okcupid : what am I doing wrong ?

[bukowski_merit]

Since OP doesn't like my advise to get better with women first - I'll piggy back off Bokanovsky's post with my insight.

1) Have good pictures (the most important factor...by FAR)

Most guys who fail - fail for this reason. I've "reviewed" a lot of profiles at guys request on here, and almost all the time - the pics are terrible. And that doesn't mean that you're ugly, it just means that you have no idea how to take a good pic.

I disagree with the "by far" though. I think a lot of guys also fail because they lack basic male/female interaction skills (which is really hard to acquire unless you're out in the field). When I read these posts from guy saying "why this my okcupid conversation go bad?" - it always stuns me what kind of gibberish these guys are saying. The OP is good example (even though he could very well be a troll... that doesn't matter he's made up a perfectly good example of how to fail.)



More on looks:
I think there's a certain level of looks a guy can have that it doesn't matter... But let's be real - guys with those kind of looks most likely aren't on here asking for advice. I also think good looking guys naturally have good rapport building skills with women. Or are complete @ssholes and women on dating sites eat that up just as much.

2) Have something in your profile that would attract attention (i.e. your job, if it's a good one). But don't go overboard with your profile...no need to put your entire life story in it.

My profile isn't even about me. It's about what I'm OFFERING.

There's an old advertising mantra that goes: No one cares about you, they care about what your services can offer you; how you can benefit them.

I apply this to my profile without one concrete fact about me being mentioned.

I also lay "traps".... Put things in my profile that women are going to say "what's this [thing] in your profile you're talking about?" Traps = excuses for women to message me.

3) Send simple messages to test the waters. Ideally, you'd a make a humorous remark in response to something written in her profile. But don't sit there wrecking your brain trying to come up with something funny. If a girl likes your pics, it won't matter much that the message is unoriginal. Even something simple like 'Hey there!' will suffice. Do not send canned openers, pick up lines, long thoughtful messages, etc.

I agree. I really don't give women anything until they give me something. If she reciprocates to me a few times then I'll start the magic show...

4) Keep your interaction light and playful. Do no discuss 'deep' topics like politics, religion, philosophy, etc.

Agree:
100% on the politics
100% on the religion
90% on the philosophy (because talking about my philosophy on sex and relationships works like wonders on some women.)

5) Don't ask a girl out after 3 messages. At the same time, don't spend weeks corresponding back and worth. Talk to her for a bit to establish some rapport and if she appears responsive, ask her out. If she gives you one word responses and doesn't ask you anything, drop her.

Spot on.

And I'd add that if the situation comes up that every woman you're interacting with is giving you one word responses and not giving you much on the rapport side - YOU are the most likely reason for it.