Olympictim's Journal

[OlympicTim]

This is a question for all you experienced DJ's. Right now I have no problem approching girls. I find it exciting to go talk to random girls. However Its always very awkward when talking to them. Do i just need to keep aproching random girls until its not awkward or do I need to try something new when approaching girls

 

[yun-j]

If you keep doing again and again it will become second nature.

 

[OlympicTim]

I've been really busy lately with work and sports.

I've had some time to almost slow down on my whole partying lifestyle (summers over ) and I've been doing a lot of thinking and meditating.

I feel like 99.9 percent of my problems (with women and life in general) are because I either don't go with my gut feeling or I don't push myself.

An example would be this girl was defiantly down to hook up with me at a party (I could of atleast gotten a make out) I knew in my gut I should talk to her get her away from her friends and go for it. However I didn't because I didn't trust gut and pussied out. The oppurtunity is gone now and I will probably never get to hook up with that girl.

I feel like everyone on so suave knows what to do with women however we don't do it for our own personal reasons.

I think my reason is I'm in my comfort zone where I am a likeable guy who doesn't get a lot of *****. Im used to that if I start getting girls then I need to change the way I see myself and get out of my comfort zone.

The answer to all my problems is simple. Pook anwsered it in his book. I need to start trusting my gut and take action

 

[amazingswayze]

The longer you wait, the longer it will take to learn. No one said this would be easy. Take action.

 

[macallik]

Remember to learn from each experience. If not, you will not make progress. After each approach/interaction, ask yourself if there was anything you could've improved upon, or any shortcuts you could've taken to get a better result quicker.

 

[OlympicTim]

Not updating this nearly as much as I should but thats probably a good thing because I'm out living my life and not sitting in front of my computer.

Anyways so I went out last night with a bunch of guys in my new town I know from sports. Its tough as hell to go out with guys you've known for a couple weeks that have known each other for years.

Went to the bar just had a time dancing and stuff only serious attempt at I made at DJing was with this HB 7ish who was dancing with me and my friends. She was slapping my ass and grinding with me and put her hands all over me so natural I went in for the kiss and she denied me so I tried to walk away and she grabbed me and we talked.

HB-How old are you?

Me- 20 (im actually 19 shhhhh )

HB- I'm 23

Me-I heard you like younger guys

HB-Where'd you hear that

Me- I heard it from you (tried to kiss again)

denied again then she said something I couldn't hear and asked me to go somewhere with her. Which I didn't because I didn't think I was going to get anywhere with her. She ended up coming back and dancing with all my buddies and I was going to try to make a move but the club closed and we ended up going out seperate ways.

Next time I go out I will defiantly try to get more girls.

Any advice for the big loud clubs where you can't really talk to girls only dance? I'm pretty bad at getting girls on the dance floor when I can't talk because it's too loud

 

[OlympicTim]

Im gonna try No Fap. Not sure if it will actually work but I've never given jt a shot. Ill give it a go for a month and if I dont see any benefits ill stop.

 

[OlympicTim]

I've been busy since the fourm went down for the couple of days. I can get numbers at the bar consitantley now I just need to work on k-closing and setting up dates etc.

I feel like it's time to look for a girlfriend

 

[OlympicTim]

Boys I literally dunno why but I cant do this. I go out and approach 10-20 girls a night try my best to eye contact, kino, ask about her etc etc. I physically can not pull a girl to save my life. I can go talk to her for 5-10 minutes get a number but its either a fake or i get no response.

Dont take this as a i give up post im just getting frustrated and honestly a little pissed off because I feel like im a good looking attractive man whos got all the qualitys needed to pull girls but for some reason I get rejected again and again.

Anyone ever went through a stage like this and what do you do to get over it.

Im starting to get annoyed because I feel like i should be getting results but im not

 

[OlympicTim]

I don't update this nearly as often as I should. Probably because I'm getting lazy and not doing nearly as much as I should to meet women.

Anyways so I moved away from home to play sports and work for a couple of months and I had no sporting events a couple weekends ago so I went home and had a party so I could see all my friends again.

Anyways so these chicks that I'm kinda friends with (was actually in deep friendzone with one but stopped talking to her) came (all 8-9's) and ended up leaving early. This wouldn't bug me except they didn't have the decency to say goodbye. (Yes I did write a post about this earlier) Anyways so they returned when the other party ended up sucking and I ****ing laid into them. Called all of them b******* and c**** to their face and told them to leave.

I probably over reacted but honestly I've always let hot girls walk all over me just because their hot and I'm done living like that. I'm not going to let myself be disrespected intentionally or unintentionally by anybody anymore I don't care how intimidating of a dude or hot a chick.

As I did this I actually lost my temper and was just going wild but one thing I did notice was I was getting a lot more attention from the other females their. I can't explain it but I feel like the fact that I asserted myself made people respect me more.

