Older Boyfriends....

[kegger]

Okay, so first let me state that I am caught in a game and know that I could just be getting toyed with but that's why I am taking each move as I can and looking for any advice. I'm willing to try anything once.

Well, here goes my back story. There is this girl I have known for about 5 months or so, a friend of a friend. We are both in our early 20s. We have spent a lot of time hanging out together and such (ugg friends) and I have this personal issue with taking the next step and asking someone out and then get lost behind. I've now realized this and in the last two weeks have made strides because I'm not just working on this one girl but of them all, she is the one that could probably turn into something serious, not just a easy lay.

Well, one of my good friends who is pretty good with the ladies actually got her to come hang out with me and found out she had a boyfriend all in the same night. This dude is 11 years older than her. (Daddy issues?) She never bothered telling me about him and didn't until I approached her about it. Well, I pretty much told her that was too bad because I was about to ask her out on a date. Add some crying from her and her telling me how she wished I had told her sooner, I played it the best I could and got her to agree to hanging out more to see if I could change her mind some.

Well, this was last Saturday and since then we have hung out two nights, chatted both days, I've tried my flirting as much but not real good with it so any hints there are welcome. She is going camping with us tomorrow (Saturday) and then canoeing on Sunday. I convinced her to come home early from her boyfriends (where she usually spends the entire weekend) to go. My friends say I am not doing bad but I wonder if they are just being nice...

I guess what I want to know is first, what is the motive of a girl wanting to date a guy 11 years older than her, how can I get him out of the way and where should I go? Also, am I completely nuts? Please help, I really care about this one and want to make the right moves!

Thanks!

 

[Gangster Of Love]

Well, here goes my back story. There is this girl I have known for about 5 months or so, a friend of a friend. We are both in our early 20s. We have spent a lot of time hanging out together and such (ugg friends) and I have this personal issue with taking the next step and asking someone out and then get lost behind.

He who hesitates, masturbates! She sees you as an asexual, sexually non-threatening friend. You might as well be gay; you are the guy she can hang out with, who won't make a move on her.

I've now realized this and in the last two weeks have made strides because I'm not just working on this one girl but of them all, she is the one that could probably turn into something serious, not just a easy lay.

For somebody who is working on "of them all", you sure have a huge oneitis with this one. You are prematurely promoting her to "something serious" status, in other words, you have her on a pedestal, while being passive about the whole thing.

Well, one of my good friends who is pretty good with the ladies actually got her to come hang out with me and found out she had a boyfriend all in the same night.

Seems your good friend got her going a lot quicker in 5 hours than you have in 5 months.

This dude is 11 years older than her. (Daddy issues?)

Not necesarily. He probably is aggressive and doesn't play games and knows how to handle a little girl like her.

She never bothered telling me about him and didn't until I approached her about it.

Why would she? She didn't think it was relevant, as you are just one of her "girlfriends", based on your behavior.

Well, I pretty much told her that was too bad because I was about to ask her out on a date. Add some crying from her and her telling me how she wished I had told her sooner,

Translation: add some crocodile tears and some lies to protect your ego.
Too bad you had to resort to overtly communicate your interest in her.

I played it the best I could and got her to agree to hanging out more to see if I could change her mind some.

So you begged her to give you a chanace to beg her even more? Hmm. :nono:

Well, this was last Saturday and since then we have hung out two nights, chatted both days, I've tried my flirting as much but not real good with it so any hints there are welcome.

So talking, more talking, and even more talking. All this while she has a sexual man who she calls "daddy", who's really giving it to her.

Stop this apologetic demeanor you have with her. If you want to move forward, you need to advance physically. The more you talk, the deeper the hole you are digging yourself in, the more she's looking at you like a pathetic case. You need to kiss her, no apologies; although it is way too late for that.

She is going camping with us tomorrow (Saturday) and then canoeing on Sunday. I convinced her to come home early from her boyfriends (where she usually spends the entire weekend) to go.

So you begged her to go spend time with you. Off course she spends the entire weekend there. You are acting so needy here, it is sad. Btw, expect a flake on this one.

My friends say I am not doing bad but I wonder if they are just being nice...

I will guess your friends have no idea nor understand the dynamics of this situation, nor how needy and in the hole you are; but I, who's consistently lays girlies 10-12 years younger, can see it all too clearly, and can break this down for you.

I guess what I want to know is first, what is the motive of a girl wanting to date a guy 11 years older than her,

Read above. He is a man. A mature man, who is not an old man. Somebody in his mid 30's is a young man, and these girls are so used to femenine dog boys not knowing how to handle them, so it is very easy for her to see those manly qualities in her older boyfriend.

how can I get him out of the way and where should I go? Also, am I completely nuts?

What do you mean get him out of the way?

Lets see, you can kill him, order a hit on him. Oh, I know, maybe you can talk her ear off and tell her why you are so much better for her and how he's too old and he's nothing. :flowers: Is that what you want to hear?

Please help, I really care about this one and want to make the right moves!

There are no "right moves" on this one anymore. There is only one thing you can do, with very small chance of working. YOU NEED TO KISS HER, and stop with all this talking. Attempting a kiss is a win-win. She will either kiss back and realize she wants you, or she will stop seeing you, in which case, you will no longer be wasting your time, and can actually drop this one with some dignity in tact.

Thanks!

You are very welcome!

 

[movistar]

Dude! I've got news for you.. An 11 year age difference is nothing. I'm 39 and most of my girlfriends are 10-15 years younger.

Do you think only you young guys should get all the young pvssy??
Don't be selfish

Be aggressive... keep pushing until she says no....if she does then find another to pursue...