Old bf is coming back

[red_karma]

Sup guys.....

I haven't been here in a while but I have some relationship issues right now....I met this girl and we're in a really good relationship and have been for a couple months. I basically would like to stay in the relationship and im pretty sure she does also......

So here's the problem: she's always been totally honest to me and so she told me about her ex b4 me. They were in a loving relationship for a couple years i think......and it all ended when he had to go to college in the Midwest (we're in cali)

So anyways......she told me that right now he wants to see her again and visit her and sh1t and that he still loves her--- I cant be there to watch her because of finals and work........How can I deal with this dude not interfering with our relationship, short of kicking his ass...

Thanks in advance

 

[FratAndDiddy]

why are you worried about a situation you cant control?
if she wants to see him you cant stop her, so concentrate on yourself.

 

[Lost In Translation]

dude you need to lay the law down for your girlfriend

no hanging out with guys she used to blow, sex, rub, tug, screw, grab, suck before she met you

^PR_L

Quote: Player_Supreme
“ Your woman in my opinion shouldn't be talking to an ex. It's ok to have men friends but friends whom she used to suck their d*cks is not in my picture. “

How can I deal with this dude not interfering with our relationship, short of kicking his ass

the dude is not the problem. SHE IS THE PROBLEM.

tell your gf that seeing him is not an option.

she starts drama.

NEXT HER

HER EX IS COMING BACK TO TOWN FOR A BOOTY CALL

*know his goal*

she knows his goal too

you are in a very tough position

they never broke up for any reason except distance

SHE STILL LOVES HIM


Lost In Translation

**AUSTRALIAN STREET PIMP**

 

[PRMoon]

Get another girl out of your pipeline and work on her at the same time. If she's going to hang out with him there's a good chance she'll be f*cking him if indeed they were in a loving relationship. Not a lot to do here but prepare for the worst and get another girl primed and ready. If nothing happens with your girl and her ex then you can back off your second servings a bit, no worries there.

 

[DJDamage]

no hanging out with guys she used to blow, sex, rub, tug, screw, grab, suck before she met you

haha read it again Red_Karma.

When the EX is still in the picture, then its not really over.

 

[red_karma]

K....thanks for the replies so far.

Seem to be right on the money....

But let me update u guys. She's a little bit sick right now--spent some time in the hospital. Nothing 2 serious....but you know.

Anyway....this is why I wanna kick this guys ass. She told him NOT to come but he purchased a plane ticket anyway, cause he prob. still loves her and is using her being sick as an excuse to see her. That dude is coming here w/out her asking or wanting him to come....but ya know, since there WAS a relationship, and he flies all the way here, she's not exactly gonna blow this guy off (hopefully wont blow him on either:crackup: )....

All u guys are basically right on, but PRMoon's advice seems to be most relevant to me--the whole problem is that im relying 2 much on one girl--If I had another girl on the backburner I think my gf would be alot less apt to fvck around with me

Guess its back to the bible....always a good read.

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

If your girl is of worth and has honor she would see him but she would let him know that she is with you and she will not be with him without your presence!!!

If she wants to get back with hin - then you should dump her just for the thought because eventually she'll open her legs to him (I'm assuming that she is not a virgin).

Lastly, why men blame the other guy is beyond my understanding - this guy owes you nothing but YOUR girl does!!!

 

[WhitePimp]

Let's see...guy returning to ex girlfriend professing love, wanting to visit constantly, etc. Isnt that exactly what this site calls an AFC? And isn't getting all crazy and kicking a someone's ex's ass considered insecure and weak and AFC too? If you're doing your job right it seems like he shouldnt stand a chance with you not even interfering at all

I would just be cool with it and be secure that you're being the man you should be and not getting all up in his face. He's being a complete AFC and will probably be on this site asking why his grand gesture of love was met with non interest by his ex.

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

Red man, did she respect your command?

 

[Qualtran]

Let's see...guy returning to ex girlfriend professing love, wanting to visit constantly, etc. Isnt that exactly what this site calls an AFC? And isn't getting all crazy and kicking a someone's ex's ass considered insecure and weak and AFC too? If you're doing your job right it seems like he shouldnt stand a chance with you not even interfering at all

I would just be cool with it and be secure that you're being the man you should be and not getting all up in his face. He's being a complete AFC and will probably be on this site asking why his grand gesture of love was met with non interest by his ex.

