Old chickens coming home to roost.

[Some Call Me Tim]

This girl in high school I knew contributed most out of anybody to my AFC qualities. I was definitely not special. She's very very attractive, but she knows it, and she strung me along like anything. We were bestest of friends for 3 years, and like a patient little dog I waited for something more, that never came.

She would always flirt with me, and make me feel like I was the only one. I pushed away all the suspicions that there were others like me, or that she was using me for attention. I had myself convinced I was special, when really I was taking a number and waiting my turn like every guy.

I moved away, and she kept her hook in me, she'd never call me, but i'd always call her every so often. She'd always be glad to here from me, but I came to realise her bullsh1t.

She's poison, and I know it. She's written to me on fb, having not heard from her in 6 months. Knowing her, something isn't going well and she needs a friend. The message reads:

hello my little fairy been too long child, how you been? how did exams go? tried calling you, but some china woman answered was that you?

x

When I read it, my heart was in my throat, like it always was when she'd skim me off a little piece of attention. I'm thoroughly back where I started, and needed some fresh perspective on this. How do I respond, if it's a good idea to respond at all?

 

[K2000kidd]

hello my little fairy been too long child, how you been? how did exams go? tried calling you, but some china woman answered was that you?

God if some woman EVER left that on my FB i'd throw up violently and unfriend her right after gargling with a gallon of paint thinner

 

[JPlaya]

Ignore her or block her. You'll just end up back in that situation.

 

[ARrocket]

I think your problem goes beyond this girl and you know it.

You moved AWAY, and you have not had contact with her in 6 months. Yet, she sends you one message, and you're all worried!

The bad news is that I don't think you're doing what you need to do to get over someone, which is improve yourself and spinning plates! Lot's of them!

Maybe I'm wrong, but if you are doing that and she still has this hold on you, perhaps something else is the matter...

The good news is that you realize your past mistakes, and what's happening now.

So, if it were me, I'd reply briefly, and not too enthusiastically. Keep it short and polite. Something like "Yeah I'm always busy these days haha. Exams went well. Hope all is well with you. Take care!"

However if you REALLY don't wanna be thinking about her, you could always just ignore it. She's out of your life anyway, right? Personally, I don't like burning bridges, but it's your call.

 

[Strelok]

Ignore her but DONT block her, dont show any sign of emotion.
All she is looking for is a quick snack for her ego at your expenses.

And if you'll ever feel the need to write her or do anything remotely stupid as that,come back here and read again.

 

[Londonman09]

fairy? wow... don't ignore her or block, but take your time replying... at least a day or two..

Tell her you retired the fairy wings...doing great.. but you don't have time to chat on fb, and if she wants to meet up with you and your friends for a drink shes more than welcome.

If she comes, flirt viciously with some other hottie and treat this girl who called u a fairy like one of the boys hehe. make fun of her for over dressing, whos she trying to impress? etc etc.. Just don't let her come running to you when she needs a confidence boost...especially not at your expense.


edit.... no chance like to present to put your new skills to the test... best case she realizes your not the same lap dog as in HS and gives you some respect... worst case nothing changes and you realize shes not,worth your time.

 

[K2000kidd]

@OP who was the Chinese woman who answered your phone?? Possible plate? I recind my earlier post and suggest you let her stew on this for a while.

 

[Kirro]

My little fairy? Child? THE F---??

That sums up her thought process towards you entirely. Never contact her again. Man I wonder how you walk, must be difficult seeing as how you have no backbone.

 

[Dust 2 Dust]

hello my little fairy been too long child, how you been?

This statement alone would be enough for me to never speak to her again, delete, and block.

 

[Sparky]

Fairy

Is there something you're not telling us, Tim?

 

[Konada]

hello my little fairy been too long child, how you been? how did exams go? tried calling you, but some china woman answered was that you?

I may not have enough experience yet but to me this has disrespect written all over it, intentional or not. I'd ignore, delete if I were you OP. She's just an AW.

 

[Alex DeLarge]

God if some woman EVER left that on my FB i'd throw up violently and unfriend her right after gargling with a gallon of paint thinner

:crackup: Took the words right outta my mouth! Hahahahaha!

 

[Some Call Me Tim]

Is there something you're not telling us, Tim?

Haha, definitely not, I'm straight as an arrow and she knows it.

That sums up her thought process towards you entirely. Never contact her again. Man I wonder how you walk, must be difficult seeing as how you have no backbone.

I'm an english literature student, the message was clearly riddled with belittling and disrespectful language, I didn't miss anything there. As for my backbone, NC is what I had been doing until she came out of the woodwork yesterday, but a little trolling is always helpful brew.

and if she wants to meet up with you and your friends for a drink shes more than welcome.

I've moved too far away for anything like that, and because I know she has a hook in me, I've made it my mission to NOT see her. I'm clearly not ready to DJ up and transcend her, judging my own reaction to this message.

I think your problem goes beyond this girl and you know it.

You moved AWAY, and you have not had contact with her in 6 months. Yet, she sends you one message, and you're all worried!

The bad news is that I don't think you're doing what you need to do to get over someone, which is improve yourself and spinning plates! Lot's of them!

Maybe I'm wrong, but if you are doing that and she still has this hold on you, perhaps something else is the matter...

The good news is that you realize your past mistakes, and what's happening now.

So, if it were me, I'd reply briefly, and not too enthusiastically. Keep it short and polite. Something like "Yeah I'm always busy these days haha. Exams went well. Hope all is well with you. Take care!"