I did cross the line however which wasn't cool so I did say sorry to them 3 of them said it was fine and thanked me. one tried to lecture me so I basically told her not to talk to me anymore. This is the first time I have completely cut of a girl who I would say is an easy 9 when she tries and I would love to rail her. But honestly I respect myself much more and I feel like everyone their respects me a bit more too for calling them out on that.

I defiantly could of handled the situation calmer and much more DJ like but for me it's a turning point because I finally decided enough was enough and I'm not longer going to let hot girls get away with stuff just because they are hot.

Now I just have to work on my temper (defiantly needs some work)

Im going to try meditation hopefully that will help

 

[OlympicTim]

Ps I'm going to start the stylelife challenge from neil strausses "Rules of the game"

 

[macallik]

Just read your entire journal.

1. Everyone (myself included) has gone weeks/months without any decent phone numbers. Flakes happen pretty often until you get calibrated so don't take it personal. You are viewing it as if you are banging your head in the wall, but really what you are doing is setting the foundation for a strong understanding of what it takes to become better with women. I would suggest that you go into a LOT more detail in journal when it comes to what you talked about when you met a girl, and then reflect on what you did well as well as what you can work on the next time. If all you do is approach then you will get more confident in approaching but it will take a sh!tload of approaches until you start to notice shortcuts and how to figure out what a woman wants. Part of the great thing about the message board is the community, but if you don't give enough context about what you did in an interaction, readers can't really tell you what to work on, and you can't really look back in pinpoint how/where you get better.
2. When you are in a club, the main goal is to get her away from her friends and your friends, and try and escalate sexually or via conversation. That can be talking to her or upping the kino but figure it out and get 'er done.
3. You need to start using friend-zone to your advantage where possible. I used to delete phone numbers and tell women to leave me alone when they weren't interested in my sexually. That was bitter and petty as hell. Then I started just hanging out with them as a pivot at bars/clubs. By remaining friends, I am invited to 2x as many parties (guys always invite girls and the girls can pass the invites onto you) and a few of the girls have friends that I ended up having sex with as well. Definitely stay away from your oneitis, but make sure not to push your frustrations on women who are you friends (even if you are friends because they put you in the friendzone). If your city has ~5 bars, you really don't want to be burning bridges or blowing up at women and acting crazy. You aren't a chump because you are out there getting better but you definitely conveyed the Anger and Frustration in AFC with your reaction. You don't want women to walk all over you, but sometimes you have to just take a deep breath and evaluate a situation. Kudos to you for apologizing the next day. You are a lot less bitter than the majority of the people on this board.
4. It sounds like the majority of what you do is night-game. One thing that really helped me turn the corner was to constantly realize that I am probably the 5th person to talk to her in that hour, so if I am not doing something that separates me from the rest of the pack, I can't really expect to get anywhere with her. That is something to keep in the back of your mind for future approaches/flakes.

Anyways, don't sweat being off to a bumpy start, everyone starts there I feel like. I posted a set of goals and ways to achieve the goals in my journal the other day. I think you should aim to do something similar so that you can more accurately track your progress and it doesn't feel like you are spinning your wheels.

 

[OlympicTim]

Just read your entire journal.

1. Everyone (myself included) has gone weeks/months without any decent phone numbers. Flakes happen pretty often until you get calibrated so don't take it personal. You are viewing it as if you are banging your head in the wall, but really what you are doing is setting the foundation for a strong understanding of what it takes to become better with women. I would suggest that you go into a LOT more detail in journal when it comes to what you talked about when you met a girl, and then reflect on what you did well as well as what you can work on the next time. If all you do is approach then you will get more confident in approaching but it will take a sh!tload of approaches until you start to notice shortcuts and how to figure out what a woman wants. Part of the great thing about the message board is the community, but if you don't give enough context about what you did in an interaction, readers can't really tell you what to work on, and you can't really look back in pinpoint how/where you get better.
2. When you are in a club, the main goal is to get her away from her friends and your friends, and try and escalate sexually or via conversation. That can be talking to her or upping the kino but figure it out and get 'er done.
3. You need to start using friend-zone to your advantage where possible. I used to delete phone numbers and tell women to leave me alone when they weren't interested in my sexually. That was bitter and petty as hell. Then I started just hanging out with them as a pivot at bars/clubs. By remaining friends, I am invited to 2x as many parties (guys always invite girls and the girls can pass the invites onto you) and a few of the girls have friends that I ended up having sex with as well. Definitely stay away from your oneitis, but make sure not to push your frustrations on women who are you friends (even if you are friends because they put you in the friendzone). If your city has ~5 bars, you really don't want to be burning bridges or blowing up at women and acting crazy. You aren't a chump because you are out there getting better but you definitely conveyed the Anger and Frustration in AFC with your reaction. You don't want women to walk all over you, but sometimes you have to just take a deep breath and evaluate a situation. Kudos to you for apologizing the next day. You are a lot less bitter than the majority of the people on this board.
4. It sounds like the majority of what you do is night-game. One thing that really helped me turn the corner was to constantly realize that I am probably the 5th person to talk to her in that hour, so if I am not doing something that separates me from the rest of the pack, I can't really expect to get anywhere with her. That is something to keep in the back of your mind for future approaches/flakes.