DITTO

 

[sexual_intellectual]

Originally posted by WhitePimp
Let's see...guy returning to ex girlfriend professing love, wanting to visit constantly, etc. Isnt that exactly what this site calls an AFC? And isn't getting all crazy and kicking a someone's ex's ass considered insecure and weak and AFC too? If you're doing your job right it seems like he shouldnt stand a chance with you not even interfering at all

I would just be cool with it and be secure that you're being the man you should be and not getting all up in his face. He's being a complete AFC and will probably be on this site asking why his grand gesture of love was met with non interest by his ex.

Disagree. It COULD be AFC behaviour, but done the right way it could just be persistence.

Dynamics change in relationships. This guy has already kept things tight enough to keep her interested for 2 years - she will probably always see him as a DJ.

Red K - tell her she can't see him if she wants to stay with you. She doesn't need him any more, she has you. If he wants to be thoughtful, he can send her flowers.

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

Red, what's up with your girl??? update!

 

[The Bartender]

Here's my view. They were in love, he's coming, they're gonna fvck. So, tell her that you will NOT stand for this. Ask her to reverse the situation and see how she'd feel. If she'd be cool with it, go find someone else.

 

[Ricky]

This is a tough one. If he lays it down too hard he comes across as insecure. If he doesn't do anything she may **** him.

Uggh I'd hate to have this problem.

 

[KingPinp]

I think the above advice sucks mostly

I say let her meet him. you want her to reject him and stay with you. You start trying to prevent her from ****ing people and not doing your thing and thats an endless pitt. Just do your own thing, if she wants to cheat, she will find a way.

 

[nw1512]

im going through the same fvcking thing at the moment.

And as always theres always two modes of advice.

1. Be a insecure cvnt and demand that she doesnt see him etc.

2. Or have some self confience and show it by encouraging her to catch up with him.

Although its very hard to stay on top of my emotions with my current gf when her ex rings and messages her. I'm finding that option two works far more efectively as

1. It show self confidence and self respect
2. Your in control of you emotions
3. Your far from being needy
and the list goes on.

My advice would be (coming from recent experience) is to encourage her to catch up with him. Theres nothing to be paranoid about, if the two of you have a solid honest relationship then theres not a thing to worry about.

When you encourage her to do stuff without her it creates questions in her head like

why is he letting me do this, most guys would freak out.

And when she starts to think these things it only increases her respect for you for being an adult about the situation.

And if she does want to cheat on you she's already made up her mind if she wants to and theres nothing you can do about it.

 

[DJDamage]

Originally posted by nw1512


2. Or have some self confience and show it by encouraging her to catch up with him.

Although its very hard to stay on top of my emotions with my current gf when her ex rings and messages her. I'm finding that option two works far more efectively as

1. It show self confidence and self respect
2. Your in control of you emotions
3. Your far from being needy
and the list goes on.

My advice would be (coming from recent experience) is to encourage her to catch up with him. Theres nothing to be paranoid about, if the two of you have a solid honest relationship then theres not a thing to worry about.

When you encourage her to do stuff without her it creates questions in her head like

why is he letting me do this, most guys would freak out.

And when she starts to think these things it only increases her respect for you for being an adult about the situation.

And if she does want to cheat on you she's already made up her mind if she wants to and theres nothing you can do about it.

Please follow your own advice and tell us how does it work for you, oh wait a second you have!

im going through the same fvcking thing at the moment.]

Not so confident are we? because deep down you know it ain't right!

 

[nw1512]

Not quite buddy

I know im handling my situation the correct way.

It's my ego that clouds my judgement sometimes.

 

[italostud]

Yeah, tell your girlfriend to meet up with her ex. Why not buy her a box of condoms and some lube while you're at it? Idiot. Guys, learn how to put your foot down. Don't let a girl disrespect you like that, shyt.

 

[Remulak]

Rollo Tomassi or one of the other really good posters with some experience, do you put your foot down or do act indifferent when the ex bf comes into the picture?!?!