However if you REALLY don't wanna be thinking about her, you could always just ignore it. She's out of your life anyway, right? Personally, I don't like burning bridges, but it's your call.

I've been on the self improvement path for 2 months following an unrelated break-up, but it seems that I have issues surfacing that I thought I had dealt with. The only reason I would even consider replying, is if a short message could be sure to show her that I'm not her b1tch and she shouldn't treat me like one. That said, such a bold mission in such a short message is very ambitious. If I reply, it's confirmation for her that she's still got me by the short and curlies. My mother was a notorious bridge burner, and it never got her very far. That said, I'm happy to let this one kindle.

Unless I get a very compelling reason not to, I think I'll ignore her. Her message is blatantly disrespectful, and she almost certainly wants me to fe11ate her ego. As for the chinese woman, I'm an expatriate living in Beijing, so it's almost certainly her excuse if I question her about not calling me.

Thanks everybody, I think you've all helped me from falling to a very dark place...AFC-HOOD! :rockon:

 

[SharinganUser]

As for the chinese woman, I'm an expatriate living in Beijing, so it's almost certainly her excuse if I question her about not calling me.

What is wrong with you man? You are an ex-pat in China. You should be getting so much ass you don't have time for facebook.

Don't just ignore this girl, FORGET ABOUT HER. You are in Beijing. Go see the Great Wall, Tienanmen, the Under Ground City, The Silk Market, The Hutong, hit up that huge night club(I forget the name).

If you've done all those things, then next time you are free, hit up one of the billion other places in China. My favorite area is Yunnan. Sichuan is also pretty awesome.

And while I am on the subject. The most beautiful women in China come from Chengdu, Chongqing, Hangzhou, and Harbin. All of those places really nice to visit, except Chongqing is quite boring. Mongolian women are also quite nice looking.

Hainan is also a great spot to hook up with Chinese women, because it's a resort area, so you will meet a lot of women there who are on vacation. There is also a lot of hot Russian chicks there too.

Man there is literally to much for you to see and do in China, there is no way I can properly express it in one of these posts.

Seriously you have so much to do and see over there that you really shouldn't have the energy nor the time to be thinking about this chick.

BTW: Have you tried the Baijiu yet?

 

[Fred_Scuttle]

Ignore her but DONT block her, dont show any sign of emotion.
All she is looking for is a quick snack for her ego at your expenses.

And if you'll ever feel the need to write her or do anything remotely stupid as that,come back here and read again.

She might write to him again if he doesn't. I would ignore her not giving her any satisfaction.

 

[Some Call Me Tim]

What is wrong with you man? You are an ex-pat in China. You should be getting so much ass you don't have time for facebook.

Don't just ignore this girl, FORGET ABOUT HER. You are in Beijing. Go see the Great Wall, Tienanmen, the Under Ground City, The Silk Market, The Hutong, hit up that huge night club(I forget the name).

If you've done all those things, then next time you are free, hit up one of the billion other places in China. My favorite area is Yunnan. Sichuan is also pretty awesome.

And while I am on the subject. The most beautiful women in China come from Chengdu, Chongqing, Hangzhou, and Harbin. All of those places really nice to visit, except Chongqing is quite boring. Mongolian women are also quite nice looking.

Hainan is also a great spot to hook up with Chinese women, because it's a resort area, so you will meet a lot of women there who are on vacation. There is also a lot of hot Russian chicks there too.

Man there is literally to much for you to see and do in China, there is no way I can properly express it in one of these posts.

Seriously you have so much to do and see over there that you really shouldn't have the energy nor the time to be thinking about this chick.

BTW: Have you tried the Baijiu yet?

I was based out of Hong Kong for years, so really I know there a lot better than Beijing, only moved here recently. I've seen the main sites, but other than that, I do need to do some exploring. Chongqing is horribly boring, but I drank Baijiu on my last trip there, that drink is...something else :rockon:

For what it's worth, this girl was the first I really fawned over as an inexperienced teen, and hearing from her has really knocked me for six for some reason. I wish it hadn't, but it has, and so I'm here.

 

[Some Call Me Tim]

Quick update.

I went on fb just now to wish some overseas friends a happy birthday. She's clearly seen my activity, and failure to answer her message while online. She's spammed my wall multiple times with HAI and Tim!

I'm still going to ignore her, but this seems like useful information to have if anybody has any more advice.

 

[Tesl]

Funny, I'm on a train this second from HK to Shenzhen, as there are some girls there who are desperate to see me. You have no excuse for ever getting so hooked on one girl when living here

Ive been in similar spots to you before. It seems like you have at least recognized your weaknesses, and that is as good as you can do. Try to keep yourself busy in Beijing and just give her short messages that do nothing for her ego. Blocking her out completely will cause her to try more and more to get your attention and approval, and in this instance that isn't really a good thing for you. So just be polite, keep it short, and don't worry about it

 

[Some Call Me Tim]

Blocking her out completely will cause her to try more and more to get your attention and approval, and in this instance that isn't really a good thing for you.

This is becoming more and more apparent to me. Ignoring her isn't as great an option as it first seemed. More spam of <3s and other sillies on my wall. I'll probably reply tomorrow, I have things to do today, she can wait that long at least.

I've only been to Shenzen once, for apparently great clothes shopping. Didn't find anything all that interesting. Maybe I just don't know where to look

 

[Tesl]

Sounds like you have the right attitude

I just got back now to HK. Shenzhen is so far the best place for nightlife I've ever been to. Relative to the west, japan, Korea and shanghai at least. It really is awesome