Secondtimeround
Don Juan
- Joined
- Apr 9, 2013
- Messages
- 36
- Reaction score
- 1
First off, this is not a spinning plates, sex etc thread but something I'd like some insight into if possible. Cheers guys.
Female best friend of which we have shared and been through a lot together. Yet last couple years all the effort has been on my part (and even back in the early days now that I think about it) to initiate or put any effort in. Heck, every catch up etc I have planned has been turned down for one reason or another: good or bad. I know lately her study load has been hard and she has a family member in hospital on his last breath. Those two reasons for bailing have been used throughout the last year or more. Yet there is no hint of strain or sadness in any replies. Obviously, she sounds fine besides winging a lot. Heck it makes the fact I've never gotten a message or email to say hi, hows things all that more disappointing.
So last night was it, I had it after you can gues what. I told her, I understood she has things and I am not upset but I wasn't going to try anymore so have a good one and good bye.
Then came the barrage of missed calls and messages. More initiated and sent in that last 12 hours than the whole 4 years I've known her. Obviously I have not replied and this is not some PUA thing but rather, I've got simply nothing to say. This was compounded by her significant other then messaging me and in a sense berating me on all this because again with the reasoning; she was going through a tough time. Well, if I'd had that twang of pity and thought about replying, that then sealed the deal. Good bye to this friendship. As you can see, I don't have much of a view of people who rely on others to fight their battles let alone mopers whom with their world falling apart, won't pick up their own pieces. I have tried helping her in the past (but that is another story).
Honestly I'm a pretty simple person, you put an effort; even if it is 1 message every now and then and I'm the mate who'll jump in front of a car for you. Yet if you don't even try (emphasis TRY), then why should I? Even under extreme circumstances when obviously I am not even worth the effort of taking the phone out and typing a message or finding 15min in a week for a chat or coffee.
It's wierd. I'll admit, throughout my life I have been a doormat of some sorts but I'm starting to see a change in me. The old me would have felt guilty and remorse, yet I feel nothing. Honestly, I just don't care.
So I would like some insights here as am I right? Should I be showing even a twinge of compassion here? I ask here because I know all will provide brutally honest replies compared to others whom are engrossed in all tv shows these days that promote an unrealistic portayal of how people, life, friendships, romance etc should be. I need it as to know why I feel conflicted at the moment; almost like a pull between the chump me struggling against the new me who isn't all talk; showing through his actions what he wants, he will do to get and all in all, a man.
Female best friend of which we have shared and been through a lot together. Yet last couple years all the effort has been on my part (and even back in the early days now that I think about it) to initiate or put any effort in. Heck, every catch up etc I have planned has been turned down for one reason or another: good or bad. I know lately her study load has been hard and she has a family member in hospital on his last breath. Those two reasons for bailing have been used throughout the last year or more. Yet there is no hint of strain or sadness in any replies. Obviously, she sounds fine besides winging a lot. Heck it makes the fact I've never gotten a message or email to say hi, hows things all that more disappointing.
So last night was it, I had it after you can gues what. I told her, I understood she has things and I am not upset but I wasn't going to try anymore so have a good one and good bye.
Then came the barrage of missed calls and messages. More initiated and sent in that last 12 hours than the whole 4 years I've known her. Obviously I have not replied and this is not some PUA thing but rather, I've got simply nothing to say. This was compounded by her significant other then messaging me and in a sense berating me on all this because again with the reasoning; she was going through a tough time. Well, if I'd had that twang of pity and thought about replying, that then sealed the deal. Good bye to this friendship. As you can see, I don't have much of a view of people who rely on others to fight their battles let alone mopers whom with their world falling apart, won't pick up their own pieces. I have tried helping her in the past (but that is another story).
Honestly I'm a pretty simple person, you put an effort; even if it is 1 message every now and then and I'm the mate who'll jump in front of a car for you. Yet if you don't even try (emphasis TRY), then why should I? Even under extreme circumstances when obviously I am not even worth the effort of taking the phone out and typing a message or finding 15min in a week for a chat or coffee.
It's wierd. I'll admit, throughout my life I have been a doormat of some sorts but I'm starting to see a change in me. The old me would have felt guilty and remorse, yet I feel nothing. Honestly, I just don't care.
So I would like some insights here as am I right? Should I be showing even a twinge of compassion here? I ask here because I know all will provide brutally honest replies compared to others whom are engrossed in all tv shows these days that promote an unrealistic portayal of how people, life, friendships, romance etc should be. I need it as to know why I feel conflicted at the moment; almost like a pull between the chump me struggling against the new me who isn't all talk; showing through his actions what he wants, he will do to get and all in all, a man.