Anyways, don't sweat being off to a bumpy start, everyone starts there I feel like. I posted a set of goals and ways to achieve the goals in my journal the other day. I think you should aim to do something similar so that you can more accurately track your progress and it doesn't feel like you are spinning your wheels.

We need more dudes like this on the fourm.

Yeah problem is all my approaching has been night game at the bar, being 19 its very tough to find girls my age out doing things during the day idk what they all do all day.

Most the time im pretty drunk which is why I dont remember next time i go to the bar im only going to have casual beers (stay sober enough that i feel i could drive)

 

[OlympicTim]

I had an old friend die today from when I was 5 years old.

Hadnt seem him in 14 years and yet it still stings.

Easily could be me tomorrow or any one of you guys reading this. Really need to stop putting stuff off and start living the life I want to live NOW

 

[macallik]

How are things going? Any progress or plans in place?

 

[OlympicTim]

Wow seems like forever.

Anyways so I wrote about my friends death and since then ive been in a weird place.

Ive had a real tough time dealing with it. Ive been drunk almost every night since then which is no way to deal with it.

I think I need professional help.

Anyways im not in much of a place to game right now ive got some issues I need to get figured out right now. I went out with some friends last night did a couple of approaches but my head wasnt in it

 

[macallik]

@OlympicTim
We all go through some sh!t man. Nothing wrong with reaching out and getting some professional help to assist in navigating a tough time. Things will work out if you get all your feelings and frustrations out via a professional or a journal or something. Stay up and looking forward to seeing more posts once you get everything else situated in your life.

 

[OlympicTim]

Went to see a professional tonight actually. Had a good session and i feel better.

Realised that their is nothing I can do now except live my life.

 

[OlympicTim]

Going out to the bar tonight.

Its my friends 19th except none of my boys are going lol so im going to the bar with a bunch of girls


Just gonna try to put myself into situations that Im not comfortable in and see what happens

 

[OlympicTim]

I was so ****ing close boys.

Anyways went out with some friends this one chick in my social circle whom i probably see once every two weeks who I feel has always has the hots for me was their.

So i was dancing with her and she wasnt really into it. So I just went around hung out with my friends ( I didnt do any approaches because I tried to stay soberish so I could relate the experiences to you guys and im not gonna sugar coat it I pussied out.

Anyways so later in the night it was just me my buddies ex a girl ive hooked up with and the above chick.(referred to as chicky from now on)(Everyone else went home at this point)

So my buddies ex and chicky get grabbed by some creepy dudes (im sure you guys have seen the creeper eyes when a dudes either so hammered or so creepy you can see in his eyes he is on a mission to boink anything in sight)

So me and girl ive hooked up with just go sit down and chill for a bit.

A bit later she gets worried because these dudes were creeps and we can search for our friends.

Anyways I run into chicky and were chatting and it comes up how she thinks I hate her because I called her a ***** one night when she was in fact being a ***** ( ive been working on my anger problems a lot)

So she starts giving me IOIs like touching me holding my hand and eye contact and getting really close face to face.

So i take her to the dance floor shes still holding my hand touching me putting her body right up against mine so I grab her pull her in and try to makeout.

She shuts me down.

danced for a bit longer tried again she shut me down.

At this point im tired as **** and Have to work in 3 hours (2 after I got home and have this typed) so I decided to go sit for a bit by myself text my bros see how their nights are going and such.

So I go tell the girls Im leaving and chicky gets all upset and says shes coming with me. Again holding my hand and seems very interested.

Her friend didnt want to leave and she didnt want to leave her friend so she gave me a pouty eyes look asked me to stay I said no im leaving you can come if you want and she just hugged me and went off with her friend.

I cabbed home and started writing.

Anyways so I dont really understand how I was getting all those IOIs and she wouldnt make out (Read somewhere 3 and she wants to be kissed if someone can confirm) then said she wanted me to stay and was going to go home because I was going home ( I dont think she intended to come back to my place we were just gonna split a cab)

So she went from high interest to wont make out with me to high interest.

I feel like the second she didnt make out with me I should have went and danced with another girl ( what do you guys think about that)

So yeah this is my attempt at giving you guys more detail about my adventures did i give enough or too much or the right amount?

And should I text tbis girl tomorrow ans try to pursue it I feel like shes into me but the not making out has me worried

-OlympicTim