OLD funnies thread.

[JayAce]

Posting these real profiles... mostly to tease @biggoal
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1st and 3rd ones look great for their age

 

[biggoal]

Posting these real profiles... mostly to tease @biggoal
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So what percentage of old profiles do you think are fake in America?

 

[biggoal]

Saw this on Ashley Madison. I made a free account to see what's up. WTF. I don't see very many over HB6 there. It's like POF almost. I thought that site was supposed to have bunches of HB9s? This 48 year old looked cute but she doesn't want to provide a cougar experience.

I could supply the boner part for two hours though.

Wanting to find that one person who can meet weekly, during the daytime for some wet fun and mind blowing orgasms. Prefer someone who can host or make the arrangements. Looking for that local, real someone who wants to meet in person, not just exchange pics. Would like you to be close to my own age as I'm not looking for a daddy figure or providing the "cougar" experience. Must be able to maintain an erection for 1-2 hours. I don't tire easily and need someone who can keep up with me

 

[biggoal]

https://www.nbc-2.com/story/41733151/naples-man-arrested-for-pointing-gun-knife-at-woman-he-met-on-sugar-daddy-website

This chick drove 100 miles for a date. I guess I need to drive 100 miles too now for OLD and maybe my luck would be better in Tampa where there are more pre wall and cougars

 

[biggoal]

An HB6.5 cute nurse 60 miles away on her profile lists herself single, never married. Anyway, she's holding a coffee cup up and has a big ole wedding ring on her finger LOL.

Either fake profile or are women just this bold now?

 

[biggoal]

This is that 49 year old teacher. This is her profile. Her summary was actually nearly twice as long as this but she apparently shortened it now. It was in depth so below it is my first message to her that was super long but got her hooked. Her original bio talked about being an introvert more. I mentioned I"m a hybrid of one and she took interests in that.

I am smart, funny, outgoing, energetic, and independent. Staying fit and eating healthy are important to me. It's a lifestyle that helps to keep me centered and happy. I love to have fun and can be adventurous, but also tend to be a planner. I'm a bit of a reformed 'bad girl' in some ways and so I still have a bit of a wild side. Nowadays it just might take a little prodding to bring it out. I like to travel and explore and want to travel more. I'm not like a lot of women that you have met, and I am far from ordinary. I believe that everything happens for a reason and I look for the best in everyone and everything. At 50, I am grateful for the journey, and appreciate that life is too short to waste on things that don't make you happy. I am happy with who I am and am looking for someone who will appreciate and cherish me the way that I am. I love to run and hike, and spend time outdoors, at the beach, or exploring local things to do. I also love to binge watch my favorite t.v. shows at night or on a lazy day. I don't mind if you drink occasionally, but if you need to drink to have fun, or like to get drunk, then I am not the girl for you. I am looking for a man who is strong and secure in himself, but also a gentleman. Obviously physical attraction is essential, but if we can also have deep conversations and share observations and analysis about people and the world, then I will probably be hooked. I say what I mean, and mean what I say. I need a man who does the same. I am very affectionate, and I enjoy holding hands and kissing. I know my profile is long, but I don't want to waste my time or yours. So, if you are intrigued or want to know more, then send me a note. What do you have to lose? p.s. All of my pictures are accurate and current. What you see is what you get

My first message. Her summary was about twice as long as what I posted above to I counter with a message nearly as long.

I was just browsing on here and saw your wonderful smile and simply adorkable glasses which I'm a huge sucker for! Anyway, I read over your entire profile (yea, I actually read them unlike many guys lol) and must say I'm really impressed! One of the best summaries I've read on here. Very thoughtful! I was really touched on the funny, and outgoing part. I mean, just from your photos I could tell exactly your personality type! Photos say a lot and that smile on your face! I see you're an introvert as well. I guess I can say I'm one too until I know someone. Otherwise, I'm pretty shy at first too. Hey, maybe that's why we're using online dating Once I get to know you I'm a chatty chat! Love the active lifestyle part. I just hate being inside in general! So, how often do you run? I run almost daily, sometimes 6 miles! Good stress reliever! I noticed you touched on communication and chemistry in a relationship as well. I gotta say that section piqued my interest the most! Being able to communicate well with each other and have intense conversations I feel makes for an intense and more intimate relationship. While looks are important, intelligence is very attractive as well to me in a person! There has to be substance to a person, not just a pretty face. Personality and intelligence, education are very important to me. So, what level education do you teach? Oh, and I just adore that you list your political beliefs! I myself am very conservative! However, since a lot of women on here list their dislike for Trump supporters and conservatives on their profile I refrain from openly listing it. We probably agree on a lot of issues! Big points you just scored right there Well anyway, I would just love to chat and find out more about you Based on what I read about you I think we have a ton in common with each other. I do know you're probably wondering why I'm writing to you because of our age difference! Well, honestly I prefer women older than me due to maturity reasons. Women younger than me or around my age seem to be less mature and knowing what they want in life. What you wrote about on your profile is a classic example of why I prefer someone more mature! Well, anyway, I know my message was long, BUT you put a ton of effort in your profile, and I always feel if someone is serious and took the time to explain themselves that it's common respect to give the same attention and effort in return! Have a wonderful evening and look forward to chatting

