt with the LJBF subject. I'll post more when I can think of it.

 

[Juan_Man]

Ah, the famous "friends" debate. Here is my take:

There is no point in being friends with a girl that you are attracted to. If you are single, it will only lead to further sexual frustation. Plus, if you remain friends with her, only she will benefit. She taps all of the attention out of you're system (which you could be putting to better use) and you don't get jack.

A lot of desperate guys cling to these girls, hoping that it will provide an avenue to get to know her friends. This is utter false hope. You see, your new "friend" already doesn't respect you by refusing to go out with you. Why would she set her friends up with someone she doesn't respect? She may tell her friends what a "great guy" you are, but she will never say anything of substance that would get her friends interested.

Once you get rejected, I say move on. Don't waste your time. Invest it in other possible avenues of success.

 

[bonjove]

Originally posted by Juan_Man
She taps all of the attention out of you're system (which you could be putting to better use) and you don't get jack

You, my friend, have posted all anyone ever needs to know about being friends with a girl. She sees you as less of a man than you should see you and uses you to inflate her selfish self-absorbed ego and the reward just goes off to some other guy. Even worse when she is gripping to you about the horrible things that go on with her and other guys.

It's torture, get some self-respect and turn the girls that try to LJBF you into aquaintances and MAKE THEM WORK FOR YOUR ATTENTION. That way you are the one that is in control of the relationship. Whoever cares least about a relationship is in control of the relationship, when she grippes and complaines about you wanting to be her aquaintance get a big smile on your face cause you have the edge against her.

 

[Vini Vidi Vici]

I just replied to a post where a guy was going to be a father and the only whing he could think about was why the girl wouldn`t have sex with him. WTF???

I think you can be really good friends with girls if you stop thinking with your dikk for a couple of seconds. Sex is important, but it`s not everything. There are some other important things in life too, like friendship. I`m not saying that you pursue this girl that rejected you, but next time you see her just act friendly. But if you think you`re getting infatuated just get tha hell out of there because it ain`t worth it.

Remember:

A$$ES COME AND GO, BUT FRIENDS ARE FOREVER.

 

[bonjove]

Originally posted by Vini Vidi Vici
I just replied to a post where a guy was going to be a father and the only whing he could think about was why the girl wouldn`t have sex with him. WTF???

I think you can be really good friends with girls if you stop thinking with your dikk for a couple of seconds. Sex is important, but it`s not everything. There are some other important things in life too, like friendship. I`m not saying that you pursue this girl that rejected you, but next time you see her just act friendly. But if you think you`re getting infatuated just get tha hell out of there because it ain`t worth it.

Remember:

A$$ES COME AND GO, BUT FRIENDS ARE FOREVER.

Husbands and wives are friends, which is why women marry nice guys, so they have someone they can have a relationship with, meaning someone that will fulfill all of her womanly needs for affection. But a relationship does not necessarily equal sex and if anything it begins to demonstrate a lack of sex in the long run. Even if a guy is a perfect 10 she can start to reject his advances on her and this has been demonstarted time and time again. Having a relationship just does not always equal getting laid, face that or don't get married, ever.

On the other hand, sex is a given for women, as all they have to do is walk around and some bloak will approach for that very reason.

Don't be nice about it if you catch your wife sleeping around. divorce her butt and kick her out of the house and/or leave her for good. Don't tolerate that disrespect ever.

I don't necessarily agree with the friends forever bit, but I don't think someone should be bitter in life either. Enjoy life for what it is worth to you and don't be too serious.

 

[Kineti[C]harm]

What female friends can do...


Be VERY GOOD FRIENDS. My two best female friends are prior lays/FBs and I've shared more with them than anyone else probably and we talk openly ABOUT ANYTHING, they tell me everything. It's VERY GREAT.

My female friends, most of them are attractive and have loads of attractive friends so I get major socialproof and have them as pivots as clubs etc + i hook up with their friends.

You get a female POV on stuff, which can be VERY good if it's an 100% unbiased and HONEST opinion without sugarcoating and stupid social encoding.

 

[strong like bull]

so the general conclusion is,

if youre going to have a female friend,

your best bet is to lay her casually/FB-style before becoming friends.

or, at the least, make sure she has high sexual interest in you beforehand. she wont pivot for you if, in her mind, you are some LJBF'd dork. the more she feels your... sexual ability, the more it will rub off towards her friends.

for, now they will share her lust for you.

 

[WestCoaster]

Only works if ...

