On assembling a disreputable past...

Scaramouche

Master Don Juan
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Man does not live by bread alone,very true,and so I have the inevitable drudge of shopping to keep body and soul together...
Sadly in my neck of the Woods we only have a McScrooge Supermarket,others have tried to establish themselves as competition,but thanks to political patronage,their monopoly together with usurious prices is maintained ....contemplating the treasures of the Deli counter last week,I witnessed a minor accident,some chick had got her ring caught in the gizmo that cuts off a piece of clear plastic wrap,she cut her finger....her Coworker ran over,"Oh you poor thing Mila,and on your birthday too"...I looked at our victim,quite plain in the face,but a body to die for...rather short,less than five foot,but overall very nice...
Thinking quickly,I decided that she deserved a Birthday present,ducking over to the cut flowers section,I selected a nice bunch of Tiger Lilies,next a nice gift card,over to the card department,sure a bit expensive but McScrooge can afford it....No Pen! over to the Ball point section,now to find a quiet spot to write a heart felt message..."I wish I were a Lily and Mila chose me for her bower,I'd lie upon her snow white breast,and die a wintry flower",then my Name and cell phone No...Replace the Pen....Scarra is no common thief I'll have you know!...so we remove the price tags and over to the deli counter to proudly present our Birthday wishes and Bouquet to the lovely Mila...
next day about Lunch time I got a Text..Dear Scarra,could you join me at my place for coffee tomorrow round lunchtime....never one to be backward in coming forward I straightaway sent my acceptance to the assignation...
So to fast forward,a pleasant chat,much fluttering of eyelids a little Kino,and before you know it,it's time to go....she was very iffy about my leaving...as Shakespeare said,"So sweetly she bade me adieu,methought that she asked me to stay"...as I walked in front of her,we went down one step,I turned a one eighty,grasped her waist with both hands,our faces being at the same level,I kissed her just to the side of her lips,and hugged her,she melted,so I moved my lips to make a full on contact and after a minute of positive feed back,whipped my arms under her legs,and carried her back to her Bedroom...A very pleasant interface followed.
So you say,another Plate?sadly No,she was a separated woman with an Italian Husband,from the Marriage Photos on the Mantel Piece a big ugly brute...Guys,sweet as she is,it aint worth the hassle.
 

Boilermaker

Master Don Juan
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great story and narration Scara... you are an inspiration, ..

it's a good example to show that there's always a great deal of uncertainty and creativity involved in "human" interactions ..

a beautiful case that worked out nicely .. I will remember this and put it into my mental library :)
 

zekko

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A couple things get my attention from this post:

1) Scara wins this girl over by giving her flowers! And she's so impressed by this that she calls HIM. I find this funny since it's such a major SoSuave no no.

2) Does he just steal the flowers? Or did he pay for them but left that bit out?
 

Julius_Seizeher

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That is awesome. And it was not paying for the flowers that made it work; paying would have killed the spontaneity, plus who wants to spend money on some random chick.

"Did that guy pay for the flowers?"
"Umm, no."

HAMSTER SPIN

Scaramouche you are a gentleman and a scholar.
 

omkara

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I hope I can still get chicks when I am 67. I guess it's like, they don't go out of their way or give IOIs so you have to make more of an effort right? Then again I have to do all the work as it is now so not much different than what I am doing now.
 
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