Her

You're sweet and I loved reading your message and profile. I think we have a lot in common....I suspect you might share my personality type. Have you ever taken Myers brig type personality test? http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/jtypes2.asp Check it out and let me know what it comes out. You're supposed to answer based on you're most real self and not what you want to be or how you wish you were

 

[biggoal]

I saw on Match tonight a profile with former Fox News anchor Megyn Kelly's photo LOL.

I wonder how many desperate men, old men are blowing up the inbox on that fake profile lol being as dumb as some of them are.

You do hear on the news from time to time old guys getting scammed from OLD by sending money. Almost happened at my grocery store a few months ago and the cashier stopped the old guy. Local news did a story on it.

FL has a lot of fake profiles and scammers on OLD due to all the old rich men down here. Usually easy to spot a fake profile but sometimes a bit harder because they will even steal facebook pics to use on them.

 

[biggoal]

From Plenty of Trash. She actually wasn't that bad looking for her 40s but clearly looks like a stoner and worn out. Here is one for the Bernie Bros. One of the more outrageous ones I've seen lately. Check the last part of her summary out. All sorts of red flags with this chick. I'm sure 100 simp men are lining up wanting to make her a 3 hole wonder.

I am a complex soul looking for love. I am trying to find the person that helps me be the best me. Hopefully that person challenges me, comforts me, makes me laugh, understands loyalty and hard work, as well as the importance of family and friends.

If I favorited you that means I see something in you that I can be attracted to. if you don't hate my beliefs and my profile you should send me a message!

This next subject is very touchy. Please don't respond just to tell me how much you disagree with me because I will report you and block you. I'm not here to discuss politics. This is a dating site. The only reason this is here is because if you feel a serious need to disagree with me and send me an email, you are not the kind of person I want to date, so just stop. If you have the overwhelming need to respond to this and bully some girl you've never met then you really do have a small penis. I'm sorry I can't fix that.

If you voted for Trump there is a good chance we won't be a good match. No this doesn't mean I like Hillary Clinton either! I am a Bernie fan. I'm very interested in politics and believe that building a solid foundation in a relationship requires having some common ground on subjects such as politics among others. Also just because I have my political beliefs here it does not mean that I want to get into a political discussion with you, This is a dating site. I don't want to argue at home. I'm looking for someone who feels the way I do. If you don't, keep moving. I don't need to know what you think. thanks


Things you should know about me -

1) I don't drink coffee beer or wine

2) I'm not going to come over to your house in the middle of the night no

3) I don't want to exchange numbers with you until after I meet you and know you're not a psycho. If you have an issue with this then you're not what I'm looking for. I want someone who is concerned about my safety and making sure that I'm comfortable.

4) We're on a dating site. I'm talking to other people. I'm trying to find someone to fall in love with and until such time as we're in an exclusive relationship that's the way that's going to be.

5) I am 420 friendly. You don't have to be. You do have to be tolerant. That being said - if you like to party ( by that I mean coke or other drugs) I'm not the girl for you.

6) I don't share my significant other. So no cheaters.

7) I don't like liars or cheaters. So don't be one and if you are - don't contact me.

I am very pro military and come from a military family. I'm pro second amendment. I am also strongly against racism and hate in any form and hope that you won't stand for it either.

I love animals and want dogs again in my future. While I find comfort in the fact the you may be able to hunt to protect or feed me if needed, I'd rather you shoot animals with a camera and we pick up some steaks at the store.

I want someone to walk side by side with me though life.

that being said if you want someone that has their s*** together -again I might not be the right person. I'm struggling. I have a house but I'm not working I'm not trying to work. No I don't want or need you to pay my bills. Lol I'm just got some s*** I've got to take care of and I'm just not doing really great at it so please keep that in mind.