... one of the two is not sexually interested in the other (as noted earlier). Take it from someone who has gone down the friends path too often and hoped it would turn into something more: it rarely happens. Something unique and magical has to happen if the friends deal is to transform into a lovers situation. (That's a fairy tale conjured up by women: "I married my best friend." B.S., you married a guy who gave you made you moan.)

This topic was bantered on the mature man site (started by me) basically saying the LJBF is a tired, worn out line that needs to be retired by women. But most women (at least in the U.S.) aren't creative enough to think of anything else. If they want to be friends they have to act like it and you know they're not gonna be your friend after they say LJBF.

I've now got to breaking points where I won't let it go down the friends path unless I want it to, and if it does, I sure as h-ll better be dating some others and not just hanging out with my "friend."

I finally spilled the beans to a gal recently that I had more of an attraction to her than just a chum. She LBJFed me but I got it off my chest and moved on. Now she's curious as h-ll and her e-mails have taken on a different tone ... I'm just DJing her.

Don't go down the friendship path unless you really need a friend and not a lover.

 

[becker]

Re: A friend could just be a careful woman

Originally posted by swampwiz
It seems to me that some women are bit cautious in who date. They want to be sure that someone that they fall for will be nice man. My last g/f was like this.

Ok, this is a good post, and I'm interested in what you went through, swampwiz.

How did you approach this situation? I have a girl now that's pushing me away because of this very thing. It's to the point where she's not even talking to me, when just before this, she was all about talking. I have no idea what's up.

Any input would be very interesting. Thanks.

 

[becker]

Re: A friend could just be a careful woman

Originally posted by swampwiz
It seems to me that some women are bit cautious in who date. They want to be sure that someone that they fall for will be nice man. My last g/f was like this.

Ok, this is a good post, and I'm interested in what you went through, swampwiz.

How did you approach this situation? How did you progress from one stage of the relationship to the other and how long did it take? Do you take it slow or fast? I have a girl now that's pushing me away because of this very thing. It's to the point where she's not even talking to me, when just before this, she was all about talking. I have no idea what's up.

Any input would be very interesting. Thanks.

 

[iqqi]

Originally posted by mahon83050

I only point I see in befriending a chick is in these situations:

1.) You are not attracted to her
2.) She is already taken
3.) You are already taken
4.) You can use her to maybe hit it off with her cute friends.

hmmm. interesting. the only reason i see in befriending anyone is if i like them as a person. if they are funny, smart, intelligent, if they enrich my life.

maybe not all attractive chics are good for just sex/LTR/ONS or the such. you could really be missing out on the best friend of your life.

the reason for befriending i mentioned above is the only reason you should make a friend:

Originally posted by mahon83050
Other than that, I think it is useless:

i don't know, maybe i was just raised with different values.

 

[jdr120]

this is some good reading.....

I have a few opinions on this subject..

- To be friends with a woman, YOU have to set her in YOUR friends category. Otherwise you may get the ONEITIS.. If you're trying to be friends with her in hopes that you will one day "magically" win her heart, you are living with false hopes... You have to be prepared to hear her mention the name of a new guy she is seeing, and not get all bent out of shape. Because face it, she's not going to want to be friends with someone who keeps trying to *impress* her or trying to win her over..


- There are different types of girls that become friends... The Attention Wh*&es, who just tell you about all the new guys they are dating, and who don't deserve to be your friend. And there are the genuine nice girls, who don't rub the name of their new guy in your face!


You gotta want to be friends with them...

 

[backbreaker]

I have been in the LJBF zone a couple of times.

This is my take.

I don't take it personal at all, because it, more times than not, means there is something wrong with MY game, not HER.

Think about it.

When you first meet her, she had to be somewhat interested, even the slightest bit, to give you her phone number. I don't know a girl that would give their number out to any quy they wern't interested in.


Sometime between her giving you her phone number, and between the time she tells you LJBF, you did something, small or large, to make her see you as a friend and not as potentional lover.

So why get mad at the girl if it's your fault more than likely?

Fix it and try again.

I was in LJBF for 3 years with this one chick, and to be honest I really don't know what happened, I just got out of it. It was probably because I started seeing other women which ment less time for her. Now she calls me everyday and she even threw a small fit when she found out I had company spending the night at my house 5 days ago, even though she has a Bf.

But with that said, more times than not, it honestly isn't worth it. It really isn't. Remember dating is a pure n umbers game. The more women you have, the less liekly you are to get LJBFed because your game is vastly improved. The more women you have, the less likely you are to give a rats ass if you are LJBF'ed.